Five Years in the Life

A/N: Once again, thank you all for reading! I really hope you all are enjoying these little stories. Fair warning- there is a very good chance you will cry during this one. But I hope you like it and remember, reviews are love! :)

BTW: I totally uploaded two chapters yesterday, so go back and read chapter 2 if you missed it. It is adorable, if I may say so myself. I really liked writing 15 year-old Kate, she's quirky and snarky. lol.

Chapter 3.

Twenty year-old Kate tipped the bottle back into her mouth, letting the few remaining drops of vodka burn their way down her throat. Her mother was dead. Her father was God knows where and not answering his phone. She ran her fingers over the cover of the book in her lap absent-mindedly. It was habit now, a calming gesture, like his books would give her strength to get through this. Kate swayed slightly as the alcohol made her feel like she was floating away. It was two in the afternoon but she didn't care. She didn't care about anything. The semester was over— her first semester at NYU, her first semester as a criminal justice major. She didn't have anything to focus on anymore- no textbooks, tests or papers to get lost in. Now, she had time to think about her dead mother, her suddenly absent father and the giant gaping hole that her life had fallen into over the course of the last few months. She was tumbling down a rabbit hole and she wasn't quite sure where she would end up.

Kate sighed as she looked down at the glossy book cover. She had bought it for herself as an end of semester gift. She didn't even want to think about Christmas this year, so it wasn't a Christmas present, it was a 'congratulations for surviving the worst year of your life' present. She could deal with that. She ran a hand through her hair as she sat on the ratty couch in the middle of her dark apartment. She hadn't bothered to turn on the lights when she got up this morning. What was the point? She hadn't changed out of her pajamas or brushed her hair, why should she turn on the lights? She had simply gotten up, poured herself a bowl of cornflakes and grabbed the bottle of vodka out of the freezer. The cornflakes now sat untouched as a bowl of mush on the table and the bottle of vodka was empty. Merry Christmas to her.

Her eyes drifted over to the white paper angel that lay on the table. She had picked it off of the tree out of habit a couple of days before as she had shopped for the few remaining Christmas presents on her list. She had memorized the information.

Sofia. Age 8. Likes board games, roller skates and superheroes. Purple is her favorite color.

Kate uncurled herself from the couch and bent over to pick up the little Angel Tree ornament. She sighed and tilted her head to the side as she stared at the name. Purple had been her favorite color, too. That's why she had picked the little girl: purple and superheroes.

The hot water burned away the alcoholic haze as Kate leaned against the cold tile wall of the shower. She scrubbed the shampoo into her scalp and rubbed the soap over her face. Her eyes focused more as the swaying eased. She groaned as she felt the headache start. She really had to stop drinking like this. It wasn't healthy. She was already worried about her dad and how much he had been drinking lately. She didn't need to do the same thing to herself. Spinning off the knobs, she stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her body. Pausing in front of the mirror she used her hand to wipe away the steam and looked at the young woman staring back at her. Her hair had gotten long. It was plastered to her shoulders and the sides of her face as little drops of water fell down her back and got absorbed into the towel. The freckles on her nose had faded over the past couple of years and if she was wearing make up she couldn't even see them anymore. Kate ran a finger over the bridge of her nose and bit her bottom lip gently. She stared into the mirror and drew in a breath, steeling herself. She could do this. She could get dressed and go to the store. She could buy presents for little Sofia and put them in the Angel Kids drop box just like every year. She could put on her jacket and walk around the city in her leather boots with the impossibly tall heels. She could keep on living even though her mother was dead.

She could do this. She could make herself care.

Everyone needed a superhero sometimes. Maybe this year she could be Sofia's and Sofia could be hers.

Kate paused to lean against the rail and stare at the tree in Rockefeller Center. The lights twinkled and danced in the hazy grey pink and orange dusk of the city. She had left little Sofia's gifts in the drop box on the corner. She had gone a little bit overboard and had bought everything for the girl: three board games, a manicure and pedicure kit with bright purple sparkly nail polish, a pair of awesome bright green and purple roller skates and a stack of new comic books. She was flat broke now but she didn't care. At least Sofia would have a good Christmas.

She lifted the vanilla latte to take a sip. The scalding fluid burnt her lips and would leave little blisters on the roof of her mouth. Her tongue felt raw as the burning liquid ripped away layers of her skin. She sighed and took another sip. At least she was feeling something. She stared at the lights. She and her mother had come here every year to just stare at the tree. All three of them: she, her mother and father would go ice-skating at the beginning of the season when the rink was first opened every year. Well except for that one time when she was seventeen, but she tried not to think about that. She had been a bitch and if she had known… if she had only known… She would have been better.

"I promise, Mom. I didn't know…" Kate whispered to the tree. "I am so sorry. I promise, I didn't know."

The tears spilled from her eyes once again as she stared at the tree twinkling happily in front of her. If she had known her mother was going to die she wouldn't have pushed them away in her stupid fight for teenage independence. She would have pulled them closer and held on for as long as she could have. She would have stayed in New York instead of fighting for space and independence in California. She would have cherished every single moment.

A giggle pulled Kate from her memory and she swiped a hand across her face and brought her coffee up to her lips once more as she turned her head to see a small red headed girl wrapped around a man's back, arms clinging to his neck as he gave her a piggy back ride.

Kate stared at the pair. He looked very familiar. Blue eyes, brown hair, soft impish smile. She could have sworn she knew him from somewhere.

"Please Daddy!" The little girl pleaded. "Can we go see Santa?"

"Alexis," the man responded teasing her by trying to turn around in a circle to see her, swinging the girl wildly behind him as he jerked around. "Wait! Where did you go? Stop moving."

Alexis began giggling uncontrollably at her father's antics.

"Daddy," She chastised softly and Kate smiled through her tears. They were cute.

The father bent his knees so his daughter could slide off of his back and reached around to grab her hand.

"Alexis you don't even believe in Santa anymore why do you want to go see him?"

Alexis shuffled her feet a little and looked down at the ground. "I want to ask him to bring Mommy home for Christmas."

Kate sucked in a breath ad turned back towards the railing, coffee up by her face in an attempt to hide her expression.

"Oh sweetie, Mommy has to work that's why she can't come home for Christmas."

"But that's stupid. You don't have to work on Christmas. Gram doesn't either."

"I know sweetie but Mommy lives very far away and she just can't come this year. How about this, when we get home we will call her, okay?"

"Plus, you don't want to sit on Santa's lap anyway," the man continued as he kneeled down to straighten his daughters jacket and pulled her hat down over her eyes.

"Why not?"

Kate mumbled a response and grinned as the same words passed through the man's lips at the same time. "Because it is just creepy."

Alexis giggled again as she pushed up her hat with mitten covered hands, uncovering her eyes again. "It's not creepy Daddy. It's magical!"

Kate smiled and the man laughed as his daughter threw her arms out so she could spin in circles, taking in the spirit of Christmas.

She watched as the man bent down and the girl climbed on his back once again and they took off down the street. She turned back towards the tree after they disappeared and drew in a deep breath, sipping at her quickly cooling drink. The lights twinkled and danced as the sun faded from sight and darkness fell over the city. She felt a warmth radiating from colorful bulb ornaments and she lifted her gaze to stare at the angel shining down on her from the top of the tree.

"I love you, Mom," She whispered as she stared up winged figure glowing in the night sky. "Always and forever."