Disclaimer: If I did, it would seriously be messed up...
A/N: This chapter was pretty easy to write. Maybe because of a few things that relate to what's going on in my head...maybe not. Maybe it's because I'm a lot like Jade in these situations. Maybe. Did anyone notice that every time I skip time, it's always 'two days', 'two weeks', 'two months'? I don't know why I choose the number two, but it just sounds better than any other number when counting time, doesn't it? No? Whatever. And before you read, I really dragged this chapter out because I needed to get a lot of Jade out before certain things are done.
Enjoy.
Chapter 3
Why does my life have to be a living hell?
No, let me rephrase that. Why does Vega have to make my life a living hell? Alright, so maybe I made her make my life hell, but that's not an excuse. I've tried to forget about her. I've told myself that it's never going to happen, that her parents will make sure she never speaks to me again, and what really makes no sense whatsoever, after I've hated the girl since she came into my life, is that I don't want that to happen. I want to be able to talk to her, to hang out with her, and you know what? Fuck Beck. If the asshole's going to break up with me for something stupid, fuck him. I don't need him. And I don't need the rest of the guys who say they're my 'friends' because they're not. If they were, they would be here, right?
But the only one who has been here is Cat, and she's been torn up since Wednesday night, when she went over to Vega's and was yelled at by the last person anyone would ever suspect to hurt Cat. That's sort of really messed up. I wouldn't even hurt Cat or yell at her. How could anyone? But I get that Vega's been a little on edge, after being arrested and sentenced to this, and then her parents are forcing her to shut me out, even though there's no way in hell we're going to get in trouble like that again. So it's Friday after school, and I'm sitting in my room with Cat, who finally told me everything that happened between her and Tori.
Vega wants to forget everything. She wants to just forget that everything happened, that we kissed, that I was the one who dragged her out of the house in the middle of the night to hit a house, which resulted in her hitting an elderly woman instead, and she just wants to forget that she has feelings for me, and that's really fucked up because she didn't even want me to know. And now that I do, she hates it. Trina can be blamed for that, for running her mouth, and I have to agree with Vega. If she hadn't said anything, I wouldn't know, and Vega and I wouldn't be in this stupid messed up friendship…or whatever you want to call it. We can't be friends, at least not the way everyone else can see.
I gave Vega a choice. Either she can forget everything, or she can just say 'fuck it' and do whatever she wants, despite the consequences. Okay, look, I know it's my fault that she's in this mess, that she's in trouble, and I don't want her in any more trouble, but this is ridiculous. She just needs to get over it and fucking do something worthwhile, something she won't care if she gets in trouble for. And if that's just talking to me, I'm fine with that. I'm going crazy not talking to her, and I hate that. I used to be able to go days without talking to her, but now…now I'm stuck on talking to her because I can't. And I hate when I can't do something.
I direct my attention to the television, where colors are swirling around in some weird cartoon movie that Cat brought over to make herself feel better, but she's really not even watching it. She's cuddled close to me, her head on my chest and her arms around my waist. Sometimes she's like a child, and she'll be peaceful like this, clinging onto me while we watch some strange movie that I don't care too much for, mostly because the movies she brings over are rated G or something, and they're usually too childish for me. But I watch them with her until she falls asleep or something because I can sit here and think and not have to worry about hearing her talk about anything.
I sigh, knowing I'm not going to be able to get up anytime soon, not with the girl's death grip holding me down on my bed. And it's the most innocent thing in the world, simply because it's Cat. I'm still pissed off that Vega hurt her like that. It's one thing for Cat to show up on my front doorstep to hang out and be completely random, but it's another when she shows up at three in the morning, crying her eyes out and it just hurts to see her like that. And I can't incriminate Vega because she's under a lot of stress, but the fact that she was capable…it's wrong.
Because it's already dark in my room, I don't realize it's late until I glance over at my alarm clock and take in the fact that it's one in the morning. And I don't mind Cat staying the night because she usually does when she's upset, but I really need to get up. My back is stiff and I feel like I've been pounded down to a small size with a hammer. The girl would be able to sleep through an earthquake, so it'd be no problem actually getting out of the bed. There's just the small matter that her arms are crushing me. Seriously, the girl's size is deceiving. She's not as weak as she looks.
I manage to pry her arms from around my waist, taking a deep breath and wincing from the discomfort, before slipping out of bed and heading downstairs to the kitchen. I haven't eaten since school, and Cat wasn't hungry enough to make popcorn or anything for, so we just didn't eat. I notice Cat's cell phone is on the counter in the kitchen, left there from when we came into the house, and I wonder why she left it down here instead of taking it upstairs to my room with her. Unlocking it, I notice she only has one text message and raise my brow at the sender. I know I shouldn't do this because it's an invasion of Cat's privacy, but I want to know why Vega texted her.
Cat, I'm really sorry for the other night. Please forgive me.
Of course Vega would be unable to live with herself if she didn't apologize to Cat, and Cat would forgive her, and that would be that. That's just how Vega and Cat work, and it's disgustingly sweet. But what's even more disgusting is that I can't stay away from either one. I mark the message as unread and lock the phone, setting it back on the counter. Cat will see it when she uses her phone in the morning, but for now, Vega's going to have to wait.
Opening the fridge, I grab sandwich ingredients and make two sandwiches, in the off-chance that Cat will actually be awake and hungry enough in the next few minutes to eat. I'm usually not one to do anything for someone else, but Cat is the exception, and I mean the only exception to that. With the plate in one hand and two sodas hooked between my fingers, I head up the stairs to my room to find the lamp turned on next to my bed on the table. My bed is empty, meaning Cat probably went down the hall to the bathroom.
I'm halfway through my sandwich when she returns, half-asleep, and takes the other sandwich. I open both sodas and hand her one, and she murmurs her thanks while taking a bite of her late night snack. Some people think that when Cat has sugar she'll become a hundred times more hyper than usual. That really does depend on how she already feels, like now. In her tired state, upset as she was, she won't be too bad, and she'll probably end up going right back to sleep. But if she's bubbly or happy about something and has sugar, she'll probably end up bouncing off the walls. People just don't understand her, and I don't think they even try, to be honest.
She glances at the clock before looking to me questionably. I nod, letting her know she can stay, and she smiles faintly before finishing her sandwich. This isn't a time for talking, not right now when we're both enjoying the silence. There's a quiet crash, and it almost scares the hell out of us until we remember the movie playing on the TV. At least I had turned it down a while ago so that I could think without listening to the slamming and crashing going on. Seriously, why are some cartoons so violent and still rated G? That makes, like, no sense.
We end up watching another movie, this time Cat staying awake for the entire thing, and she finally gives up on movies around three thirty. I turn the TV off and she curls against me, this time her grip loose and not crushing me. She's asleep within minutes, but I'm stuck awake, wondering what Vega's final choice is going to be. Knowing her, she'll be the good girl and just ignore everything, and I'll lose her. She's a goody two-shoes, and it can't be helped. Well, it could be, but let's just say that's already been tried and we're both suffering from the consequences.
I don't remember going to sleep, but Cat is gone when I wake up around nine, and I sigh, wondering if she went home. It's always a game of chance when I wake up after Cat stays the night because sometimes she actually will be completely gone from the house in the morning, or she'll be downstairs in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal or something. Honestly, I don't know why the girl doesn't just move in. She knows this house almost as well as I do, and my father never complains about her when they're both here at the same time. For a man who hates what I want to do with my life, he seems to accept Cat pretty well, plus he never says anything bad about her, whether she's here or not.
I change my clothes and straighten my hair before I go downstairs. I'm unsurprised by Cat's position at the kitchen table, bent over a bowl of cereal while watching Saturday cartoons, and I can't help but smile while I pour my own bowl of milk and cereal, sitting next to her. She doesn't speak at first, nor does she look at me, and I know she'll wait until the first commercial before she will. And judging by the clock, that should be any minute now.
I manage a few spoons of cereal before she turns to face me. And I know what she'll say. She saw her phone as soon as she came down here this morning and she wants to tell me that Vega apologized to her. I already know that, but I can't let her know that I already saw the text message. "Tori apologized this morning," she says, just like I knew she would.
I nod, trying to pass off nonchalance. Right now I really don't want to talk about Vega, but she's going to make me, and she's going to wonder if I'm going to do anything about the way I feel about her. I have to wonder why Cat's being like this. She usually gets over something in a few hours, days at most, but this has been going on for a while. She just hasn't been so strong about it until now and it's kind of scary. "And what did you say? Do you forgive her?"
Cat bites her bottom lip and looks down at her bowl of mostly milk. That look can't be good, not on Cat's face. "I called her back and told her that I forgive her, but I told her that I'm not going to talk to her again until she talks to you." She said what? Cat sighs. "Don't look at me like that, Jade. You two need to talk, and at this point I don't care if you do get together or whatever, but you need to talk. At least do that much."
"Why should I talk to her?" I ask her, and I really don't know what she wants me to say. I'm so tired of ignoring and being ignored when it comes to Vega, and I agree with Cat that I need to talk to her, but I won't let Cat know that. "What do you want me to say to her, Cat? I'm pretty sure she's not going to talk to me because I know the way she is. She's too afraid to get into any more trouble, and she'll do what her parents say. She'll do anything to avoid leaving Hollywood Arts."
The red-headed girl stares at me with a frown. She knows I'm right, she has to, because we both know that Tori Vega will do anything to avoid getting in trouble again, even if she has to be absolutely miserable. "Why don't you just talk to her, Jade?"
"I gave her a choice, Cat. I told her to tell me on Monday what her choice is. So…just give us until then. Everything is up to her now." And it really is because I'm not going to force her to do anything. I just have to live with whatever she decides to do.
Two days later…
It's five o'clock Monday morning and Cat stayed all weekend at my house. She hasn't mentioned anything about Vega at all since Saturday morning, except a possible hint last night, but it was so vague and she didn't use Vega's name, so it's possible she was just talking about the show we were watching. I'm pretty messed up, if I'm associating everything I hear with Tori Vega. Cat's still sleeping in my bed, whereas I'm sitting at my desk, writing some random note for Vega, although I don't know why, but it makes me sound like some bored, lovesick teenager that wants to be with her.
God, what's wrong with me? I just want to talk to the damn girl, not confess any feelings for her. And what if I do? What if I slip up and say some stupid thing that I'm thinking right now. That could ruin everything, especially since I told her to get over me. Well, that doesn't matter anymore anyway because Cat's already told her that we belong together or some weird thing, maybe even used that sweet and sour sauce analogy she used with me.
Why am I even thinking about this? I should be focused on school and what's going to happen when I get there. Is Vega going to tell me she's just going to ignore everything, she's going to get over me, and she'll never talk to me again? Or is she going to tell me she's going to ignore what her parents want her to do and actually do what she wants for herself? I shouldn't be nervous about this, but for some reason I am.
Maybe I'm only doing this because I feel bad that Vega has to deal with consequences from my initial actions. Maybe I actually do care and I'm listening to Cat's strangely rational advice that I have no idea how she was able to give. Or maybe…maybe I'm just stupid and this is some stupid joke. Maybe it's nothing and I'm just thinking too much into everything.
Cat stirs on the bed and I glance over my shoulder at her. She sits up and stares sleepily at me through the dim light from my lamp in front of me before rubbing her eyes. She glances at the clock. "Jade, what are you doing awake so early? We don't have to get up for another two hours. Is everything alright? One time my brother…" And the regular Cat is back. I'm lost, catching bits and pieces of what she's saying, until she giggles and tilts her head at me. Where has this Cat been hiding? "What are you doing, Jade?"
"I'm trying to figure out if you're okay. You're normal again." She beams and breaks into some story about how she's feeling better, which leads into a story about how when her brother was feeling better…Yeah, I'm just as confused as I was five minutes ago. "I couldn't sleep," I say once I'm sure she's done talking. "I had a weird dream so I've just been sitting here for the past hour. Why don't you go back to sleep and rest until seven? I'll wake you up."
She nods and lies back down, pulling the blanket under her chin. Cat really is adorable, but if she stays up, she'll whip up a storm at school and no one wants to deal with that Cat. Believe me, it's not a pretty sight. She crashes just like an energy drink if she doesn't get enough sleep. I finish the note I'm writing at fifteen to seven and go head downstairs to the backyard with a lighter in one hand. Vega won't ever see this because I don't want it known that I ever wrote it. I just needed something to do to get my mind off of things, even though writing a note certainly isn't the best way, but this was nothing. Holding the note away from me, I flick the lighter and bring the flame to the corner of the note.
"Jade, what are you doing?" I jump, burning my thumb with the lighter and curse, dropping the note and the lighter and turning to face Cat, who's dressed for school. I would ask her why she's down here, but she answers before I have the chance. "I woke up and you weren't in the room, so I got dressed and came downstairs because I thought you were eating, but you weren't, so I looked through the whole house, and you're back here, and is that a lighter? Why do you have a lighter? Oh no, you're thumb is blistering! Did you burn yourself?"
She grabs my wrist, going on about burns and blisters and as soon as she sticks my thumb under the cold water in the kitchen sink, I bite my lip hard to keep from showing any sign of pain. Normally pain's my thing, but Cat doesn't like it so I don't do it in front of her. She doesn't understand why I like it so much. She points toward the stairs like a mother, and I oblige, heading upstairs.
In a matter of thirty minutes, I'm driving the both of us to school, a bandage around my thumb for Cat's sake and my displeasure, and we head inside to our lockers. But as soon as I reach mine, I remember something about this morning. Something about Vega standing at her locker, glancing in my direction, made me remember, and I freeze with my hand on my combination lock. When I had gone upstairs after burning my thumb, Cat had stayed downstairs for ten minutes. She knew what I was doing. And I didn't bother to check before we came to school.
Cat doesn't know what that note said…does she?