A/N: Blame Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare and The Thief King for bringing my Hank/Alex obsession to the surface. XD

Warnings: language, sexual imagery/implications, Hank/Alex, background Erik/Charles, Alex being raunchy, Hank and Alex being horny teenagers . . . the usual. Lmfao. Set during First Class, as a missing moment during the infamous training week montage.

Disclaimer: If I owned X-Men, Hank and Alex would be having little blue fuzzy gay babies. Capisce?

Such strenuous living

I just don't understand

When in just seven days, oh, baby,

I can make you a man.

'I Can Make You a Man', The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

"Shhh, Alex!"

"Don't shh me, I'm not a five-year-old."

"Well, you're running like one. You almost knocked over that vase –,"

"It's vayse, not vaaaahz. Hmm, how about here?" Alex says, skidding to a halt and indicating a storage closet.

"That's a closet," Hank points out, both confused and dumbfounded by the other mutant's sheer idiocy. "We can't –,"

"Don't be such a wuss," Alex says bluntly, opening the door to the closet and yanking Hank in. "Don't you want to lose your closet-virginity?"

"One virginity was quite enough, thank you –,"

Alex closes the door with a quiet click and drags Hank to him, backing against the wall. In the complete darkness of the small room, Hank can't even see two inches in front of his face, but he suddenly imagines how Alex would look here, in the closet, flushed, sweaty, moaning, hot –

He shudders then, and Alex's triumphant grin transcends the darkness. "Changed your mind yet? Something's definitely changing –,"

"I actually think I could use some more convincing."

Alex, who suddenly seems to have developed night vision, finds Hank's mouth in the dark and slams their lips together. Hank kisses him back and holds him firm against the wall, delighting in the way Alex shivers against him.

The carefully-hidden animalistic streak in Hank rears its head then, and his lips move to Alex's jaw, pressing against the light stubble there, before he tips his head to reach the other boy's neck and digs his teeth in.

Alex gasps, and Hank hears the thunk of his head hitting the wall as he bares that pretty white throat. "Yeah," he says, his voice husky and deep and masculine even as he submits to the lips at his neck. "Like that. You're so hot like this, Hank, all rough –,"

Hank smiles and bites again, making Alex jerk. The whole world has shrunk down to the closet and the two young men in it, and Hank only very dimly notices the sound of people walking by, familiar voices, a sudden exclamation of, "Wait, Erik, don't!" –

Then the door swings open, light flooding in, and Hank and Alex both look up like deer caught in headlights.

Erik Lehnsherr is standing in the hallway staring at them, his lips parted as if in shock. Behind him stands Charles, one hand over his mouth, his blue eyes shiny with amusement and embarrassment.

"Boys," Charles finally says, breaking the thick silence. "Try not to ruin the closet. Erik and I were just going, weren't we, Erik?"

Erik twitches slightly, closing his mouth and then saying, "Uh, yes. Yes, we were." The door swings shut without being touched, and Hank listens in silent horror as the two men flee the scene (admittedly, they flee in a very dignified and gentlemanly manner, but it's fleeing nonetheless).

"Oh, my God," he says, his voice about an octave higher than normal. The beastly side of Hank is tempted to chase after Erik and Charles and rip them limb-from-limb for interrupting, but the sweet, nerdy scientist side of him over-rides that particular urge and takes full control. And the sweet, nerdy scientist is mortified.

He pulls away from Alex, his hand flying to the doorknob, but Alex grabs him by the shoulders and jerks him back. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where do you think you're going?"

"Alex, we just got caught. By Erik. He and Charles are probably upstairs right now –,"

"Having sex."

"What?"

"Seriously, they're doing it twice as often as we are, it's so obvious. Now shut the hell up and get back over here, it's time to pop your closet-cherry."

"You are so vulgar. And oh, God, Erik and Charles –!"

"Are probably upstairs in Charles's study, 'playing chess'. Yeah, right. Now, seriously. Less talk, more making out."

The big, manly beast in Hank has to point out, who can argue with that?

. . . And the sweet, innocent scientist really has to agree. He really, really has to.

A/N: Why yes, I did use a song from Rocky Horror. Thanks for reading, reviews appreciated!