A/N: One hundred percent AU. Harry and Ron left Hermione behind to look for Horcruxes and then Hermione's mandatory presence at Hogwart's is requested.
Pairing is Hermione/Draco, rated M for themes of profanity, perhaps smut, torture, and death.
Let me know what you think :)? X
MEMOIRS OF AN UNTOLD STORY
CHAPTER SIX:
SNAPE LOVES LILY
oOo
Hermione took a deep breath as she and Draco rode the winding stairs up to Dumbledore's office, the one Snape had unrightfully claimed. Hermione realised this was the first time she'd visited Dumbledore's office since his untimely death and it made her angry and sick at the same time, knowing his murderer had taken over such a warm and enchanting place.
The winding stairs finally stopped at the double wooden doors and instantly they opened. Hermione and Draco stepped off the stairs and into the office. Hermione felt a slight smile to her lips when she realised that Snape had unexpectedly left everything untouched. The office looked exactly the same as it had last year, with the same sparkle in atmosphere.
However, this all disappeared when Snape stood from Dumbledore's chair and looked upon them with his beady eyes. "How is your time as Head's?" he asked slowly and always with purpose. Hermione had learned this a long time ago; Snape will only talk with caution and thought and it always seemed like it had an ulterior motive.
"Fine" Draco replied swiftly.
Snape nodded, smiling slowly, "So everything has been 'fine'… Do either of you know anything about people sneaking in or out of dorms?".
Hermione suddenly felt her heart beat raise dramatically… Did Snape know she snuck out to meet Blaise the other night? Oh god, was he was going to torture her, like Alecto did? Or worse?
"We know nothing of that" Draco spoke up again, "Has their been some late night activity we aren't aware of?".
"Well" Snape sneered, "I'm starting to believe you are aware of it… Considering the dorm I'm talking about is yours".
If Hermione wasn't frozen in fear she would have tried to escape but instead, her feet remained firmly rooted to the spot.
"Did you honestly think you'd get away with it?" Snape raised an eyebrow towards them, "If Alecto were to find out about this… But then again, your father wouldn't be too happy about that, would he, Draco?".
Hermione's head snapped round to Draco's empty expression. Snape was talking about Draco… What about her sneaking out? Did he not know?
"But I'm not going to do that" Snape straightened up, "If I see or hear that Pansy Parkinson has been in the Head's Dorm again then I will let Alecto loose, on both of you" he glared at them, "In the meantime, as punishment, you two will clean my office, top to bottom, all night… And when I come back, it better be spotless".
"Why am I getting punished?" Hermione's fear had vanished and now she was getting angry. Angry at Draco for even letting Pansy in, and angry at Snape, for being punished for doing nothing wrong.
"Punishment by association" Snape snapped, "I expect better from you, Granger…" he gave them one last look before disappearing from his office, leaving them both alone.
"Thanks for that" Hermione glared at Draco, "If you just hadn't let that stupid whore in this would not be happening".
"Oh are you sure about that?" Draco barked back.
"Pretty sure!" Hermione nodded.
"Okay, so you can sneak off in the middle of the night doing God knows what with God knows who but I can't sneak someone into my room? Classic Granger" Draco cried, rolling his eyes.
Hermione's blood ran cold and she spun around, "You knew I snuck out the other night? I didn't see you…".
"I was sitting in the dark, confirming what I thought you were going to do" Draco replied testily. He sighed and picked up a cloth on the table Snape had left them and began wiping down the desk.
"Wait" Hermione's mind still boggled "You knew what I did and you didn't rat me out? And don't say it's because you need me alive for your evil intentions! If Snape really needed me alive, he wouldn't have killed me but still… Why didn't you tell him?".
"It doesn't matter" Draco brushed her off.
"It matters to me!" Hermione stepped forwards.
"Just stop it!" Draco spun around, "I'm not a good person, you can't save me so stop looking for some redeeming quality! I'm not a lost puppy, I know what I'm doing!".
Hermione's heart beat was pounding so fast and her blood was boiling with anger and most of all confusion. Why did he insist he was bad when he still did good things? Not satisfied with his answer or the look in his eyes, Hermione grabbed what she thought was a knife but was really an envelope opener and held it to her stomach. Draco's eyes widened when he saw this action and pulled out his wand.
"I'll stab myself" Hermione knew she probably sounded mad but she was so sick of being lied to, "And if you're so evil you'll just stand there and do nothing, right?".
"Granger…" Draco began uneasily.
"Let me die, Draco" Hermione whispered, "Isn't that what you want? Isn't that what you've wanted for years? Just let me die".
"Hermione, your not thinking straight" Draco took a step forwards and she took a step back, eyes wary.
"Now I'm Hermione?" she laughed dryly, "It's funny how I'm Granger earlier on but just because I'm going to kill myself, suddenly I'm Hermione?".
"Look if you die then it's my head on the chopping block so just put the goddamn knife down" Draco tried to grit out.
"Your head on the chopping block?" Hermione raised an eyebrow, "I highly doubt that… I've been here for nearly a week and Harry still isn't here! He's not going to come so I have no reason to be alive, do I?".
"Of course you do!" Draco screeched, "Just put it down!".
"Why do you keep acting like you care about me?" Hermione screamed.
"Because I do!" Draco screamed back and in that moment, everything fell silent. Hermione stared at him, not believing the words that just came out his mouth. Slowly, she moved the knife away from her stomach and put it back on the table.
Draco ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, "Maybe you should be detained by Madam Pomfrey for a while" he spat, "How do I know you're not going to try and stab yourself again?".
"Because I wasn't even going to do it the first time" Hermione said, her voice more stable. She folded her arms and watched Draco's face. "I only did it to prove that you would try and save me and that you're not all evil".
Draco's face twisted between a look of horror and a look of shock. "You're twisted" he spat, shaking his head.
"Perhaps" Hermione nodded, "… What you said…".
"I only said it so you wouldn't kill yourself" Draco growled, "I didn't mean it" he picked up his cloth again and went back to wiping the table.
Hermione stood there, unsure of what to say now and after a few minutes Draco snapped "I'm not doing all this work myself, pick up a cloth and do it!".
Hermione sighed and slowly went to the pick up another cloth from the desk. She went over to the other side of the room and began wiping away the dust from a set of books. She almost didn't know what had happened just mere minutes ago and a wise voice inside her head told her she shouldn't speak to Draco for the rest of the night.
Then again, wise voices inside your head could be stupid.
oOo
Hermione groaned and rubbed her neck. She'd been at this for 5 hours now and the silence between her and Draco was beginning to get a bit unbearable. She'd just finished another bookshelf, when she looked over and saw that Draco was opening up Dumbledore's cupboard - and worse - he was pulling out Dumbledore's Pensieve. She had swore not to talk to him the rest of the night but she was not going to let Draco mess with Dumbledore's memories.
"That's Dumbledore's!" Hermione cried, walking straight over to Draco, who looked up at her with a sullen expression.
"So?" Draco continued taking out the glass bowl with blue liquid swirling inside and putting it on the floor.
"That's his private memories, you can't do that!" Hermione cried again, this time, furious.
"Wow, for the smartest girl in our year you really are quite stupid sometimes" Draco rolled his eyes.
"Excuse me?" Hermione put her hands on her hips and glared.
"When the owner of a Pensieve dies, so does their memories" Draco spoke slowly, as if he was talking to a child, "None of these memories are Dumbeldore's, they're Snape's".
"That's not in the textbooks" Hermione scowled, folding her arms in annoyance.
"Maybe you're not the smartest student in our year" Draco gave her a sly smirk and she would have reached out and slapped his pale face if she wasn't scared of his reaction. While Hermione suspected he wasn't truly evil, it didn't mean he didn't have a nasty side, everyone did.
"I'm smarter than you" Hermione crossed her arms and watched his smirk fall from her face.
"Oh really?" Draco stood up, the only thing separating them was the Pensieve on the floor. "Let's see how you get yourself out of this one" he took her shoulder and pushed her down towards the bowl. Hermione cried out as the bowl slowly sucked her body into it. Draco looked down at the bowl with a slight smile but suddenly he felt something pulling him in too… With a muted shriek, the bowl sucked Draco in as well and he suddenly found himself in a black and white version of reality, Hermione a couple of yards away.
"Thanks a lot asshole!" Hermione cried at him, "How do we get out? When the memory ends? And where even are we?".
"Shh" Draco rolled his eyes and looked forwards to the scene before him. Hermione followed his gaze and saw that they were in the gardens outside of Hogwarts, around the back. A teenage Snape was just seen past the tree shielding him, talking to someone.
"Is that Snape?" Hermione followed Draco as he walked out and accidentally bumped into him as he neared the tree. Draco gave her a look but instead of pushing her away, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her in closer, to Hermione's surprise.
"Can they see us?" Hermione whispered into Draco's back, sending shivers down his spine.
"I don't think so" Draco replied huskily, "If I remember right, we can only view these memories from a third person point of view".
Hermione slowly came out behind Draco and they walked around the tree to see a pretty girl Snape's age with long red hair. "Oh my god" Hermione gasped loudly, scared Snape or the girl would finally notice them but they didn't and instead carried on talking quietly.
"What? Do you know her?" Draco frowned.
"That's Harry's mother; Lily" Hermione whispered with shock, "I knew her and Snape were friends in the early years but they must be 7th year now… They parted friends because Snape called her a Mudblood and she was horrified by his involvement with the Dark Arts… Harry always thought she knew Snape was going to become a Death Eater".
"I can't hear what they're saying, can you?" Draco took a brave step forwards and went around the tree, standing inches away from them. Hermione felt sick as she did the same and went to stand next to Draco.
"We really shouldn't be doing this, this is private" Hermione muttered.
"Thought you hated Snape?" Draco raised an eyebrow.
"I wasn't talking about Snape" Hermione spat, "I was talking about Lily, I feel weird seeing this memory, especially when Harry doesn't know about it".
They both fell silent after this and eventually, they could hear the conversation between Lily and Snape.
"Look, I really can't, Lily" Snape spoke softly and Hermione was almost taken aback by how genuine and pained he sounded. Snape never sounded like this. Ever.
"Severus, please don't do this" Lily was nearly crying, "You've been my best friend for years, I know there's another way out!".
Snape shook his head helplessly and turned away from her, "The attack is in three days time, at midnight…" he turned his head back, "Try and get as many Muggle Borns out but above all… Promise me you won't be in 3 days time".
"He shouldn't be allowed to do this Sev!" Lily cried, outraged, "This isn't fair!".
"I know" Snape bit his lip in sorrow "And if I could go back in time and stop myself from becoming… what he wants, I would… I really would" he paused, "But I'm in too deep now, if I left, he'd find me and kill me. And… he'd kill everyone I love or ever have loved" he left his gaze rest upon Lily's angelic eyes.
"No, we could go to Dumbledore" Lily's eye lit up with hope "Dumbledore knows everything, he can help us!".
"That old man?" Snape looked unconvinced, "What is that grey-bearded man going to do when he's faced with the Dark Lord, Lily? The times coming ahead will be one of the hardest yet… Who knows how long this battle will go on for? He has things planned, Lily… Horrible things… Unthinkable things…".
"He's not that strong" Lily spat with anger, "At least, not yet. If we do something about it now-".
"Do you even know how many followers he has already?" Snape interrupted her with a half-cry "He has been recruiting since he was here at Hogwarts and even after! There's hundreds of them, thousands… He's too strong".
Lily sat down on the ground the put her head in her hands, letting out a few stray tears. Snape looked down and saw her there, wincing. He went down to sit next to her and wrapped his arm around her in an embrace.
"I've worked out the year" Hermione whispered to Draco, "Harry told me his mother started her first year at Hogwarts in 1971 and since they're both in 7th year now the year must be 1977, maybe early 1978. Voldemort peaks with power in 1979, this must mean that Snape left Hogwarts and immediately became a full time Death Eater".
"He did" Draco nodded, letting out a deep breath.
"I know you, Sev" Lily brought her head back up, still crying "You're not evil, you're not even slightly evil".
Snape shook his head helplessly "It's my mess, Lil… It's my fault I've gotten myself into this situation… I thought it'd be cool and fun… But it's not. It's dark, all the time".
"We could run away together" Lily looked up, once again hopeful.
"What about Potter?" Snape nearly gagged when he said his name.
"He'll understand, he can come with us!" Lily replied, "He's actually pretty mature now Sev… I think you'd both get along".
"Never" Snape gritted through his teeth. "He doesn't even know you still talk to me, how do you think he's going to react when he finds out who I'm working for? Absolutely not. Tell him nothing".
"Sev" Lily gasped helplessly, "I don't want to lose you".
"I know" Snape hung his head in shame, "I don't want to lose you either… So I need you to promise me one thing".
"Anything, what?" Lily looked up.
"Promise me you won't be here in 3 days" Snape looked pained, "I'm going to slip Dumbledore an anonymous tip before the attack happens but please, just don't be here okay? Promise?".
"Promise" Lily nodded fiercely, "I'll make up some excuse about a family emergency and leave".
"You're my best friend and no matter what happens, I want you to know I love you, Severus Snape" Lily turned to face him.
"I love you too, Lily Evans" Snape nearly choked on his words. He slowly stood up, pulling her up with him. "This might be the last time we get to talk" he seemed shaky and nervous "So I just want you to know….".
"I know" Lily's eyes swelled with tears, "Me too" she went to wipe her falling tears away.
"If only things could have been different" Snape whispered, crying as well. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Lily's tear strained cheek.
"Come and find me" Lily could barely get the words out, "When all this… is over, come and find me, Sev".
"Promise" Snape flung his arms around Lily and she did the same, both bodies so tightly pressed together.
Hermione felt a little awkward watching this scene of tenderness and turned away, only to catch Draco's eye and feel a surge of nervousness through her gut. Hermione turned her eyes back to the scene before them and saw Lily slowly begin to walk back up to Hogwarts. Snape watched her walk, even long after that, he just kept staring at disappearing figure.
Just when they thought that memory was over, Snape cried in shock and pain and leant to the ground, clutching his arm. As he revealed his glowing Dark Mark, Draco grimaced, remembering the pain of his own Dark Mark once. It was horrible, and felt like fire raging through your veins.
"What's happening?" Hermione frowned at Snape, on the ground, crying out with pain.
"The Dark Mark is summoning him" Draco couldn't look at Hermione in the eye and they saw Snape getting ready to Apparate away. Suddenly, like a twisted rollercoaster, Hermione realised that she and Draco had actually moved scenery as well.
They were now in a dark room with a long dark table in the centre and chairs all around it. Hermione frowned and looked up to Draco, "Is this the same memory?".
"Must be" Draco nodded, looking over as Snape composed himself and took a seat next to some other Death Eaters. It only just struck Hermione that she was in the same room as Death Eaters. The colour was still black and white but the thought of Death Eaters being this close made her freeze in fear. The double black doors swung open and Hermione took in a deep breath, "…Holy shit".
Draco's eyes wavered for a minute before the presence of Lord Voldemort hit the air. Draco immediately tensed and Hermione thought her heartbeat was going to burst from her chest. They both knew it was a memory but to be yards away from something that evil… Hermione shuddered.
"Welcome" Voldemort took a seat at the very top of the table, his wand in his hand. His voice was creepy and sinister and soft and Hermione loathed it. "My dear friends…" Voldemort continued, "Today's progress has been most excellent…".
Hermione was so sure any minute now Voldemort was suddenly going to notice her, thank Draco for bringing her here and start torturing her right in front of everyone. This memory was making her breath funny and Draco finally looked down to see Hermione, half gasping for air, with tears in her eyes.
"Granger, it's just a memory" Draco said to her, "It's not real".
"But it could be, someday" Hermione whispered, "One day… I could be here and he could… I have to get out" Hermione looked around her for signs of an exit, "Just get me out, I have to get out of here!" she was starting to panic and move frantically around.
"Granger, snap out of it" Draco grabbed her by the shoulders, "This isn't real. You aren't really here-".
"Yes, I am" Hermione gasped, "He's going to see me, he's going to kill me, he's going to-" before she knew what was happening, Draco had pulled her into his solid, warm chest and wrapped his arms around her. Hermione was so shocked she stayed silent for minutes before mumbling from Draco's shirt, "Why?".
"Because you were starting to freak me out" Draco replied softly, still holding her. Hermione almost couldn't believe this was happening… Their bodies were pressed close together and Draco had his arms wrapped around her back, unconsciously rubbing soothing circles into it. Hermione tried to blur out the voices of Voldemort, Snape and several other Death Eaters and minutes had passed when Draco suddenly realised they were standing back in Dumbledore's office.
The memory must have ended. Hermione opened her eyes and slowly they both began to pull away from each other. "Sorry" Hermione spun around from him and wiped her eyes.
Draco watched her back and said nothing. He slowly reached down, and from the sides of the Pensieve, grabbed it and put it back the cupboard, closing the cupboard door over.
"Are we done here?" Hermione's voice seemed a lot more stable as she turned back around, eyes still red.
Draco just looked into her chocolate brown eyes and nodded. Hermione wiped at her eyes some more and walked to the office door. She gave him a parting look before disappearing through the door and down the moving winding stairs.
Draco let out a deep breath and picked up the cloth from the floor, looking at the office once again. "Yeah" he muttered, throwing the cloth on the table, "We're done".