WOW. Thanks so much to everyone who added this to story alerts! And a huge thank you to veegood and Trisana Sarrasri for their reviews.

Thanks for the support guys – here's another chapter, like I promised; one from the point of view of Castle.

I found a season 4 teaser video on youtube that inspired some of this. Warning, this chapter has a couple moments of language. Hopefully still okay for T.

Chapter 2: Just Hold On

I remembered what you told me the day Detective Raglan was killed right in front of us. I didn't want to remember it, and wanted to put it out of my mind, but your words kept ringing in my head like a bell on the moon.

It's different when it happens right in front of you. You're close enough to watch the lights go out.

That day I had been shaken, naturally, but the only thing that was keeping me going was the fact that you were okay. Well, okay in the sense that it hadn't been your blood on the floor of the cafe. It hadn't been your chest with the gunshot wound. It wasn't your life that had been stripped away like the dead bark off a tree, like it didn't mean anything...

I recalled what happened to you. I had seen something in the distance. Something shiny. It took me a few seconds to decide whether it was a threat. A few seconds too long. As I leaped towards you, calling your name, the bullet had already been fired. I was too late; I couldn't charm my way out of that bullet, and it embedded itself within your beautiful skin. I knocked you onto the ground, and found myself on top of you. I caressed your face, wishing more than anything that I could have protected you. I remember blaming myself. I'd failed to convince you your life was worth more than this case. I should have told you I loved you when I had gone to your apartment that day. I should have kidnapped you, or forced you to wear your bullet-proof vest everywhere. This was all my fault. I had looked down at you. Your face was eclipsed by shock and fear, but you didn't scream out in pain. Only you could be this brave even when you were dying.

I called your name, begging, pleading you to stay with me. Please Kate, tell me this was another one of your harmless pranks. Please. More than anything, I wanted you open your eyes and keep them open. Please stay with me. Please. Speak to me, Kate. Mock me. Insult me. Laugh. Be the strong, fearless untouchable cop I knew you were. Or the sweet, fun-loving person I knew you could also be, the side of you that you kept hidden. The side of you that you had just started showing recently, to me.

I told you I loved you.

I told you I loved you again.

I felt strength and weakness at the same time. Weakness, because I was powerless to help you. Strength, because I wanted to kill the fucker who did this to you.

And then, you smiled. I think you heard what I said. You heard me tell you I loved you. You had a sweet little smile as you closed your eyes for what I wished more than anything wasn't the last time...

The paramedics got there moments after the fateful crack of the bullet. It was only minutes, but it felt like hours, days. I refused to leave your side, until they moved you. The people at the funeral that had witnessed the whole thing, the people that were there already tarnished by Montgomery's death, they seemed unable to cope with their grief. Here they were watching someone else die. Someone very close to them, in the middle of a tearful eulogy. Our Kate Beckett.

It was so wrong.

Lanie and I refused to leave your side. We stayed in the ambulance with you as we prepared for the longest car ride of our lives, not knowing if our best friend and love of our life was going to make it. I'd called your dad. It had nearly kil— I mean, it had been very difficult for me, since I had promised him I'd keep you safe, and now you were certainly not safe. I'd even called Josh, or tried to, but I couldn't reach him. I'd have to try again later.

Lanie had called the ambulance, Lanie had been the next one after me to make a move. We had reacted milliseconds after our Kate had been hit.

Lanie was now on top of your stretcher in the ambulance as I looked on. She was frantically performing CPR. Tears were streaming down her face, and I realized this was the first time I had ever seen Lanie lose it. She, like Kate, was seemingly untouchable in the face of danger.

"Kate, stop playing now. Open your eyes and come walk with me. We'll have tea and cookies and forget all this ever happened."

There was no response from you, not that Lanie expected there to be one. She was calling you Kate. That was such a rare occurrence in the 12th precinct, as close as they all were to each other.

She kept trying, never giving up.

"The bullet is so close to her lung, Castle" she wailed, each word punctuated with firm chest compressions. "I don't know if I'm making things worse, or..."

I couldn't speak. I wanted more than anything to reassure Lanie and resuscitate you. But I was afraid I wouldn't be able to handle it. I wasn't strong enough to watch two of the strongest people I knew struggle for life, and control...

Lanie wiped her eyes, and buried her face in her hands. She heaved as she choked back a sob of anguish. It was as if her heart was caving in. It broke my own heart. But I could do nothing but sit, and wish more than anything that they could save you, that I could save you. I wanted more than anything to help Lanie, and make her feel braver now that she was finally over her head. Now that we were all over our heads.

And then she took her head out of her hands, and with the fiercest look of determination I've seen only on your face, sat up straight, and resumed CPR.

"I won't give up on you, Kate. You're my best friend, dammit!"

I did nothing but watch. I felt only guilt. I reached over, and held your hand. It was heavy and cold, and I feared the worst. I stroked it gently.

"Come on, Kate. Fight back."

When we arrived at the hospital, they brought you out quickly and rushed you to the ER. Lanie was still on top of you, still compressing, as if it was her life that depended on it. Her hands were covered in blood. Kate's blood.

Two paramedics steered the stretcher as we barrelled down the halls. I ran full tilt to catch up, not letting you out of my sight. There was no way I was going to leave your side.

The halls were dark, and the paramedics rattled off a bunch of medical terms. The ER doors were getting closer and closer. Lanie was getting more and more agitated.

"Stay with me." Lanie begged.

No response from Kate.

"Stay with me!" Lanie pleaded, getting more insistent. "Come on!"

Then she got angry, and raised her voice, yelling directly at Kate.

"Do not die, Kate Beckett. Do not die." How dare she give up? Why couldn't she just fight back like she usually did? God dammit, Kate Beckett, why can't you just...

"Come on...Come on." she whimpered, as her voice cracked. The tears started again, but Lanie pushed through them and continued her compressions. She wasn't allowing herself to give up, despite the fact that we were approaching the ER.

Another paramedic caught up, and the one on the left side of the stretcher explained the situation, speaking at lightning-speed. "Single GSW to the left chest, initially responsive but lost vitals right in front of us!"

He turned to Lanie, and said brusquely, "Probably want to switch. We got this."

Lanie was having none of it. She forced herself to be strong, and laid down the law. "– My friend, do you understand me? She's my friend..." She looked down at Kate fondly. She put all her remaining energy in those words, too emotionally compromised to add more. "Kate..." she croaked, covering her mouth.

The paramedic looked at her, and told her more gently, "Then let us save her life."

Lanie stared at him for a few seconds, and knew he was right. She got off the stretcher and cried as she watched them disappear. I caught up to her and watched them go. Oh god...

I swallowed, trying to maintain control as Lanie wept bitterly beside me.

Oh, to hell with it.

I hugged Lanie close to me, and we both clung to each other as we cried over our Kate.

"You were quite the trooper," I told Lanie, not even trying to keep my voice from cracking. I swallowed. "Kate is going to be so proud of you when she wakes up and learns how you kept her going like that."

Lanie let go and just cried into my shoulder as I rubbed her back and cried with her.

I told myself and Lanie that there was no way she wouldn't fight this. Kate was brave, strong and tenacious. She never lost anything. There was no way she wouldn't come out on top of this. She would fight and win. She was going to wake up, and we were going to be there for her when she did. The others were coming soon, and we were going to have good news for them when they got here.

I hoped more than anything, that that would be the case.

Author's Note:

This wasn't the best chapter since I was mostly following the teaser, and I'm afraid I might be suffering from a bit of writer's block, but it'll get better. I promise. Like Lanie, and Beckett, I won't give up.

Also, I just wanted to say that I appreciate you. Yes, you, reading this. Thanks so much for reading, and I promise I'll do better next time. If you feel like leaving a note of constructive criticism or encouragement in between me uploading the next installment of this, I would really appreciate it.

Next up: probably Lanie's point of view. Or I might rotate between several people. I haven't decided yet.