Assuage Through Altruism 4/4
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.
ANotes: Well, this story turned into a hot mess. I struggled so much with this last part. When I first started writing this story I had no clue how I would conclude it. I honestly debated to just leave it unfinished, but I knew I didn't have the heart to. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy, sorry if it's not up to par with previous chapters, this one's a lot more dialogue driven. Like I already said, this was a struggle for me to get through. Good or bad, let me know what you guys think. Thank you for the support and reviews throughout this story, I appreciate it immensely. *hugs*
Immediately after Penny closed the door on Sheldon, she marched to her room, grabbed the first duffle bag she came across and started packing to move back to Nebraska. She literally packed, grabbing at random clothes and items around her bedroom for an agonizing five minutes before collapsing in a messy heap of curses and tears. That is when, her untouched celebration shot glasses her sister had gifted her before she left Nebraska all those years ago, came to mind. It was meant to be used with friends after her success as a real actress was solidified, but that day never came. It probably never will, she had told herself.
Now an hour later, Penny found herself on the floor, sprawled limply in the narrow space between her sofa and coffee table. She had never felt more pathetic in her life. On the table was a line of five empty shot glasses she took the liberty to retrieve from the back of her closet because special shot glasses were appropriate for special occasions of self-loathing. She had started off her first few shots with a little drinking game. For every tear that rolled down her cheek, she took a shot. She vaguely remembered her first line of tequila let alone the second one she had just finished. Isn't this just typical of me? Penny, the pitiful drunk.
She was sad and miserable, but she was also angry as hell. She had promised herself after Kurt that she would not let her heart be stomped on again. Not even with Leonard had she opened herself up so completely than she had with Kurt. He was her first real relationship and though she may have thought at the time she loved him, she realized she had actually loved the idea of being in love.
Now the idea of love had manifested itself into a reality, into a single person, a beautiful minded genius, who was the unlikeliest of recipient but Penny knew, the most deserving. And the fact that he did not return something she fought for so long not to feel for another person, it damn near killed her. It saddened her to think of the upcoming days, weeks, months, probably even years, having to see Sheldon with someone else, but it also infuriated her that she allowed herself to fall so hard. She was so angry she was not sure whether her tears were because she could not have him or because she wanted him in the first place.
I shouldn't be doing this to myself.
Penny knew there was an end in sight. She knew heartache and loneliness were passing phases in life. She had her fair share, but she could not deny that it was different this time. It was Sheldon. There was no one else on the planet like him, something the guys would tell her was proof there was a God. She remembered the time after Kurt, on her first day, during her first steps into her new life, her new apartment, the first meeting that would change her life completely. The day she met them. The day she met him. And whatever apprehensions and troubles she had, they gave her the strength to move on. Over the years, she carved her way into every aspect of their lives, and the only one against it from the beginning was the very one she fell for. What were the chances? He would probably calculate them if I asked.
She rolled over to her side, and let out a long sigh. She blinked, her eyes painfully dry and reddening. An alert tone from her cell phone on the coffee table once again startled her. It was the seventh text message alert in the past half hour. Like the previous ones, Penny ignored it, she was exhausted, both physically and emotionally drained. She wondered how her life came to this point. A week ago she was content. Sure she had a minor problem with remorse over her past actions, but she had not succumbed to a tragic bundle of emotional turmoil. I should ask Leonard if I could borrow his Alanis Morissette CDs. She smiled weakly at the thought as her eyes began to drift shut, ready for the dark to claim her.
It was half past midnight when a chorus of desperate knocks on the door woke her. She woke in a daze, her breathing held as Sheldon's face instantly made its way back into her head. She felt her lip trembling again as a new onset of tears threatened, but another voice pierced the silence instead.
"Penny," the familiar voice beckoned urgently, "Penny, are you there?"
It was only a matter of time.
Penny cursed under her breath as she moved slowly, her mind still in a daze. She used the coffee table as leverage to pull herself into an upright position. Still seated on the floor, she reached toward the doorknob, her finger tips brushing against it a few times before they were finally able to turn it and pull the door open. She let her hand fall to her side as she braced herself up with the other arm.
Amy poked her head around the door, her eyes hesitantly scanning the living room before falling onto Penny's shrunken form behind the door. She squeezed herself into the apartment and closed the door behind her. She knelt next to Penny and helped adjust her so that her back was now resting against the front door.
"Are you hurt?" Amy asked, her face a mask of concern as she too leaned against the door, their shoulders lightly touching.
Penny turned her head to look at her friend and nodded, "yes," she said hoarsely, her throat scratchy, "but nothing you can fix."
Amy did not reply. She quickly surveyed the room, taking note of the shot glasses and near empty tequila bottle lying forgotten on the floor near the kitchen island. She turned back to Penny, her eyes now sad.
"I received your text message," she said softly, "I didn't know what to do. From the sound of it, I fear we are no longer friends." She held up her phone to Penny who read the words she had sent not too long ago.
~Its all ur fault Amy! If u just kept ur mouth shut! I hope u r happyyy~
"My presence here now, clearly suggests I wish otherwise," Amy continued, unsure of herself as she struggled to look at the woman next to her, "is it something I did? Something I said?" You just made him want you instead.
Penny's heart ached as she shook her head, "no," she said weakly, "we're still friends."
Amy nodded slowly, her eyes downcast. Don't be sad because of me.
"I've been pondering the implications of your message," Amy started slowly, "I tried several times to message you back," she glanced at Penny's lonely cell, her texts alerts untouched and unread, "but now I see you're unaware of my concern on the matter."
Penny pushed herself off the door and slouched forward, "I'm aware, Amy," her eyes found the other girl's, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have sent that. It was the alcohol talking." She tried to force a reassuring smile, but it came out weak and lopsided, "I'm sorry you came all this way."
"I don't regret my decision," Amy replied shaking her head, her eyes falling on the shot glasses again, "it is clear you need a friend right now."
Penny stared into her friend's open and honest eyes and she felt something inside her break. She nodded quickly as her emotions overcame her again. She leaned into Amy's waiting arms, biting back the tears once again threatening to fall. Why does she make this even harder?
"I've been a horrible friend," Penny mumbled into Amy's shoulder after a few minutes.
"I forgive you, Penny," Amy assured her, "you know I can't stay angry with you." You forgive me? You're the one that took him! Against her will, Penny's anger rushed back, her fingers curling into claws on Amy's back.
She pulled away, rising clumsily to her feet as she backed toward the couch, her finger pointing accusingly at Amy, "you…you did this…"
"What? What did I do? Tell me," Amy said getting to her feet as well, her expression a mixture of horror and shock. What haven't you done? Penny blinked back her tears as a jealous fury pushed its way to the surface. If you weren't so cute, so smart, so beautiful, so annoyingly wonderful, so perfect for him, then…
Regretfully and due to her alcohol infused judgment, Penny, her breathing quick, her mind racing with hurtful words and deeds, let loose on her unsuspecting victim, "it's because of you I started this stupid experiment. It's all your fault. You, Amy…you said it would help and now everything's screwed up…you've ruined everything for me."
"You've been conducting an experiment?" Amy questioned cautiously, her curiosity getting the better of her.
"Yes," she answered quickly, taken aback by Amy's words. Of course the scientist would only care about the experiment. Penny gestured at her notebook lying in a forgotten heap next to her coffee table as she fell back onto her couch.
Amy glanced at the notebook before looking back at Penny. She approached the other woman slowly, moving to sit next to her on the couch. As she spoke, she desperately tried to calm her with a gentle tone and a change in the direction of conversation, "what were the parameters of your experiment?"
Penny shrugged, her eyes closed, her breathing slowing, "I was going to be nice to Shel—someone…for a week. You said it would help because I'm a bully."
Amy shook her head, "that's the past, Penny. You aren't one anymore."
The sincerity in the other girl's eyes made Penny's resolve melt. She hated herself then, for ever being cruel to a friend who did nothing but care about her. A friend that literally offered her a shoulder to cry on while Penny threw words dipped in venom at her. Penny hated that she diverted blame from herself and on to Amy. It was not Amy's fault Sheldon picked her. It was not Amy's fault she was born ridiculously intelligent while Penny with a brain that barely got her through high school math. It was not Amy's fault Sheldon regarded intelligence over physical appeal.
Penny let out a sigh and leaned into Amy's shoulder, her head resting just on top.
"It doesn't matter now," Penny uttered softly, her eyes closing again, "it doesn't matter."
A moment later, Amy tilted her head, resting it lightly on Penny's, "is there something I can do to help with your experiment?"
Just take care of him, Amy. It's all I ask. Just love him the way he deserves to be.
"No. I'm just…I'm sorry, Amy. I'm sorry about tonight. Forgive me?"
"Of course," Amy answered weakly, her opposite hand moving to smooth back Penny's hair.
"Sheldon…" she whispered, relaxing into Amy as a tear finally escaped her eye. She was too tired to wipe it away, "he was right…he was…Leonard's not…he's not the guy. Sheldon was right…"
Before sleep overcame her again, she swore she heard Amy softly reply, "I know, bestie. I know."
The morning came quickly, and Penny was grateful she had not overdone it with the alcohol the night before, she woke up with only a slight hangover. She stirred in her bed, not caring how she ended up there, just thankful she had. Sleeping on the couch would have been sore in the morning. Sometime during the night Amy must have half carried, half drag her to the bedroom. Penny pushed off her bed slowly, making her way in a blurry daze to the bathroom, not taking the time to check if Amy was still there. She peeled off her clothes and jumped in the shower.
She closed her eyes, instantly relaxing, basking in the feel of the water against her skin. Even though her behavior late last night and into the early morning hours were not going to be chapters in Penny's Greatest Hits, she did not regret the experience. She needed a good cry, a few shots of tequila and subsequently a heart to heart with her best friend. She was grateful Amy came over last night, even if she wished it was under more not so guilt-wielding circumstances. However, today was a new day and Penny vowed to make the best of it. She was young, she was attractive, and she would get pass her feelings for a simple boy. She just needed to take things in stride. The feelings would not go away over night but she was determined to not allow them to rule her.
Hopping out of the shower, she was careful to remain on her bath rug as she reached for her towel nearby, drying her hair before wrapping it around herself as she exited the bathroom. She made her way to her dresser, pulling out her latest buy from Victoria Secret, a matching set of pink zebra print. After pulling the garments on, she quickly examined herself in the mirror hanging on her closet door. First step to recovery, make myself feel sexy. She nodded her approval, even throwing in a smile as she proceeded to look around her bedroom for her robe. She pursed her lips, trying to remember where she had left it. On the sofa chair. She combed her fingers threw her hair to make it somewhat orderly as she made her way casually toward the living room.
"Penny!"
She stopped short, her eyes as wide as his, "Sheldon!"
He whirled around instantly, almost toppling over her coffee table, his hands covering his face, "I—I apologize, I should have made my presence known when you woke."
"Ya think?" Penny scowled at him her eyes darting around the room. She adjusted her head to the right to look past him, her eyes falling on her bathrobe lying innocently on her sofa chair, "what the hell are you doing here?"
"Amy and I found it apparent you not be alone in your current condition," he explained quickly.
Penny moved a few steps forward, "fine, just pass me my robe," she ordered, wondering only briefly why she had not made any attempt to cover herself up with her hands when she had first saw him. She would consider it more later.
Sheldon peeked an eye through his fingers at the bathrobe in front of him. He reached gingerly for it with one hand, the other remaining over his eyes. He grabbed hold of it, swinging his arm as far back as he could without turning his body to hand it to her. Penny took it with a half-hearted grumble and secured herself in to it before crossing her arms in front of her and shifting her weight to one leg.
"Okay, explain again, what the hell are you doing here, where's Amy?"
"Are you clothed?" He asked carefully.
"Yes, you can turn around."
She watched his shoulders relax as he did so. He faced her and she could not help the thoughts running through her head. He looked so cute with his cheeks slightly flushed, his lower lip red and pouty. She shook the thoughts away, she would maintain her resolve.
"Explain, Sheldon. Now," she spat, "where's Amy?"
"She was needed elsewhere," he said, swallowing hard, "I am here to relieve her."
She took a few seconds to let his words sink in before she nodded and walked toward her kitchen. She refused to deal with him before her daily dose of coffee. She was about to turn on her coffee maker when she noticed the dishes previously in her sink were now drying in the dish rack. She turned to say something to Sheldon, who remained standing uncomfortably, and that is when she noticed her living room was clear of any traces of the drunken stupor from the night before. Noticing her inquiry, he spoke first.
"I took the liberty of cleaning up after you," he started to explain somewhat uncertainly, and she attributed it to the fact that he knew the threat of physical violence to his person was indeed real, "I refused to sit in such a mess."
She mildly glared at him before letting her façade fall. It was useless, she had not the heart to remain indifferent toward him, "thank you," she said softly, turning back around to continue her preparation.
"If I may," he interjected, stepping forward.
"What," she replied, looking back at him.
"I have already prepared an appropriate meal for you after a night of alcohol consumption," he gestured to her dining table. Placed perfectly in the center on the left side was a plate of scrambled eggs and a neatly sliced banana. Next to it was a tall glass of water and a smaller one of orange juice. She wondered how she had not noticed it before.
"You made me breakfast?" She asked in amazement, stepping out of her kitchen and toward the table.
"Given that it is," he glanced at his watch, "half pass eleven, it would more commonly be considered brunch. Or an early lunch if you will."
Penny was speechless. She was so incredibly touched by such a normally audacious gesture, but that was before she reminded herself that this was Sheldon. And with Sheldon she never knew what or why she was getting things when he gave them to her. She gave a curt bout of thanks when she regained her bearings before taking a seat at the table. She reached for the fork lying on a napkin next to the plate, and proceeded to eat.
He took a seat opposite her, much like the countless previous meals they had shared together in her apartment. She ate in silence as she pondered her surprise at how comfortable she was at the moment given the events of last night and the days prior. She found solace in the fact that if all else failed, they were still friends. Best friends. And they would remain so if she had any say in the matter. She may be in love with him now, but she had already loved him for many years. His company in her apartment now was a reassurance of the presence he would continue to maintain in her life. She was grateful for that fact.
After finishing her meal and downing the last of her orange juice she did feel much better. She took a mental note to use the same remedies for future instances of post-tequila mornings. She thanked him again as she cleared her dishes, quickly washing them to ease any anxiety he would have knowing dirty dishes were present in the same room. She dried her hands and returned to the dining table to grab her unfinished glass of water. She proceeded to her sofa, taking a seat and adjusting into a comfortable position. While she did so, out of the corner of her eye she noticed Sheldon was now standing, looking around her apartment, assessing the appropriate place to sit. She smiled, tilting her head to look at him.
"Sit here, sweetie," she said shifting over a little and patting the space of the sofa next to her. Her mind wondered briefly to the day they first met, how she had mistakenly sat in his spot and offered him the seat next to her instead. She found herself smiling at the memory. Like that day, Sheldon obliged, occupying the spot to her left, his fingers nervously fidgeting in his lap. They sat in silence, Penny sipping casually at her water as she continued to use her peripheral vision to watch him. He remained still, his eyes downcast, his breathing slow and sturdy. He seemed deep in his thoughts and Penny knew she would give just about anything to be able to read them.
When the silence became too much, Penny leaned forward to put her glass on the coffee table in front of them and then turned her body toward him on the sofa, moving her left leg so it was now tucked comfortably between them. She felt much better about the state of their relationship and how the recent events would not lead to damaging results. She did not want him to remain in her apartment as if it were something he felt obligated to do now that he knew of her feelings for him. Though she appreciated the consideration, it did no favors to her pride.
"Sheldon, about last night…" she started.
Sheldon shook his head, his eyes still downcast, "Penny, if you prefer not to address the events of last night, I will not object."
Penny let out a sigh of relief, nodding her head.
"However, I would prefer otherwise," he added gently.
"You would?" she asked, her pitch slightly higher than she anticipated. Her eyebrows rose as she stared at the side of his face. She wished he would meet her eyes, it would be so much easier to read him if he did.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"I believe there was a misunderstanding that caused you to shut your door in my face."
"Right…I'm sorry about that, I was just…"
"You were angry because I read your journal," he finished.
"No, not angry…embarrassed really."
"Well, I see no reason why you should be."
"Of course you don't," she said, smiling weakly as she looked away from him.
Sheldon turned his eyes toward her for the first time since she faced him, "I was under the impression one would be embarrassed had the recipient of said feelings not returned them."
"What…" she said, her gaze quickly returning to him, disbelief advancing uncaringly to her features. Her mind raced with questions, her heart beat quickened, "wait…what are you saying?"
He shifted slightly, turning his body to face her as best he could given his long legs and the confining space of her small sofa. He propped his right arm along the back of the sofa, bending it at the elbow to allow his fingers to intertwine in front of him. He took a deep breath. She held hers.
"Penny, as I have told you before, I am not comfortable with maudlin displays of emotion, especially when it comes to my own. However, taking into account your need to satisfy such inquiries, I will do my best to oblige," his eyes and tone serious, "but first, I believe an explanation is essential."
"Okay," she whispered, mostly to herself. She waited patiently for him to continue.
"As you are aware, I have been keeping a log of my daily social interactions for many years. Four and a half weeks ago, on the eve of one month since the conception of our relationship, Amy and I decided to browse through these logs in hopes of learning ways in which we could improve certain aspects of our relationship. As we did so, she pointed out a pattern in which even I failed to realize. After a long debate and discussion over what my notes suggested, we both thought it mutually beneficial that we terminate our agreement."
Her mind nearly broke. She was surprised she could even get the words out, "you…you guys broke up?" She stuttered, half in denial, half in relief, "a month ago? How is that possib…I don't understand…"
"For the past month, I've been conducting my own experiment," he continued, ignoring her line of questioning, "a social experiment, one in which Amy suggested I partake in. To accurately conclude her findings in my daily log, she proposed she be a part of the experiment. I reluctantly agreed because I desired to be absolutely certain of the results."
"Sheldon, you're losing me here…you say you broke up with Amy?"
"Yes, we covered that."
"A month ago?" She emphasized. She could not wrap her mind around this recent bit of information, it just could not be possible, "but, you…you guys just celebrated your two month anniversary. I…I took you both shopping…you dragged me to your dinner..." She stumbled through her words.
"All aspects of our experiment," he replied, "in order to acquire the desired results, I needed to maintain the guise of a relationship with Amy."
"Sheldon, I…" she slurred, her mind reeling with incoherent thoughts.
"Here," he said softly, reaching toward the notebook she had not noticed was sitting on the coffee table beside them. He handed it to her as he spoke quietly now, "since I read your notes pertaining to your experiment…I thought it only fair, I share with you my own."
She took the notebook from him, opening it slowly, flipping randomly through the pages, "what is this?"
"Up until the termination of it last night, it is the journal in which I used to catalog everything in reference to my experiment. You may draw your own conclusions and if you find it necessary, we may discuss them afterward."
Without another word, Sheldon's fingers moved toward her, turning the pages to one he desired her to read. Penny swallowed as her eyes lingered on his fingers before settling on his meticulous handwriting.
Penny brought over a cheesecake. Her eyes resembled a vibrant emerald in color tonight. Eye contact increased exponentially. Penny agreed to Amy's proposal. Phase one complete.
Penny felt her chest tighten. She knew she was starting down a road in which there was no turning back. He was allowing her a glimpse of himself he had never shared with her before. He was allowing her access to his thoughts, ones always hidden from the world.
Tonight, I took the liberty of complimenting Penny on her physical appearance. As prior observation (e.g. slight tilt of the head and a smile) dictates she was pleased with my assertion.
She looked up at him, "so I wasn't crazy when you said I looked prettier?" she teased, trying to lighten the mood.
"I have never thought it necessary to remind you of your physical appeal, you should already be aware," he replied as nonchalant as possible, though the reddening of his cheeks was a clear indicator otherwise.
"But it's nice to be reminded sometimes."
"Noted."
I have noticed my preference for the color green only became apparent after the introduction of Penny into my social paradigm. Penny was successful in helping to procure a nonessential gift for Amy.
"So you were spending time with me on purpose this week? So what, you could catalog me?"
"The first few weeks, I had noticed nothing out of the ordinary in my interactions with you so Amy advised we up the ante and exhibit more openly the behavior in which a common romantic pair would express. Her reasoning for this course of action was to further note your reactions to them."
Stuart made it a point to ask of Penny's eligibility yet again. I informed him she was unavailable for the foreseeable future. I did not answer when he questioned with whom she was romantically involved.
"Oh, poor Stuart," Penny sighed.
"I disagree. He is quite capable of acquiring a date. I only ask it be elsewhere…" he swallowed, before adding, "…far from you." Be still my heart, Penny beamed.
She met his eyes, holding it for a few seconds as she tried desperately to make sense of everything that was happening, the things he was saying, the words she was reading. They were travelling into uncharted waters together, yet she remained in a state of limbo, not quite accepting her fate, but still lingering in a state of utter denial. Could she really mean more to him than he had always let on? And what about Amy? She had so many questions, but he urged her silently to continue reading. She looked away from him and back down at his notebook.
I do not condone Amy's course of action tonight. Her attack on my person was indeed ill-advised. However, I noticed an expression on Penny I had not previously encountered. Amy may be on to something.
"When she kissed you…that was for my benefit. To see my reaction," she did not pose her words as questions, mostly allowing the realization to sink in.
"Yes."
She nodded, taking a deep breath before continuing her reading.
I was concerned for the state of Penny's well-being when I initially arrived at her apartment. I observed a tired physical condition when I approached her to attain a ride to the restaurant. She was reluctant to agree due to the events of her previous attendance. However, after assuring her she is not, forgive my use of the word, a slut, and a reminder that I would provide her an adequate meal, she agreed to the initial proposal.
Per Penny's suggestion, Amy purchased a limited edition Batman nightlight to present to me. Penny offered a brief explanation as to how they had acquired such an extraordinary gift. I found myself overwhelmed with the sentiment.
"You know, I wondered about that," she said, looking up at him again.
"How so?"
"Why you seemed so…reserved…about the night light. I thought you'd be really happy."
"I was," he replied, "but I found it inappropriate to express my gratitude for your awareness of my interests due to the fact that Amy purchased the gift and not you."
"Oh."
Resemblance to prior instances, I chose to forgo my restrictions on personal space for Penny. She was noticeably startled by my actions when I carried her from her apartment to my own. I cannot accurately conclude if her reaction was a result of my ability to carry her weight or the action itself. Furthermore, I experienced an increase in heart rate and unsavory thoughts.
"Can I ask what these unsavory thoughts were?" Penny inquired, one eye brow shooting up.
"I rather you not," he said, his cheeks flushed again.
She smiled.
Upon completion of my laundry, I noticed a notebook left alone on the dryer next to the entrance of the room. Upon reading through said notebook it became apparent of Penny's...
…feelings (CROSS OUT)
…opinion of (CROSS OUT)
…view of (CROSS OUT)
My conclusions became apparent. After returning the notebook, I was alarmed to see Penny upset. I am not equipped to deal with such an occasion, however, at the time I recognized a compelling desire to acquire such knowledge. I have drawn the conclusion that, it upsets me when Penny is upset. Thus, Penny cannot be upset, should not ever be upset, if I am to maintain a satisfactory manner of stasis. Penny chose to disregard my attempt to rectify the situation, choosing instead to shut the door in my face.
Penny stopped, allowing herself time to consider the entries she had read.
"So you said you ended the experiment last night. Why last night?"
"Because it was apparent that my experiment upset you, and my attempt to apologize was met with a blatant disregard for social protocol. You shut the door—"
"…in your face, I know. And I said I was sorry about that, I just thought you meant something else."
"How can I'm sorry mean anything else other than, I'm sorry?"
"Well, you could've been apologizing for a number of things," Penny countered, "I didn't know you were apologizing because I was upset."
"Then what did you think I was apologizing for?"
She paused, hesitating before she answered, "that you were choosing Amy…and not me." It sounded even sillier out loud. Like something a teenager would say, Penny shook her head at the absurdity.
"Penny," he rebuked, "though it is true that I respect Amy as an intellect and as my friend, you are…when it comes to you I…there is no…" he stopped himself, sighing in an apparent frustration, "has my journal not given you adequate evidence of what I have difficulties saying aloud?"
"Yes…no…" she stuttered, "I don't know, Sheldon."
But she did. She knew exactly what he was trying to say without having to actually tell her. He was acknowledging that he harbored feelings beyond that of friendship. The past week he forced himself out of his comfort zone. He allowed Amy to kiss him, to hold his hand, he pushed himself to show his appreciation of Penny's presence in his life, he carried her in his arms for goodness sake. And he did it all for her, to make sure his feelings were reciprocated. His experience, not to her surprise, was initially for his benefit, to protect his interests, however, he had not taken into account how his experiment would affect her. And when he did find out, he immediately ended it. He chose to accommodate her instead of his science. In the end though, he was still able to gather the information necessary to gain an accurate conclusion. Her feelings he had read about in her journal was definitely mutual.
"So, the pattern that you mentioned earlier. The one Amy saw…what was it exactly?" Penny questioned.
Sheldon looked away for a moment, "while at first, my log comprised of daily interactions with Leonard…Raj…and even Howard," he paused a second, his eyes returning to hers, "over the years, I saw it only necessary to include my daily interactions with you. Every entry began with your name and concluded with a question mark following the words, what does this mean? The result of my experiment was finally able to answer this question, I finally realized…"
"What? What did you realize?" Just say it already.
He did not answer, instead choosing to divert the question, "Penny, I am unsure of how I am to proceed in a situation such as the one we have found ourselves in. It is quite different from the agreement I previously had with Amy."
"Why?"
"Because it is you," he stated simply, "I am never sure of myself around you and though I have had much distaste for that fact over the years, I have come to accept it as merely…"
"Yes?" she urged.
"…my response to you cannot be accurately measured with science."
"Sheldon," she whispered.
"…It both puzzles and terrifies me," he continued.
It terrified her too at first, that she could feel something so strongly and for Sheldon of all people. They had been friends for years, spent countless days at each other's throats, fighting, finding ways to get on each other's nerves, but Penny knew that for all the bad, Sheldon gave back equally if not more when it came to the good. He was always there when she needed him, helping her make Penny Blossoms, driving her to the hospital when she was injured, loaning her money without a moment's hesitation, listening to her when she needed to vent even when he pretended not to care, he was always quick to offer words of advice. He was always truthful with her and though at times she felt she did not want his advice because it would seem cold or unfeeling, she knew it was what she needed to hear. She did not know exactly when or why or how, but she had fallen completely in love with her best friend, and it only took her seven days to realize it. And apparently, he had known before her, for quite some time that there could be something more between them. Penny found she did not mind, he was a genius after all.
"So to answer your question of the realization I came to…" he met her eyes, his features soft, "we share the same intention…that is…to change…the paradigm of our relationship…" his eyes were round, his tone hopeful, "am I correct in my conclusion?"
Without complete awareness of her actions, she found herself nodding.
"But," she started, regretting that her interruption caused the smile on his face to fall.
"Yes?" he asked hesitantly.
"…I have two conditions," she stated, throwing him a peace sign.
He rolled his eyes, "I anticipated you would," he said stiffly, "what are they then?"
"First, before we make it official, you know, tell everybody and everything, I'll need to speak to Amy."
"She is already aware why I am here with you."
"Yes, I know, but I just need confirmation…for myself…before we let everyone else know. I just want Amy to know about it from me."
"All right…" he said, "do as you wish...even though it is hardly necessary."
"Sheldon," she argued, her tone silencing him. She bit her lower lip before continuing, "And second…I'm not signing a contract," she stated firmly, her gaze unwavering as he eyed her with those cool blues of his.
"Penny…"
"I won't, Sheldon. If we're really going to do this…you know…be together…as a couple, then we're going to do this without some silly signed agreement thing."
"Penny…"
"I mean it, Sheldon. If you don't like it, then I'm sorry, but…"
"Penny!" He forced her silence, before finishing calmly, "I accept."
A bright smile spread across her face, her eyes the vibrant emerald he noted previously.
"You're really ready for this?" She uttered, her heart lighter than she had ever experienced before.
"Though I am uncomfortable with your persistence that we proceed without any terms or conditions to adhere to, I am willing…just this once," he asserted, holding up one finger for emphasis, "…to rely on your expertise in this liaison."
"Aren't you the romantic?"
He ignored her, instead, his brow creasing in confusion, "Penny, I have an inquiry I have been meaning to address concerning an occurrence that took place earlier."
She took a few moments to translate his words in her head, "what is it honey?"
"When you first entered the living room. You were dressed merely in your under garments," he started, his eyes unable to meet hers, "I was curious…why you made no attempt to cover yourself up? I was lead to believe being seen in one's underwear, particularly for a female by a member of the opposite sex, would be cause to cover oneself up."
"I did, you handed me my robe…"
"Yes," he said with obvious uncertainty as to why he felt the need to pursue this line questioning, "…but prior to that. You took no action to retreat back into your room or…"
"I didn't think I had to."
"Why?"
She shrugged, "because it's you, sweetie."
"Penny, that is hardly an adequate explanation," he argued.
"Besides…" Penny said, lifting his notebook off her lap and placing it on the table next to them. She turned to him again, a sly smile on her lips as she finished, "…you've already seen me naked."
He opened his mouth to protest, but the sudden feel of Penny's lips pressed against his, did not let him.
Sheldon found he did not mind her actions so much.
Penny was, a Big Ol' Five, after all.
Thank you for sticking with me to the end! I'm just relieved it's over, now I can go catch up on all my own Shenny fanfic reading, I've fallen so behind with my favorite stories. Take care guys. Till next time. :D