Contains spoilers for "When the Gun Goes Bang, Bang, Bang."

There's a lot of fic that shows Maura taking care of Jane and/or their relationship after the shooting. Those are all awesome stories. But I think there's the possibility that rational Maura would react differently to Jane's actions, so that's the direction I'm going to go here.

Thanks for reading and comments!

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use.

The next morning Maura woke up feeling her limbs still entwined with Jane's. She opened her eyes to find Jane watching her. "How long have you been awake?"

"Awhile."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I've just been watching you sleep. Eew, that sounds a little creepy. In my defense, you are adorable when you're sleeping."

"Are we okay?"

"I think so. Don't tell me you're having regrets already."

"No. I just suddenly got worried I pushed you into this and maybe you didn't really want it or it was too fast."

"Hey, I wanted this. I want this. But since we both seem to be relationship-challenged we're just going to have to figure this out together, okay? I'm going to do the best I can."

After their first night together, not a lot actually changed. Maura and Jane were already spending most of their free time together, now they just added physical intimacy to their relationship. Jane touched her all the time. No matter where they were Jane always seemed to want to have her hand somewhere on Maura's body. It wasn't something Maura was accustomed to but she quickly learned to crave it.

Work schedules still dictated their lives. It was usually a few days non-stop on a case and then they'd get an evening or two to themselves until the next case. They returned to their usual routine of ending evenings at Jane's apartment. But Maura still never stayed the night. She wanted Jane to ask her to stay. Sometimes it felt stupid. Maura had taken the critical first steps to get them to this place. She knew Jane wouldn't ask her to leave if she did stay, but she needed Jane to ask. Maura liked having her own place to go home to. She had Bass. And she'd been used to having so much time alone for so long it was difficult to give that up. Still, if Jane would ask just once.

The sex was incredible. Maura didn't know if it was the result of her feelings for Jane or if it was just another surprising talent of Jane's. Shortly after that first night Maura had confessed to Jane how she'd felt the night she went to Jane's to not apologize. When Jane stopped her from leaving by almost pinning her to the door, Maura badly wanted Jane to take her right there. It took all of her willpower to say no to Jane then. A few nights after Maura's confession they went to Jane's after dinner and a movie. They were just barely inside when Jane spun Maura towards the door and had them back in that position, with Maura facing the door and Jane pressed against her back. "Like this?" Jane growled. Maura could only nod. "Don't move." Jane stepped back to take off her own clothes and then worked on removing Maura's. Once they were both naked Jane pressed back against Maura. Jane started sucking on Maura's neck. She lightly grazed her fingertips up and down Maura's sides until Maura was squirming. Then moved her hands more firmly to Maura's breasts, massaging them until her nipples were hard.

"Jane, please touch me," Maura moaned. Jane never made Maura wait when she asked. Jane repositioned herself so her right leg was pressed firmly against Maura's ass and held Maura in place with her right hand on Maura's waist. Jane's left hand dragged through Maura's wetness and settled on her clit, stroking with increasing speed. Maura stretched her arms out straight and pushed her hands against the door to keep herself upright. Bringing Maura to orgasm was usually enough on its own to bring Jane to the edge. Jane pushed herself onto Maura's hip, creating enough friction to bring her the rest of way. Jane moved her hand down and pushed two fingers into Maura. Maura came seconds later followed by Jane. Jane turned Maura around and pressed her back against the door, kissing her forcefully. Jane pushed her fingers back inside Maura and Maura did the same to Jane. Soon they both came a second time.

It was all more than Maura had dared hope for just a few months earlier and for now it was enough.

Then Danny was killed. Headquarters was attacked. Frankie was hurt. Bobby was dirty. And thinking she had to act to save Frankie, Jane shot Bobby and herself.

Jane was going to be fine. The bullet was a through and through, missing all the important organs and causing no major damage. She spent a few days in the hospital, with either her parents or Maura keeping watch, then was allowed to go home. She had at least a month on administrative leave to recuperate before she'd be allowed back to work.

Initially Maura had no thoughts other than Jane's health and safety. But once it was clear Jane was going to be fine and was settled back at home, Maura realized she had a lot to think about. She kept replaying that day over and over again, trying to figure out how Jane shooting herself could possibly be considered a rational decision given the circumstances. No matter how much she thought about it she had no answer.

After Jane had been home for about two weeks and was almost back to normal, Maura went to Jane's after work and launched right into what she needed to say before chickening out. "I don't know if I can handle this, Jane. I've always accepted that your job carries risks. I never ever expected you to put me before your job. But you shot yourself, Jane! It's just incomprehensible. You shot yourself. I thought at the very least now that you were with me you'd be less reckless. But I don't know now. I just don't know."

This was happening so suddenly, Jane wasn't sure if she was really comprehending what Maura was saying. "What don't you know?"

"I don't know if I can do this anymore. I need time alone to think. I'm sorry. I'll call you to check in tomorrow, but I can't come over for awhile." Before Jane could even begin to understand what had just happened, Maura was gone.