Brad..the piano guy. How do you even begin to explain Brad the piano guy?
Puck: Brad is flawless. He never needs preparation or even sheet music. Wait, why is that? People just start singing and he always knows what song they're gonna sing...Is he a mind reader? That'd be so cool.
Artie: I hear he owns like, only one outfit but has like, 10 pianos.
Kurt: I hear nobody knows his last name. Or maybe he doesn't have one, he's like a witch or something, that's why he always wears black. Looks quite good on him, fashion knows no gender, after all.
Mike: ...So I'm allowed to speak now or...?
Rachel: One time he heard me sing, and I was outstanding as per usual.
Finn: Who's Brad?
Pedo-Will: What? I'm not a pedo, who said I was a pedophile? I didn't sleep with any of the students, and that one time I kissed Holly in front of the kids was just in the heat of the moment. Plus I only overheard Finn in the shower and came closer to get a better view- I mean to get a better listen, it wasn't a big deal or anything. I didn't watch him shower...well, not for long at least.
Santana: One time I told him he was furniture, and he just shrugged. Who the fuck does he think he is? Does he know where I'm from? Lima Heights Adjacent, he wouldn't be shrugging if he saw what goes down there, BAD THINGS.
Brittany: One time I said hi to him, and he said hi back. It was totally awesome.
Everyone strolled in, and as usual, Brad was already there, with his game face on, ready to take on playing his beloved piano. Or maybe he's planning to kill them all in their sleep, who knows what he does outside piano playing. Stay tuned and you might find out.
"I havez something I wants to say, pedo-Wi..um, I mean, Mr Schue." Santana said almost immediately as she took her usual seat next to Brittany. All while their pinkies were tightly intertwined. How fucking cute is that?
"Um, Santana, it's actually 'have'-" Blaine started to correct the girl, wow, he must be new, Kurt shhhed him quickly. "Blaine, you don't ever correct Santana's grammar. That's like, social suicide."
"Yep, sure, go ahead." Pedo-Will nodded, highly appreciating that green dress she was wearing. Damn, did it get shorter? Not that he paid attention or anything. Because he was madly in love with Emma, whose OCD is just so cute.
Santana stood up and faced Brittany, smiling lovingly at the girl (everyone, you all better be d'awww-ing right now. SAY 'AWW' OR ELSE).
"Brittany, you are my best friend. You know that right?"
The blonde nodded enthusiastically.
"I should've done this a long time ago, but I get butterflies when I look into your eyes. You're constantly on my mind. The days spent without you suck so bad, but the nights pass in a blissful blur of conversation and dreams. You were my first kiss, my first love. The only one that matters, that ever mattered. And I want to be with you, together, forever. You are the yin to my yang, or the yang to my yin, whatever. You complete me, I love you."
...
"Meh, my proposal was ten times better, Santana." Kurt said in a matter-of-fact tone. And Blaine smiled in that lovestruck, dreamy way you do when your boyfriend proposed to you (in front of thousands, in a stadium, and it was to join the freakin Glee club. Not to join him at McKinley, not to go on some holiday, not to move in together, but to join the Glee club. Whatever, details, details).
"I thought you were already dating...?" Artie, that little fucker. Call Santana a bitch, but she wanted to punch that kid in the face everytime she saw him. Calling her Brits stupid...like, bad move bro. BAD. FUCKING. MOVE.
Quinn rolled her eyes, "Wow, Santana, did you copy that out of a book? Really though, you complete me? You stole a line from Tom Cruise. That was just...I know you didn't even take second grade English or whatever, but that was just like bad fanfiction."
"It doesn't matter Santana, I thought it was beautiful." Brittany told her, a bright smile gracing her features, and it's enough to make Santana's heart melt, "I would love to be with you."
"Wait, Brits, do you mean that or are you just saying that to make me feel better?"
"Santana, just watch me and learn, yeah? Take it from someone who knows how to actually romance a girl." Oh yeah, bitches love romance.
"Of course, I should just go around slapping everyone I like on the face," Santana deadpanned. "Yeah, I know what went down that night, Fabray."
That night. Yep, Prom night. The prom night. Let's just say after Quinn got out of that bathroom, she couldn't walk properly for weeks. NOBODY has ANY idea of what happened though, of course *wink wink* (honestly, installing a hidden camera into the bathrooms to make sure there weren't any inappropriate activities going on was the best idea McKinley High ever had. Pedo Will actually does do some good around here.)
Rachel just sort of looked at Santana in horror, just imagine her reaction to when Brittany explained how she knew she was pregnant. You literally cannot describe that shit into words.
"Whatever, Lopez, I'm not the one here who secretly slipped cigars to a freakin cat to get its approval. A cat, Santana. Really?"
Santana...omg, she blushed. Holy shit. Santana Lopez actually blushed, in embarrassment. How the fuck is it that Quinn and Santana knew these things about each other? Nobody knows. It's one of the mysteries of the universe, such as did Lord Tubbington really read Brittany's diary? And WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CHARITY? And Beth? And that disabled guy Rachel promised to go visit? NOBODY KNOWS. Mysteries of the universe.
"San...you know how I feel about Lord T smoking!"
"I didn't Brits, he stole my cigars from my bag while we were-" suddenly realizing they were in front of an amused audience (especially pedo Will, who looked like he was in heaven), Santana leaned in closer and whispered the last part into Brittany's ear. Hehe, as the narrator, I was allowed to hear what was said, but I shall not abuse my privileges, it's their privacy (although I might put up what I know on ebay...if people are interested...off the record, of course).
Brittany's cheeks turned a deep scarlet. Oh...well, she could definitely imagine how that would put Santana in a compromising position (quite literally) and be distracted. Lord Tubbington, wow, for that he was gonna have to go to his naughty corner for a whole week.
"So, are we gonna sing or-" Mike started. OK, he can't even sing.
Pedo Will immediately holds his hand up, "No, no, Mike, let's let them finish first." This was exactly why he signed up to be a highschool teacher. To be able to educate the younger generation and shape them into great citizens in the future. Some shit like that.
"Hey everyone, sorry I'm late," Is it coach Sylvester coming in to plot her latest scheme (which never even works anyway, so no idea why she keeps trying)? Is it Brad the piano guy's twin brother who just happens to also play the piano? Nope, it's Sam! Who doesn't like green eggs and ham. "I had this..."
Everyone tuned out, but basically, Sam's back!
Idk idk idk. This chapter was just like a big puddle of whatthefuckery. I've something newwww in the works though, something which could be either veeerryy interesting or utter shit. But I need to open up another account, because this account's been compromised.