Chapter 2: Waiting

"Can you see me from where you are?
Do you think I'm happy without you right here?
Time has gone by and my heart hurts more
and I cry every moonless nights~"

~Waiting by BoA~

How long had he been standing there? How long had it been since he woke up from a comatose state feeling like he had been to hell and back?

Minutes? Hours? Days?

Crossing his arms, Heero Yuy leaned against the wall of the darkest corner of the room. He was always in this position when he watched over her. It was during the times when she was too preoccupied in maintaining peace in the universe that he had to look out for her, without her knowing. Only this time, she was not standing behind the podium while giving a speech. Now, she was lying on a bed... lifeless.

The room's lights were switched off and only the moonlight that came through the windows illuminated her figure. It was also silent in the hospital, indicating that even the doctors and nurses have already finished making shifts and visits to Relena's room. What frustrated the Gundam pilot was the beeping sound that came from the heart monitor beside the Vice Foreign Minister's bed.

Each beeping sound only made Heero feel worse and worse by the second. Looking at the good side of things, the fact that the heart monitor was still making that annoying sound only assured them, or him rather, that Relena is still alive. On another note, the longer these beeps lasted, the faster she was slipping away. And it ate him inside.

Assured now that the doctors will not be checking up on her at this time of the night, he uncrossed his arms, approached her, and stood beside her bed. His white shirt and pants that the hospital provided him reflected the moon light from outside.

He stood beside her, his eyes fully focusing on her. This was the third consecutive night that he had visited her ever since he woke up from his own slumber. From the moment he gained consciousness after the downfall of the Barton Foundation, he had monitored the visits of the doctors to his room. And whenever they were through with him at night, he would sneak out being the perfect soldier that he was, and go into her room unnoticed just to see her.

And just like the previous nights, he had done nothing but to watch her from the corner of the room, waiting, wishing, hoping, praying,if there truly was a god, for her to open her eyes. But she never did. The only response that he got was her slow breathing that seemed like an eternity for him.

But tonight was actually the first time that he had stood beside her this close. Relena Darlian lay on white sheets, and a white blanket was draped over her form up to her chest. Her golden locks gracefully lay on the white sheets. She looked so peaceful, serene, and still so beautiful. Her classic beauty accentuated with the moon light made Heero wonder if he were truly looking at an angel.

He had always acknowledged how attractive she is, as well as the effect that he she had on him. Otherwise, he would not have strayed from his oath of killing her when they first met. But he still had to come to terms on why he had allowed himself to think this way about her and only her.

He lifted his bandaged hand and lightly ran his fingers on her forehead, brushing her bangs. Open your eyes, he pleaded inside. It was ironic. When they were fifteen years old, he was the one who intended to send her to the grave until he had a change of mind... or a change of heart.

Not receiving any response from her, he pulled away his hand to run his fingers along his brown locks. His body still ached from the aftermath of the final battle; the bandages on his hands, arms, and torso were proofs of that. But that's all they were – injuries. It should have been me, he thought. For how many times had he already defied death? His penetrating eyes stared at the woman who breathed with much effort once more. The world doesn't need me. This shouldn't have happened to you. It should've have been me.

"Damn it," cursed Heero as he pounded on the mattress. And for the nth time, he asked, "How could I have been too late?"

He had never failed a mission. He was able to set off a detonation bomb in ten seconds. He managed to hit the falling chunk of Libra on Earth and so much more. But he was unable to save the life of the sole person whom he had sworn to protect with his life.

He sat on the chair just beside the bed. It was the one that Zechs always used every day when he came to visit his only sister during visiting hours.

"It would have still happened to her anyway." He can still vividly remember Duo's words days before. "Don't be too hard on yourself."

Is that it? Heero leaned with his elbows on the mattress close to where Relena's hands laid. He shook his head. "I should've been there to protect you."

"Don't blame yourself, Heero." Another voice from his memory spoke to him. This time it was Hilde's.

Everybody told him the same thing over and over. How can he not blame himself? He was able to prevent it from happening. He had sworn to protect her. And she practically went lifeless in his arms. She was slipping into abyss and without her knowing, she was pulling him with her.

Why did I survive? He then recalled the moment when he opened his eyes after blacking out at the Barton Mansion...

He opened his eyes only to be greeted with the bright fluorescent light on the ceiling. "Shit," said the Gundam pilot as he covered his eyes with his arms. Several days spent in being shrouded with darkness sure had its effects. And based on the white walls and his own clothing that he briefly glanced at, he already knew that he was in the hospital. As always, he thought.

"He's awake!" a female voice said.

And not a second more, he felt an added weight press on the side of his bed. "You ARE back! How you feeling, buddy?

"Duo?" he removed his arm from his face and looked at his braided-haired comrade.

"Of course it's me!" Duo exclaimed.

He was wearing his usual long-sleeved buttoned up black top and pants, his hair still braided. The dark-haired woman standing beside him was, if his memory served him right, was Hilde.

"What are you doing here? How long have I been out? What happened?" asked Heero with his usual monotonous voice.

"What a question," started Duo. Sighing, he pulled a chair and sat beside Heero's bed. "Well, you've been out for two and a half weeks now. And of course, can't leave you alone out here. So Hilde and I decided to stay on Earth and just check out if you've already woken up from time to time. We're renting a place nearby."

"Hn," was his only reply. And it was enough to make Duo smile.

"What happened after I passed out?" asked Heero.

"You just woke up, man. Don't you want to take on the lighter side of things first?" Duo teased, only to receive a glare from Heero. "Okay, okaaaay! No need to get angry!"

Duo continued, "After you passed out on that hell of a fortress, those who served under Dekim and Mariemeia were charged with rebellion, mutiny or something. Mariemeia received also medical treatment. After all, must have been traumatic for the kid. Lady Une's looking out for her."

"She's Treize's daughter. Of course, Une will take care of her," said Heero as he focused his gaze on the ceiling while listening to Duo. His arm was placed at the top of his head.

Duo nodded. "Yeah. But I guess Mariemeia's okay now."

"How about the others?"

"Quatre went back to space to arrange his family matters on one of the resource satellites. He was here last week and left you flowers. Told us to call him when you wake up." Duo motioned to the vase with white flowers on his bedside table. "Trowa also came to visit before he returned to the circus. He said that you're the greatest fighter he knew and also inform him of what will happen to you."

Heero nodded. He wondered if he should be deserving of these acknowledgement from others. He failed, didn't he? "And Wufei?" he asked.

"He's a Preventer now, under Sally Po's care," said Duo. "I'm telling you, there's something between those two!"

Duo's comment made Heero's lip curve up slightly. The thought of Wufei opening up to a woman was sort of amusing. And Sally is the type of woman who can match up with Wufei's rants on women. "Zechs and Noin?"

"Oh those two. They left for Mars a few days ago to help continue the terra formation project. They were here every day. Noin also left you flowers and Zechs said that they'll be expecting your quick recovery so he can meet you again."

"What for?"

"You're a hero, Heero," said Hilde, placing a hand on Duo's shoulder. "If it weren't for you, the battle wouldn't have ended. You were the one who got through the Barton's defenses and you also stopped Operation Meteor."

"Hey, hey! I also stopped Operation Meteor! And Trowa did too!" Duo teased, pretending to get angry. "Why do I always end up looking like just a sidekick?"

Hilde rolled her eyes and looked at Heero. "Yeah, okay fine. But the point is, Mr. Merquise said that he respects you a lot."

"I don't deserve that respect," whispered Heero more to himself. "The Gundams?"

Duo breathed in and out slowly. Mentioning the gundams apparently still made him sad, but his eyes seemed to tell otherwise. "Sorry, pal. You were outcold for more than a week and we don't have an idea on when you'll wake up, or will ever wake up at all. So we included Zero when we blew up our Gundams for good. Even Wufei agreed to surrender his Shenlong."

"So it's over," said Heero. "It's fine. There's no place for Zero and all the other Gundams in this world. Fighting should not be necessary anymore."

"Yeah." Duo agreed. "On a side note, aren't you going to ask about what happened to YOU? Somehow, hearing you ask about the others freaks me out. You weren't like that before."

"I already feel like hell, Maxwell."

"I can imagine," said Duo. "You overexerted yourself which became the primary cause of your loss of consciousness. You have about 15 broken bones in your body. Three of em's from your rib cage. Oh you also had crushing injuries, contusions and other damages to your internal and external. And after all that, you're still alive."

"I was thinking about the same thing." Heero paused. "Where's Relena?"

Duo and Hilde exchanged looks that mixed worry and surprise, though they already expected that Heero will ask about her.

When silence filled the room, Heero turned to look at the couple beside him. "Where is she?"

Duo sighed. "I was actually wondering why you haven't asked for her in the first place. She's at the top floor of the hospital, the one at the farthest end of the hall to your right."

Heero nodded. So she's alive, thought Heero. Duo's eyes tried to assure him that he was speaking the truth. But then something in his comrade's eyes changed, which made Heero turn his attention back to the ceiling and asked as he prepared for the worst. "How is she?"

"She's n a coma," said Duo flatly.

It struck him harder than he thought. Nevertheless, he still needed to know more. "Tell me more."

"She lost a lot of blood, man. When we entered the mansion, we saw you bathed in her blood. It covered the floor. The doctors did what they can to revive her. From what I figured out from all the jargons that the doctors were telling Zechs was that the bullet that Dekim fired hit her rib cage and a bit of her spinal cord." Duo paused. He did not know if telling Heero this information would be of any help, especially when he knew that this may hurt his comrade. For all the times that he had been with Heero, he would be considered a fool if he did not notice just how much Heero cared for Relena.

It was Hilde who continued the story. "The bullet hit one of her rib cages and also a part of her lungs. So her breathing became difficult. The surgery was successful. But she had not opened her eyes since then. They had to put her on the top floor of the hospital to avoid media attention. Even her security team weren't allowed to enter the floor since the staffs in the hospital were bothered by it."

"I want to see her," said Heero.

"Now? You can't. I don't think the doctors will allow you to walk yet given that you just woke up and you've got these tubes on you that are connected with dextrose," said Duo.

"Let them try and stop me." Determination etched on his features, Heero sat upright, wincing at the pain on his upper torso as he did so. He noticed the white bandages on his torso before grabbing the injections on his arm to remove the tubes from his body.

Duo immediately stood up and grabbed both of Heero's arms. "Hey, hey, hey! Wait! Don't do that!"

"Get off me, Maxwell. I have to see her," challenged Heero as he broke free from Duo's hold.

"Listen to me, bud. It's 2:30 in the afternoon. I know you want to see her but everyone in the hospital's awake. Even if you think you can outrun the staff here, you will be sedated even before you reach her room with your condition. Go see her in the evening when everyone's sleeping."

Heero stopped. "That's the first time that you ever said anything sensible."

Duo rubbed his arm. He beamed, "I don't know if that's meant to be a compliment or a mockery, but I'll take it as the former. Anyway, go visit her at about 3:30 a.m. It's the safest time to be alone with her."

"Hn." Heero nodded.

"Just keep this in mind," began Duo. "Whether you made it to the mansion in time or not, it still would have happened to her. Don't ever blame yourself from what happened."

"She's a strong person. She will surely comeback," added Hilde.

"They say I'm not to be blamed," said Heero. "But I swore to protect you." Open your eyes.

Heero wrapped his bandaged hand around Relena's. Her icy cold fingers felt like frostbites that made its way up to his heart. His grip on her hand tightened as he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. No, this was not the same one that he felt whenever he thought of the innocent little girl that he killed in the past. This pain was even worse than that. It choked him; it strangled him, until he ended up praying for some miracle. How can anyone mean this much?

"Talk to me, Relena." This is idiotic. Heero's eyes laid on his and Relena's intertwined hands. He felt pathetic at what he was doing. In the past, Relena always talked to him, worried about him, and shared her thoughts with him. And in return, he had always replied in short, brief sentences. Now that she was in no capacity to speak, it was when he had the urge to do so.

"You're being unfair," said Heero as he rested his arms on the mattress. "You've always followed me, even in the midst of war. You honestly, selfishly tried to get your beliefs and ideals through to me. When you have done so, you just leave me like this?" His voice rose a bit with a tinge of anger.

He trembled as his other hand also reached out and held Relena's cold hand. "Damn it, Relena. I'm right here. Open your eyes."

Closing his eyes, he curled her fingers into a fist and pressed it on his forehead as he leaned closer. "Is this how I make you feel when I leave?"

If this was the Heero whom Relena had first met in After Colony 195, he would have left the instant that battle ended. He would have left the hospital unnoticed the moment he woke up. But this time, he just cannot do it. Instead, he found himself in her room every night until the sun rises. No, he will not leave her this time. Besides, he did not have an idea on where to go from here.

"I want to hear your voice," he said huskily and opened his eyes.

Footsteps outside Relena's room were heard and Heero immediately hid on the dark corner of the room. Moments after, when the footsteps were no longer head, Heero walked back to Relena's side. He looked at the bright full moon outside. Wind blew from outside into the room and gently played with his hair.

"I love you." Those were Relena's last words. He had always known that Relena cared for him. But to hear it from her directly still haunted him. How could you love someone like me? Heero looked at the sleeping angel in front of him. Even on her death bed, she still selflessly thought of him and his well-being. "Live life, Heero... You... deserve... it," she once said.

"Relena," Heero began. He ignored the voice from his head that told him to shut up. Relena had always tried to reach out to him, countless times, even when he did not want to be involved with her ideals. And for all these years that they had known each other, she did nothing but understand him. Now, it was his turn to reach out to her, to let her know that he had not left her side. I've been silent for way too long.

Relena's playing a deadly game with Death right now. In any minute, she can flatline. This may be the only time to talk to her, to reach out to her. If that is so, then he will try as much as she did with him in the past. He had to get his message through to her. He just had to. If Relena dies, the regret of not being able to save her and not being able to tell him what he felt will only add to his own demise.

"Where do I start?" murmured Heero. "You're the one who's always good with words." He lowered his head. "I don't know where to go from here."

He sat on the chair beside Relena's bed. "Fighting is all I know. I was raised to be the perfect soldier. I find fulfilment when fighting. I find meaning, a purpose, like I was born to do it. I feel alive, satisfied when fighting. It was what I felt before I met you."

His eyes lay on Relena's sleeping form as he touched her hand again. "I met you. You saw my face on that beach." He closed his eyes at the memory. "You were only intending to help me. You called an ambulance. But then I ran away. It was the first time I left you. And then I tracked you down, attended your school, and threatened you on the eve of your birthday."

"I even made you cry when I ripped your invitation," he chuckled sarcastically. "But you still came for me at the port and attended to my wound when that idiotic Maxwell shot me."

"I thought you were pretty annoying back then, meddling with affairs that didn't concern you. At least that's what I've always told myself." He paused to lean closer to her. "But the truth is, I've been denying the effect you were already having on me. So I tried to push you away. I kept on leaving."

He kissed her hand. "You were so beautiful when we danced at the party in St. Gabriel. Even without any make-up on and you wore only the school uniform, you still stood out from the crowd. Until now, nothing has tarnished that beauty."

If any of those idiots see me like this, I'll never hear the end of it. He curled his fingers on his lap and continued. "So I fought. I continued to fight on the battle field, and you also fought on your own field. And I had always admired that. I've always envied your strength."

"You're always so honest and straightforward. I was aware of how you felt about me. However, I had to ignore it. I'm not used to these kinds of emotions." His voice was caught in this throat. "But you're clumsy at times. Even though I had always tried to stay away from you, you always end up in danger. And I find myself coming back to Earth just to assure your safety."

"I thought of it as mere duty. I thought I was protecting you all because you had to maintain peace that we worked hard for. But it ended up to being more than that, I realize that now." Heero reached out to lightly brush his knuckles on Relena's cheek. "You saved me, Relena. You changed something in me. I thought I was protecting you, but it was actually you who protected me from the dangerous path I might have taken during the war."

His voice was shaking now and he was trembling as he fought the heavy feeling that was consuming his being. "Don't give up. You're not alone. I'm not going anywhere."

Heero stood and cupped Relena's cheek, dying to see, hear, or feel any response from her. The pain was taking over him the more minutes passed. "I don't know what love is, but this is all I know." Slowly, he placed his other hand on the other side of her bed to support his weight as he leaned down to kiss her forehead before brushing his lips ever so lightly on Relena's pale ones.

It's always like this in fairytales, right? The princess who falls asleep awakens when kissed by a prince. Only that, this was reality and he was no prince. He pulled away slightly,his face centimetres away from hers, half-wishing that her cerulean eyes would look back at him. Wake up, please. A tear fell from his eye and landed on her cheek.

"I'm tired of running away. I can't go on without knowing you're alright. Relena, please wake up," he said as he once again sat down. He held her hand, not wanting to let go, and laid his head on the mattress. "I'm waiting," he murmured before surrendering to sleep.

As he retired to dreamland, a lone tear fell from Relena's eye.

Author's Note:

Woot, updated! How was it? I can't believe I just wrote an emotional Heero Yuy here. Comments? Suggestions? This chapter was supposed to be for a Final Fantasy VIII story since Rinoa also fell into a coma in the game, but... I've always wanted to write one for the Gundam Wing universe, hence, this output!

Plus, in my other story "Still I'm With You", almost everything was written on Relena's emotional side. Now, why not write something for Heero? Haha. Sorry if some of you may think that Heero may be out of character. But I did my best. I love drama. Okay? Okay. :)

Review guys. Lemme know what you think of this one! Take care! :)