Yes, yes, Cro, we missed you. Tears, love, glory, awesome. I missed you too, my favorite pandas. Except I don't cry about it.

College, unpacking, hotter'n'hell, roomie's home for the weekend, no effing air conditioning, wishing for an ice cream bath, too effing hot. How are you?

This one is shorter. I have decided on bitty chaps this go around, rather than mega chaps like last time. So, updates should be quicker than I thought. Tell me I'm awesome, I never get sick of it.

Woo!

"GAW, Germany, why can't I drive to the party?"

Ludwig peered over his sunglasses at his brother. "Seriously? You have to ask?"

Prussia pouted in the wheelchair. "That was six years ago. Let it go, West!"

"Six years, two lawsuits and 30,000 euros ago. The answer is no."

"Whatever. Your costume is stupid."

Germany looked down at his blue clothes and painted skin. "What are you talking about? This is clever!"

"A pun is not clever. No one's gonna get that you're a Body of Water, dude."

Germany blushed. "Shut up, idiot. At least I'm not asking you to go as Preiss and Bayer* again this year."

"Do you even know what Halloween means?"

Germany and Prussia bickered until Italy finally came waddling out of the house in a ridiculous fabric tube. "I'm all ready, Germany! Let's go!"

"Feli!" Gilbert cried. "Germany won't let me drive!"

Italy looked down at Prussia, confused. "Eh? But Prussia, you're in a wheel chair! You can't drive!"

A grin slowly spread across Prussia's face. "Hey... you're right! Feli, you're the smartest pasta I know!"

"I'm penne!" Italy beamed.

"You sure are!"

...

"I don't know what you didn't wanna wear it," Spain said to Romano as he drove to Austria's house. "You look adorable!"

"I hate you."

"Why? You're Michelangelo!"

"Why do you think the greatest Rennaissance artist was some stupid turtle?" Romano crossed his arms. "When you say Michelangelo, you think Sistine Chapel. Or David. But you don't fucking think mutated American sewer creature!"

"But pizza, Romano! You like pizza!"

"GAH!" Romano smacked his orange-masked face in exasperation.

"Relax, Lovi! You're a cute little turtle!"

Romano groaned. "You should have warned me that you would do something idiotic like this."

Spain winked through his Zorro mask at Romano. "You should have assumed. At least you're a ninja. Ninjas are cool."

Romano leaned back in his shell and crossed his arms. "I hate you."

...

By the time France's car pulled into Austria's enormous driveway, Spain and Prussia had already been sitting outside for ten minutes, waiting.

"Dude!" Prussia shouted at Francis before the door even opened. "What the hell? You're late!"

Spain followed Prussia's wheelchair happily. He grinned until France's car door opened.

"Eh?" Spain's face fell. "Francis? What are you wearing?"

Prussia looked at the Frenchman and burst into violent laughter.

"HAHAHAHA! France, dude, great costume! You look ridiculous!"

France reddened. "This is a PERIOD PIECE, you fool! From the Revolution!"

"Oh!" Spain said. "You're Marie Antoinette! But she was Austrian, Francis."

Francis opened his mouth to protest, but Prussia looked like he was going to hurt himself leaning back in the wheel chair so far to laugh. He sighed.

"Shut up, you moron," Francis said to Prussia. "Do you want to tell us why you told us to gear up like 'super-secret-spies?'"

"Yes," Spain agreed. "Why did you ask me to bring a real sword?"

"And my night vision goggles?"

"Okay," Prussia said. "First, I was totally kidding about the goggles, France, and the fact that you have them seriously scares the shit out of me."

France crossed his arms and blushed.

"Second," Prussia continued. "Isn't it obvious? We're destroying Austria's party."

...

"Elizaveta? Elizaveta!"

Hungary snapped herself out of her trance and looked at Austria. "Yes?"

Austria pushed his glasses up on his nose in annoyance. "My goodness, Elizaveta, you've been staring at that wall for two minutes. What has gotten into you?"

Hungary scowled at herself. "I'm sorry. I felt a great disturbance in the force."

"The what?"

"Where's Gilbert?"

...

"Gilbert, no," Spain groaned. "You do this all the time. Why can't we have one night of fun?"

"This IS fun," Prussia insisted. "We're gonna make his totally lame party into an awesome party of greatness and wonder! People are going to thank us!"

"How do you know the party is lame?" France asked.

"Because it's Specs," Prussia snapped. "And Specs doesn't do party. Because he's got a stupid face."

"Looks pretty fun, Gilbert," Spain said, looking in the window at a group of laughing countries.

"They're totally faking," Prussia said. "There's no way they could be having fun."

France sighed. "Mon ami, is it possible that you want to ruin Austria's party because-"

"Nein," Prussia cut France off. "I just hate him."

"Si," Spain said. "But why?"

"Jeez, I wasn't expecting the Spanish Inquisition," Prussia pouted.

"No one ever does," Spain grinned slyly.

"Will you guys please just help me?"

France sighed. "Fine. But not because you begged."

"I didn't beg!"

"I'm in too," Spain said. "You know I can't say no when you beg like that."

"I wasn't begging!" Prussia protested. "Awesome doesn't beg! Awesome is begged and begged and finally after hours of being begged humbly consents! I don't beg!"

"I humbly consent," said Spain.

"Only because you looked like you were about to cry," France teased.

"Goddammit!"

...

"I knew it," Hungary whispered to herself as she hid behind a car to spy on the trio. "The bastard IS planning something."

France and Spain laughed loudly and Prussia whined at them. Hungary adjusted her witch hat and scowled.

"Over my dead body."

Oop! Almost forgot! *Preiss and Bayer is a stupid but popular German/English pun. It sounds like "Price and Buyer" and it means "Prussian and Bavarian." Also kind of made you think of that South Park episode where it was decided that Germans have the worst sense of humor in the world. AWKWAAAAARD!