DAY 6
Dawn shifted her weight so that she could look into the eyes of whoever was holding her captive. Suddenly she was glad she was lying down because the room began to spin as she faced the same evil that had confronted her at the top of Glory's tower just two years earlier. "Doc," she managed.
"Ah, so you remember me. That's nice. It's been such a long time since we were…together."
Dawn's anger stabilized her world and she found the strength to sit upright on her cot. "Buffy will save me," was all she said.
"No. Not this time, I should think." The demon's eyes grew large and his tongue flicked inquisitively as he spoke. "Have you met my friend, Magistericos? Magistericos, this is Dawn."
"Is she important?" the god's commanding voice rumbled in the empty room.
Doc continued to stare at Dawn as Magus spoke. He contemplated his answer. "Not really important, Magistericos. She is, after all, simply a vessel. Although I do find her…interesting."
"Bah," the god grew impatient. "So shall we complete the ritual now?"
Doc stood upright and turned his gaze from Dawn to Magus for the first time. Smiling, he answered, "All in due time, my lord. All in due time."
From her now upright position, Dawn saw that the small demon was dwarfed by the size of the god, and, although he was deferential, Dawn did not find it hard to discern who was in charge. Obviously there was something more to this than met the eye.
"Magistericos?" Doc was asking. "Have you acquired the Crown as yet?"
"The Crown? Damn. No. That miserable excuse for a vampire hasn't brought it to me."
"Ah," Doc sighed. "And yet, even as we speak, its power surges through the air. Can you feel it?"
The larger man looked around the room as though he might be able to see sparks of energy surrounding them. "Uh, no."
Doc shook his head sadly. "Well, this is why you need me then. I am telling you, that the Crown has been activated. Most likely for a purpose they have chosen. They have obviously discovered some of its potential. You need to retrieve the Crown now Magistericos, or the Ritual is in danger."
A roar filled the air and Dawn ears rang from the sudden noise. She turned her head towards the source of the sound she saw Magus running out the door and heard an answering howl from outside the building. The door slammed shut, leaving her trapped with the small demon, a circumstance she did not relish as memories of the injuries he had given her flooded back. It even seemed that the scars he had given her had begun to throb in response to his proximity. She rubbed her abdomen.
"Do they still hurt?" He was looking at her again with those unusual eyes.
"No," Dawn lied.
Doc nodded, knowing it was a lie, and strode to a table on the other side of the room which had been hidden before by Magus' bulk. "Tea?"
"No."
"Suit yourself." Doc sat down, carefully preserving the crease in his suit pants and proceeded to pour himself a drink from a minion-offered teapot. "I don't believe we will have long to wait, at least. Magus is not one to procrastinate. He will return shortly."
"Who is he?" Dawn squeaked. "Is he Glory?"
Doc dipped his teaspoon into the sugar bowl, and stirred his tea, "Heavens no, child. He is Glory's brother…let me put it this way…The Big Billy Goat Gruff." He chuckled to himself at the literary reference.
"Oh," Dawn was trying to process information but her head was still swimming. "And that makes you, what? The Little Billy Goat Gruff?"
The cup of tea in Doc's hand stopped halfway to his mouth and he smiled. "Well, that remains to be seen, doesn't it?"
#####
Buffy, Faith and the others straggled back into the Hyperion at daybreak, unsuccessful, dirty, tired and frustrated. "Buffy," Angel was saying, "We all need to get some rest. Your strongest team member is a vampire and I can't be out during the day. Let's regroup, sleep, and we'll go out again at dusk."
"No, Angel. I have to find her. I understand that I'm not a Slayer any more, but I have to be strong for my sister. I'll take a little nap, grab some breakfast and then head out with a fresh team. There are enough of us. We can handle it, even without you."
They stood arguing in the lobby but as Buffy finished, the silence around them grew palpable and suddenly both Buffy and Angel became acutely aware of their surroundings. The floor around them was strewn with debris. Lost in their debate they hadn't noticed the door hanging off its hinges or the scattered books and antiques.
"What happened?" Angel asked no one in particular. A groan answered him from the other side of the counter. "Lorne!" Angel leapt over the counter and brushed plaster and blood from his friend's face and helped him to his feet. "What? Who?"
Lorne leaned heavily on the counter, unable to stand on his own. He reached for his head where one horn was badly broken and moaned again. "I don't know. He was just…here. And huge. And he wanted…." But before he could finish, Angel was up the stairs. "…the Crown."
On the stairs Angel knelt for a moment over the unmoving bodies of Chao-Ann and Caridad. They had obviously been surprised by Magus in his search for the Crown. 'Hell,' Angel thought, 'How could I have left this unfinished? This is my fault. I let myself get complacent because there are so many of us, and I got distracted by…,' "Cordy!" he cried aloud and he took the remaining steps three at a time.
The room was empty. Angel threw open the door to the adjoining bathroom, nothing. "Cordy!" he shouted frantically again. Then he noticed that the door to the room across the hall was ajar. He stood in front of it for a moment and realized he smelled blood from the other side. He swung the door open. Wes lay on the floor there, unconscious but breathing. Blood was pooling around him, pouring out from a serious puncture wound in his side. "Wes?" Angel stepped into the room, but the young Watcher could not answer.
Suddenly the door to the restroom in the suite opened. Cordelia stepped out, wringing water from a cloth. "About time too, Angel. Where have you been? We were under attack!" She bent over Wesley and applied the cloth to his head, reaching into her pocket where she had stuffed bandages from the first aid kit kept in each medicine cabinet and began to clean and dress the injury.
"Cordy, you shouldn't…," Angel began. "Are you okay?"
"Of course I'm okay, Wesley defended me gallantly. And who the hell else is 'gonna'?" she countered. "You weren't here! Or haven't I made that abundantly clear?"
"I know, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Is he going to be alright?" Angel indicated his friend now bound together by Cordy's bandages. With a shake of her head, Cordy indicated she wasn't sure. "Where are the others?" Angel asked next.
"Giles and David – and, boy, did he give me a surprise - were here a few minutes ago, but left to try and track them back to their hiding place…whoever 'them' is. Fred went downstairs for more dressings, the girls – and, by the way, will someone PLEASE tell me what the hell has been going on with the whole Slayer thing because Wesley hadn't finished - were mostly in their rooms, but I'm afraid a couple of them were…."
"I know, I saw." Angel sighed.
"Somebody named Kennedy was out Wes said, and I'm fairly certain poor Lorne was…," she sniffed.
"No, no, he's going to be alright. He's a resilient old demon."
"Oh, thank God." Cordy began to shake. "Look at me," she held out trembling fingers for Angel to see, "I'm falling apart."
Angel pulled Cordy to her feet and into an unmistakable embrace, holding her tightly, protectively. "No you're not." He leaned back from her shoulder and cupped her face with his hand. "You've just woken up from a very long dream. I assume that Wes told you what's been going on?" Cordy nodded. "See, and you're handling it just great. Most people would have fallen apart long ago." Just then he noticed something. "The Crown. You're not wearing it?"
Reaching up to her head, Cordy realized what he was asking her and what it meant. "No, it seems that once it revived me, I didn't need to wear it any more. Giles rewrapped it in the velvet and I put it in the drawer of my nightstand."
Angel rushed back across the hallway, they found the drawer, flung into the corner of the room and the velvet in a discarded heap on the floor, but the Crown was gone.
"Looks like they got what they came for, again."
"First Dawn, now the Crown?" Cordy asked.
"Yep," Angel mused. "But what do they want?"
"The same thing as always," Buffy answered the question from the doorway where she stood with Giles and Alan. "Power."
#####
"You sent him after the Crown? We don't have it. We were looking for it too…but couldn't…," Dawn offered. "Besides, even if we did, Buffy'd whip his ass."
"Have you forgotten?" Doc continued. "She couldn't 'whip' Glory and Magus has no weak human counterpart to contain or distract him."
Dawn struggled to make sense of the situation. "But, but, if he's after the same thing as Glory, and you already have me, what's the Crown for? You didn't need anything like that the last time."
Doc turned his head toward her thoughtfully. "My, my. You are a curious girl. Well, Magus believes it is meant to house the power source that will focus the Ritual."
"But it's not?"
"A good question. One that will be answered in time."
Just then the door to the prison flew open. "Success!" shouted Magus. "We have the Crown!" Cheers arose from the scattered minions in the room, and from those battle-scarred ones that followed Magus victoriously into the room as Magus stood holding the circlet of gold aloft for all to see.
Doc's face registered momentary surprise, and then he recovered. "Well, well. Congratulations are in order, my lord. You have obtained the final piece, and so quickly. Was there no battle?"
"The battle was of no consequence. The vampire and the Slayer were not present. We chose our time of attack wisely."
"You are a master of war, Magistericos," Doc feigned flattery.
"Yes, little man. I am a god, a master of all things. Now give me a throne," the large man towered over the demon ominously.
"As you wish, Magistericos. There are preparations to be made. Excuse me." Doc accepted Naillig's Crown, bowed briefly to Magus and then to Dawn. "I'll be seeing you soon," he warned her pointedly.
Dawn shuddered and did the only thing she could, she stuck her tongue out at the evil demon. Chuckling, he walked purposefully away.
Magus threw up his arms to the minions. "Bring me wine! Let us celebrate my glorious return to power!"
Dawn was too absorbed in the other happenings around her to have noticed Ovchi. The beast had approached her cell and was looking at her with clear, piercing blue eyes, his head cocked to one side with curiosity.
#####
Willow, Fred, Giles, David, Buffy, Faith, and Angel sat around one of the dining room tables. Cordy was nursing Wes and Lorne upstairs and the two dead potentials were laid out in Angel's office waiting for the coroner to pick up their remains and ship them home. Robin had organized Vi, Shannon, Becca and Rona into a clean-up crew, and Gunn organized the plans for a 24-hour watch guard. Kennedy was feeling guilty for having been out during the battle and had taken on guarding the central team as her personal responsibility. She was planted outside the door. From their table they could see 'Gunn's Guards' passing the windows at frequent intervals. 'Too little, too late,' Buffy thought angrily.
"David is right," Giles announced, jarring Buffy's attention back to the subject at hand. "I've reread the original text and gone through my notes a number of times and it seems clear that, given what we know of Dawn and the Crown, that they are linked."
"But how?" Buffy wondered. "If Dawn was just 'created' a few years ago, then how can her fate be hooked up to Naillig's Crown which has existed for centuries?"
"Energy, like matter, exists forever. It changes form, function, density, appearance, even universes, but it always exists. Whether the Crown had lain dormant for so long that the original spell had weakened and released the energy, or the monks were near the Crown during the incantation, or they usurped the Crown's energy on purpose, we do not know. But what seems clear is that the monks tapped into the same energy in the creation of Dawn, that the 'great spirit' utilized when imbuing the Crown with its own power."
Willow nodded. She understood the tapping and utilization of energy. "But if the Crown doesn't contain its power, if it's inside Dawn for now, then how did it heal Cordy?"
"The Lazarus bit was part of the crown from the beginnin', s'in the first part of the story," Alan explained tentatively. "Was later that the peace bit was added."
"So this Magus guy is collecting the pieces, right?" Willow asked. "Why? He isn't satisfied with just the Crown, he needs the Key too. So he doesn't have to resurrect or revive anyone. But I don't think he's out to bring peace and harmony to 'the People' either."
"From what I've seen, peace and harmony is exactly what he doesn't want," Angel interjected.
"Our best guess," Giles suggested, "is that he's hoping to destroy the components of the Crown to ensure his victory. He wants to reopen the portal between the two worlds and conduct a war, and the Crown could close it again."
"A war? Why?" someone asked.
"Who knows? Revenge s'always good, or power. Does it matter?" David proposed.
"Wait, what do you mean 'destroy the components of the crown'?" Buffy asked, suddenly alarmed. When no one answered her she made her own assumptions. "You mean he's going to kill Dawn? But if that's all he wanted, then why go to the trouble to kidnap her?"
"Her blood. They still need her blood to open the portal and it has to be flowing, remember? They have to keep her alive," Willow reminded her.
Giles spoke up, "That is, if the blood has not been altered. There have been a lot of changes lately, first with the Slayer spell, then with the reversal. I'm not sure it'll work at all."
"And if it doesn't, little sis is toast." Faith helped. Buffy threw her a stinging glare.
"Um…," Fred's small voice seemed to echo in the quiet room. "I'm not entirely sure that Dawn's blood was altered." The others looked at her. "Well, after you all arrived, she asked me to check something for her. She hadn't taken on any of the Slayer qualities after the original spell, and she didn't understand why not. And before you jump to all sorts of parental conclusions, Buffy, that's the first question I asked her. No boys. So I ran some tests and discovered that for some reason the transformation that had taken place in all of the SITs that had changed, had not taken place in Dawn. We hadn't figured out why yet, though so…."
Giles interrupted, "So her blood may still open the portal for Magus?"
"I was going to say, 'so we didn't want to worry you'. Especially since the spell was reversed and her lack of strength wouldn't be evident anymore. But, yes, Giles, I believe that her blood may have the same power it always did."
"Well, that buys us some time, but we have to find them, and soon. Angel, have you noticed any people wandering aimlessly throughout L.A. of late?" Giles was referring to the people that had fallen under Glory's mind-sucking spell, those who had appeared insane, but who had been forced into servitude. If this god was doing the same thing they might track some unfortunate soul directly back to his lair, as they had followed Tara before.
"Watcher, this is L.A.. I'm afraid I wouldn't have noticed."
Buffy spoke up, "Giles, we have enough people, we could spare a couple to stake out some local hospitals, just in case. It's worth a shot. We know this will be happening soon."
"Yes, that's probably an excellent precaution. We'll also set up a search grid. They can't be far if they were able to attack us twice in the same night. Angel, do you have a city map?"
For the next hour they lay out a pattern for searching the neighborhoods surrounding the Hyperion and established teams consisting of a mix of human, demon and ex-slayer. When they were done, Buffy led the first team out into the city.
#####
Buffy's morning shift hadn't been able to unearth any sign of the god, Dawn, the Crown, hobbit-like minions or followers. Batting 1000, they returned to the Hyperion, at noon, having exhausted nearly a third of the search grid.
David followed Buffy into the hotel lobby in a fury and threw the sword he had carried across the room where it skidded to an ineffectual stop. "Bloody hell, this bleedin' city goes on forever. There's got to be a better way."
Giles, who was there to meet them, thought he understood the young man's rage. "It's often a tedious process…," but David had stormed off into another room, still muttering to himself.
Buffy had a headache for the same reason that David had thrown the sword, she was frustrated. "Giles, please don't be logical. We failed." When her Watcher began to shake his head she continued, "But we'll keep trying." Buffy slumped down on one of the sofas meant to welcome visitors and rubbed her temples. "We have no choice," she said, half to herself.
Giles and the others left the room, leaving her to her frustration. Several minutes later, Buffy heard footsteps. She didn't open her eyes, just waited.
"Sorry I blew up like that, luv."
She recognized the voice immediately. It was Spike's, but with a slightly contemporary twist, even a little more English sounding. "It's alright, David. We're all tired and upset."
"I had no right…she's your little sis after all. S'just…." Buffy waited. "S'just that I wanted to prove myself to you. Even a little …"
"To me? Why?"
"Cuz, luv, you're Buffy. All I've heard, seen, read, researched…lived for the last two years has been centered around Sunnydale, Buffy Summers, Dawn, Spike and their adventures. In my imagination I was here a million times to save the day, play the hero. And now that I'm really here, I…I can't seem t' do anythin'. Even Andrew holds himself better than me. I'm just a messenger boy, another liability."
Buffy opened her eyes and looked intently at David. "Playing the hero can get you killed."
David instantly realized that he'd said just the wrong thing. And raised his hands defensively in an achingly familiar gesture. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry about that too."
They sat in silence for a few minutes and then David spoke, hesitatingly "Tell me about 'im. Please?" Buffy's closed eyes winced with pain. "If it's not too much, I mean." He added gently.
"Actually, I'd like to," Buffy sighed. "I need to hold on to the memories and everyone else here would rather forget them, forget him." Buffy hesitated, drawing on the past. "I first saw Spike a few days before parent teacher night at Sunnydale High School the year I was a junior, in fact that was the first time he met my mom too…." She went on telling Alan her memories, for nearly two hours. They laughed and she cried. It turned out that David, like Spike, was an excellent listener, asking pointed questions and steering her to remember details she had already begun to forget. When she'd finished, she lay back in the chair and sighed. She felt as though a great tombstone had been lifted from her heart.
"'S amazing story, pet." He thought of telling her how alien her reality was from most of the world, how he ached to be a part of it. But knew that she was in pain and that now wasn't the time. "I fancy m'self a writer of sorts back home. Guess it runs in the family. I'd like to put it all down on paper later, if you'd let me. Kind of pick up where great-grandmum left off."
Buffy thought about it. The idea of Spike's story surviving her own made her smile. "No one will ever believe you, you know. But I'd like that, David." She stood up slowly. "I'm tired now though, and I think I ought to get some sleep before we go out again."
"Course. 'S thinkin' the same thing m'self. I'll walk with ya."
When they reached Buffy's door, David paused. "I'll see you in a bit, then."
"Yep. In a bit," and she turned to go in her room.
"Buffy?" Something within David's voice stopped her. "Thanks again for tellin' me 'bout him."
Buffy smiled sadly, "Spike never stopped trying to be the best man he could be. That deserves to be remembered, don't you think?"
Without thinking of anything other than how much this woman in front of him had been hurt, and how strong she'd been and how deeply she'd loved, David leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. "'Night, luv" he said and walked away.
But Buffy was reeling. She blinked back the tears and slipped into her room. She couldn't think. She couldn't stop thinking. Dawn, Spike, Sunnydale, Angel, Cordy, David, her mom, Druscilla, Magus, Doc…images and ghosts swirled endlessly through her mind. She fell on her bed and began to dream.
#####
As the day progressed, other teams returned with similar tales of failure. Giles sat at the kitchen table with Willow and David. They were playing war games, running scenarios, making contingency plans, things with which Buffy had little patience.
"Well, it seems that Magus has everything he wanted, Dawn's blood, the crown…. There's no reason he should wait any longer unless a time frame is dictated by the ritual as it was with Glory."
"I've run the Glory timeline over and over again on my computer and nothing seems similar to now," Willow announced. "The alignments of the stars and planets are completely different, the longitude and latitude of L.A. versus Sunnydale have skewed the directional effect of sunlight and moonlight. The dates are all wrong."
Giles suggested, "There must be something we haven't seen, some other factor in the timeline. Have you adjusted for the change in location, altitude, size difference between Magus and Glory?"
"Yes, Giles, of course, I compensated for all of that…it just doesn't make sense."
The Watcher removed his glasses and rubbed them idly as he thought. "Let's come at this from another angle. If you could choose the time of the portal opening, any time you wanted, what would you use as determining factors?"
Willow considered the question, "Well, besides the astrological portends here, I guess I'd have to determine those same factors within the reciprocal universe. Maybe there are elements within that universe that need to be collected and utilized too. Perhaps the planting seasons…."
"Bloody hell," David stood suddenly, frustrated. "Does all of this matter? Buffy's little sis is in danger. We ought to be findin' her. Can't you do some kind of locator spell, Red?"
"Not on Dawn. I've tried. She is neither demon nor human. And, before you ask, I can't do a spell on Magus for the same reason."
"How about a girl?" Fred stepped into the room with Gunn and the remaining potentials. They had been out together on the most recent search team.
"What do you mean?" Giles asked her.
Gunn spoke for the group, "We saw him, the big guy, Magus. He was prowling about on the East side, him and his wolf. We kept our distance, hoping he would lead us to Dawn, but he was out hunting instead. We saw him capture a girl."
"And you did bleedin' little to stop it, I see."
"We couldn't," Faith explained angrily. "We were too far away."
"But he wasn't going to kill her like he did the others. When we left she was bound and thrown over his shoulder like a sack," Gunn continued.
"We followed him as long as we dared, but he began to travel the sewers and we thought we'd be discovered down there so we returned to where he had taken the girl and found this." Fred produced a hat from her pocket. It was a small knitted hat made up of rings of color.
Willow stepped forward with a smile and took the cap from Fred's hands. "We've got him."
#####
Faith closed the door after them. She didn't turn around, but remained where she was, her head lay heavily on the back of the door. She was more than tired. And she had never felt more vulnerable.
"Faith?" Robin asked. He hadn't known her long, but knew her well enough to know that something was on her mind. And they had survived an apocalypse together, after all. With a gasp, as though she had forgotten to breathe, Faith lifted her forehead from the cold wood of the door and stood upright. "Hon, you okay?" Robin questioned, more concerned now.
"Yeah," Faith answered at last. "You bet. Never better," she turned to flash one of her best false smiles in his direction and tried to take on a Faith-typical stance of indifference.
Robin's teacher instincts kicked in. He knew she was hiding something. "No, really. What's up? We can't be hiding things from each other. This thing between us is bigger than that. At least, I hope it is"
Glad for the chance to change the direction of the conversation, Faith swaggered forward and purred. She draped her arms over his shoulders sensually one at a time, watching as they took on the shape of his body.
Robin wanted to be fooled, but he wasn't. He gently lowered her arms and asked again, "Baby, come on. Let's talk. I know you've got something besides me on your mind. What is it?" Faith started to pout and sulked away, flinging herself casually into a convenient chair. Robin followed her and knelt in front of her, waiting for her answer.
Eventually his silence paid off. "It's just…I…," Faith stumbled for words. She had never been good at 'people'. She saw, she did, she was. She had never wondered, considered or thought about complex issues like motives or consequences until recently, until a jail stint gave her nothing else to do. Now, with the onset of new dangers, the realization of what Buffy had been through as Slayer, and the loss of her own Slayer powers, Faith was forcing herself to evaluate what she had been and what she was becoming.
She looked into Robin's gentle eyes. He too was full of doubt. He had faced his biggest enemy and discovered that demons, both external and internal, could change for the better. He was on new ground too and they had clung to each other like fragile survivors of an earthquake. "I don't know who I am anymore," Faith began, more slowly now. "I mean, when I was a Slayer, things were all so clear. Bad guys? Kill 'em. Then the mayor, well, he was evil and he turned my head all around. He taught me that things could be different and it was…kinda cool. Ya know? The father I never had. Okay, evil father, but cool. I went to the dark side for a while, until Angel saved me. He dragged me back from the edge and reminded me what it was to have purpose, to have a soul."
Faith stopped and realized that Robin wasn't bored, angry, or anything other than riveted by what she said. She raised a tired finger and traced the outline of his attentive face wistfully before letting her hand fall again. "But I don't know. Who am I? I think I'm all about doing good now. The dark side was cool, but I'll never go back. Still…my power, my Slayer power's been taken away and I can't be what I feel I was meant to be without it." A stray tear made it's way down her cheek.
Robin face softened and took her small hands in his. "Growing up the son of a Slayer, I became obsessed by the mystery of being chosen, by destiny. I started out trying to prove that my mother had had no choice, that her fate had been thrust upon her by some accident of birth. Now, though, I believe that within every man, or a woman there is a vocation, a calling, but most people don't hear their call and they live their lives out unfulfilled, empty. Others turn a deaf ear and ignore their fate, electing instead to live a life of their own choosing, like me. Maybe my calling was to be a teacher, but I chose to make it revenge instead. We deaf ones grow angry and bitter with age."
Faith shook her head in disbelief that Robin could be either of those things, but he continued. "The lucky ones, like my mom, like you, hon, like Buffy, like Angel, like Giles and Wesley, not only hear the call and recognize it for what it is, but you embrace it because to live without it, to live unfulfilled or bitter, would be a sentence worse than death. Those lives are the legendary ones, the lives of Slayers, kings, explorers. What you're feeling, Faith, is your calling reminding you of who you are, of your destiny."
Faith was overcome. No man had ever talked like this to her before. Men had trained her, directed her, used her, abused her, saved her, but never considered her or tried to understand the woman beneath the bravado. Had she been honest, it had probably been a two way street. But things were obviously different with Robin. Slowly she realized that here was a man whom she could allow herself to feel for, open up to, to love. He was kneeling before her and saying, "I hope that there's some place in your legend for me."
Leaning forward in the chair, she stared at Robin for a full minute before she kissed him.
#####
Kissing. Oh, God. Good kissing. Buffy couldn't breathe. Her eyes were closed and there were lips and there were hands and bodies and…oh, the kissing. Suddenly it stopped and she whimpered longingly. "Luv, even if I don't, you've gotta breathe." Her eyelids slid open and met smiling blue eyes, which dipped sensuously as he lowered his lips to her shoulder. Her body was screaming with need and desire, mixed with desperation and infinite loss.
"Spike?" she managed to murmur hazily.
Raising his eyes to hers once more, he answered, "'s me, pet."
"Missed you," her bedroom voice moaned.
"Missed you too," he whispered before starting to kiss her again and they made love, slowly, a love more tender than ever before. This was less desperate than the night before he…before the last battle, not angry like it had been at times, not violent or selfish, it was what she had always meant it to be, or hoped it could have been.
In the aftermath, she lay cupped onto his shoulder, content and feeling fulfilled.
"Buffy?"
"Mmmm," she voiced wearily and warily.
"This is it, you know. My last conjugal visit. The time we've had was a gift. Can't ask for more."
A tear wound it's way lazily from the corner of her eye and she nodded. She knew.
"I wanted so much to be a part of your life. Do you know I even pictured you and me and Dawn in a little house with a white picket fence and…well, really heavy curtains…."
"If you wanted it so much, then I must have been the one that stopped it. I must have known deep down that there was something between us, Spike, because I don't treat monsters like men. If I were being honest, I rarely treated men like men. But you, I treated you like a man because that's what you were to me. Somehow all that got lost somewhere. I'm sorry."
"Well, there was that little trip to heaven that you took. Seems like we got sidetracked after that."
"Spike, can we do this right," Buffy tried to smile, "Just one time before you have to leave? I'll start."
He knew what was coming, and although he was only a spirit, Spike winced with loss, then he nodded his assent.
"Spike," Buffy said carefully, making sure he heard her every word, "I love you."
Knowing his next chance to say this to her might well be decades away, Spike took Buffy's face into his hands and looked at her as he had few times before. "Buffy, I love you too."
Buffy couldn't breathe for the passion that swept over them. After a moment she began, "I wish we could've…."
"Yeah, me too. Me too, luv," the ex-vampire answered.
They lay like that, daydreaming of what might have been, not saying anything while dream time passed; time that seemed like years, or minutes, but they were together and it didn't matter a damn. Nothing mattered. They were together.
Eventually Spike gently lifted his arm out from under her head. He leaned over her and kissed her softly, timelessly on the cheek. He looked into her beautiful hazel eyes and hated what he had to say next. "Time for me t'go, pet."
She couldn't speak. Life was happening around her, things she couldn't change, couldn't kill, couldn't influence. It was like having her mom die all over again. Helplessness was not in the Slayer handbook, even if she'd ever gotten one. Spike knew she'd heard only because Buffy's body shook with emotion.
"Listen, Slayer," Spike began with more bravado than he thought possible, "You're the lucky one here. I've got to go and face the unknown and be judged for my past. You've got a clean slate, no Slayer powers, no Hellmouth…. You and Niblet, you're an ordinary family now, you'll be just fine."
"Dawn?" Buffy felt a pang of guilt that she hadn't given her missing sister a thought. "Oh my God, Spike, she's…."
"I know, she's in trouble. But you'll work this one out like ya always do. I believe in you."
Buffy found herself calmed by his confidence and her momentary fear for Dawn vanished. A dream minute later, another thought occurred to her, "Will you be there? In heaven?" Buffy's voice sounded small and childlike. Spike looked at her with doubt. "You will be waiting for me when I go back, won't you?"
Equivocating Spike began, "Well, it's not entirely up to me, luv…," but when Buffy looked up at him with alarm, he finished with conviction. He could give her that. "Uh huh, now, none o' that. All right, pet, I'll be wearin' a path behind the ol' Pearly Gates, waitin' for you. I'll take on a whole legion of angels if I have to."
Buffy smiled, despite herself and ran a finger under her nose. "I think I'd pay to see that fight."
Spike's heart twitched thinking of all the fights they'd shared and how he was going to miss them. "And I'll win it too, luv, cuz I want it more. Hell, even the angels know you can't measure your enemies by their size, it's the size of their ambition that matters." Buffy nodded. "'And like I told you in my letter, I've got a trump card. God hisself couldn't keep me out with you on my side."
Buffy threw her arms around him held him tight, willing him to stay, but knowing he couldn't. Spike reveled in the unbridled emotion for as long as he could, then gently stepped away. "So, no goodbyes then, cuz we'll be together again soon, right?" Spike ventured. "But you'll have to give me enough time to plead my case. Stay here 'til it's time." Buffy tried to collect herself and smiling bravely, she nodded again.
Spike kissed her one last time, then looking at her with more emotion than any living being could have contained, he made one last sacrifice. "Don't be lonely, Buffy. Please? I'll wait for you, and the next time we say 'I love you' it'll be forever, I promise. But listen, my time is different now, there's no 'later' or 'then' here, so I can wait. But you, pet, promise me you'll find that someone that can make you sparkle until we see each other again? I couldn't bear it if you weren't happy." Buffy began to argue but Spike stopped her.
"You might not need to look very far." With a roguish grin, he added, "That David's a good lookin' fella. Don't you think?"
"Spike!" Buffy started to protest but there was a knock on her door.
"Buffy? Are you up yet?"
Her eyes flew open and she gasped for breath alone in her room. Quickly she donned her bathrobe and, clutching it around her, she opened the door a crack. "David?"
"Rupert wants t' see you before we head out," he related. "But, can I come in for a bit first?"
"Well, I need to get…" David pushed open the door and walked into the room. "Sure, okay, come in." Buffy left the door open and turned toward her intruder. Maybe pissing her off was just in his blood. The thought cheered her eerily.
David turned to face her and Buffy fought the disorientation his presence, overlapping on Spike's last visit, brought on her. She wiped her eyes with the back of her free hand and sat on the side of the bed trying to gather her thoughts as David began to pace in the small room.
"I wanted to apologize, Buffy. Kissin' you earlier was bold of me. 'S just…well, everything you felt for my uncle, everything you were to each other…. I just got carried away. 'T wasn't meant to be…anything other than…. Bloody hell."
"David," Buffy found her voice. "David. Pacing. You're making me dizzy." The young man stopped in his tracks. "Now," she sighed, "the kiss was nice. It made me feel…special. It was friendly, nothing more. I get it."
Relief and a surprising amount of disappointment washed over David, but he wasn't going to let her know that. "Exactly," he confirmed.
Buffy raised her eyes to his and the corners of her mouth turned up sadly. "The more I get to know you, the less like your uncle you seem."
Caught off guard, David objected, "What do you mean?"
"If I had said that little speech to him, about the kiss, he'd have kissed me again to prove me wrong. He was stubborn."
David smiled, because in letting her accept their first kiss as just friendly, the same thought had occurred to him. "Well, then, as long as you understand. I meant no offence."
"None taken."
"Okay," David made his way to the door and hesitated. Was he starting to feel something for this woman? But now was not the time. "Right, then. I'll get the rest and we'll wait in the lobby. 'S a go in 20 minutes." Buffy nodded in understanding. "Oh, and Buffy?" She looked up to see him smiling the same roguish grin she had just seen on her lover. "If I ever do kiss you in anything other than a friendly way? I won't have to do anything to prove it to you, you'll know."
Buffy's heart pounded uncontrollably as she dressed. How was a girl to find her footing when the ground kept shifting?