After the very enlightening 2 minute and 16 second conversation (minus the enlightening part) with your stalker, you now find yourself with 3 conclusions.
First: Due to the fact that he basically told you that your life is as exciting as the dirt in his toenail but still insists on following you around, his whole life is a complete contradiction and he is in DE-NI-AL.
Second: Due to the fact that he pissed you off on purpose and then proceeded to be illegally touchy-feely with you in the course of 7 seconds, he has been living all his life without knowing that he is constantly being possessed by a perverted ghost at the very wrong moments.
Third: Due to the fact that you didn't get any useful information from your stalker because you just stood there frozen like a sorry block of white-haired ice cube and the stalking still continues then STEP 3 had been a complete and utter failure.
You look over these 3 conclusion several times and realize that, shit, you're life is totally doomed. You failed to put a stop to your stalkers diabolical plan and gave him more reason to double his efforts in making you feel like you're being violated by his eyes alone. Even in the dark.
And yeah, that is so not good.
Even though your case is totally hopeless that you already have half a mind of shaving your head bald, grabbing your passport and seeking refuge in a country far, far away, there is still hope for you. Please excuse the complete inconsistency of that statement. If you don't, then that tinsy-winsy bit of hope that exists in your totally hopeless situation would spontaneously combust and you will be left in the dark. With your stalker…Forever…
The only advantage you have here is the knowledge that you KNOW someone is following you and that he could see and hear and FEEL your every action. Use this fact to CONVEY, CHANNEL, TELL him in little ways that you actually meant what you said last chapter and you weren't joking when you said that you want him to stop, like, now.
After that…well, after that is still a mystery. But hey! What would life be without it?
STEP 4: GIVE SUBTLE HINTS THAT YOU WANT HIM TO STOP
….
It was one of Allen's many quirky habits to pray every waking moment of his life, and since he'd been lucky to be awake that Wednesday morning, he slowly sat up on his bed, closed his eyes again and prayed.
Mana, who art in heaven, how are you? Good? Fine? Fantastic? Okay, I've been meaning to ask you this ever since the crazy in my life escalated far off the charts. Are you, by any chance, still mad at me because of the corndog incident? Because, you see, I think someone up there is plotting against me and I can't think of anybody else. Well except for Cross, but he's not dead. Yet. Wait, is he?
Anyway, I just hope that you were telling the truth when you told me that everything you did was for my best interest and you would never put me in harm's way.
Oh and by the way, it was your brother who told me to put hot sauce in there, so I was innocent…
Errr….Amen.
Allen opened his eyes and somewhere between Amen and thinking of all the food he would eat today without feeling guilty for demolishing his paycheck under the guise of making up for lost time, he realized that he had a killer headache and that the room was spinning. And, wow, was the TV meant to be in that position?
Allen tried to stand up but ended up stumbling backwards on his bed because he totally felt the blood rush up to his head like a horde of buffalos and it felt horrible. It was so horrible that he couldn't help the pained scream from leaving his lips which in turn upped the level of his headache to unworldly proportions. He told himself that that would be the last time he would scream until this torture ended. But then the door just had to open after this and Allen let out a 'KYAAAHHHH!11ONE" so loud it probably broke glass somewhere in the neighborhood.
Lavi was standing there with the most innocent face he could muster without looking like a puppy. Allen noticed that he was holding a tray-his tray- of food-his food-with a glass of orange juice-again, his.
Allen also noticed that Lavi was in his house.
"HOW DID YOU GET IN? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY FOOD! I COULD SUE YOU FOR BREAKING AND ENTERING! URGH! MY BRAIIIIINNNN!" After this tirade of almost-nonsense, Allen fell back down on the bed, doing a very good job of looking very dead.
Lavi looked alarmed and immediately went on Allen's side, looking all over for any sign of self-induced damage. He found none, since Allen's brain was inside his head, and the redhead plopped down the carpeted floor with an almost inaudible sigh of relief. And then he remembered Allen's questions.
"Of course I entered through the front door. The food is for you. And you can't sue me, Allen, since I didn't break anything."
Something exploded in the kitchen and the sprinklers went off.
Lavi scratched his chin awkwardly. "Uhhh…wait here for a moment."
After five minutes of cheerful cursing outside the room, wherein Allen's egg sandwich drowned on the plate before the indoor rain stopped, Lavi opened the door to Allen's room once more, smiling sheepishly. The moment he stepped away from the door, the knob gave a mournful kind of groan and fell on the floor, totally broken.
Lavi scratched the back of his neck this time. "Eheh…sorry. I tried to not break that but your room was locked so…I really had no choice." A very subtle side glance in Allen's direction told Lavi that the younger boy was not impressed and that he would need to call for legal assistance soon.
Knowing very well that he couldn't do anything about these things for now, Allen reluctantly made himself comfortable on the bed, eying Lavi suspiciously.
"Why are you here, Lavi?" Then realizing something, he changed the question. "Wait, what time is it?"
Lavi grabbed his shoulders when Allen attempted to get up, shaking his head slightly.
"It's already past 9. You're already late for school. And you wouldn't be able to go to school anyway, since you have a fever."
"A fever?"
"Yeah, a fever."
Silence.
"Why are you here, Lavi?"
Lavi smiled.
"I'm your nurse."
How did that happen?
"What do you mean?"
"Eh? Did you forget? You've been out of it since Monday and you went to school with a fever yesterday. Link told me that I should take care of you until you get better since you live alone and I'm your only not-likely-to kill-you-while-you-sleep friend. He was really worried. I've never seen him like that before, you know. I don't know what the deal between you two is but I thi-." Lavi stopped and looked questioningly at Allen when he didn't react.
Yesterday? What happened yesterday? He somehow knew that it was already Wednesday but his last clear memory was Monday morning, with Kanda and then he thought something in his head had snapped then and maybe his brain hadn't been fully functional for the rest of the day AND the day after that.
Who could blame him? That event had been very traumatizing.
"Allen?" A light touch on his shoulder and the softly spoken name broke Allen's thoughts. Lavi was looking at him worriedly.
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure? You look very pale." He moved suddenly and before Allen could protest, both their foreheads were touching. Allen closed his eyes and tried to stop the blush from appearing on his cheeks. Guys weren't meant to be this touchy-feely to other guys! Even though he's slightly gay!
"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Allen asked, trying to shove Lavi away, but he felt so tired he ended up clutching Lavi's shirt.
"Checking your temperature, what else? I think your fever's subsided a little, but you still need to rest." Lavi noticed Allen's hand clutching his shirt. "…" He didn't pull away.
The door, already suffering from knob-loss, slammed open, hitting the side wall hard and leaving a very large dent that would cause Allen money, lots of it. But he didn't notice this. He was too busy gaping at the man who kicked the door open. He was still clutching Lavi's shirt and Lavi still wasn't pulling away.
A hand grabbed the side of the door and slammed it close again.
Allen let go of Lavi's shirt. Lavi pulled away.
"…was that Kanda?" Allen asked, desperately hoping for a miracle, some kind of divine intervention…anything!
"…Yeah…It was." Lavi was scrunching his face. He looked kind of troubled.
Maybe it was the fever, or something in the air, or maybe it was because of the fact that his stalker was in HIS house, either way, Allen still processed everything and concluded that something was not right.
"You led him here…" he muttered. Lavi turned to him his expression changing to confused.
"What?"
Allen looked at him with crazed eyes. "You led him here, Lavi. Can't you see? For some unknown reason, you know where my house is, and for some unknown reason, he knows that you are going to my house so he followed you. It's your fault…" Allen seemed to deflate after every word and by the end of it he was curled in on himself, clutching his aching head and cursing his non-existent luck.
Lavi felt very sorry for him and didn't point out the fact that Yuu's been following the kid for almost 3 weeks now and that Yuu already knew his address from the start. He didn't want to kick the kid's sanity any more.
"WHY DIDN'T I SEE IT BEFORE? YOU'RE A SPY!" Allen exclaimed.
Lavi paused, trying to process Allen's outburst. He pointed a finger at his nose, feeling rightfully confused.
"THE HAIR! THE OUTFIT! THE WAY YOU BREATHE! THE MISSING EYE!" Allen continued to runt, ignoring the feeling in his head akin to a huge building falling apart.
Lavi was very offended.
"Hey, Hey! Are you making fun of the fact that I only have one eye?"
Allen ignored him, continuing instead to mutter to himself.
"This must be a conspiracy. Someone is planning to assassinate me. Oh gods, they know where I live. The one eyed pirate led them here. I need to hide, get a new name. Shit, where's my passport!"
Allen's assumptions continued to escalate to a whole new level of impossibility and Lavi thought that the kid was somehow having a little too much fun with Cocaine, or marijuana at the very least.
Lavi placed a hand on Allen's shoulder. Allen growled and tried to bite it off. The snapping of his teeth might have woken him up a little because he blinked at Lavi several times.
"…get out."
The redhead suddenly came to the conclusion that Allen was suffering from a severe case of bipolar-ness…bipolarity…
"Allen, wait. You s-."
"GET OUT!"
Allen surprised Lavi when he suddenly grabbed the senior by the waist and threw him out the door, without bothering to actually open the poor thing. He chased Lavi out the house for good measure.
"Allen! Yo-."
"Goodbye!" Allen slammed the front door at Lavi's face, a screw snapping out of the hinge and hitting him on the forehead.
Allen blinked.
And he fell to knees.
He started to cry both in frustration and the fact that his headache was hell bent on destroying what little sanity he had left.
…..
It was 2 in the afternoon when Allen noticed that he already ate a month's worth of food and he was still hungry. He wasn't surprised; it was, after all, a normal occurrence to him. What pissed him off was the fact that he had to go out to buy grocery because all the food in the cabinet and fridge disappeared magically, and by magically, he meant, vacuumed down into his stomach.
Allen sighed. Well it couldn't be helped. He needed to get out, even though his killer headache still hadn't gone yet and he was feeling very tired. When Allen needed to eat, then he bloody well has to eat and no earthquake, tsunami or meteorite could stop him.
Plus, he still needed to do something about the oven Lavi set aflame.
Allen received the shock of the day, when he opened the gates and found Lavi, LAVI!, sitting cross legged on the ground looking very much like a guard dog.
"Lavi?" Lavi looked up and smiled at him.
"Hey. I thought you were never coming out." He said, standing up and walking over to where Allen was standing, gaping at the senior.
"You mean you've been there all this time?"
"Of course. What kind of bodyguard am I if I left you in that vulnerable state?" He waved a hand at Allen's person, noticing Allen's pale face, sweaty skin and his slight pant.
They both stood there for a minute. Allen couldn't find the right words to explain just what he was feeling at that moment. He was…he was feeling something, but what exactly was it?
"Why are you smiling?" Lavi asked suddenly.
Allen started. He slowly lifted a hand to touch his lips and found that, indeed, he was smiling.
"I…don't know." Allen's smile slowly disappeared because he had just been hit by the realization that he was smiling, which means that he was happy because…
"Why are you doing all this, Lavi?" He asked, looking down at his feet and shuffling nervously. He was acting like a girl, he noticed. Ugh.
"Eh? I told you I will be your body guard, right? 'Cause it's my fault Yuu's following you and all." Lavi furrowed his brows and looked down at the younger male. Allen wasn't looking at him.
"But you didn't have to go this far, you know. Waiting for me to come out. What if I stayed inside all day?"
"Then I'll come in again."
Allen looked up immediately and glared at him. "You wouldn't. You owe me big time for that oven. And Cross will kill me if he finds out something is broken." Allen crossed his arms, grinning like a maniac when he thought of something really brilliant.
"You'll have to buy me food now, La~vi."Allen sing-songed, suddenly feeling like an evil mastermind.
Lavi blinked at Allen's sudden mood swing. Yeah, totally bipolar.
"Buy you food? Well, I think I owe you that much." Lavi got out his wallet and checked his cash. "Yeah, I think I'll buy food for you."
Allen resisted the urge to cackle. Lavi, you naïve little thing.
Allen straightened and walked closer to the senior, looking at his green eyes. They were so green, like emeralds, that Allen had a brief thought of being sappy.
"Thank you, Lavi." Well, that was the sappiest he could get.
"Nah. It's my fault for breaking your poor oven."
Allen shook his head. "No. Not just that. Thank you, for everything." This was the second time Allen thanked Lavi for all the things he did. It was a little weird for him to be giving out thank yous as if it were candy. But Lavi did deserve it.
"Lavi…" he started hesitantly. He began shifting awkwardly after because Lavi was looking expectantly at him and he felt that since he already started this then he should bloody well finish. He was a MAN!
"Lavi…can you b-be my…f-frweind." Allen almost bit his tongue off by the end of it. He blushed furiously when he looked up and saw Lavi staring at him. He wasn't even blinking!
"What are you talking about, Al?"
Oh shit, he knew he was bad at not being a social retard. Wait screw that. He was dreadful at not being a social retard but, come on Lavi, can't you even pretend that he wasn't?
"We're already friends. Or didn't you know that?" Lavi blinked. "Huh, maybe I should have told you."
Even if Allen tried, he wouldn't have been able to stop the smile from forming on his lips. Yeah, he was feeling something. He was feeling happy. He was feeling happy because here was a friend, a real friend, standing in front of him. And it took him almost two weeks, a flooded bedroom, one broken oven and a missing door to realize that.
Those were too many, now that he thought of it.
But it was worth it.
His mind suddenly conjured an image of his first friends. It wasn't a very nice image. He could see a lot of mess, feel the mischief in the air, and hear the groans of pain and disapproval after a prank well done. He wondered how those twins were doing.
Anyway, someday, preferably when Cross is dead or rotting in jail for improper child-care issues, he would go back to England. He'll visit Mana's grave, maybe have dinner with Rhode, and he'll join in on David and Dero's 'fun'. Yeah, someday…
His stomach gave an earth-shattering growl, reminding Allen that it was seconds away from devouring his small intestine.
Lavi chuckled.
"Come on, Al. We still need to feed you." He casually draped an arm over Allen's shoulder and led him to the general direction of the mall.
You'd think that after this moment, there would be a time skip and next time you'll find them happily laughing together, sitting on a bench with Allen happily demolishing an ice cream. But noooo…the gods were not that kind, remember?
So when they reached the next block to find Kanda standing behind a trash can, Allen just knew that this day was going to be very long.
Kanda visibly flinched at the sight of them, probably coming to the worst conclusion, seeing Lavi too close to Allen. He looked at them for a long time, questioning them mentally why they were staring. Then his eyes widened, realizing that they were so staring at him and the trashcan camouflage was so not working. He hissed and kicked the metal can, making it hit the opposite wall and roll forlornly on the ground.
Allen looked down at it. It had his name at the bottom. Huh, the only trash can he remembered writing his name on was his soul mate. The one he used last week. The one inside his house…
Oh…
"You kicked him!"Allen screamed and attempted to grab the Japanese's hair and yank at it. Nobody manhandles his baby, NOBOBY!
But he was too late since Kanda was already walking away, stopping at an innocent looking post and hiding behind it. He looked over at Allen and Lavi, checking if the two were still visible and if he was not exposed.
He did all this with Allen and Lavi staring the whole time.
"Well, this is weird. I guess he'll be following us." Lavi said, scratching his head and adopting that troubled look from before.
Allen thought that weird didn't even begin to describe this.
….
Lavi was currently mourning the loss of his allowance when Allen noticed that Kanda was really following them. The poor guy was doing a horrible job of being unnoticed. Twice he kicked a random guy blocking his view, and he growled and bared his sharp fangs at any sales lady who even thought of approaching him. Just goes to show that some Japanese didn't make a good ninja.
Allen tapped his full stomach and sighed happily, not even feeling sorry for Lavi. It was his fault for not knowing that the world was harsher that it seemed. Everything would have been perfect if it weren't for the fact that he was still being stalked.
Allen turned his head and looked straight at Kanda's eyes. The Japanese was trying to act like mannequin.
"I really like you, Lavi." He said, loud enough for Kanda to hear. The Japanese's eyes narrowed.
"Allen, if you think I'm going to buy you another dozen barbeque because of that then you're wrong." Lavi sobbed miserably. Allen ignored him.
"Do you know what other things I like?" Lavi flinched, thinking that Allen was going to recite a list of foods he still wanted to eat. "I like dangos," Lavi wailed in the background. "I like sweets, too. I like cakes. I like sushi. I like stew. I like Eat-All-You-Can buffets. AND I specially like my PRIVACY."
Lavi wailed louder, then paused. He looked up from the floor he was kneeling on to Allen, who was sitting on a bench in the food court next to him with a face that clearly says '…?". There were no words there, which was fine because that was what Lavi was thinking that time.
He noted that Allen was trying to melt Kanda, who was doing a horrible job at being unnoticeable, using his eyes. It wasn't really working.
"Yeah, that's right. I like my privacy. So it's very logical to say that I HATE people who doesn't give a damn about my privacy. I loathe those kinds of people. And it would make me especially happy if those kinds of people would stop following me around so I can go back to liking my privacy. You know what I'm talking about, Lavi?"
Lavi blinked his one eye. "To be honest…no, not really." Wait, does this mean his wallet would be safe for the next few minutes?
"That's okay." Allen turned to him and gave him an understanding smile. Then he resumed his glaring contest with Kanda, who was twitching so bad he looked like he was suffering from Tourette's. "But I do hope that other people will understand my predicament. I don't want to resort to violence. It's really against my nature."
Lavi looked Allen over. Yeah, the kid looked so fragile Lavi thought he might break if he even tried to think of doing a karate chop.
"Anyway!" Allen exclaimed cheerfully. "I want some fries."
Lavi resumed his wailing.
…..
Allen ended up ordering a BUCKET, especially made for him, of fries and was given a bottle of mayonnaise. He enjoys it better than catsup. Lavi looked at him as he sat back down on their table, let out a series of sobs, and tearfully excused himself to the bathroom.
He was happily pouring down mayonnaise at his fried potatoes when he noticed that Kanda just sat down at the table next to him, holding a news paper (probably to hide his face) and pretending to read it (he was holding it upside down).
He caught Kanda eying his mayonnaise, looking at it approvingly. Kanda's eyes then traveled up to Allen's face, and then to his eyes.
They stared at each other.
The prick!
Allen held the bucket of fries to his chest and squeezed the bottle of mayonnaise hard, imagining it to be Kanda's girly head, staring at Kanda as he did so. He was trying to convey through telepathy that he didn't want the Japanese sitting there and that if the Japanese wouldn't leave this instance, he would die.
He failed, due to the fact that he still hadn't learned how to communicate using brainwaves. He wasn't even sure if that was possible.
Lavi came back from the bathroom, his eyes bloodshot and puffy.
"I just buried my wallet at the back. May his soul rest in peace." Lavi sniffled.
"Yeah. Whatever." Allen said not really caring that it came out harsh.
Lavi continued to sob for the next 15 minutes, which Allen spent devouring his fries violently, imagining it as Kanda's intestines.
…
Lavi was out of it, Allen thought as he watched the senior walk around the park in a zombie-like state. He looked kind of traumatized. Allen could sympathize with that. He had been feeling traumatized for almost half his life that he already gave up on therapy. It was 5 in the afternoon and somehow, Allen's fever and headache had subsided. He felt that he had Lavi to thank for that.
"Hey, Lavi." Allen grabbed the redhead's shoulder to stop him from hitting a tree. When he was sure that Lavi was standing steadily by himself, he smiled at him. "Do you want ice cream?"
At the mention of ice cream, Lavi seemed to snap out of it, whatever it was, and began sobbing again. Allen chuckled. Yeah, Lavi was traumatized.
He sat Lavi down on a nearby bench, gave his read head a pat and walked away. He had seen an ice cream truck not too far away.
There! He saw a pink truck a few meters away. He started walking to that direction when someone grabbed his shoulder hard and covered his mouth before he could let out a scream of pain.
Allen tried to struggle, but he could tell that the man holding him was at least two times his size and he was still feeling tired because of his fever. He was led to an old car. He heard someone opening the door and the next second, he was kissing the dirty carpet inside when his abductor threw him unceremoniously in. The door was slammed closed and the car was driven away.
Allen made to sit up but he paused when he felt the cool blade of a knife pointed at his jugular.
"Stay still or I'll kill you."
Allen was smart enough to know when to obey.
They drove for about 10 minutes before the car finally stopped. His hair was immediately grabbed and he was pulled out and dragged in what looked like an abandoned warehouse.
This suspiciously felt like one of those scenes on TV where some poor excuse for a bully calls out some back up to get revenge.
His abductor threw him on the cracked cement floor. The rough surface scratched his face and he tasted blood on his lips. When he finally got his bearings right, he slowly sat up comfortably and looked around. His mouth fell open in disbelief.
Seriously? SERIOUSLY?
"Is this the guy?" Some guy who was dramatically standing in the darkest corner of the warehouse asked.
"Y-yes, boss." The man Allen recognized as Idiot #4 answered.
"He's just a kid."
"Don't let him fool you!" Idiot #1 exclaimed, looking at Allen fearfully.
Allen let his eyes roam the place. There were a lot more than 4 idiots in there, most of them old enough to be Allen's dad. He heard the hidden guy, whom he assumed to be the boss in here, click his tongue disapprovingly. The boss took dramatic, slow steps, until he finally reached the lighted area of the room.
He was the biggest and the ugliest of the lot and Allen confirmed his assumption that this was the boss.
"I heard that you beatt up my kids." He growled at Allen in a perfect Big Bad Boy voice.
Allen didn't answer. Even though he could deck this whole lot on a good day (maybe), today was not one of those good days. He was so dead.
When Allen got a kick in the stomach for his lack of answer, he was painfully reminded of Chaoji. This guy was like him, only two times his size and ugly.
Allen clutched his stomach, groaning as rolled to his back. He looked up at the ceiling and thought that America was a really bad place for him to migrate to. Maybe he should have chosen China…or Africa.
Allen didn't notice the boss giving a wave for the others to start the ass kicking fest. Allen didn't notice the warehouse entrance giving a loud creaking noise and he didn't notice his would be ass-kickers pause to look at it.
BUT he did notice his view of the ceiling being blocked by the sudden appearance of a flying…human?
The thing had arms and legs and that was definitely a head there but…what the hell? Humans don't fly, last time he checked. He rolled his head to the side and gasped.
Two figures were standing at the warehouse entrance, their faces dramatically unrecognized due to the light coming from behind them.
Allen sighed. His life was like a TV show.
What next? A heart-felt speech about justice?
"That's not really fare, you know? 1 against 14. I don't exactly like cheaters so…be prepared, for I will bring justice upon this poor soul." That was Lavi's voice.
"Tsk. Shut up, idiot. Let's just kick these punks in the balls and get this done and over with." And that one was Kanda.
Allen groaned and looked up at the ceiling once again. He felt really tired and he thought that these two could handle the punks so he'll just wait here for them to finish. They were big boys now.
One by one, the punks were thrown in the air, effectively blocking Allen's view of the ceiling. Not that it was very interesting to loot at in the first place.
Just when Allen thought that Lavi and Kanda were done, he was suddenly lifted from the ground, his back hitting someone's chest and his hair being pulled harshly so he would look in front of him. He realized that the boss was using him as a shield because his kids were no where to be seen.
Kanda growled and took a step to them. A knife was suddenly pointed at Allen's neck.
"You don't want this kid to die, right?" the boss sneered, probably doing a little victory dance in his head for outwitting them.
"I did say that I hate cheaters, right?" Lavi asked, but his tone was far from joking.
"I know you two. You're the two students' from that stupid high school who always causes trouble. Heh, I think now you've gone too far." The blade dug deeper to Allen's skin and he felt warm blood trickling down his neck.
"Well as I see things, you're the one who's gone too far. Let him go." Lavi ordered. Allen was surprised to hear Lavi use a sharp tone of voice. Maybe he shouldn't mess with him too often.
"Shut up or I'll kill this kid, I swear!" With the way his voice was trembling, Allen knew that the only times this guy held a knife was when he was slicing bread.
Oh, well, Allen could handle this one.
"Superman!" Allen screamed.
The boss, as well as Lavi and Kanda, were too surprised to react immediately to his sudden outburst. The knife was pulled a few inches away and Allen took that opening to grab the hand holding it with his left hand. The boss noticed this too late and Allen's right hand had already punched and broke his arm bone before he could react.
Allen let go of the hand, turned around and buried his elbow to the boss' face. He smiled when he saw a broken tooth fall out from the boss' mouth.
The boss' agonizing screams filled the warehouse and it was only Kanda's foot connecting to his stomach that made him shut up.
"Please don't kill me." He whimpered.
"Don't worry. I won't."
And the boss was punched to unconsciousness.
…..
"How did you know where to find me? Wait, how did you even know that I was kidnapped?" Allen asked.
They were in his living room and Lavi and Kanda were there even though Allen refused to give them entry to his house. Allen had hoped that Kanda wouldn't be able to enter because the Japanese could easily pass as a Far-Eastern vampire.
Lavi looked meaningfully at Kanda's direction.
"…Oh, right."
Allen scratched the bondage on his neck awkwardly. Now what?
Kanda suddenly pulled out something from his pocket and held it out to Allen.
"This is yours."
Allen eyed the checkered handkerchief suspiciously and then it hit him that, yes, that was his. He took it immediately from Kanda's hands.
"How did you get this? I've been looking for it for almost three weeks! Oh wait, stupid question. You're stalking me, so of course you stole it." Allen glared accusingly at him.
"Actually, no." To Allen's surprise, it was Lavi who said this. He glared at the red head.
Traitor!
"That…That's actually the reason why all this stalking thing started."
Allen was confused.
"I don't know what happened!" Lavi held up his hand in an act of innocence. "Ask Yuu!"
Allen turned to Kanda.
The Japanese was looking very annoyed at the prospect of talking too much than necessary. In the end, though, he did.
"You remember Thursday, three weeks ago? You were beating the shit out of the four guys from earlier. I saw you. Had me wondering why the hell you were being bullied at school when you're like that. I saw you drop that. When you were done, I approached you to give it back but then," Kanda paused, his facial expression becoming positively evil. "You grabbed my arm and fucking threw me in the air. My back fucking ached for three days because of that."
Really? Allen didn't remember Kanda back then but he did remember grabbing someone's arm and throwing them in the air. That guy was the…fifth…punk.
…
So that's why there were only four the other day.
Allen fidgeted in his sit, feeling more awkward. Now what?
…wait.
"Which part of that explains why you're stalking me?"
Lavi coughed on his fist.
"I think Kanda is experiencing a bad case of deja vu." He received a very scathing glare for that.
Allen didn't understand.
"What?"
Lavi began to explain. "You see, Allen, two years ag-."
"Shut up! It was love at first sight!" Kanda shouted.
There was a very tensed silence.
Kanda realized too late that what he said was very embarrassing so he concluded that he had done enough talking to last him a life time.
Allen couldn't see how giving Kanda a back ache was love at first sight.
Something was not right. With the way Lavi was looking at Kanda, Allen knew that they were hiding something.
But there was still something that Allen wanted to say. He'll go back to this mystery later.
He turned around to look at the wall clock behind him. It was already eight in the evening.
"I think..I think you two should go home." He said. Both seniors didn't object. It made Allen feel uneasy. He led the two to the front door. Their silence was quite unnerving and no amount of fidgeting and gulping made Allen feel comfortable.
Lavi and Kanda were already out when Allen said the words he wanted out.
"Thank you! For…for saving my life."
He closed the door immediately after. Today had been too much for him. And he couldn't stand to look at Lavi's grinning face and Kanda smug smirk without breaking into a fit of laughter himself.
Allen's back met the door as he tried to will away the stupid grin on his face.
What did he ever do to deserve good friends?
….
What did he ever do to deserve the company of such annoying people!
In the course of one day, Allen's relationship with Lavi and, annoyingly, Kanda had drastically changed for the worse.
Thursday morning found him being dragged by the arm by Lavi away from a grumpy looking Kanda, who didn't even bother to try to hide. No, the freaky stalker was actually being a little too close for comfort and one time, he actually made to grab Allen's arm to pull him away form Lavi.
The students near his locker were staring at them with either envy for his luck (because, lets face it, Lavi and Kanda were good-looking) or anger because they wouldn't be able to bully him now. Not with two seniors watching him.
Mana, who art in heaven, I really hope you're not the one doing this to me. I told you I was innocent!
…Amen.
…..
"So, what? You plan to just kidnap him and bring him back to England?" A man, who was tied up to a chair with ropes, asked the other, older man sitting in front of him. This older man was eating a cookie with the creepiest grin known to mankind.
"Basically, yes. We do need him alive after all."
The ropes suddenly came lose and the man grabbed a cookie for himself, nibbling at it while looking at the older man.
"You think I'll let that happen?"
"It's his choice. You can't tell him what to do."
"True, true." He finished his cookie and proceeded to retie himself to the chair, the older man chuckling at him all the while.
"You're really excited, Earl."
The older man's grin turned dark.
"But of course, I've waited five long years for this."
The once-again tied man sighed. It was just Allen Walker, so why did the Earl have to bring the whole family with him? Well, he was sure that the others were excited to meet the boy again.
"…oh shit, I forgot to tell Marian."
=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=
Please do not question me why I updated. I just read this Naruto crack fic DUDE…WTF. I think that's the title. It's in my community so look it up there if you like. It's hilarious!
Again I tried to make everything funny but I think I failed, again. Plus this fic is getting longer and longer! Why is that?
To ElricLawliet- I think Kanda would be a fail stalker. It would be funny that way. And I've updated! Please do not curse me.
To waterlit-Yeah, I really need all the luck I could get. And double yeah, because Kanda is stupid for holding on to something that's already in the past.
To Araven14- I looked up awesomesauce in the dictionary and on the internet. YOU LIE! There is no awesomesauce word! Does this mean the cake is a lie too? Oh and there will be minimal angst, I hope, since I fail at that as much as a fail in romance and humor.
To Kura-Chama- Yeah, he eats it with milk. Yum Yum. And thank you for wishing me luck.
To AustralianGypsy-You cackled again? Like an evil villain? AWESOME! And maybe when Allen can't stand all the craziness then he'll go to Australia. But there's no Kanda there so don't get your hopes up.
To The Puppeteer Master- Actually, it's not as deep as you think it is. I think.
To Sakura Ichigo Morihiko- THANK YOU!
To Unnoticed Observer- Don't worry. Allen will kick Kanda out of whatever trance he is in and then they can proceed to making man babies. The mafia will be active in later chapters. Just wait, it gets WORSE…
So with that said, I will see you next chapter.
STEP 5: GIVE OBVIOUS HINTS THAT YOU WANT HIM TO STOP