Kathryn Janeway paced the length of the briefing room, where her senior staff and her doppelganger were assembled. They had stopped a few lightyears away from the singularity, and that was where they remained for the moment. "I need options, people," the Captain said.
"If we boost the annular confinement beam of the transporter," Kim suggested, "could we remain far enough from the Kertipikah ships and still transport the Captain using the probe as a transporter relay?" Kim had done his best to approximate the name of the alien species, which was correctly pronounced with a series of clicks and tongue movements that seemed impossible to humans.
"Too risky," replied Torres. "We'd have to figure out a way to communicate with the other Voyager from a distance first, but even if we could do that, using the probe as a transporter relay is dicey enough at close range." With a sigh, Janeway stopped pacing and took her seat at the head of the table.
"We could try talking to the Kertipikah again," Neelix piped up. "Maybe they'll see that we really don't mean them any harm."
Tuvok raised an eyebrow. "Unlikely, Mr. Neelix. The Qrtpch did not seem to have any desire to negotiate with us, and since we are not bringing any new information to the table, it would be illogical for them to change their approach." Everyone at the table was staring at Tuvok; not because of his statement, but because of his flawless pronunciation of the alien species' name. The Vulcan, however, did not seem to notice the attention he had attracted.
"Tuvok's right," said Chakotay. "We have no reason to believe they're going to negotiate." He shared a glance with Kathryn before continuing, "I think we only have one option; taking Voyager back to the singularity and facing the alien fleet."
At this, the older Captain Janeway, who was standing in the corner observing the proceedings, balked. "I won't allow you to risk your entire ship and crew on my behalf."
"With all due respect, Captain," countered the younger Janeway, "that isn't your decision to make."
"Besides," put in Paris, "what other options do we have?"
"Let me take a shuttle," said the older Captain. "I'll take my chances with the aliens. I'm the one who needs to get home; there's no need for you to put your entire ship and crew at risk."
"You wouldn't stand a chance against one of those ships, let alone five," the younger Janeway retorted. "It would be a suicide mission." She watched her older self narrow her eyes.
"Using a shuttle is a good idea, though," Chakotay mused. "Part of one, anyway."
Now it was the younger Kathryn's turn to narrow her eyes as she turned her glance to her first officer. "Commander?"
"If we use Voyager to distract the alien fleet, we have a better chance of being able to get a shuttle within transporter range of the probe."
"I won't allow it," the older Captain said flatly.
Her younger counterpart stood from her chair and leaned over the table, her hands spread wide across it, and looked her older self in the eye. "Frankly, it's not your call. I'll be the one to decide what's allowed on my ship." The older woman seemed slightly taken aback, and the Captain took advantage of her silence to continue, "Do you have a better idea, Captain? One that's not a suicide mission?"
The older Janeway sighed. She didn't have a better idea, unfortunately. "I don't, but I wish to state that I do not approve of this course of action."
The Captain smiled wanly. "I'll make a note of it in my log," she replied, a twinge of irony in her tone. She was rewarded with a scowl from her older self, which only amused her further.
"I volunteer to pilot the shuttle," said Tom.
Chakotay shook his head. "We'll need our best pilot on Voyager, Lieutenant. You're going to have to outmaneuver an entire alien fleet."
"Who's going to pilot the shuttle then?" asked Paris.
There was barely a moment of silence before Chakotay replied, "I am."
"Chakotay..." Kathryn began, her eyes shooting to him, but she cut herself off, feeling her older self watching her reaction carefully. She took a slow breath, knowing that this was one of those moments when she had to put her personal feelings aside and do what was right for the ship. The moment of weakness was gone, although the fear that settled in her stomach was not, and she moved quickly back into command mode. "Very well. Commander Chakotay will pilot the shuttle. Tuvok, we'll need to have photon torpedoes and phasers ready. Lieutenant Torres, be prepared to reroute power to the shields, weapons, and any other systems that may need a little extra boost."
"I'll start working on it right away," Torres replied.
"Lieutenant Paris, plot a course back to the singularity and be ready for some fancy maneuvering."
"Yes, Captain," Tom answered with a grin. He was always ready for fancy maneuvering.
"Commander Chakotay, prepare your shuttle. You'll depart in one hour."
"Yes, Captain," he replied, his tone sounding completely professional, but his eyes betrayed some more personal feeling.
"Dismissed." Everyone stood to leave the briefing room; everyone except the older Captain Janeway.
"Captain, may I have a word with you?" she asked.
Kathryn could feel a conflict coming on, but she stood and faced the older woman, her hands on her hips. "What is it?"
"Why are you risking your entire ship and crew to save me?"
The Captain cocked her head to one side, studying her older counterpart with genuine curiosity. "Wouldn't you do the same thing if Tuvok were trapped on a hostile planet? You wouldn't abandon him there. You'd risk the ship and the crew to save his life, or the life of anyone on your crew."
Janeway seemed to consider that for a moment. "I suppose I would, if there were no other option."
The Captain narrowed her eyes again, crossing her arms over her chest. "And is there?"
"I could stay here with you."
The Captain snorted derisively. "Sacrifice yourself so that we don't all have to take the risk? I know you're trying to be noble, but it's not going to work. I know you too well. Besides, think of your ship, of your own crew. They need you."
"They'd get along fine without me. Chakotay is perfectly capable of taking command."
"And do you think that he would rest, knowing that you were here, just out of reach, just on the other side of a wormhole? Do you really think he'd abandon you here?"
"I could order him to."
The younger Janeway chuckled. "Do you really think he'd do it? Look, Captain, I know that you don't have the same relationship with your Chakotay as I do with mine, but I think I know him well enough to know that he wouldn't just abandon you... in any timeline."
The older Kathryn sighed, realizing that she wasn't going to win this argument. "I suppose not. I just wish there were some way for me to get back without you and your crew taking all the risk."
She saw her younger self's features soften at this admission, and, once again, she wondered if she had ever been as open and as vulnerable as this woman seemed to be. Sometimes, she wore her heart on her sleeve, and that was something that Kathryn was sure, over the years, she had learned never to do. "One of the reasons we joined Starfleet was to uphold justice, wasn't it?" The older Janeway nodded. "Part of that is protecting the innocent... and in this case, the innocent victim is you." She saw her older self open her mouth to protest, but she continued before the older woman could speak. "You didn't ask to be brought here, to be separated from your ship, your crew, from your life. But here you are, and it's my responsibility to get you back. I know you don't like to receive anyone's help, Captain, but this time you're going to get it, because I'm just as stubborn as you are."
The older Captain shook her head. On the tip of her tongue was an acerbic comment about her counterpart's feelings about Chakotay being the one to pilot the shuttle, but something stopped her from saying it. She wasn't aware of what had stopped her, but if she could have verbalized the thought, it would have been, Perhaps they can have what we never could. Instead, she admitted, "Well, I guess this is one battle I'm not going to win."
She saw her counterpart's face light up in a genuine smile. "I'm glad you realize that. Now, let's get you to your shuttle."
...
As Janeway climbed into the shuttle Sacajawea next to Chakotay, she wished briefly that she had gotten stuck in a time after Tom and B'Elanna had built the Delta Flyer. It was so much more steady and maneuverable than the standard Starfleet shuttle, but this crew had not yet enhanced their technology with Borg components. Perhaps they never would, although Janeway found that unlikely. Borg space was vast, and it seemed probable that Voyager would encounter them on any course homeward through the Delta Quadrant. Should she warn them about Species 8472? Her alliance with the Borg had prompted a bitter fight between her and her first officer; should she warn him not to disobey the Captain's orders? She shook her head; these sorts of questions were exactly what prompted her dislike for time travel.
"Ready, Captain?" Chakotay asked her as she settled into the seat beside him.
"Ready as I'll ever be, I suppose," she replied. She pondered the irony of this moment, sitting beside him in the Sacajawea, the very same shuttle they had crash landed on the alien planet that resulted in her near-death experience almost exactly three years before. At least this Voyager's differing course ensured that her double would never have to undergo that particular trial.
"Chakotay to bridge. We're ready for launch."
"Good luck, Commander," the Captain's voice came back to them over the comm. Janeway saw Chakotay's eyes flash at the sound of her voice, and in that brief moment, she thought she got a glimpse of what his Kathryn meant to him. She felt a stab of discomfort in the pit of her stomach, and it took her a moment to recognize the feeling as jealousy. Inwardly, she scoffed at herself. This was absurd, being jealous of herself. Besides, she and Chakotay had made a choice about their relationship, and she was certain it was the right one. Yet, she had to admit that there were moments when she wished she wasn't so certain. Her thoughts came back to the present as the shuttle doors opened before them.
"What's the status of the alien fleet?" Chakotay asked.
Checking the sensors, she replied, "So far, there are two ships located within close proximity of the wormhole. Three more on long range sensors."
Chakotay nodded. "Voyager should arrive at the singularity in a few minutes. We'll be close behind them."
"I'll work on setting up the transporter," said Janeway. An awkward silence fell over the shuttle as Kathryn adjusted the transporter to piggyback onto the comm signal that they would establish with the probe. She didn't know what to say to this Chakotay - her counterpart's lover - this man who would know so many of the intimate details of her past while she felt that she knew nothing about him.
Chakotay was finally the one to break the silence as he said easily, "I'm sure you'll be relieved to get back to your own ship."
A low, throaty chuckle escaped her lips. "That might be an understatement, Commander."
He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "You can call me Chakotay, you know. Unless you stick to protocol a lot more strictly in your timeline?" He gave her a questioning glance, trying to feel out where he stood with her. He could sense her awkwardness and he wanted to put her at ease, but this woman was so different from his own Kathryn... so different, and yet so similar. In some ways, he felt like he knew her, or would know her, if she would let him close enough.
"No," she replied softly, answering his question without looking him in the eye. "I do call him Chakotay."
He swiveled his chair around to face her fully. "I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable."
"I know you're not," she said, meeting his gaze for a moment before turning back to her console. "I think we need to focus on the mission at hand."
"Yes, Captain." He turned back to his task of piloting the shuttle, but knew they still had a couple minutes before their duties would require their full attention. Chakotay couldn't quell his curiosity, and he wasn't going to let this Kathryn Janeway back away from a sensitive subject any more than he would have let his own. "Why does being with me make you uncomfortable?"
She sighed audibly, and did not reply at first. He thought he might have overstepped his bounds, and he was about to apologize when she spoke, "I'm not her. You're not him. And yet I feel as though you must know me, because she and I have most of our lives in common, until..."
"Until New Earth," he supplied.
"Until New Earth." She paused. "I wonder if three years can change somebody that much. Was I really her only three years ago?"
"Is that so hard to believe?"
"She's so vulnerable. It seems... naive... to me."
Chakotay cast her a sidelong glance, favoring her with one of those grins that made his eyes sparkle. Her breath caught in her throat; it felt like a long time since he had looked at her that way. "You're vulnerable too. You just won't admit it."
Kathryn didn't know how to respond to this comment, but she was saved from the necessity by the beeping on her console. "We're approaching the singularity," she said, glad to put their conversation to rest.
"Chakotay to Voyager. We're approaching your position."
"We've engaged the alien fleet, Commander," the Captain's voice replied over the comm. "We'll keep them distracted for as long as we can. Janeway out."
"Dropping out of warp," Chakotay reported. They emerged into the center of a battle. Two Qrtpch warships were firing on Voyager, but Chakotay knew he needed to concentrate on his mission now, not on the pitched battle before them.
"I've established a link with the probe," Janeway replied. She checked her readouts. "A third alien ship is approaching."
"I think I can outmaneuver them," Chakotay replied, as he felt sweat begin to trickle down the back of his neck. His fingers flew over the controls as the shuttle ducked in and out of the alien vessels. Fortunately, the Qrtpch fleet didn't seem to have taken much notice of the small shuttle yet. They were fully distracted by Voyager.
"Janeway to Voyager," she spoke into the comm link, trying to establish contact with her ship. "This is Captain Janeway hailing the ship on the other side of the wormhole. Do you read me?"
She adjusted the comm frequency and compensated again for the temporal variance, and after a burst of static, she heard Tuvok's voice, "Captain, I am relieved to know you are alive."
"I'm in a shuttle," she said hurriedly. "I'm going to transport to your ship using the probe as a transporter relay. You'll have to reconfigure the matter transmission rate..." At that moment, a blast rocked the shuttle.
"It's that third ship!" Chakotay exclaimed. "They're on our tail."
"Evasive maneuvers!" ordered the Captain, even though Chakotay was already doing his best to evade the alien ship.
"Captain... hear you... transporter... transmit..." Janeway fought to reestablish a secure link with the other Voyager as a second blast rocked the shuttle. A panel behind them exploded and the static on the comm went dead.
"We've lost communications!" shouted Chakotay over the din of the battle. "Shields are down to seventy three percent."
"I'm rerouting power to the shields and the transporter relays," Janeway said. "Get ready to beam me out."
"But, Captain, we don't even know if your ship got the message. If they're not ready for you, your pattern could degrade in the buffer, or the probe could be destroyed in the battle."
"We've got one shot at this, Chakotay," she replied. "I'm not going to lose it."
"But, Captain..."
She cut off his protestations. "Bring us in closer to the probe, Commander. That's an order."
His jaw clenching in anger, he did as he was told. Janeway was standing on the transporter pad, mouth open to say, "Energize," when the shuttle was hit again. The blast was a strong one, and Chakotay's console erupted in flames, throwing him backwards onto the floor of the shuttle, unconscious.
...
Tom's fingers flew over his console as he deftly maneuvered Voyager around the enemy ships. "Evasive pattern beta six," the Captain ordered. "Tuvok, arm photon torpedoes."
"Torpedoes armed."
"Target their lead ship's weapons systems and fire at will."
"Direct hit," Tuvok reported. "The lead ship's weapons have been disabled."
A blast rocked the bridge. "Our shields are down to eighty two percent," said Harry.
"What's the status of the shuttle?" the Captain asked, holding the arms of her chair as the ship lurched again.
"They're approaching the anomaly, Captain. They're almost within transporter range of the probe," Kim replied.
"We just need to give them a little more time. Mr. Paris, evasive pattern delta four."
"Aye, Captain."
"Captain, another alien ship just appeared!" Kim exclaimed.
Janeway cursed under her breath. These aliens must have some sort of cloaking technology, the way their ships seemed to appear out of nowhere. "Tuvok, arm phasers and fire at will. Target their weapons systems, shields, whatever we can get to."
"Firing phasers," Tuvok reported as Voyager jolted with another blast. "Shields are down to sixty seven percent," said Tuvok.
"We've lost environmental controls on most of the ship, Captain," said Harry. "I need to reroute power to life support, or we're going to lose that too."
"Do it."
"Captain, the third ship is firing on the shuttle," Tom interjected anxiously.
"Change course to intercept," the Captain ordered.
"The second alien vessel's shields are down to thirty percent," Tuvok reported.
"Open a channel." Kim indicated to her that the channel was open. "Alien vessel, please stand down. If you continue to attack us, we will destroy you."
"No response, Captain," Kim reported.
"Captain, the shuttle has taken heavy damage," Tuvok reported.
Janeway felt a knot settle in the pit of her stomach. Chakotay. But she brushed the thought away; she had to remain calm and in control. She had to trust him to take care of himself, and if he couldn't... She couldn't think about that now. "Tuvok, arm photon torpedoes and target the weapons system on the third ship. Fire."
"Direct hit, Captain. Their weapons are disabled."
Voyager rocked after being hit with another blast from the second alien vessel, the only one with its weapons still in tact. "Our shields are down to twenty eight percent!" warned Harry. "If we take another blast from that ship, it's going to cause heavy damage."
"Mr. Tuvok, arm photon torpedoes and fire at will. Harry, hail Chakotay's shuttle."
"Photon torpedoes are offline," Tuvok replied.
"Fire phasers, then. Anything we've got," the Captain said, exasperated. She wiped her hand across her forehead, feeling the sweat accumulating there.
"Firing phasers."
"I'm having trouble raising the shuttle," said Harry. "Their communications system seems to be damaged."
"Can we get a transporter lock?" she asked.
"Yes, Captain, but there are still two life signs aboard," replied Kim.
Then the other Janeway hadn't transported off the shuttle yet. Hadn't, or hadn't been able to? Suddenly, there was a crack of static through the comm channel. Janeway snapped her gaze up at Kim, and heard her own all too familiar voice through the comm system. "Captain, can ... hear me?"
"Yes, Captain, we're reading you," she replied. "You're breaking up."
"Comm system ... damaged. Commander ... injured. Beam ... directly to ... I will activate ... myself."
"Captain, we're not going to abandon you," she replied, feeling insane arguing with herself in front of her bridge crew in the middle of a battle.
"Beam Chakotay ... now!" There was no mistaking the determined tone in her double's voice. "Just ... it!"
Janeway glanced over at Harry. "Can you get a lock on him?"
"I think so, Captain," replied Kim.
"Get ready to beam him directly to sickbay. Inform the Doctor to expect casualties. Tom, move us behind that third alien ship. Tuvok, on my mark, drop our shields just long enough for Harry to beam Chakotay off that shuttle." She took a breath as Voyager positioned herself securely behind the alien ship, using it to shield them from the other Qrtpch vessels. "Mark!" Janeway ordered.
"Got him!" Harry exclaimed.
"Tuvok, raise shields!" ordered the Captain. Another blast rocked the bridge and this time, Janeway was thrown from her chair as a console exploded behind her.
"Shields are at ten percent," reported Tuvok.
The Captain felt the ship jolt underneath her. "What was that?"
"The alien vessel is attempting to lock a tractor beam on us," said Tuvok.
"Target their emitters and fire!" ordered Janeway. Damned if she was going to let her ship be captured today.
"The tractor beam has disengaged," reported Tuvok. "However, the blast created a feedback loop which has damaged our phasers. Our weapons are inoperative."
"Captain, a fourth alien vessel just appeared off our port stern," said Kim anxiously.
"Damn," Janeway whispered under her breath. "Mr. Paris, do we still have warp drive?"
"Affirmative, Captain."
"Harry, get a lock on Captain Janeway and prepare to beam her out of there. Then we go to warp on my mark."
"Captain..." Harry's voice was hesitant. "There aren't any life signs on the shuttle."
"The fourth ship is powering weapons," Tuvok warned.
"Tom, get us out of here!"
"Yes, ma'am."
The Captain felt the gently lurch of her ship as it jumped to warp, and she clenched her jaw, reviewing the events of the past few moments in her mind. Had there been any other choice? Could she have waited an extra few moments to make sure that her older self had indeed returned to her ship, and wasn't lying dead on the floor of the Sacajawea? Not with the alien weapons trained on her, and them trying to lock a tractor beam on her ship. She sighed. I hope that you got home, Captain Janeway, she thought. She knew she'd have a lot of thinking to do later, but right now, she had more pressing business to attend to. "Damage report," she ordered.
...
Chakotay paced back and forth from ops, to the conn, to the engineering station, and back to ops again. He had been doing so from the moment that their transmission with the Captain had abruptly ended. "Harry, get her back!" he had ordered, but the ensign had been unable to reestablish the link. Chakotay clenched his fist. What had she been trying to tell them? He had ordered Seven and B'Elanna to monitor the probe constantly, but it had been several minutes since the transmission had ended. The uneasiness in his stomach carried the weight of lead, and no matter how many times he tried to tell himself that Kathryn was fine, he could not make himself believe it. She wouldn't have cut off the transmission abruptly like that if she had any choice in the matter.
B'Elanna sat at the engineering station on the bridge, monitoring the probe and praying for some change in her readouts that would stop Chakotay from his nervous pacing. So far there had been nothing. Wait... suddenly a reading appeared that hadn't been there before. "Chakotay!" she said. He was standing behind her in a second; she didn't know how he could have crossed the bridge that fast. "I think there's a transport pattern being transmitted through the probe."
"Transfer it to our transporter buffer," he ordered.
"I'm already on it," she said quietly, almost under her breath, the way she always spoke when she was concentrating hard on something. She worked the console with expert skill, adjusting the phase amplitude of the transmission, compensating for the temporal variance. Just a few more seconds...
Suddenly, on the view screen in front of them, the large, white anomaly began to implode. The bridge crew watched in horror as the vast spread of light shrank to a pinpoint, and then they could see the shockwave that emanated outward from the explosion. "Tom, get us out of here!" Chakotay said urgently.
Tom's fingers were already flying over the conn as the ship turned around and flew away from the shockwave. They weren't fast enough to escape it completely, however, and it caught Voyager's tail, sending the ship spinning, and hurling everyone on the bridge to the floor.
When the tumult passed, the bridge seemed very still and very quiet. Chakotay was the first one to drag himself to his feet. Something warm was running down his face, and when he reached up to touch his forehead, his hand came away stained with blood. He ignored it; there was no time for that now. He offered a hand to B'Elanna, who had been thrown off her chair and halfway across the bridge. She took it, gladly, brushing herself off. "Ok?" he asked. She nodded and went back to her station. No one on the bridge seemed to be badly injured; a few scrapes and bruises here and there, but nothing that couldn't wait. Chakotay turned his attention back to B'Elanna, wearing in his expression the question that he was afraid to ask aloud.
Torres studied her station carefully, pressing a few buttons, and looked at him with a relieved expression. "I got the pattern into our transporter buffer."
Chakotay closed his eyes, allowing himself a small moment of relief. "B'Elanna, Seven, you're with me," he said. "Commander Tuvok, you have the bridge." The Vulcan, while looking a bit disheveled himself, nodded with his customary Vulcan precision as Chakotay, Torres and Seven of Nine headed for the turbolift.
"Deck four," Chakotay ordered. Then he took a moment to examine the two women before him. "Are you both all right?"
"I'm fine," B'Elanna replied. "A little shaken up, but fine."
"I appear to be undamaged," said Seven.
Chakotay nodded curtly, glad they were both unharmed, as they stepped off the turbolift and walked the short distance to the transporter room. He tried to stay out of the way as the women worked furiously at the transporter console. "I'm going to reconfigure the matter transmission rate," B'Elanna said.
"Her pattern is degrading. We have to complete the transport now," said Seven, a hint of urgency in her tone.
B'Elanna pressed one last key on the console and looked up at the transporter pad in front of her. "Energize."
Chakotay held his breath as the shimmer of the transporter beam appeared in front of him. His mind recognized B'Elanna and Seven talking about the matter stream and the annular confinement beam, but their voices seemed distant, far away. After an agonizing moment in which his stomach tightened, and he feared that Torres wasn't going to be able to work one of her miracles this time, Kathryn Janeway materialized on the transporter pad in front of him. She looked around, confused for a moment, but then her eyes found his and she smiled. "Welcome home, Captain," he said, returning her smile with one of his own. His smile faded quickly as he watched the color drain from her face. She tried to step off the transporter pad, but her knees buckled underneath her. In less than two steps, he was in front of her, supporting her weight as she dug her hands into his arms. "Let's get you to sickbay," he said.
She closed her eyes for a moment and paused to steady herself, and he felt her grip on his arms lighten. "I'm fine," she said. "Just a little dizzy."
"Still, I think the Doctor better check you out," Chakotay said firmly, maneuvering to one side of her and sliding an arm around her waist to support her.
"Only if you come with me," she countered. "That looks like a nasty cut, Commander." She allowed her arm to drape over his shoulder as he helped her down from the transporter pad. That was when she noticed B'Elanna and Seven standing there. "Thank you," she said to them, knowing they must have had a significant part in her rescue.
"It's good to have you back, Captain," Torres replied with a small smile.
"I agree," said Seven. "You were... missed."
At this statement from the least emotional member of her crew save Tuvok, Janeway felt her throat constrict, and she blinked back tears from her eyes. "It's good to be home," she said softly. "Now," she continued, turning to Chakotay, "as long as it's my sickbay in my timeline, I guess I'll go see the Doctor." He chuckled and they walked out of the transporter room, his arm still firmly around her waist, and hers still slung over his shoulder.
...
Captain's Personal Log. Stardate 53911.4. After treating me for some minor temporal narcosis, the Doctor has pronounced me fit for duty. We've repaired some minor damage caused by the anomaly's implosion and have resumed course for the Alpha Quadrant. Unfortunately, the implosion eliminated any chance we had of communicating with the other Voyager and letting them know that our plan was successful. I can only hope that their Chakotay survived the attack. I saw him beamed from the shuttle, but I had no communication with him or the other Captain Janeway after that. I frequently think about them and wonder how they are faring on their journey. I can only hope that their path will be an easier one than mine has been. Seeing myself at that younger age made me realize both how much I have lost and how much I have gained over the past three years. Would I trade places with her if I could? I don't know. In some ways I envy her; in other ways, I fear for her. But one thing I do know is that I'm very grateful for where I am and what I have.
The coffee tasted warm and sweet, and the porcelain of her favorite cup was smooth against her lips. Kathryn Janeway allowed herself a contented smile as she sat back against the sofa in her ready room, PADD in hand. She had several days worth of reports to catch up on, and she certainly wasn't going to lose any time. Most of the reports detailed her crew's attempts to locate her, but there were also routine systems reports and crew evaluations that required her stamp of approval. The door chimed. "Yes. Come in," she murmured, not looking up from her reports.
Her first officer approached her seat on the couch, handing her yet another PADD. "This week's duty roster, Captain."
"Thank you," she said, pausing to look up at him, to study the familiar lines of his face, the familiar artwork of his tattoo, the familiar brown of his eyes. Was he as different from his double as she was from hers? She thought not. "Coffee?" she offered.
"If my taking it with cream and two sugars doesn't offend you too much," he replied with a grin.
She pretended to sigh in frustration as she poured his coffee and added the condiments. "I suppose I can handle it." She patted the sofa beside her and he joined her, taking a sip of his coffee.
"How are the reports coming?" he asked.
"Oh, you know how it is when you have to catch up after missing a few days," she replied nonchalantly.
He watched her eyes and her mind wander away from their conversation and her reports, and he could hazard a guess as to what subject occupied them. "It must have been strange, seeing a whole other Voyager, a whole other crew."
"A whole other me," Kathryn added, her gaze still far off in the distance, not settling on anything in particular.
"You said that you were in a different timeline," he ventured carefully, "but you never said exactly what was different about it."
There was a cunning glint in her eyes when she turned to face him and replied, "Just little things. They were on a different course. They'd encountered some species that we never did, and vice versa."
He could tell that she wasn't telling him the whole story, but he let it go for the moment. "Did you warn them about the Borg? Species 8472?"
She shook her head. "I wanted to, believe me, Chakotay, but I couldn't." She took a breath, and they recited in unison, "Temporal Prime Directive."
"I know," he continued, "but it doesn't seem fair."
"It doesn't," she agreed, "but who knows what the price would be of interfering? I could cause something worse than whatever is already going to happen to them."
Chakotay's eyes darkened. "It's hard to imagine something worse than Species 8472."
"Or the Borg," she conceded. "But we just don't know, and that's the point. Besides, even if I had offered them some sort of advice, there's no guarantee they would have taken it. Captain Janeway can be very stubborn, you know." The mysterious glint in her eye had returned.
Chakotay chuckled. "Yes, I know." He studied her carefully. "What did you try to offer her advice about?"
Kathryn looked away. She wasn't prepared to tell him about the relationship she had witnessed between the other Captain and her first officer. It brought up too many doubts, too many questions, too many unknowns. They shared a comfortable friendship; a friendship which they had agreed to maintain. What good would it do to bring up a discussion that was, for all intents and purposes, a moot point, at least as long as they were stranded in the Delta Quadrant? They had agreed on this years ago, and launching into the discussion again didn't seem like a good idea to her. She wasn't the same woman as that Kathryn she had seen, and she wasn't sitting here looking at the man her counterpart had fallen in love with. She was sitting in her ready room, gazing over her coffee at the familiar face of one of her closest friends, and no matter what she had seen, she could not afford to jeopardize their friendship. She could not afford the distraction; not when her first priority had always been so clear to her: to get her crew home. Chakotay recognized the determined expression as she set her jaw defiantly, not in defiance towards him, but towards some unknown entity, towards anyone who would dare stand in her way. He could almost read her thoughts. I will get them home. Nothing is going to stop me. So instead of answering his question, she looked at him, determined defiance in her eyes, a smirk on her lips, and replied, "Captain's privilege, Commander." And he was brought back to a day many years ago when she had used the same tactic to evade another question he had posed. "There are some questions I don't have to answer."