Tony Fredericks felt terrible. As he and his men continued the search through the temple and the surrounding area, he couldn't help but feel that this whole thing was his fault. He knew he'd been an ass to O'Neill and less than professional. The Colonel had gone out of his way to fit in, to not try and take over and yet they'd treated him as if he were an arrogant know it all.
The worst part of the whole thing, he admitted to himself, was that he'd allowed his attitude to affect his men. Talk about unprofessional! He knew that they'd done what they had as a result of the way he'd treated and spoken about the Colonel. He took full responsibility although he knew he would also have to discipline them.
Well, he was going to have to confess everything to Hammond and he'd probably lose his position as team leader – at the least. If he was lucky they'd leave him at the SGC, although he knew if they didn't find the Colonel he could be looking at some pretty serious discipline.
Right now however, he had to put aside his worries about his future and just concentrate on finding O'Neill. He couldn't figure out where the man had gone. They had as yet to find a single clue and time was moving on. It had already been over a day and a half. If the man was hurt it was going to be bad.
"Anything yet Major", he asked Carter as soon as he saw her. He'd realized, during their time on the planet, that she was one hell of an officer. He could understand O'Neill's defense of her. She was also one gorgeous woman, although he would never say anything like that, of course. He wondered how O'Neill – or Jackson or Teal'c, for that matter, could work with her day in day out without falling for her. In just a few hours he'd already been smitten.
"No, nothing." She looked up at him with a frown. "I can't figure it out. He wouldn't just leave without some kind of sign and we've seen nothing to indicate there was anyone else here. It's almost as if he just disappeared."
"Maybe it was the Asgaard", he said, knowing of their propensity for 'beaming' O'Neill onto their ships.
"I thought of that too, but they've always alerted us when they've taken him and we've heard nothing and there's been no sign of them."
"Don't worry Major Carter – we'll keep looking until we find him."
"Thank you Tony", she replied. "I appreciate all you and your men are doing, and I know the Colonel will as well. He always said you were a good officer."
Crap – how to rub it in! He closed his eyes and really wished he could do over the last few days. What the hell had been wrong with him?
"I'm afraid he was wrong about that Major", he replied quietly. "I – I was a jerk to O'Neill and I owe him a huge apology – when we find him of course." He smiled tightly.
Sam looked at him in confusion, wondering what he meant, although right now she didn't want to expend the energy to worry about it. Fredericks had been nothing if not helpful and cooperative so she just shrugged and continued her search. "Yeah – we'll find him", she said, giving him a small smile in return.
"Where are you guys?" Jack choked out. He was sure they would have come for him by now. He didn't know how much time had passed, but from the way he was feeling he was pretty sure it had been too long. Again he started to worry that they'd been captured. There was no way he'd let himself believe they were dead.
He took another drink of water and knew things were bad when only a drop came out. He still had a bit of food but that would do him no good if he died of dehydration! Instantly, knowing he was out of water, he began to crave a drink. He knew it was mostly psychological at this point – what you don't have you want. What he didn't realize was that he'd lost a lot of blood and therefore his need for water was greater than usual.
The one good thing, he decided, was that the pain was much less in his legs. "Must be getting better", he murmured to himself. Again, it wasn't that they were any better – in fact, they were worse. They had gone numb. Much longer and there would be permanent damage although his mind was too cloudy to realize it.
"Sam – where are you?" he whispered. "You're always here for me when I need you. Please, find me." He started thinking about his second in command and wished, not for the first time, that the regulations weren't in the way. He would love to ask her out, to spend time getting to know her outside of work. Oh, he knew her– they did spend team nights together and he'd seen her in all sorts of situations but it was different than if they could go out together. He'd love to sit across the table from her, soft candle light illuminating her face, and talk to her about things other than aliens, astrophysics or the air force.
He lay there and allowed himself to dream about Sam Carter. It kept his mind off the pain and the dire situation he was in and made him determined to keep going. For once he allowed himself to dream, to wish and to hope. Although she would never know it, Sam Carter was saving his life again, even when she wasn't there.
"Sam, Teal'c!" Daniel shouted. He was standing reading some of the writing along one wall. He had only just found it as it was in an obscure hallway and he'd almost missed it.
"What is it Daniel", Sam ran up, out of breath. "What have you found?"
Just then Teal'c arrived, an expectant look on his face. "What is it Daniel Jackson? Have you discovered something to lead us to O'Neill?"
"Maybe", he said excitedly. "I just found this writing – I almost didn't see it. I started to translate it and realized it was talking about Anagolay!" he exclaimed.
His two friends looked at him blankly and he grinned, knowing he was irritating them. "Anagolay is a goddess."
"We figured that Daniel – but how does it, or she, help us?"
"Well, she was the goddess of 'lost things'." He turned to them and shook his head when they didn't seem to get it. "Lost things! Who do we know who is lost right now?" he asked.
"We get it Daniel but I still don't see how this is going to help us. Unless you think she had something to do with taking the Colonel." Sam suddenly looked worried. "Do you think she is a Goa'uld?"
"No, I don't think she's even here", he explained. "I think she was a one of a pantheon of gods and was worshipped by the people of this planet many, many years ago. I've seen no evidence of any Goa'uld here at all."
"Okay then, what does it mean and how does it help us?" she asked impatiently.
"This temple – it's partially in her honor, at least this section of it is. I think that maybe the temple itself was built in such a way as to worship her by allowing people to lose things and then, with her help, to find them again. At least that's what the writings seem to indicate."
"The temple helps people lose things? How?"
"I don't know. I haven't gotten that far yet but it does talk about the worshippers who come and have lost 'that which is most important to them.' It says that through prayer and by the hand of the goddess the 'lost shall be found.' I'm sure this is it Sam, Teal'c." Daniel turned back to the wall to continue translating, hopeful that there would be more clues.
"Are you saying, Daniel Jackson, that the building may have hidden the Colonel? We have seen no evidence of any technology or anything that could be capable of hiding O'Neill."
"Maybe that's our problem" Daniel exclaimed. "We've assumed it's either aliens or something high tech that's responsible. What if that's not it at all."
"What are you saying?"
"Don't you remember all those old horror movies?" he asked. "Remember the fireplaces that turned around, the secret doorways, all those kinds of things in haunted houses? What if that's what we have here?"
"Secret doorways?" Sam asked.
"Yeah, why not. Maybe he's right here, right under our noses but we have yet to find him."
"But if that was true, why wouldn't he simply have radioed us or even just shouted?"
"I don't know', Daniel began to look frustrated. "Look, this is the first theory we have to go on. I'm sorry if you don't think it's worth anything but I thought it might help."
"I'm sorry Daniel, you're right. It's totally plausible – I guess I'm thinking too much again!" Both the men realized, at that moment, that she was holding on by a thread. Sam took things very much to heart and hated when she couldn't solve something. They also knew that she cared greatly for the Colonel and felt it was her place to make sure he was okay. "So, what do you think we should do?" she finally asked
"I'm going to finish translating this to see if it gives us anymore information. In the meantime, why don't you try and check out the walls and anything that looks like it might conceal something."
At least now they had something to do, she thought. She radioed Fredericks and explained Daniel's theory. He called his men in and for the rest of the day they checked out everything they could.
They did find a number of hidden rooms and cubby holes, adding weight to Daniel's theory. The first time Sam had found a room concealed behind a panel her heart had practically leapt into her throat. She was sure it would open and she'd find the Colonel. Instead, she'd found the skeleton of a long-dead rodent. Still, it had given her hope that they would find him.
It finally grew too dark to continue and Sam called everyone back out of the temple and into camp. They compared notes and began to map out where they'd look the next day. Daniel had been totally silent, going over his notes.
"Daniel, did you find anything else?" Sam finally asked
"Huh?" He looked up, startled. "Oh, sorry. I was just checking this over, to make sure I got it right. It's some kind of test, clearly given to supplicants. I think what would happen is that the priests or priestesses of the temple would take an offering and hide it. The person who gave it would then have the opportunity to find it. If they did, it meant they were blessed and could leave with their 'offering'. If they didn't, whatever it was would remain in the temple as a gift to the goddess. Not finding it meant that the supplicant was a sinner and would therefore need to give this gift as a way to atone. I think that it was expected that whatever was 'offered' was of real value to the supplicant."
"It sounds like the priests or priestesses would have a vested interest in hiding the object really well, so they could keep it!" Smith chimed in. "Sounds like a scam to me!"
"It probably was", answered Daniel seriously. "Of course to these people it would have been very serious and was part of their religion. I'm also sure that the guardians of this place would have to make sure that some, at least, of the offerings were found, otherwise it would look too suspicious."
"They probably picked the stuff they didn't want", Beaton said.
"So, what does this mean for O'Neill?" It was Teal'c who finally brought the conversation back to what was important.
"Well, it means he's probably in one of the really hard hiding places. Some place they didn't want people to find."
"But we've tried everything Major", Beaton added. "We've used the metal detectors, sound scanners, everything and there's no sign of him. Surely we should be able to find him if he's really here!"
Sam bit her lip, having thought much the same thing. They'd been over practically every square inch of the temple, checking walls, room, nooks and crannies. She didn't know where else they could look.
"It's got to be somewhere where no one would think to look", Daniel said. "They needed to have a place to hide large objects that they didn't want found. Let's think! Where haven't we looked – someplace that's not obvious but that's in the temple?"
The two teams sat around the fire, thinking of any possibility but not coming up with anything.
"We've checked every wall in the damn place", Major Fredericks said in frustration. "We've climbed up on the roof and looked through every window and door. We've been up and down every staircase there is and haven't seen a damn thing!"
"Down", Daniel said softly.
"What?" Sam looked at him in perplexity.
"We haven't looked 'down'", he replied.
"But Daniel, there is no 'down'. We've determined that it doesn't have any kind of basement or cellar. The temple is build on solid rock. It only goes 'up' to the second floor."
"I know, but there may be a hidden cellar or well or something. Other than checking to see if there was a door or stairway leading down we haven't bothered to look at the floors in each of the rooms."
"Great – you mean we now have to go back and pound on all the floors?", Smith whined.
The others, including his two teammates, all glared at him.
"Okay, okay – sorry – I don't mean I won't help – it just seems a waste of time."
"Well, it's all that's left."
The next morning Sam organized everyone and mapped out the temple. They figured it would take a couple of days to go through the whole thing. Of course, they all hoped that they'd find him well before that.
He was cold, so cold. He had tried to keep warm under his sleeping bag but it didn't seem to be helping anymore. He could no longer move or even try to look after his wounds. His mouth was like sandpaper and he knew that there was no use trying to eat, even if he had been hungry.
He kept falling in and out of consciousness and had stopped thinking of his friends. Now, his thoughts were on those who had already died before him. He had come to the realization, and the acceptance, that he wasn't going to be found. He was now preparing himself to meet those of his friends and family who were already gone.
He'd even prayed that he would soon see his son. He didn't know if he was worthy or not, but he hoped – in fact, it was the only thing that made dying bearable.
Finally, the pain, the thirst, the cold, the hopelessness was too much. With a final goodbye he slipped into a deep sleep, from which he expected never to wake up – at least not in this universe.
It was getting late again but Sam was determined to keep going. Two more SG teams had arrived to take their place but both Sg1 and Sg8 had insisted on staying. With more hands there was more likelihood they would find him.
She was so tired! She rubbed her hands over her eyes and forced herself to stay awake and alert. She would not give up – not until they'd found him. God – she didn't know what she'd do if they didn't. Colonel O'Neill – Jack – meant too much to all of them – meant too much to her.
"SAM!" Daniel's voice shouted through the ever growing darkness of the evening. "I've found something!"
Sam turned and ran towards Daniel. She could hear the others coming from all directions, all of them hoping, praying that it was the Colonel.
She saw Daniel kneeling down in a dark hallway. He was tapping the floor gently.
"It's sounds different", he said, excitement in his voice. "There's something under here."
One of the men from Sg9 shone a light where Daniel was kneeling. "It doesn't look any different", the Captain said.
"No, but it is. Look here", he pointed. "You can see the seam."
Everyone looked closely and Sam could feel her heart start to beat faster. Daniel was right. There was a crack between some of the stones. "Be careful Daniel. If it is hollow under there you could fall through."
The archaeologist hadn't even thought of that! With a startled look he scampered over to the side, away from the stones. After he had moved all of them could suddenly see that the stones, in an area about 3 feet square, were a slightly different color and that a seam ran around them.
"He's right", Fredericks said, squatting down. There is something different here. But how the hell do we find out what's underneath? These stones look bloody heavy."
"Maybe there's a lever or something", Sam replied. Instantly, everyone began to search for some mechanism which would open what they hoped was a trap door.
After 15 minutes they'd come no closer to finding anything. "We could blast it open", someone suggested.
"Yeah, and if O'Neill is down there – what then? The rocks will fall and crush him!"
"We'll have to go back and get some equipment Major", Lieutenant Sigorski said. "I don't think there's any way we can get in with what we've got."
Sam agreed, although she hated the thought that they would have to wait. Something inside was telling her that this was it. She was sure he was here – in what kind of shape she had no way of knowing. She just prayed he was alive.
She nodded to the Lieutenant and he headed back with his team to the SGC. It was only after they'd gone that she happened to notice Teal'c. He hadn't said very much but now he was looking up, a strange expression on his face.
"What is it Teal'c?" she asked.
"I do not know Major Carter. I believe I saw movement in the window of that building", he pointed to the tower overhead.
"Do you think someone's there?" she asked softly, pulling out her hand gun.
"I do not know", he replied. "I believe we should look, however."
After a few minutes discussion it was decided that Teal'c, along with Sg8, would try and find out what was in the tower.
"Be careful Teal'c, Tony", Sam said. "We don't know what's up there."
"We will Major", Fredericks replied, "although I was up there yesterday. There was nothing there – just a lot of guano."
Teal'c looked confused at this so Sam let out a small laugh, "bird poop Teal'c. It's just a nicer way of saying it."
He nodded, his face showing no expression, although his mind again wondering at human speech.
Sam watched as the men headed out. They were soon lost to sight as they entered the building and she was left with Daniel and Sg9. She could feel her frustration mount and wanted to scream at the waiting. They had to find him – they had to get him out of there!
Suddenly, there was a flurry overhead and what looked like hundreds of birds flew out of the window. Hopefully the birds were what Teal'c had seen. She continued to look up when she heard a sound from Captain Mary Codewell.
"Major", Codewell said, a strange tone in her voice.
"What is it Captain."
"Look Ma'am". The Captain was pointing down. Where there had been solid rock, a moment ago, now there was a hole in the ground.
"Oh my God", Daniel exclaimed. He hurriedly threw himself to his knees, quickly followed by Sam. They both tried to look down but it was too deep and too dark. "Flashlight!" Daniel said, holding his hand out but continuing to look down.
Someone handed him a powerful flashlight and he shone it down the hole. It seemed to go on forever, and the light wouldnl't penetrate to the bottom.
"Damn – if he is in here it's a long way down. I don't know if -"
"If he's there he's alive Daniel!" Sam answered, refusing to accept anything else.
"Uh, okay. How are we going to find out if he's there?"
"We'll get one of the floodlights", Airman Trellis answered. "I can get one in just a couple of minutes."
"Good – go", she said shortly. She then leaned into the hole, carefully holding on to Daniel. The last thing they needed was for her to fall in. "SIR!" she shouted. "COLONEL O'NEILL, ARE YOU DOWN THERE?"
There was nothing but silence, and she grimaced, wishing that Trellis would hurry up. "COLONEL!"
"JACK!" Daniel shouted, his deeper voice sounding louder in the still night air. While they'd been waiting the sun had set and it was growing ever darker. Just at that moment Teal'c returned with Sg8.
"Have you found something Major Carter", he asked, quickly moving to her side.
"Yes. When those birds flew away it somehow opened a trap door. It's deep though and we can't see to the bottom. We're waiting for – oh, thank you Airman." She reached out and took the battery operated flood light. With Teal'c helping she managed to turn it on and shine it down into the narrow shaft.
It took a minute for their eyes to make out what they were seeing. The shaft was at least 30 to 40 feet deep and very narrow. It was also extremely dark!
"I see something down there", Daniel cried. "It looks like a body – could it be -"
"It is O'Neill" Teal'c said definitively. His eyesight was better than theirs and he could clearly see the crumpled body of a man.
"God, how could he survive that?" Fredericks said softly. "Is he moving?"
"It does not appear so", Teal'c replied. "However I am sure that he lives. O'Neill is strong."
"How are we going to get down there?" Smith asked. "It's pretty narrow?"
"One of us will have to rappel down", Fredericks answered. "I can do it."
"No, it'll be better if it's me", Sam said quietly. "I'm the smallest and it'll be too tight for any of you to come back up with him." It was a good reason – a legitimate reason – but even if it hadn't been, she would still have insisted on being the one to go down. She had to be with him, and as soon as she could.
He was dreaming, he knew. He kept imagining that he heard their voices but was sure it couldn't really be them. They weren't coming – they were lost, gone. No one was coming for him – other than maybe God, if he was lucky, or something darker, if he got what he knew he deserved.
No, the voices were just in his imagination, so he wasn't going to answer – even if he could. He was totally still now, because any movement had become impossible. He was dying – he just wished it would hurry up and happen so that maybe the pain would go away.
Light – there was light up above him. For a minute the old Jack O'Neill emerged and he wanted to laugh. It was just too cliché – he wondered if somehow he was supposed to follow it? That would be fine, if he could move. As it was, he just kept his eyes focused on that damn light overhead. God, I sure hope you're not teasing me with that thing and aren't gonna keep me from going on up there!
After a while the voices, the light, all started to merge together and he felt himself drift off again. The last thing he heard was his name spoken by the woman he – okay Jack, you're dying so just say it - by the woman he loved.
"Here you go Major Carter." Teal'c had arrived back with the equipment. "I received a call on my radio and Dr. Frasier has come through from earth" he said. "She making her way towards us and will stay on the radio so that you can inform her of O'Neill's condition.
Janet thanked him and then took her radio and called Janet.
"Sam", the doctor said, "has he said anything?"
"No, nothing Janet. He hasn't moved either. I'm afraid he's -"
"Don't think that way", Frasier said. "It's probable that he's just unconscious. I'll stay on the line so let me know when you get down."
With a quick word she signed off and then got her equipment on and grabbed the supplies she'd need - and that she would be able to carry. Once everything was ready she nodded and began her descent.
It was difficult in such a narrow space. She was unable to push off with any great affect which meant that the descent was almost straight down. Thank goodness for the men up top who were lowering her carefully and slowly.
It didn't take long to get to the bottom, although to Sam it felt like forever. She wanted to hurry but at the same time she wanted to slow down. She was afraid of what she was going to find. If he was – no, don't thing that!
Suddenly she was down. She tugged on the rope to let them know and she stopped, her feet a few feet from the ground. She looked carefully around in order to find a place to put her feet. It was difficult as O'Neill's body was filling most of the space. She could also see that he'd removed his pack and things were lying around haphazardly.
She finally found a spot and signaled again. She was lowered a few more feet and then tugged on the rope once more. She then quickly undid her harness and squatted down to check on the Colonel.
He had been alive – she could tell from his pack and from seeing that he had a sleeping bag draped around him. But the fact that he wasn't moving –
She carefully put her fingers on his neck, trying to find his pulse. She had to force herself to calm down as her own pulse was pounding so hard she couldn't feel his. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying desperately to feel life.
"Sam?" a whisper of sound. Her eyes shot open and she found herself looking into the brown, pain-filled depths of her commander – and her friend.
"Sir? You're alive!" she said. Probably the most stupid words she'd ever uttered – but the most heartfelt.
"I am?" he asked, softly, so very softly.
"You are Colonel, and we're going to get you out of here and back home real quick." She suddenly snapped out of the euphoria that had hit her upon hearing his voice. He was in bad shape – that she could tell – so she'd better get moving. "I'm just going to let the others know you're okay and then we're going up together, okay?"
"Uh – okay" he answered. She could tell he was pretty much totally out of it, although he sounded reasonably lucid, thank God and seemed to know her. From the amount of blood on his head and face she worried that he ay have suffered a fractured skull.
She keyed the radio. "He's alive", she said shortly, "but he's in bad shape. I'm going to see what I can do but we need to get him up as soon as possible."
"Roger that Major" Fredericks answered. She was pretty sure Daniel and Teal'c would be too overcome to answer calmly.
When she moved the sleeping bag she had to keep herself from gasping. He was covered in blood and it was obvious that he had a number of broken bones. He shoulder was displaced and his arm lay at an odd angle and was terribly swollen. His legs looked the worse though – both of them broken and the one at an unnatural angle as well. She didn't know about any internal injuries, but she would have been shocked if there weren't any. How the hell was she going to get him up?
She took her radio and gave Janet a quick rundown of what she could see. He was semi-seated, although not moving and he had removed his pack, so she hoped there was no problem with his spine, although she couldn't tell for sure.
In the middle of talking to Janet Sam heard the Colonel groan. "Just a second Janet, something's wrong. Colonel, what is it?" She leaned forward and touched his face until he looked at her. His eyes were unfocused and he didn't seem to recognize her now. He groaned again, this time more loudly. Tears began to fall from his eyes.
"Janet, he's in real pain here. What do I do?"
After listening to the doctor she finally nodded and pulled out the medical kit she'd brought. She tried to bind up the shoulder and arm, although it was difficult in the tight space. She was pretty sure there wasn't much she could do for his legs. They'd have to deal with that back at the SGC. The Colonel had already bandaged the head wound, although blood had already seeped through. Rather than disturbing his work, she simply wrapped more bandages over top, hoping they would stop any remaining bleeding.
When the Colonel groaned again, for the third time, she'd had enough. She opened the kit and pulled out the morphine and a hypodermic needle. Janet had said to avoid it if at all possible – well, it wasn't possible. He was in terrible pain and it was only going to get worse when they pulled him out of here. He needed the relief.
"Sam?" he gasped, as if he terrified she'd left him.
"I'm just giving you something for the pain Sir and then we'll have you out of here in no time."
"Kay", he said. She was sure she hadn't imagined the relief in his voice. She couldn't envision what he'd been through, stuck in this dark hole for days.
She injected him with the morphine and watched as he slowly seemed to relax. His eyes remained open, and fixed on her, but they began to lose focus. After a few minutes he looked calmer and he'd stopped groaning.
Okay, now for the hard part. She contacted the men at the surface and waited until they had sent down the stretcher. It was a basket stretcher and it was going to be hard to maneuver, but she knew he wasn't up to going up in a harness. It would probably kill him.
She ended up having to lean the stretcher up against the wall, at an angle. There was no way it would fit lying down. Now, the problem was how to get the Colonel into it. There was no way he could stand, so it meant she was going to have to lift him and place him in it. This was going to be fun! Normally, she could carry him, if not for a long time. In these cramped quarters it was going to be practically impossible!
She sent up as many things as she could, trying to leave more room to move. Once all the supplies were up, except for the sleeping bag which she'd put back over the Colonel, she took a deep breath. "Okay Sir, this isn't going to be pleasant. I just wish you could give me a hand."
She finally decided the best thing to do would be to take his good arm and try to lift him over her shoulder, just as if she was going to do a fireman's lift. Once standing, she'd move him to the stretcher and lean him back into it. Her one worry was that his legs were going to have to take some of the pressure until he was tied in. Unfortunately, she didn't see any way around that.
It took a lot longer than she'd hoped, but eventually he was in and secured. She attached the ropes and her harness and then contacted Fredericks. "Okay Major, we're ready to come up. I'm going to stay with the Colonel so bring us up slowly. I'll signal if we need to stop."
The tension was taken up and the stretcher began to straighten as it was lifted up through the shaft. Jack appeared to be sleeping, or unconscious, for which she thanked God. She held on to the basket by wrapping her arms tightly around it and watched him carefully as they ascended.
It was about halfway up when his eyes opened and he looked directly at her. She could have sworn, just for a moment, that he smiled at her. After that however, his eyes grew big and he started to move his head back and forth. After a few seconds he began to bang it on the back of the stretcher, either in pain or fear, she couldn't tell which.
He was groaning in earnest by the time they reached the surface and she figured that the pain must have been unbearable, even with the morphine. It was only as they pulled the stretcher up through the top of the shaft, that he again fell unconscious.
Fortunately there were people with medical training so in moments, under the direction of Dr. Frasier, they had him hooked up to IV's and covered with blankets. With hardly a word they began moving quickly, heading back towards the gate.
The only good thing, thought Sam, was with all the traffic back and forth and clear path had been worn which made travelling much faster and easier. It was still too far, however, and she was worried. The Colonel looked awful, now that she could see him more clearly. They had him on oxygen, his face covered with a mask, but still, she could see how pale and lifeless he looked. She was very afraid.
"You did good Sam", Daniel was beside her and he took her arm in his hand. "He'll be okay, you know. It's going to take a while, and he'll be crabby as hell, but he'll come out of this."
"I don't know Daniel", she cried. "You didn't see him. This is bad, really bad. Even if he does survive – I don't know if he'll ever walk again.