Sarah kicked around at the glittery sticks strewn across the winding stone pavilion. She was alone and conflicted.
"Grow up, grow up…what on earth can he mean? Grow up as in why the hell am I wandering around here like a crazy person…grow up as in will myself to forget everything…grow up as in suck it up…grow up as in…"
She went on like this for a while. It wasn't particularly flattering.
Gone was the fire of defiance, the burning will to obtain her desire. Eventually she sat deflated on a large stray stone, letting the cool seep into her aching legs.
Of course, she would still tremble and melt in his arms given the chance, but more and more she wondered if that was really the game at play.
Sarah hoped to god no one would come upon her. For one, she had no desire to explain herself. Secondly, well…oh she just couldn't be bothered. Nothing did any good as far as she was concerned. This wasn't a test or a task or anything she could meet and accomplish. No, this was a conundrum which defied explication, defied remedy, defied her will to comprehend.
Shaking the fleeting thought of his piercing gaze and devilish grin from her mind, she let her eyes rest in leaden stubbornness on the colorless sky above.
Ah, there's no point! A part of her screamed mutely. Nothing here is as it seems. How is anything supposed to mean anything at all? Why do I keep trying, keep wandering like a maniac?
But there was no answer for her question. No ear to hear the tumult in her soul. She was alone and there was little to do apart from accept…accept the general inanity…accept her own authorship in this insanity.