Act 2
The Pregnancy
(The setting is two weeks later, the same shabby apartment)
Ben Finn: (In the apartments small bathroom, suddenly stumbles out) Oh Avo...Oh no...(holding a home pregnancy test in his hand which is shaking) I'm...I'm pregnant with Reaver's child!
Reaver: (suddenly bursts in through a side door) Did i hear my sex bunny calling my name?
Ben Finn: (screams) Ah! How long have you been in my closet?
Reaver: Two weeks. You may want to shampoo the carpet in there. Also i put up some posters, i hope you like David Hasselhoff. Now, why were you calling my name? Ready for another round of "role-playing?"
Ben Finn: No! I'm somehow pregnant!
Reaver: (dramatic gasp) You've been cheating on me? How could you!
Ben Finn: Don't be stupid! It's clearly yours.
Reaver: Oh. (thinks about it) How is this even physically possible?
Ben Finn: Hey, you did a lot of things to me that i didn't know were physically possible, so don't yell at me!
Reaver: By Avo...I'm going to be a father!
Ben Finn: (looks sick) How am i suppose to feed them? I don't have...(looks down at his chest)
Reaver: (muttering to himself) I'm going to have to buy plenty of leather belts. Kids are awfully stubborn.
Ben Finn: I don't even have a job! I've been making money collecting cans from the side of the road!
Reaver: I'm going to have to call Barry, i know how he loves kids. Maybe he can help...
Ben Finn: (seems to come to a sudden realization, panicked look) WERE ARE THEY GOING TO COME OUT?
Reaver: Hu? Oh, i suppose i should take you to a doctor. Get you checked out and all.
(all goes dark, when the lights come back Reaver and Ben Finn are sitting in a cramped doctors office, suddenly the door swings open and hits Ben in the knee, Logan walks in.)
Logan: Whoopsies! Sorry about that. Hi! I'm the Pregnant-Man Doctor, so you're a Pregnant man?
Ben Finn: Would I be here if I wasn't?
Logan: Oh my, mood swings. (writes something down on his clipboard)
Reaver: Honey, don't yell at the doctor. He's only doing his job. (puts his arm around Ben)
Ben Finn: (makes and angry growl noise)
Logan: Hm, Anxiousness as well. (writes more)
Reaver: Don't worry dearest, you'll be just fine. (Pats Ben's leg)
Ben Finn: I swear to Avo if you don't get your hand off m leg, I'll shove it so far up your-
Logan: Ok then! I think someone needs a tranquilizer! (Pulls out a huge needle and jabs it in Ben's neck.)
Ben Finn: What the hell was- (passes out)
( All goes dark again, when the lights come back the setting has setting is now a room with padding on the walls floor and ceiling.)
Ben Finn: (groans and looks around)
Reaver: (dry-humping Ben's leg) Oh hi.
Ben Finn: AH!
Reaver: (stops and gets off) Sorry, couldn't control myself.
Ben Finn: What is this place? Were am I?
Reaver: You're in a hospital for pregnant men.
Ben Finn: There's enough cases of male pregnancy for them to build a HOSPITAL?
Reaver: Oh no, it's just this one room...In my basement...sorry about the rats.
Ben Finn: (looks frightened)
Reaver: Don't worry! Our babies will be perfectly safe! The doctor said we could even continue our "role-play" if we wanted to.
Ben Finn: That wasn't role-play! It was rape!
Reaver: ... Well, you can't say that you didn't enjoy it.
Ben Finn: That may be true but-Wait, no. No! NO NO NO!
Reaver: (hurt pout)
Ben Finn: Wait, babies. Plural? We're having TWO?
Reaver: A little higher.
Ben Finn: (looking frightened) THREE?
Reaver: You're getting warmer.
Ben Finn: JUST TELL ME.
Reaver: Twenty-five.
Ben Finn: (begins to hyperventilate)
Reaver: Now now, don't panic.
Ben Finn: My stomach isn't even that- (looks down to see that his stomach has swollen to the size of a beach-ball in the short time he was asleep) OH AVO!
(Lights go out)
-END ACT 2-