Mist, Act 8

'When Soubi first kissed me it was forced. Seimei forced him to 'love'. Soubi forced me to kiss. But even so, I'm glad I have felt what kisses are like. And honestly, right now I don't have anyone I would have rather given my first kiss to. Not that I would prefer a kiss from Soubi because of him.. but because who else could it be from? Yuiko? No. Osamu? No, they are just friends, well so is Soubi but somehow he's different. So who else? Everyone else I know is an adult or has someone else by their side. Soubi may be an adult but he seems to be quite alone, even I can tell that much. Seimei used to kiss me so I suppose in a way, Soubi was not my first. Seimei's kisses were very real but they were a love between brothers. It seems like kisses from others are something else. But I do wish that that first kiss had been like all the ones that followed. A few days after I met him, Soubi's lips softened. It didn't feel as forced, except of course I was technically still being forced to kiss him.'

Soubi still forces me to kiss him, but I think he somewhat knows what I'm feeling, otherwise he might've listened all the times I tell him to stop harassing me. I like the taste of his lips and the feel of his warmth. I like it when my heart drops into my stomach leaving behind a tingling trail, but I know it's wrong. That Soubi shouldn't love me, that I'm too shy, that love isn't something I know the existence of, that I should only love Seimei, and Soubi, too, should only love Seimei. Why was his order so contradicting?'

When Soubi kisses me, it almost feels like he is nervous like he's apprehensive and shouldn't be doing what he's doing. At the same time he is sure of his self and guides the kiss, because he knows I can't (or won't) and because he wants it. His nervousness isn't just apprehension though, it's almost similar to what I feel. Shy, inexperienced, lost. I wonder if Soubi does feel like that. I wonder if he would ever tell me, and if he would tell me why. But still, underneath it all, in Soubi's kisses I feel Soubi.'

Sometimes he is chaste like now, that makes me want to join, to kiss back, and feebly I do. While wondering if he can even feel that I try. If he can feel how much his lips lure me in even though I tell myself not to be caught. Afterward I'm embarrassed, not just because he kissed me, but because I kissed him.'

The other times that Soubi kisses me, are when he kisses deep, when sometimes he even enters my mouth. Those kisses make me blush, and I know it, I can feel the red embarrassment. They make me blush because it's so new, because a weird feeling wakes up in my chest. It startles me but prompts me to act and come closer to him. I try to brush it away. I shouldn't be getting feelings like that, I just shouldn't. When Soubi kisses me deep my stomach turns, like a knot squeezing my desires in. But the knot doesn't hurt, it's filling, pleasurable. When he leans into me I want to lean away and forward more at the same time. But he never lets his tongue linger in my mouth for more than a moment, flicking around the dark cavern of my mouth and then pulling away. When his tongue flicks my lips I want to hold them tight together and refuse it but I also want to open my mouth and invite him in. And I do, I do both. Sometimes I give in and lean further into him. Sometimes I lean away, breaking off a kiss neither of us was ready to break away, and then I scold him, I scold him to hide the fact that I wasn't ready to face myself and how ashamed I am of it. Sometimes when Soubi kisses me I open my mouth before his tongue asks it too, and he seems so happy afterwards, like I had just given him the best present I could. And I blush, because his joyous smile is the best thing he could've given me. Sometimes Soubi flicks his tongue across my lips with such gentle passion that my whole body aches, but some of those times I won't allow it to enter. I keep my lips closed. And as if he knows what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling, he rubs his tongue along my lips, the bumpy surface begging for entrance as it pokes further out from his mouth and runs the length of my lips, playing with the weak corners but never pushing too harsh, but I know it's not begging it's really just asking me to give in. Because really, I love it when Soubi kisses me.'

With Soubi's chaste kiss broke away they both inhaled sharp breaths, as if they had been holding in their air while they connected for that short time. Ritsuka's thoughts were driving him to a breaking point. Lust and disapproval deeply clouding his vision, it confused him so much. This kiss and his immodest thoughts caused a deep blush to join the wrenching feeling in his chest and the confusion in his already weak body.

Soubi had smiled at him and said the words Ritsuka loved and hated the most. Soubi had a longing in his face as if his thoughts were urging him to say more, to do more, but he wouldn't. He knew that when he could hold back he shouldn't push Ritsuka too far, because he might fall off the edge.

Soubi didn't move for a while, his face smiling down at Ritsuka, his hand pressing the wound at the boy's chest. He was savoring the feeling deep inside. It made him never want to move, never want to leave this boy. It wasn't just love plaguing him, it was also affection. Deep inside he felt such strong affection, it encased his love, made his whole body beat with his heart. Affection, love, new feelings to Soubi. 'I have never felt like this before, is this love, ..Seimei?' Quickly Soubi brushed away his thoughts, no longer caring what Seimei's opinion or order may be.

"I will protect you Ritsuka,"

The words further provoked the boys blush, "I know." He responded with sincerity. "I know.."

"I love you Ritsuka."

And then Ritsuka started to cry.

The sight of his tears almost caused Soubi's eyes to also spill. At first he was stunned. He thought, 'What did I do? Why does he cry?' But then he realized. Weakness, pain, love, anxiety, strain, all of it was building up inside of the boy.

Avoiding his torso and the last open cut, Soubi hugged Ritsuka the best he could, "You are so strong." He whispered, thoroughly meaning the words. He placed a reassuring kiss on Ritsuka's head, as tears kept flowing from the boy's eyes. Ritsuka couldn't bear to look at Soubi not while he was bawling like that, so he shut his eyelids with tears still escaping and savored his Fighter's words. They enveloped him, caramelizing around his being, caressing him.

"In due time Ritsuka, all in due time..." Soubi spoke the words wistfully. His meaning was clear. 'Take your time. I would never rush you.'

Reaching up Ritsuka looped his arms around Soubi's neck and pulled himself closer. He nuzzled in Soubi's warmth, feeling his strong muscles, his hair, his bandages, Soubi. The smell that Ritsuka loved the most invaded him. 'Why do I love this smell?' He never wanted to leave.

Soubi savored the boy's hug, but knew he shouldn't. Still, the hug was enticing, Ritsuka's soft cute kitten ears and fluffy hair rubbing against his face and neck, were nearly impossible to neglect.

"Ritsuka…" Soubi's voice had an amorous tone to its whisper. Ritsuka nuzzled closer at the sound of his name. Soubi couldn't help but wonder if the new display of affection was an advancement or Ritsuka was just delirious from blood loss. He sighed deeply and pushed his hands out, prying the cute boy away from him, "You'll hurt yourself if you move like that. I have to finish."

"Then," Soubi added with a smile, "we can cuddle all you want." Ritsuka blushed a little, his pale skin giving away to light pink. He felt dizzy and wasn't really sure what he was doing, except that holding onto Soubi made him felt safe and comfortable.

Soubi ensured Ritsuka was flat on the bed before beginning on the last cut... again. The blood had stopped flowing from it due to the small spell, the pressure, and time. So he cleaned it out again, and began to carefully mend it. This time, though, Ritsuka wasn't watching the flux of Soubi's body, his eyes had drifted closed. The boy remained awake but barely so. Despite the long hours of sleep he had had the past few days, he was exhausted. So instead of watching he soaked in the feelings and sounds through closed eyes. Soubi's heat hovering over him, the gentle brush of his hand as it stitched, his palm resting off to the side with forceps, and his faraway pulse that Ritsuka could just barely hear. It may have come through his large hands or Ritsuka may have just imagined it but he thought it was something else, 'Maybe,' he mused, 'this is the beginning of our bond.' Ritsuka never had the chance to ask Soubi though, because he passed out soon after.

x

"Ritsuka ...Ritsuka …Ritsuka, wake up Ritsuka." The boy was softly being shaken awake. As he came to, a deep voice seemed to come into focus more and more, until he realized who it was. Soubi.

"Sou..bi?" Ritsuka questioned, even though he was already positive that was who had woken him. He reached up a weak arm to touch the man as his sight came into focus.

Soubi sighed deeply with relief and took hold of Ritsuka's outstretched hand, enveloping it in his own. "Ritsuka.. you.. fell asleep. I couldn't.. wake you.. I thought..." Soubi deep voice was broken and distressed, but he was relieved to have Ritsuka awaken.

With a deep frown Ritsuka reached out his other hand and brushed a thumb across Soubi's cheek. "It's fine now.. I just, I think I blacked out." The last thing he could remember was blinking away sleep while Soubi was still working on his last cut.

He was not able to adjust to the strong amounts of emotion Soubi had suddenly started to reveal since Ritsuka became injured. It was evident that Soubi tried to hide his distress. But it was still very, very visible, at least to Ritsuka it was. "You were worried." Ritsuka solemnly pointed out.

Soubi sighed, a little lighter this time, and agreed with a nervous chuckle, "Yes I was very worried." He let go of Ritsuka's hand and ensnared the hand on his face. He cupped his larger hand around the small one and stared into Ritsuka's eyes. A soft smile overtook Soubi's face as he gazed upon Ritsuka, the sight of which made Ritsuka smile a little bit too. And then-

"Soubiiii!" Youji called out.

"Hey Loveless!" Natsuo yelled, storming in the apartment after his brother.

"Soubi! How long does it take you to put a freakin' bandage on the kid! We can only hang laundry for so long!"

"Yeah, what do you think you are doing? Playing with your boy-toy while we sit outside and freeze!"

Their rants were ignored, and all Soubi replied back with was, "You cannot feel the temperature, besides it's rather warm out today."

"Hhmpf! We don't need your weather forecasts.." With that Natsuo and Youji fled to their video games.

"Oh! Loveless wanna play with us?" Natsuo inquired.

Ritsuka shook his head no, saying that he was tired and would rather rest for now.

"Ohoho! Soubi tired you out huh? I knew he wasn't just bandaging you." Natsuo teased with a wink as his twin giggled.

Ritsuka blushed a little but Soubi brushed some hair out of his face and reminded him to just ignore the noisy twins. Ritsuka lay in bed for a short while but was unable to sleep.

x

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A/n: Thankyou!

Edited: 3/2/12- Writing