Translator/Note 1: I forgot about the disclaimer last chapter so here it goes:
Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. We own nothing.
Translation from the original Cuarto Menguante
Original language: Spanish
Writer/Author: Fey Black (Chile)
Translator: Karisan-karisan (Portugal)
Rated M
Waning Moon
Chapter 2 – Convince Me
He was trying as hard as he could to understand why things had turned out that way but as hard as he tried he wasn't getting anywhere. How was that possible? Things shouldn't be like that, right?
It was supposed to be forever. Him and her, always, together, for all eternity. At least that was what the legends said anyways. Imprinting was supposed to be unbreakable, an eternal bond. They were soul mates, perfect for each other… but if things were supposed to be that way, what the hell was happening?
"But Nessie…" Jacob started to talk but he couldn't continue mostly because he didn't even know what to say. Everytime he opened his mouth he couldn't verbalize his own thoughts because they were completely blurred.
She looked directly into his eyes, feeling a wave of regret and sorrow. Jacob felt he was trapped in a black hole but now he was starting to understand why he was feeling that way. It wasn't the pain Renesmee was putting him through that was making him feel so angry and hurt, it was the thought that he had been wasting his time on someone who couldn't love him the way she actually should.
"I'm so sorry. I know how things should be between us… but I couldn't help it, it just happened… You understand, right?" Nessie was trying to apologise sincerely with all of her soul. She had never meant to hurt Jacob because deep inside she had always known the deep bond they shared. She was his as much as he was hers but not the way they should be. At least since last month.
"I need an explanation, you can't just walk in and tell me this without an explanation…" Jacob spoke calmly. He didn't want to feel agitated because he could end up phasing inside the Cullen's living room and somehow he knew he would get into troubles if that happened.
It was actually strange to realise that he wasn't angry with her. At least not like he should be. His anger was being directed at someone else. His anger was felt towards himself, because now he knew he could've changed everything sooner, he could've done something to be happy with the person he had lost. A person who was now gone.
"Jake, I love you…I love you so much…with all my soul. But things changed…and it's not the same anymore. I mean…I love you but not like…a man…"
If her intention was not to hurt him, she was failing miserably because Jacob was not only feeling a sharp pain in his heart but also a dagger being carved in his ego.
"If you wanted me to act more like a boyfriend to you, you should've asked. I never pressured you because you never seemed interested enough." He defended himself, trying to protect the ego he had left, although truth to be told, he had never wanted her that way either.
"Please don't understand this the wrong way. What I really meant to say is that I love you but only as a friend. My best friend. My best friend forever. Please… I just wish you understand."
"And how the hell am I supposed to do that?" He raised his voice and got up, clenching his fists, trying to stay calm.
"I know it's not easy…"
"You have no idea." He cut her off.
"Jake…I didn't do it on purpose. I just couldn't help it…I fell in love with Nahuel." Those words pierced his heart baddly.
"What the hell happened to the imprint then?"
"We have the chance to choose, remember?" Nessie didn't want to hurt him more but she wanted Jacob to understand she was in love with Nahuel. Of course she still loved him, actually she had a feeling she would always love him, but not like a man, not like she loved Nahuel.
Nahuel was the man she wanted to kiss. It was Nahuel she wanted to feel at night, with her, moaning together as their bodies were trembling in pure bliss. With Nahuel she had become a woman and she didn't want to keep lying to Jacob anymore.
"But we were supposed to be together one day, I mean…that's why I imprinted on you, that's why our destiny is the same…we were supposed to love each other." He declared. He wanted to scream what was going on his mind but if he raised his voice to Renesmee, the Cullens would certainly kill him. Some of them would even do it more painfully then others. After all Nessie was their little girl, even though she wasn't a baby anymore.
"Exactly. Listen to your own words Jake. Are you with me because we are supposed to be together or because you want us to be together?"
Nessie's question made something inside of his brain click. Did he want to be with her or did he have to be with her? He wanted to be with her, right? He was supposed to want to be with her because she was his imprintee…but…
"Look at me Jake." Nessie put a hand on his face and felt the heat of his skin burning hers. He had always been so warm and hot but it never burnt her the same way Nahuel's did.
Jacob finally met her eyes.
"Since I was born you've been here for me. We've known each other for five years and during those five years you've been everything to me. You were my protector, my brother, my friend, my confident and most of all…you're my Jacob. I couldn't have asked anyone better to stand by my side day by day…but I want you to understand that I'm not good enough to give you what you really want. I believe that deep inside your heart you know that. You know that it's not me you dreamed of every night, I'm not the woman you want to share your bed with for all eternity, am I?"
She wasn't? Why was she saying that? Nessie wasn't supposed to be able to read minds. How did she know that the body he wanted to kiss and hold every night belonged to someone who was miles away from the Reservation?
"Then how do you explain the imprint, Renesmee?"
Nessie knew he was hurt and angry because otherwise he would've never called her by her full name. He never did that. And it hurt her too because she knew she was causing him pain but she couldn't help it. She couldn't keep on hiding her feelings from him. She wanted him to know she wasn't going to give Nahuel up for the sake of some old legends.
"I don't know…I've been thinking about it and…well maybe it's because I'm half-vampire. Half of your natural and mortal enemy. Maybe you imprinted on my human half…but not on my bloodsucker half." She smiled weakly when she realised the word she had used to describe her species. Jacob didn't return the smile though.
He was just too surprised with her theory. The questions on his mind were making him feel dizzy. Was it possible? Did he really love her? Or did he love only half of her? Was that the reason why he had always felt incomplete?
And then he knew. He knew why he had never felt whole. He knew why he had felt so empty inside for the last three years. Since that day at the beach.
"Ness…"
"You finally understood…" She cut him off. "I'll always be your Nessie, I'll always want you in my life and I'll always be here for you. But Nahuel will also be with me from now on because we love each other. And I know there will be someone else by your side. You know it too, don't you?" Nessie looked at Jacob intensively. She was absolutely sure of her words.
What if she was right? Since that day at the beach Jacob knew he loved Leah Clearwater but he had always thought that the imprint bond was more powerful than his feelings for Leah. And now Nessie was saying the exact opposite. The imprint bond wasn't stronger, it was just unbreakable.
When she left the Reservation he simply stopped fighting. He held on to the legends as if his destiny was set on stone. He let the legends rule his life for three years. In those three years he changed. He wasn't happy because his happiness disappeared with the scent of her natural perfume. Jacob had never truly smiled again since that day.
It was still hard to believe that it had been years since that moment. Three years since he had last seen her. And it hurt...baddly.
Now he had finally learned that the woman he was supposed to live with forever wasn't the love of his life. And he had to do something about it. He had to make up for the lost time.
"I have to go." He said knowing what he had to do.
"But Jake…"
"I'm sorry Nessie but I really need to go…and…thank you."
She didn't stop him and actually smiled watching him turn his back on her and leaving the house.
He walked into the woods thinking about everything Nessie had told him. To be in the forest made him feel even more depressed because it was a place full of memories. Old memories.
He wasn't normal…He had never been normal. He was a werewolf, an alpha since he was seventeen years old, his best friend was a vampire, he had imprinted on a hybrid…on her human half at least…and now he had realised that he didn't love her enough…and she didn't love him enough either. Again.
It was like reliving everything over again. Bella had loved him too but not enough. He frowned. Maybe he was the problem.
Strangely he didn't feel as if his body was being thrown out off the cliffs. Only half of his chest was hurting. The other half was… relieved? He didn't know why. If Nessie was supposed to be his soul mate he was supposed to feel like dying, right? After all she had just rejected him. But he wasn't. Why wasn't he hurting for being rejected by the love of his life? Maybe because she wasn't.
The realization almost made him fall to the ground. Now he knew exactly why it wasn't hurting that much and why he had been feeling so sad for so long. The cause for that was his own stupidity. There was no other explanation: he was an idiot, an asshole, a dumbass, a jerk…amongst many other things.
He had the opportunity to be happy and he let it go. He let her go. Because of his stupidity he had spent three years feeling empty and unhappy. At least now he knew why the happiness he thought he felt was never complete. Because in reality he had only been truly happy once. Only once. He had touched the sky with his fingertips but only that day and after that he was never whole again.
Jacob was surprised when he realised Nessie had known that before he did. It was a true mystery that she had to break up with him so that he finally saw what was right in front of him. There were no more illusions.
And it was also a mystery that he was still there, standing up in the middle of the forest, when the love of his life was living in some other place. He didn't know where she was or how she was doing ever since that day.
Jacob ran to the Reservation to talk to the only person who could help him, but things wouldn't be that simple.
"No. I'm sorry Jake but if I never told you before I won't do it now. I will not see my sister crying again." These were the words Seth used when Jacob asked where Leah was living for the past three years.
"She won't cry…I would never do that…"
"You already have."
That was impossible. He hadn't hurt her that much. Seth, on the other hand, didn't agree. Because in fact he was at home the day Leah walked in crying silently. He watched as his big sister cried in her bedroom and then he knew that those tears could only mean someone had hurt her again. Seth was completely helpless while he watched his sister pack her things and leave, whispering only a "Don't search for me.". There was no goodbye, no farewell. And he never saw her again.
It was only days later, when he was patrolling that he discovered who had hurt her that much. He had to search every piece of memory from his pack brothers and finally he saw what he was looking for. And he was disappointed with his alpha. So, as much as he loved Jacob as his leader and brother, he would not tell him where she was. He didn't want to see Leah cry ever again. He loved her too much.
"Please Seth, I need to know where she is."
"I'm late for classes."
It was true. That was his last year in Highschool. He was a senior now and he was studying hard to be able to go to the University. He had promised his sister he would finish school and then he would go to California and live with her. They would go to the same University and they'd be together again like the old times, like a proper family.
"Seth…look at me…Have you ever seen me this desperate before?"
Seth looked at him attentively. Jacob was obviously upset. Hurting even but he wasn't sure if the reason why Jake was feeling that way was because of Leah. Of course he would love to see his alpha and his sister together but he didn't want to risk her having a relapse after years of recovery. She had a new life now and she seemed happy enough. After leaving the Reservation Leah hadn't spoken to her family for a whole year and when she finally did call them it was just to let them know she was alive, had a place to live and a job. Seth knew she was better but not truly happy. But that was a start, right?
From that day on Seth promised her that he would not tell anyone where she was. Besides in three years no one had really asked about her anyways. No one cared about Leah that much, except for him and Sue. No one had mentioned her name…until now.
"Actually I have seen you more desperate than this Jake. Now move, I need to go."
Seth tried to pass through but Jacob's hand in his arm prevented him to leave.
"Why are you so worried about her now? In three years you never cared. You never asked about her…"
"Because I didn't know what was wrong with me."
Seth was trying his best to believe him. He did look worried about Leah but was that enough?
"If I make her cry again, you can kill me." Jacob assured.
"I will…Trust me." Seth finally decided to give in. He would tell him where to find Leah and how. Even risking his own neck in the process.
After knowing where Leah was Jacob felt desperate. She was in another state. What was he supposed to do now?
He never thought in a million years that Edward Cullen would help him. He didn't ask for his help. After all Edward was his imprintee's father and he never really wanted him as his son-in-law so why would he help him?
Despite not having murder instincts everytime they were in the same room anymore that didn't mean he was going to ask for Edward's help. That was why he was surprised to see him on his doorstep the previous day to hand him a peace offering.
Jacob had spent the whole night thinking about a plan to get enough money to go all over to California and get her back. All the plans he had thought about required too much time. Time he didn't want to waste anymore. His last resort was to sell his body. He was sure his body could please many lonely women out there. The problem was he couldn't picture himself doing it with any other woman except for Leah. Other women wouldn't make him feel like she did, not even Nessie. It was funny that he had only realised that now.
"Can I come in?" Edward asked. Jacob didn't reply and moved to the side. "I'm sorry to bother you but my daughter told me what happened and I thought I should come to talk to you."
"What happened between Nessie and me is our business." Jacob said acidly. He wasn't really mad, he just didn't want Edward to feel sorry for him.
"I'm not feeling sorry for you. The reason why I'm here is because I agree with my daughter. You're not in love with her and you know it."
"Are you picking up Jasper's powers or something?" How could he possibly know that? Jasper was the emotion's reader not him.
"Yes, you're right. Jasper is the one who can read emotions but I can read them from him. I'm not an emotion's reader but I'm not stupid either. I saw your thoughts about what happened that day at the beach."
What? He had seen it? Everything? Jacob had never felt embarrassed by anything in his life but this time he was blushing in a deep shade of red. "You kept thinking about it for weeks. I remember you didn't show up by our house that day and after twenty days without seeing you Bella sent me to see what was wrong with you. You were at the beach again…sitting down on the sand and thinking about her. I felt angry enough to kill you with my own hands but I didn't for several reasons."
Jacob just stared at him, wondering what those reasons were.
"One of those reasons is that if I killed you I would hurt my wife and daughter, the two most important people in my life. Another reason is that I would rather have you satisfying your…needs with Leah than with my Nessie and finally…I guess that I really don't hate you that much to the point of wanting you dead."
Jacob couldn't help a small smile. He could feel the same about the bloodsucker.
"Yet you thought about killing me…"
"I did. Anyways I believe that there is still another reason why I didn't kill you mutt. You were too confused and I knew sooner or later this would happen. After all your imprint is not like the others. You only imprinted on my daughter's human half."
"You believe that too?"
"It's only a theory."
The leeches did like to conjure theories. Edward smiled realising that Jacob was right.
"If you have a better one feel free to share." Edward suggested.
"I will." He didn't have any other theory but even if he did, it didn't matter anymore.
"You're right. It doesn't matter…What really matters right now is that you find her and for that you're going to need this."
Edward gave him an envelope with his name written on it in a fine and elegant handwriting that he recognised as Bella's.
"She wants you to have this or she said she's going to come over here and kick your ass…and I'm quoting."
Jacob laughed slightly. That was definitely something Bella would say. Accepting the envelope, he opened it but when he saw what it was he gave it back.
"I can't take it."
"Yes, you can."
"No, I can't."
"You can always sell your body on the streets. I guess it's your call." Edward shrugged and Jacob growled. He hated charity. "It's not charity, mutt…it's just one friend helping another. This isn't just from Bella but from me as well. I care about you…but I must say that I care about her too."
"Sorry? Come again…" Edward cared about Leah? How and when did that happen?
"Before she left we kind of had a little chat…She's an incredible woman…I must hand you that. She's not only beautiful and interesting…she's also amazing…" Jacob growled again, he didn't like Edward's adjectives towards Leah. Edward decided not to antagonise him anymore. Leah Clearwater had always intrigued him though. Since the very first moment he was able to read her mind, he had known she was special.
He frequently observed her. Her mind was always filled with anger, remorse, despair but also love, pride and the will to protect, especially two men and none of them was Sam Uley.
When they spoke before her departure, he had watched her cry and he couldn't help but to feel compassion towards her. That was why he was hoping that Jacob could bring her back.
"I'm being honest Jacob, so if you don't want to accept this for you do it for her. Bring her back."
Edward didn't wait for Jacob to speak, he left the envelope in the young wolf's hands and disappeared with the wind.
Jacob didn't want to accept their help but he was desperate to be with her again and to take Edward's help would definitely be a lot better than to sell his body on the streets, so he packed a few things and left. One day he would repay Bella and Edward but first he had to find Leah. On the kitchen table Jacob left a note to his father that said'I'm going to find her. It took me three years to understand what was wrong with me so I won't come home without her. Wish me luck.'
He had never been in such a huge city before. He hadn't seen so many people together in the same place. Berkeley in the state of California was most of all a sunny place. There were beaches and sun and heat…at least in the summer because in the winter it was quite the opposite.
At least that was what he had read in the tourist route he had bought. Berkeley had 112.580 inhabitants which compared to the 3122 in Forks made him feel a bit clauthrophobic. How the hell was he supposed to find her in such a huge city? How was he supposed to get to the damn University if he didn't know where he was?
His best option was to take a cab.
"To Berkeley University please." He asked the driver.
"New student?"
"Something like that."
"It's a bit far so it'll be expensive."
"Just drive."
I hope he has enough money to pay. The driver thought eyeing him suspiciously. Jacob wasn't wearing anything of value and was only carrying a backpack. He doubted that he had means to pay the ride but even so he drove the young man there.
During the car ride Jacob tried to think what he would say to her. What could he say?
'I came for you.' No, that would be like throwing a bomb right at her face. They weren't in contact for three years so it wasn't right to say that all of the sudden.
When Seth had told him that Leah was attending the University he felt proud of her. She had always wanted to be more than just a protector and now she was achieving her dreams. He too had finished Highschool because he kept thiking about her. She would've wanted him to finish his studies. After that he applied for a few Universities but he didn't go anywhere because he had to stay with Nessie and Nessie wanted to be with the Cullens in Forks.
Since he wasn't getting older anytime soon there wasn't any rush, although Bella had advised him he should continue studying mechanics since he had good grades and was obviously very good at it. He just didn't have any reasons to study…until now.
He hopped out of the cab after paying the driver and stood there for a while without knowing exactly where to go or what to do. The University Campus was huge and there were too many students walking around with bags and books. He walked through the main entrance noticing how every single girl turned around just to check him out.
He was highly noticeable, he was almost six feet tall and had an impeccable body. He wasn't wearing nothing fancy, just plain jeans and a t-shirt that was a bit tight around his chest but he still had all eyes on him.
Soon he felt like he was lost.
"Shit…I'm not going to find her like this." He cursed.
"I can help you out." A feminine voice said behind him and he turned around to meet a redhair girl smiling at him. Her blue eyes contrasted with her white skin and her freckles. She seemed friendly. "I can tell you're new here, right? I can give you a tour around this place."
"Would you mind?" He asked. He wasn't sure if he should walk around with another girl because he was damn sure he wouldn't like to see Leah with another guy either.
"Of course I don't mind. I'm a senior, I know this place like the palm of my hand. My name is Katherine."
Without hesitation, Katherine took his arm and pulled him with her.
"So…what are you doing here?" She asked curiously.
"I'm Jacob and I…was recommended this University by some friends. I'm here to study." He lied flatly.
"You won't be sorry. There's no better place to study than Berkeley. It's a bit quiet for my liking but there are great teachers and beautiful women too."
Jacob turned his head to look at her, quircking an eyebrow.
"What? Are you homophobic?" She asked.
"No…of course not…I just…I wasn't expecting you to be…you know…"
"You're not the only one. Anyways you don't have to worry about me, I promise I won't hit on your girl." She laughed and he did the same. He didn't really want to fight with a chick for his woman. That was creepy.
They walked around for two hours. Jacob was focusing on every face that they passed by. He had tried to feel her scent but there were too many students at the same place.
"Shit." He whispered feeling helpless.
"Do you know the name of the girl you're looking for?" Katherine asked him and he was again, surprised. "You don't think I'm that idiot, do you?"
"I don't know…" He stated sincerely. He didn't know her that well.
"I'm hurt." She exclaimed. "I can tell you're not here only to study. You're searching for someone because I've seen you looking at every girl that we saw the whole afternoon."
"Am I that easy to read?"
"Like an opened book. I don't know you very well but I know you're desperate to find her. Maybe if you tell me something about her or her name I can help you."
"She's special, unique. You would notice her even in a crowded place. She's Native American like me. Her skin in golden, her hair is dark and her smile is so warm…she's the most beautiful woman I've met and her eyes…they're the colour of honey and they shine brightly looking almost like liquid gold…"
"Wow…if a man talked to me like that I would turn straight." Katherine declared. It wasn't just the words he spoke; it was the tone in his voice that allowed her to know he was deeply in love with the woman he was searching for. Katherine knew it by the involuntary smile on his face and the way his eyes were shinning while thinking about her.
"Just tell me her name…" She insisted but Jacob didn't reply. He had his eyes on the horizon and when Katherine followed his gaze she understood why.
"Leah…" Jacob whispered without moving.
She is really beautiful. Katherine thought and for a moment she regeretted having promised she wouldn't hit on the new student's girl. She asked herself why she had never noticed her before. She had long and tanned legs that were at plain sight since she was wearing only a pair of small blue shorts. Her flat stomach and fairly large breasts were covered up by a sleevless tank top. She was a pretty nice sight.
Jacob's head was spinning. What should he say to her? What should he do? Why weren't his legs moving? He knew she was beautiful but right now she was much more than that. She was damn gorgeous and he had been three long years without her…How did he survive? The distance between them was making Jacob feel desperate. He needed her close, even though he had no idea what to say, he needed to be close to her now.
"Thank you Katherine, I'll see you around." He said and ran in Leah's direction, capturing her unique scent and inhaling it as much as he could. That was the scent he had been dreaming of. The scent of the first woman he had shared his bed with. Well in their case it was the sand…
Leah was feeling quite upset at that moment because once again her brain was playing tricks on her. It wasn't the first time she could feel his scent. It wasn't the first time she dreamed of him running towards her. She used to day-dream about it a lot. But in three years Jacob had never even called. Nothing. So that's why she was upset. Because she shouldn't be feeling his foresty scent, the scent she loved so much, because in reality he wasn't there, he couldn't be. It was just a hallucination, like all the other times.
"Wow…Who the hell is he?" Caroline, one of her classmates asked. Leah didn't turn around. Caroline was always able to find a new guy to talk about every week.
"I want to meet him. I love guys with dark hair." Nicole agreed. Leah just shook her head but then her nose caught a weird scent. It was the same scent she had felt that day at the beach when she had given herself to him. "Is he really coming here?" Nicole asked excitedly.
"Yes! He's coming here!" Caroline grabbed Leah's shoulders and turned her around so she could see the awesome male specimen that was running towards them.
Leah didn't even have time to blink before his lips crashed against hers. She could feel his despair by the way one of his hands was placed around her neck and the other around her waist so she wouldn't move away.
"Jacob…what the fuck…?" Leah couldn't speak anymore because he kissed her again. The first kiss had made her dizzy but the second one was intoxicating her like poison or maybe even a drug..
She felt him deepening the kiss and without thinking she allowed him to explore her mouth and control the kiss entirely. She wanted to taste him again, that sweet and salty flavour she had tasted only once. Leah was finally in heaven again after being trapped in the pits of Hell for three long years and only now she had realised how much she had really and truly missed him.
In three years she hadn't been able to forget that day at the beach. She had tried very hard to forget it but in the end she couldn't go through every single day without his memory. And when she was alone, at night, she dreamed about them, together, moving in sincrony, their bodies connected and their hearts beating in unison.
She needed him so much, with such desperation that she felt scared.
Gasping for air, they pulled away from each other. Jacob's eyes never left her honey coloured orbits. He could still taste her in his lips and he wanted to tell her how much he loved her and how stupid he was for wasting three years. His heart was hurting inside of his chest making him realise he couldn't stay away from her any longer.
"What are you doing here?" She asked when she was finally able to form a whole sentence in her brain although she was still breathless.
"I'm here for you." He whispered over her lips. He was dying to taste them again.
"That can't be true and you know it very well."
"Who is he?" Caroline's voice called them back to reality and none of them answered the question immediately. Leah looked at her friends and saw doubt and surprise in their eyes. Caroline and Nicole knew her for two years and they had never seen Leah with a man before. The reason for that was quite simple. After that day at the beach, either it was him or no one else.
Leah was trying to figure out what to answer.
'A friend?' No…they weren't just friends.
'A relative?' No…no way in hell they would be relatives. She would rather kill herself.
'A lover?' That was definitely closer to the truth although she was his lover, and not the other way around. She had been his mistress.
'The man I love.' Yes that was the right answer but she would never say it out loud, especially not in front of him.
"I'm Leah's boyfriend." Jacob replied firmly and he really loved the sound of it.
Leah just stood there stunned.
"She never mentioned you." Caroline shot back.
"It figured. We didn't end in good terms…I'm here to change that." The way he said those words, as if he really meant it, as if he could put all the past behind them, made her fall in a dream land for a split second.
"You can't." She said snapping out of it. He couldn't be there saying those things because he had Renesmee. Leah would never be second to anyone, she would never be a consolation prize. She was too proud for that.
"Okay…well we're going to give you some privacy. Don't worry about classes, I'll bring you the notes later." Caroline said. Nicole was still checking Jacob out, which didn't please Leah at all. Stupid jealousy. Leah thought feeling suddenly annoyed with herself. She shouldn't feel jealous. No matter what had happened between them Jacob wasn't her boyfriend.
"We need to talk." He said while Caroline was dragging Nicole away from them.
"There's nothing to talk about." Leah contradicted. His eyes were burning her soul but she wouldn't cave in.
"Yes, there is. Just let me speak before you try to rip some of my body parts, okay?" He smiled sweetly. That smile was always her downfall.
Damn it. Leah thought feeling extremely disappointed for giving up so easily. She was supposed to stay strong and don't let him walk into her life again.
"Follow me." She finally said. They had to talk and she knew it but if he kept smiling like that she was sure she was going to lose all control she had left and jump him right then and there.
They walked in silence through the Campus hand in hand. Leah didn't want him to hold her like that but he refused to let her go and she didn't want to make a scandal either. Besides if she hit him everyone would know how strong she was and Leah couldn't have her secret to be found out. Secretly, she was actually enjoying feeling his fingers intertwined with hers.
Jacob could only think about a way of telling her what was stuck in his throat but he couldn't form an acceptable sentence. 'You're the reason my heart beats each day.' No, that would be too "Edward" like. 'I couldn't stop thinking about you since the day we had sex at the beach.' Hell no, that sounded just like Emmett and besides it hadn't been just sex at the beach, it had been more than that. 'I can feel what you're feeling.' That was so Jasper.
Damn it. I've spent too much time with those damn bloodsuckers. Jacob thought.
What the hell does he want? That was the question that kept playing in Leah's mind. Her naïve side wanted to believe he had come for her because he loved her, but that was impossible. If he loved her he wouldn't had taken three years to find her.
A few minutes later they walked inside a building and the elevator took them to the fifth floor. Leah guided him through a long hall until she finally reached a door. Jacob's eyes opened in shock when he realised where she had taken him. They were in her room.
He quickly scanned the room. A grey couch was in the center of the small but cozy living room. In front of the couch there was a small table where some papers and books rested and there was also a TV set. On his right side there was a desk with a computer which was probably her study place, and on his left a refrigerator and a table with some leftovers. But what really caught his eye was the bed that was near the window. He could easily picture them rolling naked, whispering each others' names while making love in that very same bed.
"I don't have all day so talk." Leah demanded looking him straight in the eyes. He was still standing near the closed door while her body was blocking the way to the place he was dreaming about for the last few seconds.
Leah knew she shouldn't have taken him to her room but they couldn't have that conversation in public besides there was the chance that one of them could get angry and phase.
"I…well the truth is that…I don't know how to explain…" He was mumbling pieces of sentences instead of telling her how much he loved her. How lame was that? Maybe it was the thought of him and her making love in her bed that was temporarily blocking his ability to be rational or maybe he was just plain dumb.
"I, I, you, you, bla, bla. bla…" She mocked crossing her arms defensively over her chest. If he didn't go straight to the point she would jump him. That stupid t-shirt he was wearing was too tight and her imagination was flowing again.
"I love you." He blurted.
"Liar." She replied by instinct. He couldn't be serious. How dared he?
"I love you." He repeated.
"Stop playing with me." She warned and a heavy silence fell between them.
"I'm not playing with you, I'm serious. I love you, I've told you that day at the beach." Leah closed her eyes when the memories of that day hit her. She could almost feel him inside of her whispering those words in her ear.
"You imprinted. You've imprinted on her four years and three months ago. You can't just change that with 'I love you'." She stated firmly and he remained quiet. Things weren't going the way he had anticipated. But with Leah nothing happened according to his plans.
"I know that and I know very well that I've imprinted. I also know that with you 'I love you' is not enough but I need you to listen to me, I need you to believe me when I say that even though I imprinted on Nessie I fell in love with you… and now I finally realised that you're more important than a few old legends, I want you to know that you're everything to me…I love you more than everything, more than Nessie. I love you."
It came out better than he was expecting. Better than a memorised speech or something he had learned from the bloodsuckers.
"You love me so much that it took you three years to realise that." Leah knew that she couldn't dream with a happy ending because fate had already stabbed her more than once. She couldn't allow herself to have hopes because if he let her down again she wouldn't be able to recover this time.
"I realised it the very same moment I felt you were gone from La Push. When you left without even saying goodbye to Seth or Sue…I didn't search you because I thought I was supposed to follow the traditions and the old legends. I wasn't supposed to be in love with someone else except for my imprintee. But now I know that it's possible. Now I know you're more important to me than her…"
"Stop it! Just stop it! I don't want to hear you anymore." Leah half yelled closing her eyes. She didn't want to see him or hear him because she knew he wasn't hers.
"I'm sorry but you really have to listen to me."
"Are you going to force me? Are you going to alpha command me to listen to your lies?" Leah asked defiantly.
"If I have to, I will."
They were now just a few centimetres away from each other and they could feel the heat erradiating from their bodies. The desire was almost palpable.
"Go away! I don't want to see you, I don't need more lies." Leah took two steps back as a precaution. She didn't trust herself being so close to him again. "I'm not going to fall for your stupid games and soft words. You belong to that half-leech you love so dearly and I don't belong to anyone. So either you leave my room or I'm going to kick your sorry ass all the way to La Push."
Her old self was back because of him. It had been a while since she was feeling as upset and angry as in that moment. Usually she didn't have to be rude to people when she wanted to be left alone. A glare did the charm every time but now all she wanted was to yelled and hit him as much as she could.
"I won't go. This is a free country, Miss Clearwater and I want to stay here."
That infuriated Leah even more.
"Get out of my bedroom you fucking bastard!" She yelled. He had to leave or she was going to succumb to his charms again.
"Make me." He challenged.
If that's what you want, I will. She thought and without wasting more time she grabbed his shoulders and pushed him backwards. She was surprised to see that even though she hadn't phased in two years, she was still as strong as before.
She kept on pushing him until he hit the wall. Now she just had to open the door and throw him out but when her hand closed around the doorknob Jacob held her by her waist and flipped them over, pinning her against the wall. She was trapped but the worst part of it was his body pressed up against hers. There was no space between them and Leah was rapidly losing her ability to breathe and think.
"Stop it…" She pleaded.
"No." He whispered in her ear.
He was not going to stop, even if she begged him. Neither of them wanted to move, their scents were intoxicating and that position was comfortable for both but Leah knew she had to react or all those years trying to forget about him had been in vain.
Praying that her strength would not fail her now, Leah pushed him off of her catching him off guard. Having enough room to move, she escaped from his iron grip and tried to open the door but Jacob's large hands closed it immediately trapping her again.
Now she was flat against the door with her back turned to him. The position wasn't better than the previous one since now she could feel his lower body too close to her backside and something was definetly getting hard.
She imagined how it would feel like to have him again inside of her and her body relaxed for a few seconds giving Jacob the opportunity to flip her over and lift her up from the floor. Instinctively Leah wrapped her legs around his waist and a second later their lips were moving together.
That was all it took. She couldn't fight against it any longer. Her defences had finally crumbled down.
She snaked her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss because she needed to feel this again. Taking that chance, Jacob pressed her harder against the wall in an attempt to feel her closer. Breathing heavily he thought about taking her right there. She was at his mercy. He only had to get rid of her shorts and fill her entirely with his manhood. As for Leah she wanted him to take her to her bed and do whatever he wanted with her.
As if he was listening to her pleas, Jacob grabbed her hips to sustain her in the air and walked away from the wall not breaking the kiss. He couldn't even think about stop kissing her. It was as if the world was about to end and they only had a few hours to be together.
Leah heard the noise of objects falling to the floor and then she felt him placing her down in a hard surface. He hadn't taken her to the bed. Instead she was sitting down on the table. She didn't care much about the place but more about what they were going to do on it.
When they couldn't breathe anymore Jacob pulled back, gasping for air before starting to leave a trail of small kisses down her neck until he reached her breasts. She trembled in anticipacion and felt his smile on her skin. He was glad to know that he could still make her tremble like that.
His hunger for her was increasing with every moan that came out of her mouth. Jacob put his hands underneath her tank top and started to lift it up but she stopped him.
He looked at her intensively.
What the hell am I doing? Leah thought. I was supposed to forget about him. I was supposed to live alone in a place away from him, away from everyone…and what am I doing instead? I'm about to let him win…because he felt so good.
It was in the moment their eyes met that she felt she had to be his again. Even if this was the last time. She was still in love with him and there was no way to deny it.
Slowly, Leah let his hands free and grabbed her own top removing it completely. Realising that she was submitting to him Jacob felt like he had reached paradise. She was finally admitting she wanted that as much as he did.
They attacked each others' lips savagely, trying to keep their flavour in their mouths for as long as they could. Then, eventually, their clothes started to come off, one by one. In three years Leah had almost forgotten how gorgeous his body really was and she let her fingertips travel slowly along every line down his chest and abs. She smiled thinking that he was hers at least for one last time and she was going to make sure that both of them would remember it.
She wanted him so badly that it was hurting especially because she knew that in the end she was going to be the one suffering with the consequences. The heat was consuming them both and Leah wanted to touch him everywhere but in that moment she just hid her face in his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his chest as if she feared that he could suddenly disappear. He hugged her back although he was surprised by her reaction.
"This isn't right, you're going to leave me again. You're going to go to her and in the end I'll be the one hurting…you're a bastard…" Leah hugged him more tightly. "You're a bastard…I want to hate you but I can't…"
"I'm so sorry…" He replied caressing her hair. "I shouldn't have waited this long…Look at me Leah…" Jacob put his thumb under her chin and lifted her head up so she could look at him. "It doesn't matter how much time it'll take, it doesn't matter what I'll have to do, I will convince you…I will show you that I love you…and you'll see that my imprint doesn't matter because I'm willing to do anything for you including breaking the old legends."
Leah was at loss for words. What could she really say after that? The rational part of her brain wanted to kill him for saying that because she knew he would eventually go back to Renesmee. The other part, the stupid part of her, was hoping he would keep his word this time.
The flesh was weak and Leah surrendered.
She kissed him fiercely without more reserves. Renesmee didn't matter anymore. She would deal with that later. Right now she was going to pretend that Jacob had meant every word. He returned the kiss with excitement, for three years he had repressed his feelings for her, but that was over now.
His brief love relationship with Nessie had never been remotely passionate like the one he had with Leah. Just one touch and he was lost in a never ending passion's journey. He was surprised that he had been able to live without her for three years.
Leah's hands went to unzip his jeans. First the belt then the zipper. The feel of her small hands so close to his member was driving him insane. He wanted her to feel as good as he was feeling so Jacob slowly removed her bra throwing it to the floor.
Her skin was smoother than he remembered. Her breasts were a perfect match in his large hands. She was the perfect match for him after all. Leah moaned when Jacob bit one of her breasts teasingly. His wet tongue was doing wonders on her superheated body and she arched her back to give him full access.
While he was busy tasting her neck again, Leah lowered her hands until she grabbed what she most wanted. His jeans were now on the floor as well and soon his control would go down too. Her hands were now moving up and down, painfully slowly and he bit his lower lip to prevent a mouth full of obscenities. Panting hard he let her continue her ministrations thinking that he was the most stupid asshole on the face of the earth. Only someone as stupid as him would've waited three years to feel like that again.
Leah knew Jacob was gifted. She had glanced over his body more than once when they were in La Push and she had once felt him fully inside of her, but she would never stop feeling surprised about his length. He was huge and she loved it.
Slowly, Jacob was falling down into the abyss that her hands were originating. He had to hold down tightly to the table because he couldn't stand up straight any longer. He had surrendered to her mere touch and when she licked his earlobe he knew she was going to take him for a very long and pleasant ride.
"Make love to me Jake…" She whispered caressing his tip.
He growled and attacked her lips once more. She didn't stop moving her hands up and down and seconds later she knew he was about to explode. Although she couldn't wait to have him between her legs, she was going to make him beg first.
"Shit…Leah…I'm…" He was almost breathless and she smiled mischievously. If he thought she was doing that to give him pleasure he was sadly mistaken. She was going to punish him so when she felt he was close to his climax, she stopped and removed her hands.
He couldn't believe she had done that. He was about to explode and she had denied him that blissful pleasure. She was still a damn harpy.
"Bitch…" He muttered while she was laughing.
"You can't complain Jake…You were the one who took three years to find me, you have to face the consequences…" She said mockingly and kissed him urgently again.
He decided to take that chance to have what he wanted. Leah had finally lain down on the table and he had fully access to her body. He lowered his lips from her breasts through her stomach and then his hand reached between her legs.
Leah growled. She hadn't been touched by anyone since that day at the beach and Jacob was seriously and dangerously driving her insane. His touch was maddening but he hadn't done more than caressing her thighs and that was frustrating.
"Make up your mind." She snarled between gasps. Jacob grinned. Payback was a bitch.
"Now you're the one complaining…"
"I'm not complaining, I just need you to decide what you really want." She explained.
"I want you." His voice was firm and he then kissed her gently, taking his time to taste her once again. And she finally believed him. At least in that moment she decided that she should believe him.
Feeling no more resistance on her part Jacob pulled her closer, spreading her legs a bit more and placing himself in between them. He had to control himself because all he wanted to do was to bury his member in her savagely; the wolf in him seemed to be just right under his skin. Forcing his inner beast to calm down, he caressed her thighs and slowly pushed himself inside. He was barely half way when Leah wrapped her legs around him and pulled his body even closer forcing him to fill her entirely at once.
The pleasure was unbearable and Jacob growled in appreciation.
"Someone is in a hurry…" He grinned and waited for her to get used to his size.
"You were taking too long." She chuckled.
"We have all the time in the world babe." He whispered.
If Leah decided that she didn't want to keep phasing in order to have a normal and human life, he was okay with it. He would do the same because the only thing that mattered was to be by her side.
"And more…" She replied and united their lips. Moving her hips slowly she begged him silently to start moving and he complied.
He set a slow pace at first but it didn't last long. He wanted to touch the sky again with her and for that he needed to go faster. The table started to hit the wall while he kept pushing in and out of her with urgency. Leah had to hold the edge of the table firmly above her head to keep herself in place. That was definitely a sight he wanted to register in his memory. Leah moaning his name, her legs wrapped around him and her brests bouncing with his every move. He knew that when they reached the sky he would want a second round because he needed to make up for the lost time and to be buried in her was the best thing he had ever experienced.
Jacob felt her contracting around him and fastened his pace, increasing the pleasure they were both feeling. He was close now but he didn't want her to come after him. Placing his hand between her legs he started to massage her center while pushing all the way in. There was a moment before he reached the edge in which he thought he was dreaming but the feeling of her coming just a few seconds after him, brought him to reality.
Feeling his body weaking, Jacob relaxed and rested his head on her breasts, gasping for air while he could feel her doing the same underneath him. He didn't bother to pull out, he was too comfortable in that position.
Running her fingers in his black hair, Leah pulled his face up to kiss him gently. They were in pure bliss, just like that day at the beach.
"We didn't use protection…" He whispered.
"You don't have to worry about that." She replied with a small smile.
"I thought that…since you haven't phased for two years your…you know…"
Leah smiled again with his embarrassment on such topic.
"No…my menstruation cycle is not back…at least not like it was before…but I did manage to understand what's wrong with me."
"You found out the reason why you drive me completely insane?" He asked playfully.
"No, not yet." She played along. "It's something else."
"Tell me."
"I don't think I'll get to show it to you since it'll happen next week." Leah wasn't smiling any longer. She was expecting him to leave at any moment now. She knew he wouldn't be there next week.
"Maybe you're right…" He confessed and she froze. She knew he'd return to Renesmee's arms but she never thought he'd confess it so easily after all that speech about loving her more than his imprint.
Suddenly there wasn't enough air in the room for her to breathe. How stupid could she be? She had thrown away her mental stability for what? One last fuck with him? What the hell was she doing? She had let him use her again. Leah tried to move not caring that their bodies were still connected but Jacob didn't allow her to do that.
"I need to get my stuff, my clothes, my papers, my documents…Do we have to bring our own furniture too?"
"What? Furniture? Documents? What the hell are you talking about?"
"If I want to study here I'll need my papers from Highschool and my documents…I'll start in the middle of the semester but that's fine…Maybe I can ask my father to send it for me…but I'll definitely need a few clothes…" Leah didn't let him finish, she kissed him hard while her tears ran freely down her face.
Jacob smiled into the kiss. He loved to make her happy and he knew those tears were from happiness.
"Are you serious?"
He nodded.
"But…you need to do an exam to be accepted in Berkeley…besides what about the pack?"
"They can handle without me. As for the exam…I've got it covered."
"Are you sure about this?" Leah wasn't still convinced that he was willing to let everything go for her. She had never been chosen before. She was always put aside.
"We have two options: either you're coming back to La Push with me or I stay here with you. I'm not going to make you choose between me and your studies so…"
"But you'll have to leave your family, your friends…"
"I've made up my mind and I've chosen you, Leah. You're my family now, my friend, my everything."
Leah didn't think it was possible to feel more happiness than that, at least not after living through hell for three years.
"Don't get used to what I'm about to say because I won't say it often..." She looked at him and felt absolutely sure about what she was about to say. "I love you, Jacob."
Jacob smiled. She had finally admitted, she had finally told him the words he wanted to hear for so long. For now on he was going to make sure she'd be happy. He was going to live for her and no one else.
"I love you too Leah." He replied pecking her lips. "But…I'll love you more as soon as we defile that bed over there…"
Leah wrapped her legs around his waist again and pushed him up eliciting a moan from him.
"Take me to the bed and make love to me again…" She purred. "You were supposed to be convincing me, right?"
"I thought I'm the alpha here." Putting his hands around her thin waist he lifted her body off the table. "But you're definitely my beta…don't worry."
"I'll be whatever you want." She rested her forehead on his and hugged him tightly. "Now take me to the bed and convince me." She demanded.
Jacob didn't reply. He joined his lips to hers and descended down her neck before placing her down on the bed. He smiled happily. He was finally whole, he was finally with her and this time it would be forever.
T/Note: In my and Fey Black's name I thank all the readers and reviewers. Thank you so much and take care, Karisan.