Author's Note: Thank you all for your great reviews. This story is winding down, there will just be two or three chapters after this one. I hope you enjoy!

"You want a soda?" Santana asked Danielle, who was resting her head on the counter in the Lopez kitchen. She didn't respond. "Yo, earth to Dani, you want a fucking soda or not?" She just shrugged. "What's up your ass, bitch?" Santana asked, popping the tab on her own Diet Coke and taking a swig. Danielle shrugged again.

"I want a beer."

"It's like, three in the afternoon." Danielle shrugged again.

"We're on Spring Break."

"So?"

"So, I'm bored, we're on Spring Break, why can't I have a drink?"

"Well, for one, if my parents catch us day-drinking they'll think you're some boozy depressed lesbian who's a terrible influence on their daughter, and two, Britt is coming by later and she will not be happy with me if I'm drunk when she gets here."

"What? Is she tired of dealing with your crying ass all the damn time?"

"Fuck you, Dani."

"Gladly," Danielle smirked at Santana.

"See, that's your problem. You need to get laid."

"No, I don't. I have all the ladies I need right here," Danielle said, gesturing to her fingers.

"You disgust me. Seriously, I don't even know why I hang out with you. You're like a female version of Puck or something."

"That douchy mohawked kid?" Danielle asked, incredulously. Santana gestured toward Danielle's hair. "This is not a Mohawk, Santana. This is a faux-hawk, and they're super trendy these days."

"So, now you think your Rihanna or something?"

"I've got the voice," Danielle grinned, "and the body," she said, joking running her arms down her sides.

"It's no wonder you don't have a girlfriend."

"Don't remind me," Danielle said, holding her head in her hands. "I think I'm just making it worse, hanging around you and Brittany all the time. It's just I can't deal with Jack…ever since we broke up and she got into Julliard and started dating Amy, I just can't be around them. And Lisa just makes it worse because she's still in love with Amy and somehow thinks that if we were to date it would make it okay, and Lisa is so not my type…"

"I guess all glee clubs are gross incestuous, huh?"

"Yeah, something about singing together makes everyone always want to get in everyone else's pants. And don't get me wrong, I obviously love you and Britt…it's just hard I guess, seeing a couple so damn happy…" Santana barely concealed the small smile playing on the corners of her lips. "It's like, I have had so many failed relationships…why can't anything ever work out for me?" Santana had never seen her friend so…vulnerable before. She always assumed that Danielle was like herself and had a shell that was nearly impossible to break. "And you're so happy. And Brittany was like, your fig, wasn't she?"

"What the fuck is a fig, Dani?" Danielle laughed.

"The girl who makes you say 'fuck, I'm gay'. Fig." Santana laughed out loud.

"You're like a fucking lesbian encyclopedia. Dyklopedia."

"Well, I've had some time to learn my lingo. Nobody ever ends up with their fig. Didn't anyone ever tell you that? Your fig is either supposed to be a celebrity, straight, or so far in the closet they'll never see the light of day. They break your heart, you go to college and sleep with lots of hot girls who slowly damage your self-esteem, so you turn to drugs in your mid-thirties and die. Or you get AIDS/Cancer and die. Or you get think you've met someone, get pregnant and they cheat on you. Someone probably dies."

"Well aren't you a ray of sunshine today. So glad I decided to spend my first afternoon of Spring Break with you."

"You should pick up a lesbian movie one of these days. They'll show you the ropes."

"I totally have an awesome idea." Santana said.

"I never know if I should actually be excited when you have an awesome idea or if I should be super nervous." Santana was no longer paying attention to her friend and was on quickly scrolling through her phone.

"Kurtsie."

"Santana. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I had an awesome idea."

"Great. I'm out."

"I know you're out. You've been out since you were in diapers."

"I mean I'm out as in not in on whatever your 'awesome' idea is this time."

"This is the best idea ever."

"Somehow I really find that hard to believe."

"It's the first day of Spring Break. You, me, Blaine, Brittany, and Dani are taking a roadtrip."

"A roadtrip to where?"

"Dayton."

"And why would I want to go to Dayton with a trio of lesbians?"

"Because we can get there in an hour and there are gay clubs." Santana said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I guess I could be into dancing."

"That's right, lady lips, call the bf, and hit me up. We can all get ready together over here." Santana hung up her phone. As if on cue, the front door to the Lopez's swung open.

"Santana!" Brittany called into the living room. "You have to come see all the clothes Rachel and I got today!"

"In the kitchen, babe." Santana called back.

"Why, hello, Santana," Rachel said as she and Brittany entered the kitchen, "and hello, Danielle, I didn't know you would be here today! I know that you didn't formally invite me into your house, Santana, but Brittany insisted that I come to show off our new purchases, since this was, of course, a joint mall venture," she continued with a huge grin on her face. Danielle laid her head on the countertop.

"Look, Berry, it's fine that you're here, as long as you don't talk. Understand?" Santana said. She was cut off by Brittany's lips on her own.

"Hi," Brittany said, pulling away.

"Hey," Santana said.

"I missed you," Brittany said.

"I missed you too," Santana replied.

"Oh my god," Danielle said. "I don't think this day can get any worse."

"What's with her?" Brittany asked. Santana shrugged.

"Dyke drama. As usual." They were interrupted by laughter in the hallway. Alexis and Daniel entered the kitchen, laughing.

"Alexis? What are you doing here?" Brittany asked, grinning at her sister. Santana raised an eyebrow.

"Math." She said.

"Well, well, well," Daniel said, stopping the conversation before his sister could ask any of the inappropriate questions he knew were on her lips. He was a Lopez too, after all. "If it isn't the lesbrigade, engaging in a little lesbionage this evening? Recruiting new members?" He asked, gesturing to Rachel.

"Fuck you. Do you think mom will let us go to Dayton tonight?"

"Why?"

"We wants to get our dance on."

"I want to come!"

"First of all, you look like your six, you'd never get in. Second of all, we're doing something gay, you wouldn't want to come."

"Fine. And your chances are pretty good, apparently Carlos is like on the verge of flunking out of college or something, so mom and dad have been pretty distracted."

"Awesome."

"You coming home tonight, Britt?" Alexis asked.

"Probably not," Brittany said with the hint of sadness in her voice.

"How are things, over at casa de Pierce?" Dani asked, looking over at the sisters.

"Better, I guess." Brittany said.

"We just don't talk about it."

"Yeah. I guess that's it. Nobody says anything bad, but we just pretend it doesn't exist. The other day we were watching some crime show and one of the cops revealed that she was a lesbian and the whole room got silent. Not nice silent, like you could hear a pin in a haystack. Like the room was stuffed with marshmallows and it's completely silent but you can't breath." Santana smiled slightly at her girlfriend's choice of words. She certainly had a…creative…mind, and it did get the point across.

"I think they're trying, Britt," Alexis said, softly.

"I know," Brittany replied.

"How about we order some pizza before we get ready?" Santana asked, trying to lighten the mood. Brittany nodded excitedly and Santana pushed the speed dial on the phone before the rest of the kids could agree.

Maria arrived a couple of hours later, her cell phone plastered to her ear, yelling loudly at Carlos in Spanish. She stopped mid-sentence when she took in the sight of the house. There were six empty pizza boxes scattered in the kitchen and the living room. The couches and the floor and the table were scattered with various clothes and shoes were all over the ground. She could hear Kurt's distinctive voice yelling about "wearing blue so your eyes will pop". Alexis, Daniel and some of their friends had the TV on at ear-splitting levels while they played video games, and there was loud music blaring out of Santana's room.

"Ay dios mio! When will they graduate and get the hell out of here already?"

"Mami? Mami?" She heard on the other end of her forgotten phone conversation. Oh, right, she thought to herself. That wasn't going to make it any better…just then Dr. Lopez walked through the front door. She pointed at him. He looked back at her, wide-eyed.

"What?" He asked.

"You did this!"

"I've been working all day!" He said, looking at the mess of his house.

"NO." She said, approaching him with her finger still pointed at her husband. "You. Did. This. 'Let's have a baby, Maria,'" she said, in a mocking voice, "'think about how much fun it would be to have a mini-us, Maria. Christian needs a sibling, Maria. Wouldn't it be nice to have a baby girl, Maria?'" She gestured around the room. "You. Did. This." Before she could continue, Santana came jogging down the hall.

"Mami, I was wondering if it would be okay if we went to Dayton tonight since it's the first day of Spring Break and we're all over 18 and we'll be really quiet when we get back and I promise to make sure that everyone sleeps in bedrooms and not in the kitchen and that we'll be safe?" Santana waited with bated breath.

"Santana, I really don't have the time—" Maria began.

"As long as it's fine with everyone's parents, it's fine with us, Santana," he said, smiling as his daughter's face broke out into a huge grin as she ran back to her room. Maria turned back to face him with a scowl. "And that, my dear, is why we have children. Did you ever think we'd see a grin like that on our little girl again?" He said, pulling Maria in for a hug.

"It's true. She's so happy lately."

"She's in love." He replied. Maria nodded into her husband. "And she's learning to love herself." Maria looked down at her phone.

"Carlos hung up. I'm never going to get him back on the line," she said, breaking away from her husband and wandering into the kitchen. Dr. Lopez headed back to his office, leaning his hand on the banister before he passed by the stairs.

"SANTANA?" He yelled.

"Yes, papi?" She yelled back.

"No way you're going out of the house in that dress. Get changed into something decent." He grinned as he heard her groan and continued his way down the hall.

"Oh my god. I can't believe it got worse…I didn't think it was possible," Danielle mumbled to herself from the seats in the very back of Kurt's car. Santana broke her kiss with Brittany.

"Would you rather this, or I spy?" Santana asked.

"THIS!" Everyone yelled. Everyone except for Danielle.

"That's easy for you guys to say. You don't have to sit back here next to them."

"Danielle," Rachel turned around in her seat, "as much as I hate to subject you to being in the crosshairs of…that…" she nodded her head toward Brittany and Santana who had resumed making out, "I don't think the rest of us would survive another minute of I spy." Danielle leaned toward Rachel, reducing her voice to a whisper.

"I know, but…Santana keeps…she keeps making this weird noise."

"The chicken noise." Sam said, loudly. Kurt shivered in disgust from his seat at the steering wheel.

"It's totally disturbing." Karofsky said, turning around.

"I mean, she never made it when we were together…" Sam trailed off.

"Listen, ladies," Santana finally chimed in, again breaking her kiss with Brittany. "One. I can hear everything you bitches are saying about me, has anyone ever informed you about a little thing called volume control? Two. I'm the one who planned this gay little party bus to Dayton, so you best be thanking me. I don't even know how you two homos heard about it," she said, gently slapping the backs of Sam and Karofky's heads, "and Berry is only here because she happened to be at my house, uninvited, while plans were being made. Three. I am going to say this once, and I'm never going to say it again. I. Do not. Make. A. Chicken. Noise. End of story."

"Aw, it's kind of cute, Santana," Brittany said, nudging Santana's shoulder. Everyone else in the car tried their best to not snicker.

"Fine. Hey, Britt-Britt. What do you say we get back to that game?"

"Yay!" Brittany clapped. "I spy something black."

"The road." Santana replied.

"I spy something hot."

"Me," Santana grinned with a smirk.

"I hate you, Danielle," Kurt said, glancing at Danielle in his rearview mirror.

"Beats the fucking chicken noise," Danielle said, mostly to herself.

"Berry, I'm surprised you have a fake ID," Santana said as they all successfully entered the bar.

"Noah got it for me. He said that no respectable teenager didn't possess a fake ID, although I have to admit, I didn't have an opportunity to use it before now."

"That's shocking," Santana replied. "Also shocking is why you'd want to come with us on this homo-excursion, Berry."

"Well, if you must know, Santana, I have never considered myself a part of the hetero-normative and have always wondered what it would be like to…you know…"

"Spit it out, Rainbow-Brite…"

"Get my gay on, if you will."

"You know I will, Berry," Santana said with a wink, pulling Brittany closer to her by her waist.

"I can't find Dani anywhere," a concerned Santana said to Brittany who was too busy dancing to really pay attention to what Santana was saying. "Kurt, I'm going to go find Dani, but I swear to god, you let any ladies near her and I will show you how we do in Lima Heights. You'll wish you had never seen the pretty light of day."

"Santana, honey, I just came from your house. I've been there many times. I saw Dr. Lopez as we left. The gig us up. We know you're not from the other side of the tracks. But…since I'm nice…I will keep an eye on your girlfriend and make sure that none of these scary lesbians gets near."

"Thanks, Porcelain."

"You're welcome, Satan."

Santana wandered around by herself at the bar looking for Dani. She checked the bathroom and finally decided to check out back. Dani was sitting on the curb smoking a cigarette. She saw Santana out of the corner of her eye and offered her the box of American Spirits.

"Don't tell Britt, okay?" Santana asked, lighting the cigarette. "What are you doing out here, Dani?"

"I'm sad," Dani said, simply, taking a drag off of her cigarette. "I'm lonely and it's sad to see all these happy couples who have everything."

"You have a lot of stuff, Dani."

"Like what?"

"Well for one, you're smokin' hot. You're a great singer and dancer, you're going to NYU next year, I'd say you're pretty much a catch."

"Then why am I alone?"

"Maybe everyone else is just too stupid to see how awesome you are. You know, I envy you sometimes." Dani looked up at Santana skeptically.

"You're kidding, right. You're the hottest girl I've ever seen in real-life and you're dating the second hottest girl I've ever seen in real life. You have a phenomenal voice, and you're about to go conquer the world." Santana smirked.

"I mean, all of that is obviously true. But…" Santana took a drag of her cigarette and looked at the ground. "I don't like myself most of the time. I'm a bitch, I'm manipulative, I'm afraid of anyone seeing who I am. You're not afraid of anything, Dani. Sometimes, I wish with all my might that I could just make this gayness go away and be normal. Don't get me wrong, I love Brittany. I don't like being different though."

"You're getting so much better though, Santana." Santana nodded.

"I'm trying. It helps, being around you. Seeing you so out and proud." Santana stomped on her cigarette. "Let's go inside, get some tequila, and get you a girl, okay?" Dani nodded. Santana dragged Dani inside. She found Brittany dancing with Blaine and dragged both of them over to the bar. "It's time for tequila!" Santana said, getting shots for everyone.

"Should we get Rachel?" Dani asked.

"I think she's busy," Brittany said, gesturing to Rachel who was grinding on the dance floor with a tall blond. Santana raised her eyebrow but decided to ignore it as she downed her first of many shots of the night.

Maria was prepared for anything as she left her bedroom the next morning. She'd allowed her daughter and her friends to go to a bar in Dayton, she figured she really deserved whatever was coming to her. She peeked in the guest room, the door wasn't completely shut. Kurt, Sam, and David Karofsky were cuddled together under a blanket. She walked past her daughter's room. She considered poking the door open, but decided she'd rather not see whatever was going on in there since Brittany was not in the guest room. She walked downstairs. Dani, Rachel, and an unknown woman were curled up on the pull-out couch. Maria sighed. For once, Santana had kept her promise of getting everyone to some sort of bed. She went into the kitchen and put the coffee pot on. She was startled by a sound underneath the kitchen table.

"Mrs. Lopez."

"Blaine. You really love it under there, don't you?" Blaine shrugged bashfully.

"You wouldn't happen to know where my daughter and Brittany are, would you?" Blaine turned red.

"Well, they were…talking…really intensely on our way back, and I think they finished that…talk…in Santana's room."

"Thanks for being honest, Blaine." Maria said. "You know there's a pull-out couch in the basement. You should take it and get some real sleep."

"Thanks, Mrs. Lopez."

Over the next couple of hours the kids slowly awoke and began milling around the Lopez house, pouring tall glass of water and cans of diet soda and dry toast. When one-o-clock passed and Santana and Brittany still hadn't emerged, Maria thought it was time to check on them. She knocked lightly on the door.

"Come in!" yelled Brittany's voice. Well that was a surprise. She pushed the door open. Brittany was sitting on the edge of Santana's bed rubbing Santana's back.

"No more yelling." Santana croaked out.

"Rough night?" Maria whispered.

"Santana doesn't feel so good," Brittany said.

"Well that should teach her to go out drinking!" Maria said loudly.

"Mami," Santana whined, turning her head to her mother, "please, please stop yelling."

"Is that a black eye, young lady?" Maria asked.

"Santana got in a fight," Brittany whispered.

"That bitch was hitting on you! I was defending your honor!" Santana croaked out.

"Well, your friends are starting to leave. Dani has to drive that young woman back to Dayton," Brittany smirked, "and everyone else has plans for the first full day of their Spring Break. Did you want to say goodbye?"

"Tell them to get the hell out of my house," Santana said. "And tell Dani 'you're welcome' from me. And now please, mami, please, let me sleep." Maria chuckled and shut her daughter's door to relay her message. She could tell Santana that she wouldn't be taking anymore roadtrips to Dayton until the summertime and that she was grounded for breaking the open door rule again when her daughter felt a little better. For now, she'll let her sleep.