Sorry these chapters aren't very long! I'm doing my best. I still only own Benny.
"Hello, Dr. Wolowitz. Howard," Sheldon said in greeting as the couple entered the apartment. Howard made a slashing motion with his hand.
"Howard," Bernadette said, "that's not how you give someone the finger."
"It's the…moving finger," Leonard said, turning his palms up momentarily to show his lack of amusement. Bernadette looked at him, then to Howard, and then finally to Sheldon. "Where's Amy?"
"She's changing Benny in Penny's apartment."
"Still won't let her do it here?" Bernadette asked.
"You keep asking me that, Bernadette, when you know the answer. It baffles me as to why that is."
"Penny was doing the same thing this morning," Amy said, entering the apartment with Benny in her arms. "It must be a girl thing, and now that I've come to that conclusion I feel very left out."
"Hey Benny," Bernadette said, ignoring Amy's comment and stepping toward the baby. "How's our boy?" She took him from Amy and got him settled in her arms. "I hear you guys got him to laugh yesterday."
"Yes, but we'd rather not talk about it," Sheldon said, putting his hands behind his back.
"Why not?" Howard asked.
"They were working on math problems on Sheldon's board and had him propped up so he could see, and when Sheldon said…"
"No!" Sheldon yelled. "Child is present, don't say it."
Leonard glared at Sheldon for a moment before continuing. "…when Sheldon said d – e – r – i – v –a – t – i – v – e Benny acted like it was the funniest thing since Achmed."
"Please tell me you haven't shown the baby Achmed," Bernadette said.
"He's just a kid," Amy said, "he doesn't understand."
"Then why is it such a big deal that he laughed at the derivative?" Bernadette asked.
"No!" Sheldon and Amy shouted.
Too late. Benny's mouth turned into a smile and he started to giggle. Amy and Sheldon looked at each other in horror.
"You didn't answer my question," Bernadette said.
"Science is not a laughing matter," Sheldon said. "Unless of course you're making fun of the dirt people. Or engineers."
Bernadette and Howard, yet to sit down, turned when they heard the door open. "Hey," Penny said, entering the apartment. "There's Benny!" She said in her baby – voice. Bernadette handed the Shamy's son over, and Penny curled her arms around the infant. "Happy eleven weeks!" she said to the boy, smiling down at him. She walked around Bernadette and sat in the wooden chair by across from the couch.
"Do you want this one?" Leonard asked, gesturing to the chair he was in.
She shook her head. "I'm okay." She looked down at the baby. "Derivative!"
Sheldon threw up his hands.
Amy sidled up to Penny and smiled. "Are you saying that because you know that it will make him laugh?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Penny asked.
Amy beamed. "It is. Which is why I was saying it."
"I'm confused," Penny said, furrowing her brow.
"Amy thinks that you and Bernadette state the obvious all the time because you're girls and that's what girls do," Leonard said.
"And it's quite nonsense if you ask me," Sheldon said. "No offense to Amy, of course, but as Leonard states the obvious every time he writes up a report; it's not just a habit that women fall into."
Penny glanced at Leonard and smirked; he did his best to hide his returning look of amusement and both wiped the grins off their faces the instant Sheldon looked at them.
"So, uh…" Howard looked around. "Where's Raj?"
"He flew home," Sheldon said. "His sister is sick."
"Priya?" Leonard asked.
"No, his older sister," Amy said. "Apparently whenever she gets sick his mother, to use the clinical term, flips out."
"How do you two know all of this?" Howard asked, looking confused.
"He was trying to play with Benny when he got the news," Amy said. "As if a three month old child could understand Chutes and Ladders."
"You were trying to teach him about…" Howard cut off when Sheldon and Amy sent him identical warning looks.
"The d – e – r – i – v – a – t – i – v – e – s?" Bernadette offered.
Howard looked at her. "Yes," he said very seriously. He looked back at the Shamy. "I can't believe you guys are making us spell stuff out for a three - month - old."
"Derivative!" Penny said in the baby – voice again, looking down at Benny. The infant howled with baby laughter.
"I give up," Sheldon said to Amy. "I give up. Our child is going to grow up with no appropriate appreciation for science."
"He's three months old, Sheldon, I'm sure when you were three months old your mother had high hopes for you as a religious man."
"Exactly!" Sheldon said. "And look how I turned out!" He looked at the baby. "Theoretical physicist!"
Benny grinned and gave another laugh.
"Aw, poor Shamy," Penny said, grinning.
"More like 'poor Sheldon'," Amy said, folding her arms.
"How so?" Sheldon asked her crossing his own arms in challenge.
Amy looked at him for a long moment, and then bent over Penny and the baby. "Neurobiologist." After a few moments of silence, she looked up at Sheldon and smiled smugly.
Sheldon looked back at her, and then down at their son. "Geology!" The baby laughed. "Well, there's some hope for him, at least," he said, shrugging.