To the ones who pm'ed wondering if Carlisle & Esme are going to be vampires: yes, this is a Pre-Twilight fic. Carlisle & Esme will become vampires.

Thanks to Mackenzie for betaing this.

Thanks to kr2009, anhanninen and MelissaMargaret for WCing with me this story.

And thanks to all of you, who continue reading this VERY crazy fic.

Chapter III

Paramour

On that special evening the sunset tinted the beach in bright colors. Gold, strawberry, and ginger traced the sky whilst the Mediterranean mirrored the vibrant atmosphere. That reflection was shining on her face; illuminating her already fiery caramel hair and striking bright eyes.

In the course of their conversation, they had snuggled up to each other rather subconsciously…or perhaps consciously.

Not thinking about it, Carlisle moved his hand to take hers, and Esme accepted it with tenderness in response.

For the past two weeks they had been secretly meeting; walking, talking, and enjoying each other's company.

Esme could feel her face burning in a blush whenever he held her hand. It felt so nice that she didn't want to reject it, even though she knew they were crossing the limits.

They were in love, and they both knew it.

To Carlisle, Esme's presence was warm and comforting. She not only made him forget the difficulties he had to face, but also, his heart would burst with joy whenever she was by his side. Now that his departure was only a few days away, Carlisle couldn't help but wonder how life would be if he could take her with him to England; if he could make Esme his Queen. Every day would be like these mornings with her, and even during the coldest winters in Britain, Esme would be his sun.

He didn't want to leave her, and Esme didn't want him to leave either.

Lost in their very own thoughts, with their eyes gazing upon the crystalline blue sea, neither of them said a word.

It was true that their relationship was dangerous, that they had fallen for each other when destiny wouldn't allow them to be together. They would never be able to choose to be with each other, even when it felt absolutely perfect. To Carlisle, Esme was a girl of lower-class, and to Esme, he was a commoner as well.

Carlisle entwined his fingers between hers, not wanting to leave that warmth. To think these days would be the last ones they would be allowed to spend together… It was heartbreaking to know their feelings were impossible, that their love was impossible.

"The sunset must look prettier from the rocks over there." Carlisle suddenly nodded towards a cluster of giant rocks that entered into the ocean far along down the beach.

"It is." She turned to look at him, and a strange sense of warmth filled her. "There is an unused deck far above; it's all covered in sand though."

Never leaving her hand, he stood and then helped her up. "Have you been over there before?" He smirked

Esme smiled too. "You know how much I love nature, and that I'm a good climber."

"I can't argue with that." He chuckled.

They picked up their picnic blanket along with the basket of stolen cupcakes and cold tea they had been sharing, then they walked down the shore towards the cluster of rocks. The cool water tickled their feet as they went, hands held together as if trying to keep their bond tied the longest they could.

As only innocent lovers would do, between giggles and shy smiles, each cunningly turned to steal glances at the other.

It couldn't be more perfect.

Climbing the rocks was rather easy, as some of them were piled by nature like steps. Once on top, Carlisle was surprised that there was indeed a wooden deck, all covered with the same fine pearly sand of the beach. They walked towards the farthest part that entered into the sea as the soft breeze touched their clothes lightly.

"It's magnificent." He looked at the fine line of the horizon. The bright array of colors had melted into one sheen of gold. It was as if the sun was bathing everything below it in gold before saying goodbye.

"Doesn't it make you feel so free?" She asked, touching that omnipresent desire Carlisle wished he possessed: the freedom to choose - to choose her as his lover.

Mesmerized, he turned to look at her. "You make me feel free." His frankness didn't surprise him anymore; he had grown more confident every day he had spent with Esme, and his desire to let her know how much she meant to him was stronger than any bashfulness he could still possibly have left.

Carlisle's open declaration touched Esme deeply. Her lips opened to respond, but words failed to come out. How to reply to that?

"Don't say anything…" Out of character but very much in love, Carlisle's eyes locked on her lips as he boldly tilted his head down to touch them with a kiss. His hands moved over to take her waist and bring her closer to him, unconsciously wishing he could feel her body against his.

Esme's heart fell down into her stomach at the unexpected move. He noticed it, and with some embarrassment quickly pulled away at the realization of his unacceptable act.

She was in utter shock.

"I'm sorry." Carlisle released her. "I…"

"Don't." She shook her head, a rush of adrenaline flowing through her veins. "Don't say anything." She repeated his words before she tiptoed to press another kiss ontohislips…

Absolutely defeated by his desire, Carlisle folded his arms around her slim body again, pressing her against him while their lips savored each other's with delight.

It felt surreal, but it couldn't have been more genuine.

Not being able to hold each other for so long, they melted down onto the sand.

It was wrong, forbidden - yet this made all more desirable.

They were breaking all boundaries; Carlisle knowing he had to marry another woman, and Esme knowing she was a daughter of the empire. They were doing the inconceivable, yet still they silenced each other's thoughts with a kiss, with a caress.

Lying on the sand, they released each other's lips to catch their breath, but their arms didn't want to let each other go.

She rested her body on his as their eyes examined each other. His hand brushed a strand of long hair behind her ear to then lightly trail along the line of her face, finally touching her lips. The idea of taking her with him to England suddenly began to grow inside him. But how could he make that happen?It was something he was going to have to reflect on.

In an act Esme wasn't expecting, Carlisle suddenly rolled her onto her back and leaned his forehead to rest against hers. Her closeness, her being was everything he needed on earth.

"Above all the things on earth," He whispered, "my heart only answers to you."

His soul confirmed the obvious; Esme was the woman he was meant to be with. "Marry me."

His words made Esme shudder. It was something she had never expected him to say. Taking a deep breath, she simply reached up to caress his face, accompanying her response with that tender touch. "Yes."

His lips couldn't suppress the desire of capturing hers one more time. They had broken all bounds, and they could continue breaking them. Who was there to stop them?

Slowly, as they shared kiss, his hands travelled down to discover the marvelous curves of her body. Her summer dress was delicate enough to allow him to admire her that way.

It was a shame women had to hide themselves under so many pieces of clothing. He blushed hard at the thought. It surprised him how Esme had awakened a lascivious desire for her in him.

Filled with the same passion, Esme's hands softly embraced the sides of his body as they shared their kiss.

They touched each other in ways that would have made their mothers faint if they'd seen them.

Their legs entwined unconsciously, craving for what was forbidden, and their hands roamed their bodies, seeking to feel the hidden skin under their clothes.

It was undeniably the most breathtaking kiss ever - something they would secretly keep to themselves. Something they would never give to anyone else, ever.

Lost in passion, Carlisle gently eased his tongue into her mouth and she parted with no reluctance. It felt natural and beautiful, but it wasn't until Esme felt his gentle caresses becoming even more uninhibited that she pulled apart to look at him. Thanks to Jane's inquisitiveness towards the restricted section of the library back in Vienna, Esme had a vague idea of the lovers' ways.

"We shouldn't." She whispered breathlessly, knowing well what he was intending.

Carlisle didn't have any experience on the delicate subject, but he knew well what he wanted. He wanted to love her madly, and he was already resolute to make Esme his spouse. The rest didn't matter at all.

"We should." He blurted out. His heart was beating harder every second it passed, and his desire to love her was blinding his judgment.

They shouldn't - they shouldn't even have been there together - but they wanted to disappear in each other's arms. They wanted the world to be only about them while the rest faded away.

Esme wrapped her arms around his neck pulling Edward to kiss her again, and he did, and they got lost.

They got lost in forbidden kisses and caresses, exploring their bodies through the fabric of their clothes with the eagerness, curiosity, and awkwardness of the first time. They didn't know what they were getting into. They simply closed their eyes and allowed their burst of passion and love to guide their hands and the words of adoration that escaped their lips.

Carlisle lifted the skirts of Esme's dress and, drunk with passion, their bodies met in secrecy. Only the twilight witnessed it all, and it kept silent, and so did the moon and the stars the following nights.

o)O(o

It took Esme a long time to be able to climb the vines to her balcony that evening, and once in the parlor, her body still trembled recalling what she had done.

What they had done.

Her feet couldn't support her anymore. She took a deep breath before walking into the parlor she had left just that then she had been but a girl, but now she was a woman.

Her eldest sisters were there, gathered around a table, entranced by what it seemed were fabrics, but the girls were too lost in their own glee to notice Esme's presence.

With quiet steps she walked into her bedchamber, straight to her bed and dropped herself on it.

She closed her eyes, her body still aching from his touch, but it was the most wonderful sensation ever.

Edward loved her; she loved him, too, and now they were committed to each other forever.

She didn't know what the future would hold for them, her position was going to make things extremely complicated for Edward and her. Wishful, she buried her face in the pillow sighting deeply, wishing that her royal title would somehow vanish.

"Are you now going to slip away during the afternoons, too?" Heidi's voice suddenly asked. The girl stood by the end of Esme's bed, folding her arms across her chest.

Lost in a turmoil of thoughts and feelings, Esme only turned to look at her sister.

Heidi began to tap her foot on the floor. "Mamma ordered the seamstresses to bring the fabrics for our ball gowns."

Esme brought her hands to her face to rub her eyes, as if trying to get back to reality. "What ball gowns?"

"For Renata's engagement ball!" Corin walked past Heidi to pull Esme out of the bed. "The Queen confirmed with Mamma that the ball will be in a month!" The girl dragged Esme from the bed. "You have to choose a fabric for yours!"

Suddenly a piercing scream ripped the air, making Corin, Heidi, and Esme freeze in their struggle.

In that moment, Jane quickly entered the room. One of the corners of her lips was twisted into a mischievous smile.

"JANE!" Renata screamed as she entered the room, waving papers in the air. "How could you?" Her face was crimson red.

"You are quite hysterical." Relaxed, Jane leaned against the window frame. "And let me tell you that being hysterical is a sign of an emotional disorder."

"What happened?" Corin asked surprised.

"This!" Renata showed her sisters the embarrassing illustrations Jane had left on her bed.

Heidi and Corin immediately covered their mouths in awe.

"I was only trying to help you." Jane sighed. "Your husband is going to sleep unclothed in your bed, and you can't bear seeing those educational illustrations?

Renata's face turned even redder in shock. "Gentlemen don't sleep unclothed!"

"They do." Esme finally spoke, a smirk forming in her lips at the memory. "But it's not that bad. Our Jane was only trying to introduce you to the wedded life."

Heidi and Corin looked in surprise from Renata to Esme.

"Nude?" Renata looked perplexed.

"Of course," Jane went to sit by Esme's side. "It's the natural method to produce children, Renata... Or do you still think that a stork is going to drop them from the sky?"

Renata stood there for a second, blinking bewildered at the information she was receiving. Then, out of the blue, she quickly turned around to leave the room. Heidi and Corin ran after their sister.

"I got you the best," Jane whispered as she lifted the skirts of her dress to reveal the most beautiful bundle of fabric ever. "They were planning to give you the worst."

Esme smiled a little. "Thank you, Jane"

"Heidi used the telescope this morning, and she saw you walking down the shore with a man." Jane's voice was casual as she left the fabric on Esme's lap. "She told Corin."

Esme's mouth opened wide in shock.

"Be careful." Jane warned as another two screams ripped the air.

o)O(o

That late afternoon, Carlisle closed the doors of his bedchamber to everyone, excusing himself from tea.

He didn't want to see Renata. All he wanted to see, breathe, and touch was Esme.

Slowly, he paced towards his bed. His hand touched the bedcovers. That's where he wanted to make love to her again - on their bed.

On their wedding night.

He stood there for a moment, immersed in deep thought. They weren't married and he had made Esme his woman. A sudden sense of guilt invaded him.

What now?

There was only one plausible answer: marriage. Not only did he wantto marry Esme; he had to. However, it was impossible under the circumstances. He couldn't join in matrimony with Esme when he was practically engaged to Renata. He would have to break the pseudo-commitment first, by doing something that would put both of their countries in the worst of all positions. And later he would have to step down, destroying his parents' expectations and the hopes of an entire nation.

He closed his eyes. He didn't regret making love to Esme. He loved her more than anything in the world, but he felt he had abused his position by not telling her who he was.

Carlisle breathed heavily, wishing his title could disappear.

He couldn't marry Esme when he had a duty to fulfill by marrying Renata. But how could he just leave the love of his life behind?

It was unbearable.

Slowly, he walked towards the window. There was only an option left, a shameful option various gentlemen in the Court had chosen by marrying the woman they had to marry, but at the same time, had kept their true loves close to them.

A paramour.

It was something Carlisle had reproved, something that had sickened him, but something he was now able to understand. Those men were forced to marry women they never loved, but they had desperately managed to find a way to keep their true loves hidden and safe. They lived double lives. One was a masquerade to their frivolous society, and the other one was genuine and pure, but concealed from the public.

Unfortunately, it was consequently unfair to both women. Esme didn't deserve to be hidden, and Renata didn't deserve to be just a mere ornament.

Carlisle leaned on the window frame, begging God for a solution that would allow him marry Esme.

Thanks for reading, and for giving Royal Carlisle a chance. :)

Next update will come soon, very soon.