AN: First of all before you read any further - I want to thank all of my reviewer, who supported me in going on and most of all encouraged me that I'm doing fine. You really helped me with that. And thanks to all my readers.
Disclaimer:As usual...I don't own Naruto or something else. I wish I could own Itachi – dead and still number one!
Otouto – thoughts (mainly Sasuke's and Itachi's)
This time a long chapter! Warning: Blood; A little bit emo
Chapter 4 – Memories: Blood stained floor
- Uchiha's house, late evening -
Sasuke woke up when Itachi had entered his room and then had left again. That's why the young Uchiha got up to see what was up with Itachi. They had an argument before he left so he wanted to check up if Itachi had calmed down, because he hates having an grumpy brother. Sasuke quietly followed his brother and saw him in the bathroom.
Of course I woke up when Itachi came into my room. I just laid down before it and it wasn't that late. I must admit he really has skills in opening the door very quietly – probably because of his stealth missions.
"Damn, that was stupid. Now I have to deal with it tomorrow. I hope it won't burst open." Itachi mumured to himself as he stood in front of the mirror and took off his shirt. The blood of his wound could even through the bandage be seen.
Itachi is bleeding? When did it happen? Maybe from one of his missions? Well Itachi, that's what can happen to you when you carry out your missions and when you think you are the best and undefeatable. Sasuke's corner of his lip lit up into an malicious smirk at this thought and he went on watching Itachi closely.
"Damn." He swore again and softly poked the right side of his chest. Again pain flowed through him and he had to bit it back. "That was a stupid idea. Next time, I should take more care of my emotions and not blindly overreacting." He said and tensed up at the pain in his chest as he gripped the aching spot.
Idea? What's the meaning of this? Now Sasuke was wondering, while trying to find out what Itachi wanted to say with that.
Itachi opened a drawer and took a new bandage from it. He unwrapped his old blood stained one and wrapped a new clean one around himself, mostly around his chest and over his right shoulder to stabilize the construction. "Damn it. I can only hope that it won't prevent me. I'm not allowed to show any weakness in front of my new team. What should they think? That they have a weak Sensei? No, not a good idea." Itachi said jokingly to his reflection and added a little clip to keep his bandage together. Frowning he poked his wound to test it for impacts for the next day. Even with a bandage Itachi felt the the pain building up in his body. Supporting himself, he leaned his hands on the washbowl and starred at his own mirror image with an uncertain smile. "It will work."
Itachi's injury is at his chest, well, I will remember this for tomorrow. Wait for it Itachi, I will show you who is 'truly' weak. Sasuke thought with an evil smirk.
Suddenly, Itachi felt something, a person. He felt watched.
Sasuke? What is he doing here? Can't he sleep? Or…? His eyes widened and he turned around as fast as possible in his current state. But the young Uchiha wasn't stupid. He catched that Itachi felt something and disappeared quickly and without any noise into the kitchen.
I hope he didn't notice my injury. What should he think of me? I'm his big brother and I'm wounded? That would be really great. The prodigy's face frowned into an blank expression. He took one last glance at his reflection and then put his shirt on and went into the kitchen to do some business. As he walked into the kitchen he stopped suddenly and was surprised to find his little brother there, standing with his back to him, seeming to be in thoughts.
The thought that Itachi was bleeding and injured made me think and pleased me at the same time. Where was it from? I asked myself. He is strong and that made me think about it. Plus, Itachi is my big brother and that's why he is a kind of idol to me. And then he is wounded. Well, this broke my already destroyed admiration for him.
Itachi took a few steps forward. "Sasuke?" He asked and Sasuke spun around startled. The sudden emotionless deep voice pulled him abruptly out of his thoughts and made a shiver run down his spine, his heart beating rapidly for a moment.
"What are you doing here?" Another question from his big brother as he walked over to him. The young Uchiha took an uncertain step backward and was leaned on the frigde. The light of the moon shone through the window and glowed down on Sasuke, making his pale skin glitter in an indescribable way. He was beautiful with this glimmer in the middle of this shining light. As they stood now face to face, obsidian eyes to obsidian eyes, Uchiha to Uchiha, they were the same and yet so different. The only visible difference between them was that Itachi was a little taller than Sasuke, and Sasuke's hair had blue in their usual black shade. But the biggest somewhat unseen difference was the expression of their eyes. Itachi's eyes had, behind his emotionless expression, a hint of ease when he was around Sasuke while his eyes had always a hateful expression, even more when he was around Itachi. Snapping back from this breathtaking sight called little brother, the prodigy came back to reality.
"Are you nervous because of tomorrow or can't you sleep?" Itachi asked and locked his stare with his brother's.
"No, that's not it. I can sleep and I'm not afraid of tomorrow. I was just thirsty and I heard someone coming into the house." Sasuke lied without a second hesitation to not seem weak and to make his brother to tell him where he was. His words sounded almost like a jealous wife, scolding her husband for coming home late. Itachi looked at his little brother for a moment then turned around to take a glass.
"Oh, then I should be quieter the next time." He said indifferent in his tone and turned on the water faucet. The rush of water could be heard and the glass was slowly being filled. After half filling he turned the faucet off.
"That doesn't answer my question." Sasuke retorted and flung himself down on a chair in an annoyed way. Itachi just wanted to take a sip as he heard this and was slightly confused after overthinking it. "Which question? You haven't asked one." The elder Uchiha clarified. He was always sharp-minded when it comes to his little brother and that's why he knew that Sasuke had never asked one. So he took a great sip and waited for his brother's lie or answer. Now Sasuke was caught.
"Where you have been I mean." The young Uchiha sounded clearly annoyed now and stood up, intending to leave. His brother put his glass down and as he began to speak Sasuke stopped in his tracks.
"I was outside, refreshing my mind and myself." Itachi told him with his monotone voice. "Good for you." Came the uninterested response with an also emotionless voice as he left the room and went into his bedroom. The elder Uchiha let a sigh pass his lips. "My, my." He shook his head a little and then left the room to take a short sleep. It was eleven in the evening and he decided to sleep not longer than five hours. He had to do a few things the next day. So he laid down on his bed and sleep took over him.
- A few hours later -
Itachi woke up, covered in a thin layer of sweat and panted firmly. He grasped his necklace and stood up. His hair was damp from the sweat and sticked to his moist skin. Sweat pearls were slowing gliding down his cheeks. A lightly trembling hand came to wipe them away while the other hand still held on to the necklace.
The necklace, a strong but not too thick black thread, bond to a tight knot at the ending. The knot laid upon his neck while the opposite part, which laid loosely upon the skin above his heart, had a silver clip around it. At this clip hang a pendant. The pendant was about an one inch thick Uchiha symbol, the fan which is controlling the fire. Itachi had this necklace, his lucky charm, got ages ago from the eldest of the village. Since then he had never took it off once. Just said, it was his beloved lucky charm.
"That nightmare, it's been a month now. Always the same dream, only it's getting clearer from night to night. A cloudy, misty dream with an frigthening atmosphere. Not that it's the first time I'm experiencing this, but..." He mumbled to himself and went into the bathroom. He turned the shower on and let himself relax from the water hitting his skin. It felt so comforting. Itachi closed his raven eyes and leaned his head back, letting the spraying water cascading down on his face.
This dream... in former times I had another of this dream. A dream, which was getting clearer from day to day and intended to give me a warning. In the past because of the Uchiha slaughter but today? I don't know, but I have a bad feeling about this. Itachi thought worried and turned the shower off. He took a towel and dried himself and his black hair. "Today. Today it's time, the test for my new team. Be prepared, Sasuke." He said to himself after he had dried his hair fully and went to the kitchen.
The steps still hurt in his chest and he walked more carefully now. In the kitchen he took a glass with water and three pills: A painkiller, soldier pill and a special medicine he needed. "This wil be enough." He whispered and gulped all three pills down together. He always took his medicine when Sasuke wasn't around. His little brother shouldn't know that he is ill for four years and that without his medicine it could kill him. But someday there has to be an end to this too.
My disease would have killed me, if not the Hokage had made a medicine for me. Still, I don't like being depended on anything. But for Sasuke, for you my little brother, for you I would be depended on those pills my whole life time to make everything right. And only for you I would go through hell and back.
Can you believe it? Itachi, the greatest, strongest and best shinobi in this village has a disease and is depended on pills? Could you really believe it if you hear it? No, only if you see it. I just wonder what kind of disease this is and what negative effects it has. But more importantly: can it be healed? I wonder. And I wonder since when it all started? Another secret of his.
Suddenly the air changed and a strange feeling was forming in Itachi's body. He knew this feeling all to well, it was the sixth ninja sense. The Uchiha overthought it quickly and went to the front door. He opened the wooden door and a moment later three ANBU ninja appeared before him. All three of them wore the typical armor, the tattoo, the individual mask and a sword on the back. Two of the ANBU stood more in a distance to him, while the third of them stood more before the Uchiha. Itachi saw it immediately, this had to be the leader of them.
"What gives me the honor for your visit?" Itachi asked politely and monotone as usually the leader of the three ninja.
"Sorry to disturb you so early, but Hokage-sama wants to talk to you… now." The leader answered.
The Uchiha took a glance at the three ANBU, he felt honored by their respect but he didn't want this behavior towards him. He just wanted to be treated as normal as all villagers. But as the Uchiha's heir, an ANBU captain and probably the best Sharingan user ever and as one of the most powerful shinobi in Konoha-Gakure it was impossible to be treated normally. Accepting his fate he sighed barely audible under his breath as his thoughts raced back to the request.
Hokage-sama? What happened? A problem? Or... is it about me?
"Okay, I'll come immediately." The three ANBU disappeared and Itachi had to go as well. But before he left he walked back into the house and checked on Sasuke. Everything was fine.
He is still asleep. Well, sleep well Sasuke, you will need your energy for later.
He then wanted to leave but stopped in his tracks.
Wait, just in case you're later in a hurry and I know you hate that, so just in case…
The Uchiha went to the kitchen again and wrote a small note for Sasuke. After that he quickly prepared the breakfast and finally left the complex.
- In front of the Hokage office -
Itachi stood before the door and knocked softly, yet certainly on the cool wood. He waited patiently for his answer while he wondered what the Hokage wanted to tell him this early. He was used to this times but still something was in the air.
Has Hokage-sama maybe found out that…? He thought with uncertainty and a strange feeling spread out in his inner. But he had no time to think over it as a calm, yet firm "Enter." ringed through the closed door. Itachi opened the door and entered the room. Walking to the middle of the office in front of the desk he went down on one knee. His eyes were fixed on the ground.
"Hokage-sama, you wanted to talk to me. What's the request, if I may ask?" Voice emotionless as usual but combined with respect. "The request…" The Hokage said and stood up to walk directly in front of Itachi. "Uchiha Itachi, leader of the ANBU, now Sensei of Team 7, look up." Came the military command. But Itachi did what was told and looked up. Slowly the Uchiha's eyes travelled upwards. The fifth Hokage was a young looking woman, about twenty-five years old. She wore black heels, which were bound around her ankles, a dark blue three fourth pants, over it a silver-grey kind of kimono with a kind of sash, bound in the middle, which had the same color as the pants. Over all hung a long open green jacket with the symbol 'gambler' on the backside. Her blonde long hair was tied back into two ponytails, this alltogether was combined with her amber eyes and a little purple symbol on her forehead. She was a beautiful woman, that could no one deny.
As usually I didn't know anything from the conversations with the Hokage, as if Itachi would ever tell me anything. But, what I'd like to know are his thoughts. Because they are for me unreadable, an endless mystery.
"Hokage-sama, what's the reason for this conversation?" Itachi asked indifferent in his tone.
The fifth Hokage, called Tsunade in her familiar circles, laid her hands across her back and looked seriously at the Uchiha. "The reason… how is it with team 7? You know that originally Hatake Kakashi should be Sensei of this team but, after your plead I let you do this job, additional to your duties as an ANBU." Tsunade explained him in a testing tone. She trusted Itachi, but still she distrusted if he can do both of his duties at the same time. The Uchiha got up and met the stare of the eyes in front of him.
"Team 7? The team is doing fine. I intended to do the special test today with them to evaluate their skills as a shinobi. I'm of course aware that Hatake Kakashi should be the Sensei instead of me. Still, I will do everything my team needs and carry out my ANBU missions as well. If your trust allows it, then I will be both Sensei and ANBU leader." Itachi responsed, eyes fixed at Tsunade's amber ones.
Tsunade closed her eyes for a moment and overthought his words. "Very well then. You will be both Sensei of team 7 and ANBU leader. But there is one condition…" The Fifth trailed off and opened her eyes again and continued to stare into the deep black ones of the Uchiha. Because of a respectful matter Itachi held his usual black eyes and only activated his Sharingan in fights or in an enemy area. "You must take both duties serious and accomplish both carefully."
Itachi was a little surprised about this condition, but didn't show it and went over to his usual expressionless face. "I will do it, you can have my full trust." He assured.
That's the only condition? Taking both seriously and not making an mistake? Strange. Why so? That's what being an ninja is. I don't understand it. There must be something else behind it, maybe a test? I'm certain, that must be the hidden meaning, anything else wouldn't make any sense.
"Good." Tsunade muttered out and walked over to her desk again. The sound of clicking from her heels could be heard by every step she took. She sat down on her chair and did her usual position: Both ellbows leaned on the desk, hands fold together and chin gently rested on them so that her lips lightly touched her skin.
A short silence filled the room and was then interrupted by the Hokage. "In team 7…" She started, which caught Itachi's attention. The Uchiha looked at her askingly. "Isn't there your little brother, Uchiha Sasuke?" She asked with a little suspection.
The prodigy didn't know where this question should lead to, but didn't hesitate one bit and answered her politely. "That's right. Uchiha Sasuke, my little brother, is in team 7."
"Right. That was the reason after all. But I think we had enough of this talk. Well, what I really intented to say was that I had a certain reason to ask you to come here." Her voice became a little more serious and when Itachi gave a questionly sound she continued. "You have a new mission. It starts today, now. The summary is that we want to sign a contract with Suna-Gakure. The fourth Kazekage decided to send an representative to hand over the demands of the contract to Suna-Gakure." She told him with a monotone voice and an expression similar to the Uchiha's one.
"Is there any problem?" Itachi asked, catching the undertone.
"I don't know if you can call it a problem or not. The Kazekage came to us a long time ago. It was no problem, we escorted him successfully. Still..." Tsunade trailed off and the Uchiha's eyes questioned the statement soundlessly. "He claimed that we only send our best ninja for an escort when it's an important person and not when it's a normal person. I assured him that this is not the case and that we always send our best ninja for an escort for everyone who wants to visit Konoha in an political reason. And here comes your mission, Itachi. You have successfully escorted the Kazekage back then, now it's your job to go to Suna and bring the representative safe and content to Konoha. So we can prove that the safity of all ninjas is important to us and that the Kazekage can sign the contract. You have my full trust Itachi, don't disappoint me." The Fifth ordered and stared at the Uchiha.
"Of course not, Hokage-sama. I will do this mission conscientiously and to your full contentment." Itachi said with certainty and slightly bowed forward to the ground. "But please, one thing…" He started, eyes fixied on the carpet beneath him. "I'd like to do the test before it and then I'll immediately go for my mission after I prepared it, if I'm allowed." He asked with his monotone voice.
"So be it. I'll let you do the test and a few preparings for it. Let's say that you'll have to leave at one o'clock. Does that match with your intentions? Plus, I'll give you three ANBU for your S-Rank mission." Tsunade clarified and drained the last two words out to make the importance clear.
"Everything is fine, I understood." The prodigy answered and waited for her reply.
"Now leave." The Fifth commanded. Itachi rose to his feet and wanted to leave the room as the Hokage stopped him with a question which let his eyes widen in surprise.
"Itachi, it's been a month the last time I asked you: do you remember anything from 'that' day now?" The Hokage asked suspiciously. The Uchiha was surprised by the question and turned around to stare into the Hokage's eyes. "No, not yet. I don't know anything, because I got surprised from behind and then everything went black and when I woke up I was in the hospital. I don't know more, the same as before." The Uchiha answered calmly and a little cold, because he felt the mistrust of the Hokage. "If that's the case, then go and do what I told you." Tsunade replied and Itachi walked through the door and disappeared.
"Shizune." Tsunade said to herself and suddenly her pupil appeared in front of her.
"Yes, Tsunade-sama, what's the matter?" The Jounin asked formal as ever.
"Something is wrong with Uchiha Itachi, try to find it out. Something about him and his life disturbs me." She said with uncertainty in her voice and stood up to walk to the window, watching a few birds pass by.
"You think he is a traitor?" Shizune asked surprised.
"No, that's not it, well not really. But the story of the Uchiha slaughter… something is wrong with it." Shizune nodded lightly and disappeared again.
He still doesn't remember one single thing after four years? There must be something wrong, definitely. Tsunade thought.
Tsunade mistrusted Itachi, why not? No one knows anything about the murderer I wanted to find that badly. No one knows anything about him. The only one who could know something about him is Itachi, who can't remember one thing, or…doesn't he simply want to remember? Does he know something, but doesn't want to say it out loud? Does he even know the murderer and wants to protect him? So many questions, I still have no answer. Well, not back then.
Itachi I trust you. Better be not a traitor or worse... THE murderer. She frowned at that thought.
- At home at the Uchiha's residence, 5 o'clock in the morning -
Sasuke woke up and went at first to the bathroom, taking his daily shower. The shower made him awake and it also relaxed him from his mainly bad sleep. He stepped out of the misty shower, took a towel and wrapped it firmly around his hip and added a second towel for his hair around his neck. He then went to the kitchen, water drops were dripping down on the hallway due to his wet hair but it didn't bother him in the slightest way. When he was in the kitchen he was surprised that Itachi wasn't anywhere in sight. So he made his way to his brother's bedroom to check if he was still asleep. But that wasn't the case.
"Where is he?!" Sasuke ranted annoyed and walked back to the kitchen not caring anymore where his big brother was. He was pissed. Then he saw the prepared breakfast on the table which he oversaw at first. But what really caught his attention was a small piece of paper. He went to the wooden table and picked up the article. He smirked to himself when he saw that Itachi seemed to be in a hurry and his handwriting wasn't as perfect as usual, but it was a beautiful handwriting nonetheless. Drawing back from the handwriting the young Uchiha began to read the note.
"I'm already out of house because I had something important to do – one of the reasons was the test today. By the way… Sorry."
The first thought that popped through Sasuke's head was that he didn't give a damn whether Itachi is already out of house or not. But then he wondered why Itachi apologized and for what? His question was answered when he noticed the forgotten P.S. part.
"P.S. I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have called you that, I should have known - Itachi"
"Well, good for you." Sasuke retorted as he threw the paper away. The young Uchiha sat down at the table and ate his breakfast in silence, at least he thought so. His thoughts drifted to Itachi.
In my inner I wondered why Itachi apologized, because I was the person who slapped him mentally. Why? I will never understand him, I will never understand my own brother. Not back then, not now, not ever. But he always understood me. So strange, a big brother is really a mystery.
When Sasuke finished his breakfast he went back to his bedroom, rubbing his hair dry with his towel on the way. In his room he opened the cupboard and took out his clothes: a blue shirt and white shorts - his usual outfit. To make his appearance complete he prepared his weapons in his holders and styled his hair back to his normal hairstyle. At half past five he was finished and left the house. He had plenty of time left and slowed himself down. He was overpunctual, but that was what he wanted. He has Itachi as his Sensei, who is somewhat a freak when it comes to punctuality. And to admit it, it was rubbing off on him. Plus, Itachi is his so-called brother, that's why he wanted to be punctual in first place.
- At the meeting place -
He is still not here? Strange, usually he is rather overpunctual than punctual. Where is he? Today this morning he wasn't there any more. Argh! As if Mr. Perfect would ever be at home. Sasuke thought pissed off.
But thanks to god Naruto and Sakura aren't here too. If that was the case, then it wouldn't be so nice and calm here.
The Uchiha sat down, hands fold together behind his head as he leaned back into the still fresh and cool grass. A soft breeze wind up and he closed his eyes and enjoyed the light breeze caressing his face in a gently way. Due to this perfect scene and the mood of the early morning he could let his body relax and let out a rare content sigh.
- With Itachi -
After the meeting with the Hokage Itachi went immediately to the meeting point of their test. He prepared his things or better said his little 'surprises'. He was now done with the preparing and waited – he had after all 30 minutes left. So he laid down on the grass and enjoyed the moment of silence and thought about a few things. But when he thought too intensively about the past day, he sat back into an sitting position and grapped his necklace. A few little sweatdrops rolled down his back. His chest started to tighten and he took off his armor and softly ran his hand over the black shirt across his wound. The Uchiha rested his hand then on this spot.
I hope that nothing will happen today. Neither with me nor the other three.
Itachi was a little tensed and knocked lightly and then with more pressure at his injured spot until he had to cough and stopped this stupid action.
It hasn't healed yet. Well, what do I expect from a wound I've inflicted myself a day before and deep too? I shouldn't have done it, but I couldn't stop myself. I failed somehow. Itachi's thoughts went back to the evening which he and Sasuke had the argument and with himself running away after it and then…
- Flashback –
#Please, please forgive me#
#But I won't be home again#
#Maybe someday you'll look up#
#And barely conscious you'll say to no one:#
#"Isn't something missing?"#
Sadly and mentally absent he went outside to the pond, at which he used to sit with Sasuke, talking about random things, laughing and smiling the whole time he was with him. Good, old times.
Why failed I that much, Sasuke? I'm not the brother you wanted me to be. Why is everything so different? I'm like I used to be, still the same. Why can't I make you happy, make you laugh - like back then? Why? Itachi thought disappointed of himself.
#You won't cry for my absence, I know#
#You forgot me long ago#
#Am I that unimportant?#
#Am I so insignificant?#
#Isn't something missing?#
#Isn't someone missing me?#
After he unconsciously went sure that no one was around the Uchiha let his tears stream down and cried to himself. "I've always tried to be a good big brother, but I failed. I failed so patheticely. I wanted to make it up instead I only make you cry. Great brother I am." Itachi said quietly to himself and wiped the tears with his sleeve away, disgusted with himself for crying over his mistakes like a little child.
#Even though I'm the sacrifice#
#You won't try for me, not now#
#Though I'd die to know you love me#
#I'm all alone#
#Isn't someone missing me?#
"I guess I don't deserve it to be your brother and I don't deserve it to be your Sensei. I think you were right Sasuke. With everything. I should do now what I can best." He went on, this time with his usually emotionsless voice. He was no longer by himself and just let his emotions guide his way to wherever it should lead to. The tears stopped building in his eyes up and flowing down. He then stood up and rose his right hand, which slowly made its way to the kunai holster.
Filled with disappointment and somewhat anger he took a kunai from his pocket and wanted to stab it through his heart to erase the controlling, clinging pain. But then his thoughts raced back to Sasuke: his smile, his heart warming smile. It was calling to him, calling him, pleading him to not leave him alone, begging him, his big brother. Itachi's chest hurt in an undescribable wave of pain. Sasuke, his beloved brother, he would be alone and had no one to talk to, no one he can trust and no one he can lean on when he is sad – no one who is there for him, no one. Itachi would be like Sasuke said and wouldn't be better than any traitor. He didn't want that. He didn't want to let his little brother alone. Because he vowed, after that horrible day, to be always there for him and to protect him from anything. But still he couldn't stop the kunai anymore, it was already thrusted in way to his heart. So he only had one choice left.
#Please, please forgive me#
#But I won't be home again#
#I know what you do to yourself#
#I breathe deep and cry out#
#"Isn't something missing?#
#Isn't someone missing me?"#
Blood spurted and dripped on the floor, tainting it crimson. A surpressed cry of pain escaped Itachi's throat. Blood drops trickled down on the corner of his lips, meeting in the middle of his chin and falling on the ground, staining it with more crimson liqiud. Pain, shock and disbelief shot through his trembling body, making him wobby. He fell down on his knees and pulled with one jerk the kunai out. The whole blade stucked in his flesh and as he removed it his body tensed up in stinging pain at this. He clutched this spot with a painful expression, panting hard. After the panting slowed down to an almost normal pace he wiped with the back of his hand the blood on his lips away.
#Even though I'm the sacrifice#
#You won't try for me, not now#
#Though I'd die to know you love me#
#I'm all alone#
#Isn't someone missing me?#
"God, what have I done." He breathed and threw his head a little back. But the fast movement and his blood loss made him dizzy and with a thud he fell back with on the floor, arms stretched out. The impact shot through his wound and made blood splashing out of his mouth. His breathing was now at a normal pace again, but his sight became black.
#And if I bleed, I'll bleed#
#Knowing you don't care#
#And if I sleep just to dream of you#
#I'll wake without you there#
#Isn't something missing?#
#Isn't something…#
He passed out. The blood continiued to flow out of his wound. The red liqiud stained his right side and the floor underneath him. A puddle made of blood was forming. Even if the wound was not dangerous enough for life to be in danger, it was deep enough to make him bleed to unconsciousness.
#Even though I'm the sacrifice#
#You won't try for me, not now#
#Though I'd die to know you love me#
#I'm all alone#
The Uchiha laid motionless on the crimson stained floor as his open wound slowly stopped bleeding. Every part of his body slowed down their activities and unseen in the dark evening a single tear drop slid down the corner of Itachi's right eye, catching the bright moonlight in it and shimmering in crystal colours.
#"Isn't something missing?#
#Isn't someone missing me?"#
- End flashback -
Itachi came back to reality again and shook his head. Now feeling the grass underneath him again he noticed that he is still near the meeting place.
"I should stop thinking about these things, it's the past. I really let myself go too easily because of my emotions." He uttered as a soft breeze gently touched his face, his strays dancing in the wind. Unconsciously his right hand went to his kunai holster as he took a kunai out. He stared at it for a while, the dry blood could still be seen. "Almost." His voice only a faint whisper, a whisper of disbelief. "I almost killed myself with it." Gripping the kunai more firmly, he threw it lightly in the air and catched it again with his right hand. He continued this game for a few more times.
I did what everyone can best, I hurt myself, inflicted pain to myself - no matter where, just to overpower the pain in my heart, which is never fading only becoming stronger and more painful as the days go by. I destroyed Sasuke's life, the person most precious to me. Did I really thought that my stupid action would make it all better? No, I was blinded, blinded from my emotions. And I call myself Uchiha? THE Uchiha Itachi? How stupid has I become? Itachi thought as he tightened his grip around the knife and stood up. His eyes drifted around, searching for something.
I will never…
He fixed a tree and stared at it with empty eyes until a picture of his locked past in sync with the picture of the almost commited suicide event flashed before his eyes.
…do this mistake again!
And with that he threw the kunai into the tree before him, hitting the center of his imagined pictures.Itachi walked over to that spot and stood now before the plant with an emotionsless face and yet a trace of emotion could be seen: confusion. The Uchiha pulled the kunai out of the tree, leaving a hole behind and stared at his weapon. Again lost in his thoughts he put the metallic knife back into its place. "Everything is so ironic." A fake smile was forming at his lips as he grasped his injury. "Everything is so ironic, everything."
- Flashback continue -
Itachi woke up about five minutes later and clutched at first his wound. Wincing at the pain he pulled his hand away. His eyes widened in horror when he saw that it was stained with blood. The Uchiha took a look around and noticed more blood on the right side on the floor. "Damn." Was the only word that escaped his lips. He wanted to get up, but that was easier said than done. He fell back on his butt. The impact hurt in his chest and a hiss, followed by a cough, escaped his lips. "Damn it." He swore again and searched for something for support. He found it. The Uchiha lifted himself with the help of the wall up. One hand held tightly on his injured chest and the other on the wall. A bit shaky, but yet standing he stood on his feet. His weight was still too much for his weakened body at the moment, but he made his way slowly into the bathroom. Sweat drops rolled down his forehead. Panting and sweating he gripped his hold on the washbowl and wrapped a bandage around his wound as good as he could.
So? And now Itachi? What are you doing now? He asked himself, wondering if he could made it tomorrow. "I am injured and tomorrow is the first day with my new team, great." Sarcasm laced in his voice as he laughed a little at himself. His right hand rose to touch his moist forehead. Everything was getting too much for him to take. Stress pumped through his veins making him upset. He had to process the previous things if not he would go insane. In order to think what he should do next and to process the past seconds or better said the past minutes the Uchiha went outside to a certain place to ease his troubled mind.
He managed it safely to the lake in his condition. When his eyes took a first look at the water he was speachless. The moonlight shone on the water and shimmered in the most breathtaking ways. The view couldn't be described, it was just magical. The Uchiha's eyes travelled for a while over the water before he sat down and let himself rob his senses from the soft wind, the view at the beautiful lake and the cool grass under him. He enjoyed the moment with every pore of his body and fisted the grass between his fingers. The green blades tickled his skin, his eyes were closed and his mind was free again for a long time. He took his time and thought about everything until a tear drop was gathering behind his closed eyes and slowly trickled down his cheek. The crystal liqiud dripped onto the grass, making it wet on the touched spot. Itachi wiped it away and tried to dry the trail of it as he heard a voice behind him.
"Ah! Itachi-Sensei, what are-" Naruto called and was interrupted.
"Naruto, shouldn't you be at home by now?" Came a weak response. "I could ask you the same! What are you doing here so late?" The blonde asked back.
- End flashback -
And then I met Naruto and we talked when I walked him home. It's trange how much can happen on one single will bring this day? I wonder.
"I guess I wasted enough time thinking about past things that." Itachi said to himself and eyed his watch. "Already 6 o'clock? Was I thinking so much? However, it's time for the test." A small smile was forming on his face as he rose to his feet. Face blank like paper and yet a hint of emotion in form of a smile was on his face as he walked to the meeting place.
"Be prepared for it, Sasuke."
AN: Fourth chapter done, god, it took me forever. I think you can tell by now what I mean with OOC Itachi. I will try to find a suitable song for each chapter, because I think it brings out better the mood of the situation (but somehow it's difficult to find a whole fitting song – the prevoius chapter had a cutout of two different songs – probably I will most likely find only cutouts and seldom a whole fitting song, but I'm trying anyway). Well then, see ya next chapter! (It will be shorter, but finally the fights are starting!)
As usual: I don't own the song #Evanescence – Missing(live)#