Chapter 1

The insatiable thirst for everything which lies beyond, and which life reveals, is the most living proof of our immortality.
-Charles Baudelaire

January 16th, 2007

So thirsty. So very thirsty...

In the beginning he had the strength, and he ran. He ran far and fast, away from humanity, afraid of its siren call, afraid for the first time of what he had become. In his human life, he had always been the dependable sort, the type that kept to his promises. So to promise Susie that he would never again...well, he simply would; only he didn't know how. The first day, he used his repulsing power whenever he scented a human, but after the second day, he no longer sensed a human nearby.

He ran north, then northwest, knowing the farther north, the less people he would likely encounter. After all, its not like the cold bothered him as it did humans. He felt a shimmer of remorse for leaving Riley Park without Bree, hoping she was okay, but pretty sure she too, was gone.

Fred had a pretty good idea that Riley and his maker had kept a pretty tight rein on all of them because there were rules. He chuckled humorlessly at the thought of vampire police, but hell if he wanted to find out the hard way. He felt angry then, that they weren't told the rules. Course, that would mean they'd have to own up to the load of horseshit they'd been given about the fight. Only certain days of the year, my ass, he thought to himself. He figured that, but very cautiously tested it out on the first sunny day he was free. (though, it wouldn't be fair to say, he would've been upset to have just toasted up like a roasted marshmallow if he'd been wrong). He wondered what else they'd lied about. If it weren't for the human temptation, he might have considered finding those other vampires. After all, if they were against his maker, they couldn't be ALL bad, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all that.

He rather suspected that the fight was contrived, and had nothing whatsoever to do with territory. They weren't created to hold onto territory; after all, the more vampires created, the more they had to share. It's not like any of those idiots he'd had to exist with would consider such things. Except perhaps Bree. Then he thought about what Riley had said, that the other vampire coven had a human pet. Something in his head struck him that the word pet didn't fit, and was another piece of Riley's subterfuge.

But the thought intrigued him. Vampires who obviously had learned to control their thirst around humans. If nothing else, it gave him hope. Perhaps he too, could have some semblance of a life, and somehow atone for his mistakes.

Which is why he was currently hiding out in the wilds of Alaska, in the middle of nowhere, and not even a whiff of human scent to stray past his nose in those 6 months. It was a blessing and a curse. He had seen his eyes turn black in the reflection he could catch in ice. and the THIRST...he was concerned he was going to lose his mind, but he didn't care. He had nothing left anyway. He couldn't return to his grieving parents, didn't have Bree to care for. He had nothing BUT thirst. It reminded him he still existed.

Fred looked out over the frozen landscape from the mountainside. He sat in the soft snow, leaning against a fir tree catching the sparkle of his skin as the sun broke through the pine boughs. The quiet almost echoed, nearly a sound in itself, like being wrapped in batting. His mouth felt like cotton, and he couldn't get a mouthful of venom if his life depended on it. His throat no longer burned, it sang, begging for blood. Had he still be human, it would've encompassed his entire being, but being a vampire meant there was far more room for mental wandering in his head.

He used the time, once again, to think back to that night, when his sister died. He tried carefully to consider each of his victims from that night, but the feeding frenzy was upon him, and the glut of human destruction made it difficult for even a vampire to remember each detail. He couldn't remember seeing his sister; he would've noticed, certainly. But did he feed off a blonde? That was the question that had him try to carefully recreate each victim from that night. His body tensed as if to cry, even knowing that he couldn't. He'd been trying for six months, and still he couldn't be quite certain.

What he wouldn't do for something, anything that would take his mind off the thirst. A book, a frontal lobotomy, anything. Someone to talk to. Someone who could explain to him what to do, how to avoid being the stuff of nightmares, if such a thing was possible. If not, then perhaps they would have the secret to ending his existence.

At least, if he DID die, he'd already spent his time in purgatory. He took a deep breath of the frigid, crisp air hoping it would kill some of the burn in his throat. It didn't, but it didn't stop him from trying.

He knew he was weakening. He just wasn't sure if a vampire could kill himself that way, or if he would simply put himself one level closer to the fires of his personal hell.

The thirst and the quiet. He thought of writing a poem about it. He played with words in his head, laughing self-derogatorily at himself, and then stiffened. The tone of the quiet changed. Animals avoided him like the predator he was, so he had become accustomed to the deep, muffled quiet of snowy solitude. But he heard something, and then smelled the faint scent of another vampire. He sent out a strong pulse of repulsion before wondering if vampires can lose touch with reality like humans can.

He settled back into the snow bank against the tree, and once again ran the events at the ferry through his head.

Fuck! What was that? Tanya thought to herself. A sudden burst of nausea ran through her body, as though she'd tried to consume human food. Her stone muscles contracted in her stomach, tried to purge the invisible food, causing her to fall to her knees. She could smell the vampire, knew it was there, but could also tell that it was weak, starving even. She had to assume it didn't want help, but she was still concerned. A starving vampire was an out of control vampire. Quickly, she found her feet, and sprinted home to share the information of their visitor with her family.