Chapter two: Hermione's Story

This chapter is dedicated to my lovely Beata Reader, AussieGleekFreak91. She is wonderful. Without her, I wouldn't have chapter 2 :)

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The lesson dragged on for the hour. I loved Transfiguration, it was true. But I'd already mastered the tasks set and there wasn't much left to do. When the bell rang at the end of the lesson, the whole class, minus myself, stood up and left the class room.

"I think it would be best if we went to my office Miss Granger. It will be quieter. Mr Malfoy, you may wait outside my office." Professor McGonagall said as she stood from her desk. She was a very elegant woman, kind but with a terrible temper.

I followed her out of the room, Malfoy walked next to me. We were silent for a while before he spoke.

"What do you have to see Professor McGonagall about?" He asked, his hands were behind his back and, because he had to look down to see me properly, his blond hair was hanging in his face. He looked quite handsome.

"Just school work, Head Girl thing. You?" I lied. He was there when it happened, I know he saw the torture but how much after that I have no idea. The idea that he knows and he saw was enough to make me shy away from him forever. We weren't close friends, civil was the word, we didn't hate each other but I felt, after knowing what he'd seen, we could never be close.

"Just talking to her about a student I'm concerned for" he told me. I didn't ask who, it was probably just one of his little friends that didn't understand that he didn't believe all the Pure blood garbage anymore.

We reached the office, Malfoy waited outside and Professor McGonagall held the door opened for me. I entered her office, the one that she used to own before being made Headmistress. It wasn't small but it wasn't overly large either. I remember sitting here at the beginning of my third year when she had given me my Time-Turner. I sat in a seat opposite her desk, I noticed there were two cups waiting there, probably waiting to be filled with a steaming cup of hot coco and a box of tissues. Cleaver, Professor. I thought.

"Miss Granger, you know why you are here. I don't wish to rush you into anything, do please taje your time. I'm very worried about you, Hermione. We haven't been back that long but I've seen you so often since we have, what with the Head's meetings and Transfiguration classes and yet I never noticed something was wrong until I found you… " she trailed off. Apparently unable to find something to say,

"Covered in my own blood and crying my eyes out in the middle of an empty class room?" I offered.

"I wasn't going to put it that way, but yes, that is the general idea." She looked calm, a lot calmer than she had on the night she found me.

"I hadn't meant for you to find me, Professor" I told her. I was looking at my hands, sitting in my lap. My palms were sweaty because I knew what she was going to ask me, and I didn't want to answer it. Sure I trusted her but once she asked a question, it was hard to worm your way out of it and I wasn't a good liar.

"But why, you could have died"

"That was the general idea …" I trailed of. At that time, I had wanted it to end. I didn't want to look at George and see Fred when I knew he wouldn't really be there. I didn't want to walk into the potions class room and think about the man I used to hate, but turned out to be so brave, I didn't want to go to breakfast and see my friends' dead bodies lying on the floor, I didn't want to sleep and hear her voice in my head, her screaming and her laughing as my whole world fell apart, I didn't want to see his eyes, staring into mine every time I closed my eyes! I didn't want to replay that night over and over in my head, to wake up shaking with cold sweat and tears running down my face.

"Why, Hermione? You've got such great friends, a wonderful boyfriend, albeit a little silly, your exceptionally smart and pretty. Why?" She asked me. She looked sad, her head was resting on her folded hands. I sighed, there wasn't much else I could do now, but to tell her. I rolled up my sleeve to reveal the scars, she was trying hard to not let her sadness show on her face, but she wasn't doing too well.

"When we were taken to Malfoy Manor, Bellatrix Lestrange had wanted to speak to me and me alone. She left the others in the room of course, Draco and his mother and father, Fenier Greyback and another wizard I didn't and still don't know. But he scared me. When he first found us, he looked at me as though I was a piece of juicy meat that he would love to sink his teeth into. He got his chance later on. She asked me questions to begin with, I answered them truthfully, she didn't like the answers I gave. She used the cruciates curse on me for several minutes before continuing the questions. I could have dealt with that, I was used to pain but she kept doing it. I was on the floor, screaming. I could hear Ron and Harry screaming, asking for her to stop, but that made it worse and I had no way of telling them to stop. She asked me how a filthy, pathetic, disgusting Mudblood had ever managed to outsmart a witch to steal her power and wand; I begged her to believe that I was born with magic, but she called me a liar, grabbed her wand and held it like a pen. She dug it in to my arm and wrote Mudblood with it." I was crying my eyes out now, McGonagall handed me a tissue that I took. I was shaking, holding my arms folded across my chest, but I continued the story.

"I remember her calling for someone, I can't remember the name. It was him, the other man that I didn't trust, he came towards me with a look on his face like he'd been given all his Christmas's at once, I heard someone say 'No' and the next thing I knew, he … he" I burst into uncontrollable tears. I didn't need to tell her what he'd done; she could work it out for herself. I was shaking so bad and I was pressing my arm too tight against my chest, it was hurting and I was reminded of the night I'd tried to end it.

"Every time I close my eyes, I see his eyes boring into me, I hear her voice in the back of my head, I replay everything that happened in my dreams, I can hear their voices laughing at me. Add to that the Mudblood scar, I'm worried about my NEWTS, the guy who did this to me has never been caught, I don't love my boyfriend in a relationship way but I don't want to hurt him, I can't walk into the Great Hall without seeing half of my friends dead, I don't know where my parents are, Head Girl duties and Ron and Harry always needing me to help them with something whether it be homework or getting out of trouble and I couldn't even sit in the same room as them by myself without having a minor breakdown. I was in over my head, I was tired, scared, hurt … I didn't want it anymore, Professor, I wanted to die." I told her. She had tears in her eyes, she was the first person I'd told, the only one I had trusted enough to know.

"Hermione, I'm truly very sorry. Over the years, you have become one of my favorite students. I always thought of you as family, I never thought for a million years that this would ever happen to you. But I know someone who can help" She stood up, walked to the door and opened it. I heard her whisper a few words and beckon someone inside. Malfoy. I stood up, shaking my head.

"No." I said. I didn't need him, as good a friend as he was, seeing me breakdown and cry, he wasn't meant to know that I'd tried to kill myself.

"No? I don't understand" Professor McGonagall said.

'Granger, you need someone to trust, to talk to" He walked forwards and placed a hand on my shoulder. I snapped. I pulled back faster than I'd ever done and ran from the room, tears pouring down my face.

I'd never felt so exposed.

I stopped running after a while. I didn't know where I was at first. My mind was still rushing. I'd trusted her and she'd told Malfoy.

Yes, Malfoy and I were friends.
No, I didn't need nor want him to know I'd attempted suicide.

I was standing outside the Common Room. The Fat Lady was just staring at me, with my flushed cheeks and tear stained face she must of thought something was up. I gave her the password, vaguely remembering doing it. There was, surprisingly, no one in the common room except Ron and Harry and some boy I didn't know. Fuck.

They hadn't noticed me yet, so I walked as quietly as I could. I managed to get past them and up to my dorm. There was no one there. I threw myself down on my bed and cried myself to sleep.