Hello dears! thank you so much for all the feedback so far! It really means a lot to me. This chapter is a bit shorter thank usually but I'm trying to give you guys as much background as possible.
December 17th,1996
Someone was shaking her. She tried to open her eyes but the light was blinding.
"Jackie, wake up,"
Jackie groaned, still not completely sure who was waking her up. She was able to open up one eye and saw Donna, standing over her.
"Hey, Jackie, I have to be at the studio soon but wanted to check on you. What time do you have to be at work?" Donna asked.
Jackie opened both eyes and looked at the clock on her end table.
"Crap, in ten minutes." She sat fully up then.
"Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I would've came in here earlier but I woke up late."
Jackie shook her head, pushing her covers off and swinging her legs over the side of her bed.
"No it's not your fault, I forgot to set my alarm." She stood up and stretched, walking towards the bathroom.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Go to the studio, it's okay," Jackie told her, standing in the doorway of her bathroom.
"Alright, well I'm gonna go, but if you need anything, call me." Donna said, slowly moving towards the door.
Jackie nodded, "see you later."
Jackie cleaned herself up quickly, not bothering with a shower and putting on only mascara.
She put on her straight jeans from yesterday, and started to look through her clothes.
Unfortunately, she hadn't updated her wardrobe here in six years. The only clothes she had in the apartment were pre-pregnancy and maternity clothes, both of which wouldn't work.
She looked over at her pile of clothes from the day before and sighed. It would only be her and Jonathan and maybe the desk assistant in the office today. She put the Led Zeppelin shirt back on and walked out of her room. She could always go home after work— or just buy new clothes.
Considering how late she was, she took a cab to work. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Steven's cell phone.
"Hello?" A high pitched voice answered.
"Hey— Kitty?"
"Oh hello Jackie! Oh my dear we sure do miss you. I wish you were able to get out of work."
"Me too," was Kitty going to greet her like this every time she called? "Kitty, is Steven there?"
"Oh he's outside right now helping shovel snow. But the twins are here, I was just giving them breakfast. Do you want to talk to them?"
"Yes," Jackie said quickly. Steven hadn't said anything about the kids last night and she was already missing them.
"Hello?" It was Carrie. Her voice sounded even tinier on the phone.
"Hi Honey! It's mommy! How is everything?"
"It's good. Grandma made us pancakes!"
"Yeah and they had chocolate chips!" Connor joined in.
"Oh wow, that's great! Do you have me on speaker phone?"
"No, how do you do that?" Carrie asked.
"Click the button in the top left hand corner baby." Jackie heard her fumble a bit before hitting the button.
"Mommy?" Carrie called out.
"Hi, can you guys hear me?"
"Yes mommy!" Connor answered.
"Good. How was the flight to Grandma's?"
"So cool! They played a movie on the plane and daddy bought us McDonald's at the airport." Carrie explained. Jackie giggled.
"Wow, that is cool! What are you guys gonna do today?"
"After breakfast Grandma said we can watch a movie until Tommy wakes up and then we can all go play in the snow—oh yeah mommy there's snow here!"
"Wow really?! That must be beautiful," Jackie leaned her head against the window of the cab.
"It is! Mommy we wanna start the movie now," Carrie said.
"Okay baby, tell daddy I called his phone. I love you two so much."
"Love you too mommy!" They both said out of sync. Jackie heard the phone click off before she could say anything else.
It was nine forty-five when she finally got to the office. Jonathan was there already of course, dressed nicely despite it only being the two of them.
"Hey," she greeted him as she briskly walked over to her desk.
"Hey—whoa, uh, hi," he said, scanning her over. She let out a big sigh and sat down at her desk. She clicked the power buttons on the computer modem and monitor.
"You know Jac, I don't think I've ever seen you wear the same thing twice, much less two days in a row," He was leaning back in his chair, looking at her with a stupid grin.
She rolled her eyes, not looking up, "it was a rough night."
"What happened?"
"I stayed in the old apartment." The computer screen began to glow. Jackie refused to look at Jonathan.
"You stayed in your apartment? I thought you got rid of that when you moved out to the 'burbs."
Jackie shook her head, typing in her AOL login in. "Have you found anything different today?"
Jonathan sighed, "not really. The trial starts at eleven, do you wanna go down to the courthouse or should I?" Jackie laughed.
"Are you kidding?" She looked over at Jonathan finally, he was grinning.
"I really wanted to know if you'd bring this side of the Jackie Burkhart out to world." He said, still smugly smiling. She crumpled up an old post-it note that was on her desk and tossed it at him. He laughed, dodging it.
Jackie met Jonathan her first semester freshman year.
She'd purposely chosen an inconspicuous spot in the lecture hall, on the right side facing the board, four rows in. The first day of a lecture she liked to scope out the room before she put herself out there for the rest of the semester.
This was the class she'd been waiting for— Broadcast Journalism 1001.
Jonathan was sitting behind her. The professor wasn't there yet, besides the fact that the assigned start time was in two minutes.
He'd kicked the back of her chair three times before she turned around.
"Excuse me? Will you keep your feet to yourself?" She said, giving him a death glare. He was smirking, leaning back in his seat.
"You were on TV already," he said simply.
"What do you mean?"
"Wake Up Wisconsin, you were on that show." He sat up and leaned over the desk still smiling, "my Grandparents are from Kenosha. I saw you on there over the summer while I was there."
"Cool," she replied casually. She didn't really expect to be recognized in New York, and she wanted to play it cool for the time being.
"I thought you were fantastic, more authentic than that old bag they had before." He said, the grin never left his face.
"Thanks," she put on her best fake smile. She wasn't sure what his angle was.
He was about to say something else when the professor walked in.
She felt his eyes on her the whole lecture.
That night at a party on campus, Donna formally introduced her to Jonathan.
"Hey Jackie, this is John—" Donna started, she had brought Jonathan over to Jackie, who had just finished talking to other girls from their hall.
"Wake Up Wisconsin!" Jonathan interrupted, shouted over the music. Donna laughed.
"Yes, we've met. Journalism 1001, he kicked my seat with his gross feet." Jackie shouted in Donna's direction. Jonathan laughed.
And that was it. The three of them hung out the rest of the night, then Jackie and Jonathan had several classes together, so they became closer.
It was always easy with Jonathan. Jackie couldn't put her finger on it. Maybe it was because they were so alike. Jonathan obviously had just as big of an ego as Jackie. He cared about fashion trends just as much as she did. But their best asset as a team was just how good they were together. They wrote together for the NYU newspaper, the Washington Square News. Their pieces always grabbed attention from the student body. In fact, they were so good, they were given their own column together their freshman year, which almost never happened.
"What do you want from the wrap shop?" Jonathan asked her. He was standing up at his desk, his coat open while he wrapped a scarf around his neck.
"We have no idea what time you're gonna get out. I'm not waiting for you beyond one-thirty." She replied.
"Fine. But if by some miracle they let out for lunch, turkey wrap and gingerbread latte?"
"Of course."
"Alright. Hopefully I'll see you soon." He walked towards the door.
"Good luck out there."
"Maybe if I'm lucky the guy will stab me and end my misery." Jonathan said, all while smiling.
"That would be a real Christmas miracle." Jackie said.
Jonathan laughed as he walked out of the door of their office.
Jonathan never came back. Court gave a short recess and then stayed in session for the rest of the day. Jackie handled updates on the case from the home front.
She got home at seven, which was a rarity lately.
Donna had just got home too. She was sitting at the kitchen table when Jackie got in. A bag of Chinese takeout was sat next to Donna as she talked on one of the wireless house phones.
"Hold on a sec," Donna said as Jackie came in. She covered the receiver of the phone with her hand. "Hey, I picked up Chinese food on the way home," she hesitated, "and I'm on the phone with Eric right now."
"Oh, tell him I say hi," Jackie said casually, sitting down at the table.
Donna uncovered the receiver, "Hey, sorry. Jackie just came home. She says hi."
A pause before she looks back at Jackie, "he says hi and sorry that Hyde's being an ass." Jackie shook her head.
"It's not your fault," she said loudly. Donna's face scrunched up.
"Okay, if you guys wanna talk call each other. I'm not dealing with screaming."
Jackie apologized and opened up the take out bag. She pulled out a take-out box.
"Yes, okay. Call me tomorrow. I love you and tell the kids I love them," Donna said into the phone. "Alright, bye." She hung up.
"How's it going over there?" Jackie asked, taking a bite of her lo mein.
"Fine. Kitty and Red are fine. The kids seem happy. Your husband is acting fine towards all of them but apparently won't spill any beans to Eric." Donna informed her.
"Huh. I called his cell this morning and Kitty picked up,"
"Really?"
Jackie nodded. "Yes. She said he was shoveling snow. So I talked to the kids, they don't think anything is wrong thank God."
Donna just nodded and pulled out her food. "Don't mean to pry but why are you wearing the same shirt you wore yesterday?"
Jackie looked down at her shirt and then back at Donna, "I don't fit into anything here. Everything is either pre-pregnancy or maternity clothes." Donna giggled.
"Did you try them?"
"No I didn't want to be faced with the shame of them not fitting. Why kick myself when I'm already down?" Jackie was giggling too.
"I dare you to wear the maternity clothes to work tomorrow." Donna smirked.
"Absolutely not Donna!" They both laughed.
Jackie showered after dinner. She braved putting on a pair of underwear from one of the drawers (they fit) and then realized she could raid Steven's old clothes here. So she did, using one of his old t-shirts as pajamas.
She was in bed by nine-thirty, another rarity. She decided to try Steven's cell phone again. She picked up her pink landline and punched in his number.
"We're sorry, the person at this number isn't available right now." Ugh. She hung up and dialed the Formans' house phone.
"Hey there, hi there, Forman's residence," Jackie felt like her eyes were gonna pop out of her head. What the fuck?
"Um, hello, who is this?"
"Jackie, is that you? It's me! Bob Pinciotti!" What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck?!
"Bob?" Is all she could get out.
"Yeah, Bob! Donna's Dad! Oh, don't tell me you already forgot about us little people in Wisconsin already! How's the big city so far?"
No, of course Jackie didn't forget her surrogate father. She also didn't forget attending his funeral last year.
"Oh, um. It's great," it came out more as a question rather than an answer. What the fuck was going on? Were the kids pulling a weird, really insensitive prank or something?
"Oh geez that's great! Donna was telling me just yesterday how great everything is there. Are your classes going well?" Classes? What? Jackie felt like her head was spinning. How in the world could she be talking to a dead person right now?
"Oh—uh—everything's fine. Is Mrs. Forman there? Or Steven?"
"Oh Kitty's out at the grocery store, but Steven's downstairs. I'll go get him," before Jackie could say anything, Bob had put the phone down. She waited. She felt like she could be going insane. She was talking to dead people on the phone now? This is worse than seeing dead people, probably.
"Hello?" Steven answered after a few minutes.
"Steven? It's me." She heard "Bob" hang up the phone. Steven must've answered from his room.
"Jackie," he sighed. She couldn't tell if it was out of relief or stress.
"Steven—I'm sorry about last night. And the other day."
"The other day?"
"Yeah, about leaving." She reminded him, resisting the urge to ask him the date or who the president was.
"Oh," he paused. "Why are you apologizing for last night?"
"I feel like I'm making it worse—"
"Jackie, stop. Believe it or not, you apologizing for nothing isn't going to help." He said. She stopped, unsure of what to say.
It was a beat before he continued, "Do you remember that night at your house, a few weeks before you left for Chicago?" His voice was soft and quiet.
God, that was years ago now. But she remembers, she knows what he's talking about. "Yes, I do." Her voice was just as soft.
Her mother was away that night, as per usual. He stayed the night. They'd only got back together for the second time two weeks before.
She woke up in the middle of the night to him lazily playing with her hair. His arm was wrapped around her, his fingers in her hair.
"Hi," she said, looking up at him. Her voice was a little groggy, it made him smile.
"Hey," he was twisting a strand between his two fingers.
She rested her hand on the flat of his bare chest. "What's wrong?"
He shrugged and shook his head, "nothing, I just can't sleep."
"Is something bothering you?" She asked.
He just shrugged, wrapping the strand of her hair around his finger. He let it go and restarted.
"Steven, talk to me."
He sighed, staying quiet as he continued to play with her hair. She stayed quiet too, knowing she needed to give him time to open up.
She her eyes were starting to drift closed again when he said very quietly, "I think you're it for me, doll." She opened her eyes but didn't say anything.
"I've never felt anything like this before, and I don't think I ever will." He continued. She pulled herself up and kissed him, knowing any words she'd say would scare him.
—
"I meant it," he said to her now on the phone.
Jackie rarely felt speechless, she always had something to say about most things, but she wasn't sure what to say now.
Because now she was sure this wasn't her Steven. Her Steven had made vows and promises to her. He wouldn't need to bring something like this up to prove how he felt.
"You know I've always felt like that way about you, Steven." She decided to say.
Was she supposed to be encouraging him about their relationship? Why was this happening? She had to be dreaming, or clinically insane to believe that she's on the phone with the past.
"Yeah, I think I took that for granted. I think I always thought you'd be there waiting for me. But now you're in New York,"
"Steven, I love you. But I couldn't wait around forever, I had to get on with my life." She said. She needed to tell him what past her was feeling. If this was really happening, then this Steven had so much to learn.
" I know. God, that's something I love about you."
Wow. That was something old Steven never admitted during a time of separation. What was changing?
"What is?" She asked, playing dumb. If he was willing to be open, she could really use some affection from him right now; even if it was past him.
"That you're not gonna wait around for some moron like me to get what you want. You're your own person."
"Steven"
"What?"
"I love you."
"Ditto." He said. She laughed.
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