Now that you are a hundred percent sure that you have a stalker, you can now move on and do the panicking. Welcome to a life where you will be subjected to unnecessary paranoia, the feeling of vulnerability and too much exposure knowing that someone is out there for your blood, or body, in case your stalker isn't a vampire.
Oh come on, don't just sulk in a dark corner and wait for your stalker to dig out your deepest, darkest secret. And by the way, your deepest, darkest secret isn't as deep and dark as you think. That kiss with Rhode Camelot? Pssh, almost everyone and their mother knows about that.
Anyway, while you are running around in a circle screaming RAPE, why don't you save that energy of yours and use it to do productive things, like, you know:
STEP 2: KNOW THE IDENTITY OF YOUR STALKER
I am refraining from saying 'duh' in your face right now.
…
Once upon a time, Allen Walker was just this albino midget with as much knowledge about self-defense as the gold fish in your aquarium. Unless your goldfish lives a secret life fighting off wrongdoers on land with Jackie Chan skills, then we're thinking the same. So it's easy to understand that Allen Walker was just your typical punching bag on legs. Once upon a time.
And then Marian Cross entered the picture and no words could describe how life changing that was for Allen.
There was never a morning where he wouldn't wake up on the floor and be ordered to make the fanciest breakfast in ten minutes. At gun-point. There was never a walk in the park that didn't turn into a violent chase with Cross' debt collectors on his tail and his life at stake.
And so after Marian Cross entered his life, the world, as Allen saw it, was hell.
Or maybe he was just being a tad melodramatic.
After all, if it wasn't for Cross' eccentric, that borders to life-threatening, upbringing, he would just remain as the albino midget from once upon a time.
As Allen prepared for school, his secret weapon in hand, he made a mental note to thank his guardian the next time he sees him. And then he'll kick the jerk's sorry ass and everything will be right again in Allen's life.
On second thought…
…
As of today, Allen Walker was a ninja. Yeah, that's right. He was an English ninja and no one says otherwise. Never mind the fact that Allen was 90% English, 6% Italian, 3.9% Russian, 0.1% water and had no ties with any Asian countries except that maybe one of his fourth cousins thrice removed drowned in a river near Tokyo. Anyone who contradicts that fact was going to be ignored because, obviously, they know not of what they speak.
Ever since he found out that he, Allen 'The Bully Magnet' Walker, had a stalker, he was trying to think of all the positive things that come with being in his situation.
So far, he could think of only one.
At least one of his childhood dreams was being fulfilled, right?
Sadly, that one thing didn't make up for all the hard work he was doing because someone out there was being an annoying creeper and was following him around for who knows what reason.
He felt like crying out for his mommy!
Allen tried to be as inconspicuous as he could but doing so while being that gorgeous was something that was bordering impossible. Even as he carried an empty trashcan to hide to while walking down the hallways of Gray Academy, he was still getting too much attention.
Oh come on, he's not that handsome, is he?
The trashcan was kicked unceremoniously out of his hand.
"Hey, looks who's here!"
Oh boy, just what he needed this morning. More attention.
Chaoji I-Don't-Care-What-His-Surname-Is was standing in front of him with an overly smug expression on his overly ugly face. He placed an arm over Allen's shoulder and stage-whispered in a conspiring tone.
"So, what've you been up to this past few days? Haven't seen much of your ugly face lately."
And as if it was the funniest joke they have ever heard, everybody started laughing on cue. The way they guffawed all at the same time as if it were all rehearsed was almost as funny as Chaoji's face, in Allen's humble opinion.
Allen didn't even think to give an answer to Chaoji's pointless question because 1. His tiny brain wouldn't be able to comprehend, 2. It would be a waste of oxygen and 3. It was pointless. Duh.
It was a globally acknowledged fact that big dudes with very few brain cells were easily offended, so when Allen didn't grace Chaoji with an intellectual retort, he took that as an offence.
Chaoiji gave a nasty growl before fisting Allen's uniform and raising his hand to give Allen's face an awesome black eye.
An attention demanding cough made him freeze though, and when Chaoji turned to look at the one that dared stop him from giving the proper English man a proper beating, his expression change. Allen wished his face would change, too. Anything will be for the better.
"No fighting in the hallway."
Allen froze, too. He would recognize that crisp tone anywhere. When Chaoji let his shirt go and made a run for it, the pimp, Allen managed to stop himself from face-palming.
"No running in the hallway, too."
As subtle as he could, Allen sidestepped the professor and made his way to his forgotten trashcan. He was stopped, though, when a hand that belonged to the force of righteousness landed on his shoulder. Allen gulped on instinct.
"Walker. My office. Now."
With a defeated sigh Allen turned around and walked to the lion's den.
"Yes, Professor Link."
…..
Allen could say out right that he didn't enjoy his visits to Professor Howard Link's office. For one, the chair he was sitting on was so stiff he could almost hear his back bone crying out in pain. Also, these visits were starting to annoy Allen, much to his surprise. He knew he was a pretty mellow person and it takes much to get on his nerves. Maybe he was starting to develop an evil, darker side to his personality. Oh well, he already knew he was never meant to live the good life. He lived with Marian Cross. Go figure.
For a moment, Allen entertained himself by looking at nothing in particular. When that became boring, he instead looked at the moles on Professor Link's forehead. He soon regretted doing that. He almost busted a gut from trying not to laugh.
"How are you classes?"
Uh-oh, here we go.
"Fine." Allen answered easily.
"And your classmates?"
"Friendly as always."
"Friends?"
"We hang out a lot."
Of course, those were obvious lies, so obvious it made a vein pop out on Link's forehead.
"You're not fooling any one, Walker." Link said impatiently.
"Now, why would I want to fool anyone?" Allen tried to sound as innocent as the small cactus on the table, and he did one hell of a good job, too, if he say so himself.
"Allen, I'm supposed to be in charge of you. The least you could do is make my job easier." Link face palmed and groaned at the unfairness of it all.
Allen was feeling very sorry for this poor being. Really, Marian Cross could've picked a good for nothing bastard out there to take care of him and Allen could still handle it. Instead, the jerk chose this…this hardworking, diligent, kindred spirit in front of him and Allen was sure that in the year he'd been under Howard Link's supervision, he already managed to decrease the blond man's life span to the negatives.
Without meaning to, of course.
Life with him was just destined to be rough.
Marian Cross spent those times frolicking on a flowery field somewhere, by the way.
"Do you not want it stop, huh?" Link asked.
"You know it would be useless."
"Allen, you know it won't."
They exchanged a hearty glare. There's nothing better to strengthen the bonds of friendship than a good argument. Just look at Allen and Cross' relationship.
"They will stop when you're around but what they'll do to me when your back is turned will be nastier, I can assure you that." Allen waved his hand daintily here and there as he spoke, like the topic didn't matter.
"I cou-."
"Li~i~ink. Li~i~ink." Allen whined to the tune of jingle bells. Another vein popped out on Link's forehead. "Seriously, Link, I can handle myself. If it makes you feel better, I'll tell you that I know Kung Fu."
"I'm still waiting for the day that you actually use it."
"I'm not a violent person, you know." Allen huffed, deeply offended. Does he look violent? Does this face look violent to you, huh?
"What would Marian say if he would look at you now?"
"He'll be proud, don't worry."
"No, Allen. He would be furious to the bones. Cross raised no pussy. They either end up leading a battalion of soldier to fight in the Middle East or spend the rest of their life in a high security prison. You know that."
"But I don't want that Link. You know I love peace."
"I know you do." Link looked at him straight in the eye as if looking for lies in it. He found a handful of it, to his disappointment.
"Okay. Just…just tell me you have a friend. Just one name and I won't bother you for the rest of the day."
Allen grinned.
"I'll give you two and we'll see each other next week."
Link knew he could only have one answer.
"Deal."
"Lavi and Yuu Kanda."
As Howard Link stared at the empty seat that Allen vacated the moment those two names left his lips, he realized that when he agreed to take care of Cross' supposed son, he should have thought about his life one year after that.
Really? Lavi Bookman and Yuu Kanda? Why was it that that boy always managed to get involved with the most unlikely people? Allen was never really meant to live the good life. The best thing Link could do at that moment was to call and check for his insurance.
….
Allen knew he was very, very late for his homeroom class. He really, really wanted to attend that class and he didn't want to give the professor any reason to humiliate him in front of everybody.
Speaking of everybody, there was a large body blocking his way like the Great Wall of China. He wished it were Chaoji, then he could deck the bloke without anyone noticing. He could really defend himself. No, seriously. He just chose to live the life of the underdog for a change. Seriously.
Right now, he was not enjoying it.
"Excuse me, Professor Mikk."
The Portuguese looked down and faked a gasp when he saw Allen. That was annoying, somehow. He wasn't that small. His growth hormone was just waiting for the right time to kick in.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Walker. I didn't see you there." But he didn't move out of the way.
Allen didn't have anything against this particular professor. He actually liked him. He was one of the few people who left Allen to his business and interferes only when it was necessary. He really, really liked him.
And right now, he would really like to punch him out of the way.
As a reminder, Allen is a person who is pro-peace.
"Do you need anything, Professor?" Allen asked politely.
Tyki Mikk gave him a mysterious smile that managed to give Allen the impression that Tyki Mikk wanted to get in his pants. That and many other unpleasant stuffs.
"No." Finally, he stepped aside.
Allen was already thinking if he should just skip class and be a bad boy for the day when Tyki Mikk spoke and reaffirmed Allen's belief that he was a pervert.
"I'll see you around Allen."
As he watched Tyki Mikk walk the other way Allen thought of two things simultaneously. He wondered if his stalker was somewhere in the vicinity and watching all this events and if he could somehow retrieve the trashcan in the locker hallway for safety precautions. He really liked that trashcan. He felt like they had a connection.
….
Lunch was the time of day when Allen could think without being distracted. The idiot population needed their veggies after all and so they were too busy loading themselves with carbs and had no time to spare for a waste of space like Allen Walker. And because Allen was just that smart, he resorted to packing his own lunch and hide at one of the empty music room in case the idiots got bored and turned on their favorite past time, which were looking at sexy cheerleaders, punching Allen, bitching about school projects, punching Allen, talking gibberish, and punching Allen.
Allen secretly thought that maybe he was actually the school heartthrob for all the attention he was getting.
Sitting at the front seat in an empty classroom on the third floor, the territory of the seniors, Allen pulled out the current source of his misery from his bag. Another bag. The bag his stalker dropped. From all the things he saw inside, especially the last one, he concluded that his stalker was attending the same school as he. And that he was present when Allen was in his PE class. The possible suspects were his classmates and his f-f-friends (that wasn't so hard, was it?) Lavi and Yuu Kanda. Or maybe someone who could access the changing rooms and lockers without anyone giving a damn. Yeah. Somehow the words Tyki and Mikk were being repeatedly chanted by his sixth sense. Why is that?
Anyway, his plan was simple. He would use the stalker's bag and the one who reacts to it will be The One.
As simple as that.
The complicated thing was what to do after that.
Allen wasn't going to think that far since it was still unsure if he was going to live after he learns the truth. For all he knew, his stalker might be an Arabian terrorist masquerading as a student to kidnap him and use him as bait to lure Cross. That was very reassuring.
The door suddenly opened and Allen dived out of sight on instinct.
The bag didn't, though. Stupid bag.
"I can see you, idiot."
Allen stood up immediately more because of surprise than the fact that his white hair stuck out like a sore thumb it would be pointless to hide, anyway.
"K-Kanda?"
"…"
Yuu Kanda, one of the prime suspects on Allen's case of the decade was standing right here. Allen could feel the detective blood in his vein jump up and down with excitement.
Allen subtly pushed the bag off the desk where it made a satisfyingly loud sound. The sound drew the Japanese's attention to it. Kanda glared. The bag cowered in fear. In Allen's imagination, at least.
"Ooops, sorry." Allen waved off his fake clumsiness and crouched to pick up the bag and its discarded content. Kanda ignored him.
Well, that was lame. Allen's detective blood shouted 'Boo' and threw rotten potatoes in Kanda's direction.
"Why are you here?" Kanda asked. The Japanese walked and sat at the desk next to Allen's and it was only then that his brain actually kicked in.
He was inside a room with Yuu Kanda. The Yuu Kanda. The modern shinsengumi with a real sword. Allen was still wondering what 'shinsengumi' was and if it was edible but whatever. Any word that was in the same sentence with 'Yuu Kanda' was supposed to be terrifying. Who was Allen to question that fact?
He was so lost in his thought that he didn't notice the very close proximity of the Japanese until he felt fingers on his chin. He was made to look up at the black pools of dark darkness that was supposed to be Kanda's eyes. Allen felt his soul being pulled out through his mouth, which, by the way, was hanging open.
"I was asking you a question." Kanda demanded.
"Buuuh…? " Allen was really intelligent when it comes to talking to others. Especially Japanese others. You don't want to bore those Japanese.
Kanda let go of him with a 'che' and he felt his soul returning to its proper position. Allen immediately packed his things and ran the hell out of there.
It was a miracle he was still alive.
...
During all of Allen's class, he always put the cursed bag in a place where anyone could see it. So far his plan was letting him down. No one was even paying attention to him. He somehow knew it was because of the changing room incident. You never want to piss off seniors if you want to get married and spread your genes all over the world. Nosiree.
By the end of last period, Allen's hope of knowing the identity of his stalker was all splattered on the dirty floor. And to put icing to the cake, someone thought it was funny to paint Allen's locker pink with crude names written all over it. When Allen opened his locker, he found half of his belongings painted gay. Allen thought it was cute.
The only good thing that happened to him that day was when he found his beloved trashcan outside of Professor Link's office. Link's concern for his well being was really touching Allen could cry. Maybe later.
Another good thing was that no one was following him. He made sure of it. He was walking backwards with the trashcan under his arm to be sure. He realized he was doing a good job at it that he decided to make his middle name 'Backward'. Allen Backward Walker. Yeah, that sounds nice.
As he was walking backwards and looking around at the same time, he noticed a familiar head of purest red mercilessly punching the living daylights out of a claw machine. You know, that annoying game at arcades where you waste half of your living expenses and only get one toy. And that was when you're lucky.
"Lavi!" he called out without thinking.
Lavi paused in his claw machine massacre and grinned sheepishly when he realized he had an audience.
"Allen, my friend! What brings you here on this fine day?" Lavi asked cheerfully, hand still poised to punch a hole through the machine.
"Uh, my house is this way."
"Oh really?" there was something suspicious with the way Lavi said those words. But there was also something suspicious with the way Lavi breathes so Allen decided that is was nothing to worry about. He looked over Lavi's shoulder to see if the claw machine somehow survived the attack.
That act only caused Allen to have a conniption.
Something familiar was staring right back at him from inside the glass case. It was yellow, it was grinning maliciously at him and Allen swore he saw its teeth go 'Ping!'
"Allen. You okay? You're turning blue, you know."
Allen thumped himself on the chest to keep his lungs working.
"That…that thing." Allen managed to gasp in between greedy intakes of oxygen. He pointed a shaky finger at 'that thing' and Lavi followed.
"What? Timcanpy? It's cute, right?"
Allen didn't answer Lavi. He was too busy pulling out something from his bag. Finally he managed to get it out and shoved it at Lavi's nose.
Lavi gasped in recognition.
"My bag! Where did you find it! I've been looking all over for it!" Lavi took hold of the bag and did a little victory dance which was just a lot of ass shaking, nothing creative, really. Allen's brain was too fried to find it funny. He was that shocked.
Lavi? LAVI? What the hell?
"You…you STALKER!" Allen roared as he lifted the trashcan and tried to pulverize Lavi with it. He was so going down!
"Allen, what are you doing!"
RAWR! CRACK!
"KILLING YOU, YOU BASTARD!"
CHOKE SLAM!
"But WHY!"
FROG SPLASH!
"You own that BAG!"
619!
"Yeah, but I haven't seen it since Yuu borrowed it from me one week ago!"
PAUSE!
"Yuu?"
"Yeah, Yuu Kanda. Dude, you almost ruined my face."
STUTTER!
"B-bu-bu-but…"
"Hmm?"
As answer to Lavi's incoherent question, Allen tipped down the bag and let all the contents fall out.
All Lavi said was "…Oh…"
Really, Lavi? I thought you could do better than that.
"Oh shit." Lavi finished.
Much better.
And then Lavi scratched the back of his neck and smiled apologetically at Allen.
"I was just kidding when I told him to stalk you. I'm pretty sure he means you no harm." Lavi said and his smile transformed into a reassuring one.
Like hell that would make him feel any better.
His stalker was Yuu Kanda.
His stalker was a JAPANESE! Allen wasn't a racist and he doesn't mean anything by that statement.
But still, how could he rest assured when he had a Japanese stalker on his tail?
….
Ring…Ring…Ri-
"Hello?…Oh, you called early… Yeah, he's here…You want to meet him already?...No, I just think you should wait a little longer…Heh, yeah, I know how much you love reunions, Earl…Yeah, goodbye."
=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=
DUN DUN…Dun?
Hello again! I can't believe I updated after just a week. Do you know why? It's because of all the reviews I got! 11? Really? That's already too many for me.
Thank you to:
Kura-Chama, Araven14, RoyaiAllenaleeRight, Mr. Ree and Mr. Meenor, The Puppeteer Master, ElricLawliet, SNVN, waterlit, Pearl of the Orient Seas, addenza, hime-tan
And thank you to all who faved and alerted.
You guys are all great!
I can't believe nobody thought of Kanda being the stalker. I guess it would be too predictable, right? And now that Kanda turned out to be the stalker I'm going to lose half of the readers because 'Dude, there are, like, thousands of Yullen out there and we don't want another one, like, dur."
So yeah, good luck to me.
I tried to write the way I did in the first chapter but this one is a total fail. I didn't know half of what I was writing in chapter one. I was young, then, less jaded.
The line that says 'The world as Allen saw it is hell' is a very cute line by Lavi in the manga. The Choke Slam, Frog Splash and 619 are wrestling techniques, I think. I don't watch WWE anymore.
Thank you for reading!
STEP 3: FACE YOUR FEAR