So this one's a little different, we get a little bit from Gibbs' POV and I have to say, I really enjoyed writing it (:
thankyou to all my amazing readers and reviewers, you guys make my day.

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Ziva leaned against the basin and looked at her reflection in the mirror of the NCIS bathrooms, taking in the tired eyes and the defeated sag of her shoulders. She had long since given up straightening her hair in the mornings and it was currently tied back in a quick ponytail that reminded her of the way she had worn it back in her first years at NCIS. The only difference was that back then the wild curls had been who she was, they showed her strength. Now all the unruly mess did was make her look tired and small.

Her visit to the shrink had been, as expected, an ultimately pointless exercise. There was no way she was giving anything away to the stranger so instead of pouring her heart out to the woman or shutting her out and refusing to say a word, she had told her exactly what she wanted to hear.

It hadn't been difficult, the woman had no idea of the true depths of Ziva's ability to hide her feelings. Even in her current state she could keep her emotions hidden from strangers. All it took was a few well placed answers and some perfectly cued tears. Yes it's the stress of the job, yes I get overwhelmed by all the death, of course I regret what I did, uh huh I have been seeking support.
It had taken great control not to laugh when the woman had, with great care, asked her whether she had ever had to kill someone on the job. If only you knew she had thought to herself as she sniffled and answered the woman quietly, "Yes, but not for a while now. I think it all just caught up with me." The shrink had thought nothing of it, nodding and scribbling some notes on her clipboard.

Coming back to the present Ziva sighed outwardly. Tony wouldn't be happy, she knew he had gone to Vance, knew it was him lobbying for her to see someone. He thought she wasn't handling things and in all honesty, she couldn't blame him. A few nights ago she had turned up at his house and woken him, fully intending to yell at him for turning her in. Somehow though, despite the anger that had grown in her in the hours before, she hadn't been able to hold onto that frustration and had ended up falling into his arms and agreeing to see a shrink.

The Ziva in the mirror was frowning now, obviously annoyed at her for being so weak. For falling apart in front of the man who already saw her as the woman who couldn't handle a little pressure, who needed counselling when times got a little tough. But that wouldn't happen anymore, it couldn't. She straightened up and looked mirror-Ziva in the eye, her resolve strengthening. It was time to forget the events of the last few weeks, they weren't her, they had been the acts of someone weak, someone she didn't want to be. Exhaling deeply she took one last look at the woman in the mirror, the one with a new determination in her eyes. She wasn't going to be this new Ziva anymore, she was going to go back. Back to who she had been before.

She turned and walked to the door.

"Enough DiNozzo!" Agent Gibbs said from his desk, authoritative voice echoing in the quiet of the squadroom.

Tony had been fidgeting at his desk for the past hour, clicking pens and tapping fingers. If this didn't end soon Gibbs knew it wouldn't just be him wanted to put that pen through Tony's hand. McGee had also been growing increasingly frustrated by the agent's inability to be still for any period of time. It had begun when Ziva had risen from her own seat and excused herself to go and run some 'case-related errands' and they hadn't had a moment of silence since.

Gibbs had known she was lying but he hadn't pulled her up on it. He knew what had been going on over the past weeks, he always kept a close eye on his agents and there was little he didn't notice. So far he hadn't felt the need to step in but that didn't mean he wasn't always watching. The thing about Ziva was that she had trouble accepting that she couldn't handle something. She would push herself until it almost became too much but when she finally admitted she needed help, he knew she would come to him. Until then, Tony seemed to be handling the situation. In fact, he was proud of his agent for stepping up and being the one to notice the change in his partner. Sometimes it wasn't easy to tell with Ziva.

He was pulled from his thoughts by the frustrating realisation that the clicking had started up again and looked up just in time to see Ziva striding into the room and taking a seat at her desk.

"You know Tony, if you keep that up I think McGee's head may explode and I certainly will not be the one cleaning brains off the walls."

There was something off about her teasing tone but it was so slight that Gibbs wouldn't even have noticed if he hadn't known. He smiled at Tony's stunned expression and leaned back in his seat to enjoy the silence, he knew it would only last a moment.

phew. what do you think?
I know, I know, It feels a little like one step forwards, two steps back but I promise it's going somewhere! I guess you'll just have to trust me :P
After this it's all going to fall together, or apart, I guess it depends on how you look at it. and then it's aaall about the Tiva. (;
so yeah, reviews? please and thankyouu :D