Another sorry for taking so long to update. I was head over heels in studying. I'm glad that I at least succeded in uploading it before my exams. Just for you my dears ;P
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the Naruto world, it belongs all to Kishimoto. If not I would own my dear Itachi.
//"insert conversation here"// - Flashback of words
Chapter 15 Memories: Brothers
- later, it was already evening, Uchiha household -
Itachi opened the front door to the dark hallway. He switched the lights on and slipped his shoes off with a sigh. He needed to relax from this whole journey, his body felt stiff. Takeru stood a few feet behind him, only then moving to look around the house, exploring it without asking first.
"Is that your room?" He asked when he entered a certain bedroom at the end of the hallway.
"Hai and at the other end is my brother's room. I'm afraid that you are not allowed to step in when he hasn't given you personal permission."
"That doesn't matter. I only need your room anyway, ne Itachi-kun?" Itachi remained silent at his suggesting question. He was too drained to mind it, his thoughts all distracted and glued to something different.
"I'm going to take a shower you can stay in the living room or somewhere else you like." The Uchiha informed him and left to head for the bathroom. Takeru didn't response but simply grinned. As much as he'd love to peek on the prodigy, standing naked under the shower while water cascaded down on his beautiful body, he'd love it more to examine his private things - his bedroom.
Throughout the whole day he was thinking about the true being of the prodigy: how he's in private life, on the inside and so on. So he had come up with the plan to investigate his room and maybe find some 'interesting' things. Now with him under the shower was the perfect opportunity and he wouldn't let that slip off.
The moment he heard the water running he entered the room in a quiet motion. It was dark at first but when he switched the lights on he saw white walls, a white ceiling, a window, a beige carpet all over the whole floor, a red smaller one in the middle, a desk with a few papers, a cupboard on the right side, a wardrobe and a normal seized bed with a nightstand next to it that had a little table lamp. After putting everything together it was a room you'd expect it be. Nothing special just enough to live and work.
"So it's true. He is always on missions and rarely at home. Nowhere are private things in sight but maybe..." The Suna nin went to the cupboard and opened it, expecting something interesting but only finding mission related things like scrolls, maps and weapons.
"Disappointing. You are no fun Itachi-kun." He mumbled and flopped down on the bed, landing on silky crimson blankets that were in contrast to the snow white pillow. The bed was soft and felt like floating through the sky, brushing the cotton-like clouds. Takeru found himself falling back into them and letting out a content sigh.
If this guy had investigated my room and if I had found out about this then his blood would have been spilled all over the carpet. At least in my imaginations. In reality I would have yelled at him until he has gone deaf or punched him good and hard. Oh what a delicious thought. Since when have I become so violent? I forgot, Takeru this jerk is a genius at making everything possible. Can he disappear then? Unfortunately I never had such luck.
"I wonder what you are thinking about when you lay in your bed and look up to the ceiling like I do now."
So many questions. You are quite a mystery Itachi-kun, so unreadable and out of reach.
"Seriously, the one who falls in love with you has bad luck. I think no one is able to reach you and melt the ice, the distance that you try to keep. I noticed it. You've built a wall between you and the rest of the world. Is there really no person that can touch your heart?" Takeru immediately laughed to himself at this stupid thought. He was supposed to be the one to try to get into Itachi's pants but instead he was thinking about stuff like a good, concerned friend would.
"Hilarious." The man voiced out and shifted his weight, now facing the room. Still it was bothering him. The whole thing seemed so weird.
Is there really nothing that is important to him?
//"Sasuke!"//
No.
There 'is' something important to him.
He was wrong. On the way back when they fought those opponents he was worried about his little brother. Could that be the clue he was searching for?
A mysterious feeling shot through his body and he found himself been drawn to the nightstand next to the bed. Takeru opened it and found a single article in the wooden drawer - a photograph. He took the glass framed picture into his hands and stared at it, his eyes widened.
-Meanwhile, bathroom-
Itachi stripped himself off his clothing. When he pulled the shirt over his head he saw the scars in the mirror, reflecting it back to his wandering eyes. He lifted his right hand and brushed over the marred skin. His fingers moved softly over his flesh and were then met by a thread like material - his necklace. He grasped it tightly before lifting it up to gaze at it with an empty expression.
//Your necklace means a lot to you, doesn't it aniki?"//
//"It is important to me otouto. But any object, even my lucky charm for that matter, could never be more important to me than your life is."//
A weak smile passed his lips. The pendant swayed in the air before coming to a stop when he released his hold on his lucky charm. Itachi discarded his last clothes and stepped into shower, turning the faucet on. He never removed his necklace not even when he was showering or sleeping. He would always wear it around his neck, feeling it soothing him when it touched the bare skin right above his heart.
Water sprayed down on with a perfect temperature. Itachi let out a sigh that has gathered in his throat and tilted his head back, closing his eyes to succumb fully to this welcomed comfort. Oh how he needed to set his mind free. He never thought that a mission could be difficult. It never was in first place, it was just the fact that he was afraid that Sasuke could get hurt. That he would be unable to help him and feeling the guilt eating him after seeing injuries on the younger's still fragile body. The one thing that the prodigy was most afraid of is having to watch his little brother getting violated before his eyes without being able to save him from that.
This imagination drove directly under his skin, causing his heart to ache and his teeth to bite his inner cheek to prevent any trembling. Itachi punched the wall next to him, a frustrated "damn" fell from his lips. Those thoughts were sometimes so real, so frightening real like his daily nightmares were. Anyone could easily blame it on his brotherly instincts but the prodigy knew better on what to blame it...
...on his forbidden love.
It was his beloved brother who was always on his mind. The first thing he woke up to and the last thing he saw before drifting off to sleep and it's only getting stronger with each day. Since his mind finally admitted that he is in love with Sasuke he can't think of anything else than him. Whether it was his smile, his laugh, his tears, his glare or his hatred - it wouldn't leave him. It was so wrong. He was telling himself that all over the past years yet he could never find the strength to stop. He has fallen too deep, too deep into this sinful love.
It was eating him, sanity fading little by little. Everytime his little brother would insult him, reject him or in any other way hurt him, he would feel this painful rope tightening more around his heart. He was getting restless. He had to stop this love. What was the point in keeping it alive when Sasuke would never understand it? Never accept it? Never feel the same? Never be his? So why not stopping it from getting stronger? Why was he hesitating? It was so difficult to understand yet the answer was so easy: hope will always last. His foolish heart was praying for his brother to return the feelings one day. His stupid, foolish heart would never stop giving up this pathetic hope.
Someday it will break me completely. This one-sided love is slowly killing me, killing me from the inside out.
"And yet, even though I know all of this..."
Obsidian eyes opened, warm drops glide down on lightly flushed cheeks.
"...I can't stop loving you."
The water running down his skin made it look like tears. If he wasn't Uchiha Itachi, if he wasn't trained to kill his emotions maybe he would have cried now. He felt the urge to release it, all the torturous feelings inside of him but he couldn't pour them out. Even though he was alone and no one would witness it.
How stoic has he become? Without any trace of emotions?
Yes, this was how everyone expected the prodigy to be: a walking, obeying shinobi, blessed with the fortune of a true genius.
A heavy sigh. Itachi turned the faucet off, stepping out of the shower followed by a steam of mist. He took a towel and wrapped it around his hip and with the second one drying his hair. After his body was no longer moist he put a new bandage around chest. He felt better with the white article that would soak his blood when his scar burts open again. The fog that lingered in the room vanished and with it the moisture. The Uchiha pulled his black pants back on and a loose shirt, dressing himself in more comfortable clothes.
-Meanwhile in Itachi's room-
Takeru stared with wide eyes at the photo but then they softened. He smiled. The picture showed the two Uchiha brothers at the age of eight and thirteen. Both of them had a true smile on their face. The atmosphere it held was lovingly, carefree and sweet. The Suna nin watched the photo a few moments longer. He liked it. It was soothing him. His mind was so drawn to it that he never noticed the door being opened and a person entering the room.
"It was Sasuke's eighth birthday." Came the montone voice from behind the man. Takeru spun around startled, quickly putting the photograph down on the nightstand. He stuttered for a moment before gaining his normal voice back.
"S-Sorry Itachi-kun. I was curious and couldn't stop myself from searching something interesting. But now that I've found this picture I don't regret it. You can punish me for that if you want." He watched the elder Uchiha's calm expression and saw him shaking his head in response.
"No need for that, it's okay."
Itachi walked over to him and picked the picture up, gazing at it for a moment before he put it back into the drawer. The Suna guy grinned at him sheepishly, feeling like a child being caught by his mother. He felt the urge to apologize again but his stomach got to speak first.
"Hungry? Do you wish for me to make you something?"
"Hell yeah I think that I will starve otherwise." The prodigy couldn't hold back an amused chuckle and went off to the kitchen. Takeru followed him like a good puppy and sat down on a chair while watching the other making his ordered meal.
Itachi gathered a few vegetables together, cutting them perfectly into shape with quick but graceful movements of his knife. The elder man could only stare with his mouth lightly agape when his dinner was sprawled out in front of him.
"That looks delicious!" He exclaimed and cheerfully eat his sandwich. He was devouring it, enjoying the fresh taste it held. "It was great, thanks Itachi-kun."
"You're welcome. It's one of the only things I am able to make." Came the nonchalantly answer as stood up, putting the plate into the sink.
"Why one of the only things?"
"Because I mostly eat soldier pills."
"That's really boring and not even tastful." Takeru said while doing the same and getting up as well.
"I know but I'm mainly on missions and because I don't have the time to eat I take soldier pills instead. You can fight for three days then without eating or sleeping." Itachi stated and skipped ahead, knowing the other would follow him he went outside to his favorite place.
-Outside, in the garden-
It took only one gaze at the pond for Itachi to sigh out contently as he sat down on the wooden floor. Takeru took a seat next to him.
A beautiful evening atmosphere filled the air as fireflies danced around, illuminating the place with their light. The sight was almost romantical and the Suna man chuckled amused at this thought. He felt like being on a date with the Uchiha. Should he ask him out? Walking down the streets at late evening would be a sight to behold, most of all when you accompany the famous prodigy. But he would save that for another time. Tonight he was going to sleep in the same bed as him and who knows what can happen there?
Takeru drooled at the said imagination and had to wipe his mouth clean afterwards. He grinned with embarassment, thinking that Itachi noticed his drooling. He shifted to meet his eyes, laughing nervously but his laugh faded the moment he saw the Uchiha staring at the pond before them, obviously lost in thoughts. Sighing loudly he turned back with a pout. He was being ignored.
Moonlight reached their faces, brightening them up as more silence settled in. Another sigh. After a good amount of wasted time with doing nothing but to watch the fishes in the water the older man decided to break the pause as he came up with the thought that was on his mind the whole evening.
"The picture of your brother and you... you seemed really happy back then." He started, tilting his head to face the other's expression. For a moment there was a flicker of something hard to describe in those obsidian eyes but it passed as quickly as it appeared.
"I was."
"'Was'?"
"I'm still happy." Itachi corrected with his indifferent tone. His bangs covered his face, clouding his eyes like a dark curtain, concealing every trace of emotions that would betray his words. But Takeru immediately knew that there was something going on. The montone voice, the not covered part of his face which held a blank expression, negating his previous statement. Why would he say that after the man had already seen the damaged bond between him and Sasuke?
"You are lying. I saw your look when your brother left to spend the night together with the other ones of his team."
"They are his friends. He just wants to be with them."
"You lie to yourself and you know that!"
//"You disgrace our Clan and you know that!"//
Itachi's eyes widened. Takeru has used almost the same words like Sasuke did when they were arguing in the clearing. He forced his stare back to the pond, fighting the memory of that moment. A light crack, another sound and then he saw the man's feet on the ground before him. He tilted his head up slowly, gazing into fierce hazel eyes.
"Sasuke abandoned you with a smirk on his face."
The Uchiha closed his eyes for a moment but they opened quickly after he felt a firm grasp on his chin, forcing him to meet the other's stare.
"He left you behind without caring what I could do to you now. I could touch you, rape you all I want because I know you won't stop me. You won't stop me because of the contract that is on the line. You would be at my mercy and how I would enjoy it having you under me and screaming my name. Sometimes you just don't know how tempting you are, how incredible handsome compared to all others out there."
A sweatdrop slithered down Itachi's neck as sudden discomfort appeared in his now blood red eyes. The situation unintentionally triggered his Sharingan like adrenalin in a fight situation. Warm breath met his lightly cooler skin when Takeru drew nearer, leaning in.
"But you know what Itachi-kun?" He breathed against his ear, whispering into it.
"I really like you by now. I wouldn't dare to rape you or doing something that is only one-sided. To tell you the truth, the reason why I retain myself from doing it is because I know that you..." Eyes widened more than ever when the man finished his sentence.
"...love your little brother."
"How did you-?" The prodigy was silenced by a finger to his lips.
"I know how you feel because I felt something comparable."
Eyes widened again and Takeru retreated from his position. He turned around, letting the other watch his back as he took a few steps in direction to the pond. A koi jumped out and fell back under the surface with a splash that echoed through the garden.
"I had a little brother myself."
"You 'had'? What happened?"
The man inhaled deeply before answering. He was hesitating and closed his eyes when the memory played in his mind.
"He died on a mission."
Itachi gasped, looking to the side in compassion. "I'm sorry."
A gentle shook of head was the response. "Don't apologize for something that's not your fault but only mine." Takeru said quietly before finding the courage to continue.
"The worst part about it was that he died after our argument. I couldn't apologize to him any more, it was too late for that. We parted in anger." He voiced out the last part in a sad tone, pain and guilt apparently in it.
"Our family was always in the duty of serving under the Kazekage, always a high ranked ambassador. My otouto's name was Kazuo. He was smiling all day and was really cheerful like your brother used to be when he was younger. He never wanted the boring life of travelling around, guarded by ANBU, shaking hands and sitting there day and night, talking about political things. He wanted to fight, being a real shinobi and striking battles for peace. He wanted to be a hero. Little kids and their dreams ne? At least he had a dream. But then one day we had this argument..." The Suna guy trailed off, stopping for a moment to take another deep intake of air. Tears gathered in his eyes but he tried his best to hold them back.
"We met on the roof of the Kazekage building. I pleaded him to stop being a shinobi. I wanted him to be an ambassador like me. I wanted him to stay out of fights and guess what he refused. Does it remind you of something? In that point he was exactly like your otouto, stubborn and not once swallowing down his pride to admit that I was right. We are big brothers we know what's best for them. After that he stormed off and went to his mission, the mission I wanted to shelter him from because I knew it was dangerous. He never came back... he died. He died before I could apologize to him." Tears quietly rolled down, escaping without an usual sob. Takeru wiped them away and could feel the other's gaze on him.
Itachi listened closely without saying a word in response and felt the same painful twist of his heart, the same aching like when he saw Sasuke getting hurt. He didn't want to imagine how it must feel when his little brother would die under these circumstances. How the guilt would tear him into shreds.
This would be a 'critical hit' then. Losing your relative would put you through much pain.I can tell. I lost my parents. My father was finally acknowledging me, finally accepting me as his son. My mother was always there for me when I had stupid bruises or was disappointed. And both had to be torn away from me. But not only them... it was the whole clan that was wiped out. All my relatives have been killed except for Itachi. So I do know how it feels to be in pain because of the death of a family member.So I do understand how Takeru feels. And for the first I time I feel sorry for that man.
"What he never knew and will never know is that he was very important to me. Our parents were murdered by some bandits. I took care of that little hyperactive boy then. I still haven't quite figured out how strong my feelings were. Sure, he was important to me but did I love him in that way? I don't know. Maybe something between love and brotherly love. But why do I keep thinking about it? It's too late for that."
An uneasy silence settled in, the sounds of the night the only ones heard for now. Takeru seemed to think of something and after he made up his mind he voiced it out.
"Itachi, can you promise me something? Will you protect your otouto and make sure to never part in anger? Can you promise me this? For his sake, for your sanity and for my wish? Can you?"
Tears stopped replaced by seriousness. His eyes locked with crimson ones, a firm nod came in response.
"I promise it. By the name Uchiha, by my big brother being and as a friend..." Itachi spoke with undoubtable certainty, his eyes shining with the same seriousness as he put his right hand over his heart, supporting his words.
"I vow it." Takeru smiled a true smile at this.
"You know Itachi-kun, I'm really glad that I met you. You are really an awesome person. Never before I met someone like you."
The man paused then, chuckling before he finished his thought.
"Now I almost regret it not using my earlier chance of screwing you senseless."
Itachi gripped a handle, pushing the door open to reveal his bedroom once again. He stepped in, glancing around.
"You said that you only want to sleep in my room, didn't you? You can have my bed for that if you want."
"What about you? Will you sleep there too?" Takeru asked, already imagining what he could do with the Uchiha being this close to him. He drooled at the said imagination.
"I'm afraid, unfortunately not. I have to make sure no one will attack you while you sleep. I have to stay alert. I am not allowed to sleep." Came the crushing answer, accompanied by a indifferent voice, his blood red eyes showing no traces of a single emotion.
With a sigh of disapproval the Suna guy gave up and removed his shirt. He went to the bed and tugged himself in, pulling the blankets up to his shoulders.
"But stay here at least then."
"Of course. This is necessary to protect you after all."
Takeru's lips curled up at this and he cuddled more into the warmth. Itachi smiled inwardly, it reminded him of his brother. He missed him. He missed his sweet, little, innocent and always happy otouto. With a sad smile on his face he took a seperate cover out of the cupboard, wrapping it around his body after sitting down and leaning back against the wall. Silence filled the dark room, beams of the moonlight shone through the window.
"How about you rest together with me? I'm so cold all alone here. You could warm me up with that strong body of yours." A purr, seducing as always. Hazel eyes met crimson ones and the Uchiha blinked briefly, assuming his amused smile from earlier.
"It would be very unacceptable of me to do that. A shinobi isn't allowed to be in that kind of close contact with his patron."
"You're no fun. Can't you screw the rules one time? I didn't mind it being close to you in the forest back then. I loved the feeling of your body pressed against mine, your smell surrounding me and your soft lips against my own." The man's eyes shone, a smirk playing on his face. He was refering to the kissing scene on their way to Konoha. Itachi remained indifferent, not responsing to this one.
Takeru felt a bit guilty after he saw the other man averting his eyes from him, gazing through the window instead with a seemingly sad expression.
"I'm sorry Itachi-kun. If I had known earlier that you love your brother I wouldn't have done this to you. I didn't mean to steal your first ki-"
"It's okay." Itachi interrupted him, his voice softer.
Just let me sum this up: Itachi, my big brother, the ANBU captain, Uchiha prodigy and heir, genius in everything, admired by everyone - got his first kiss by this man? Should I laugh or cry now? Or feel something else? Maybe jealousy? And do I have to admit now that I'm still innocent at this topic? But better this than getting my first kiss from a jerk like Takeru. Another useless dream I don't want to achieve just like the 'love of your life' thing. I have a better dream, sorry, goal. Revanche is so much better than the useless feeling of love.
"You don't need to apologize to me because of something like that but you should sleep instead. We have to leave tomorrow again. So try to get some rest and I'll do my duty by staying here to protect you." A smile passed the man's lips and his eyes fell closed. The Uchiha watched Takeru, seeing his chest raise and fall, a small smile played on his own face. It reminded him really of Sasuke.
Sasuke...
Drops met the window, marking the start of another rainfall. White light illuminated the room before it became dark for a moment. Itachi's Sharingan swirled in alert as he simultaneous threw the cover away and stood on his feet only one second later. The Suna guy heard the rustle of the sheet and awoke from his soft slumber. He rubbed his eyes, noticing that the prodigy was no longer in the bedroom. Irritated he got up, skipping through the hallway while calling the other's name, waiting for a response. He heard more sounds and decided to follow the source.
Itachi fastened a coat over his shoulders, buttoning it up on the frontside and throwing the hood over his head.
"What's wrong?" Tiredness hung in the elder man's voice when he asked the Uchiha to explain his behavior.
"A shadow. There was something before the window. Someone was here in the district. I have to find out who or what it was. You will come with me I can't risk to have you getting attacked while I'm away." A nod in response. Itachi handed him a second coat and then both left the house, running through the district, looking for something suspicious.
Strange. First I thought about Sasuke and then I saw the shadow. Did something happen to him? I have to find out quickly.
The front gate passed them as they continued to search for a sign of anything out of place. They looked around, Takeru rather uneasy and struggling to keep up while the prodigy quickly checked his surrounding with the help of his Kekkei Genkai.
What's going on here?
The rain fell harder by now, drenching their hair until it stuck to the skin beneath. Thanks to their coats the clothing underneath was sheltered from the pouring water. The dark sky combined with the lightly foggy weather made the search more difficult but that didn't stop them from finding the source of the shadow. They drew closer to the core of the village now several ways were ahead of them. Konoha-Gakure wasn't the capital for nothing.
"This way." Itachi instructed, pointing at one direction. Takeru nodded and followed when the prodigy suddenly halted, stopping the man from bumping into him afterwards.
A person stood a few feet away, draining all focus and attention from the Uchiha. The Suna guy gasped in surprise when the young person before them turned around after Itachi spoke up, his voice seemed to startle him.
"Sasuke? What are you doing here?" Black widened eyes relaxed, gazing into blood red ones.
"Itachi?" Came the surprised reply, tone softer than expected.
"I could ask you the same. What are you doing here?"
AN: Finished! Phew... long talk ne? I really felt sorry for Takeru (always the family T_T). The background story sounded a bit like Nawaki. Wow, Takeru sure wants to get into Itachi's pants. Who not? ;) And yeah, I love perverted talking it's funny. Don't worry, the next chapter will continue this ending scene ;P So see ya next chapter.