Ok, first off, I am SO sorry I've been MIA. I've been SUPER busy with school latey and haven't had a chance to type up my chapters. I hope you still love me :)

Second: I obviously still don't own Castle. If i did, this fic would SO be an episode.

Third: Enjoy!

After we finished eating, Alexis decided to take Sophie to see a movie, leaving Castle and me alone. Again. I was beginning to think she's doing that on purpose. Whenever I'm around, Alexis thinks up an excuse to leave for a while. I know because one time she couldn't think of a proper excuse, so she simply stated "I'm gonna go. I can't think of why other than to leave you alone, so...bye." A few months ago, she wouldn't have done that. In fact, she would come up with reasons why I needed to leave. It turns out she had been kind of upset that her dad was basically willing to die to save my life. About a month ago, she began warming up to me again, around the time I helped save Rick and Martha from those bank robbers. I was pulled from my musings when I felt Rick shake my shoulder.

"Everything ok?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was just thinking."

"What were you thinking about? You looked worried."

Of course at that point Rick was probably more worried than I had been, judging by the look on his face.

"Yeah...I was, uh, thinking about the bank..."

Now he was definitely worried. We hadn't mentioned that little fiasco since it happened...too many dark thoughts.

"You mean...?"

"Yeah, that one."

"What brought that on?

"I'm not sure...Can we just go home please?"

"Of course."

…...

We got back to the loft, which we had to ourselves since Alexis and Sophie were still gone. Martha of course, being Martha, was at some cast party and there was no telling when she would be back. I sat on the couch while he went to the kitchen and poured us some wine. When he came back, he sat next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me close before asking "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yeah..."

"Where do you want to start?"

"...I don't wanna talk about it..."

Surprisingly, his only response was "Okay." Nothing about how I was contradicting myself or how talking might make me feel better, just "Okay." He really did know when he could push and when to leave it alone. He knew I would tell him when I was ready.

We sat there in silence for what felt like hours, just enjoying each others company. I had rested my head on his chest long ago, listening to his heart beating. It was probably the most beautiful sound I had heard in a long time. A heartbeat. His heartbeat.

"I almost lost you," I whispered softly, holding back the tears that

were demanding to escape.

"What?"

"In the bank. I almost lost you."

"I know. But you didn't. I'm right here; I'm not going anywhere."

"It was too close. He was two seconds away from pulling the trigger."

"Yeah, but he-"

"No. You almost died, Rick. Not to mention your mother, and then poor Alexis was terrified...If I had lost either of you...I just don't know what I would do...Martha has been so amazing, so motherly towards me. And then, obviously, there's you, and us, and I just-"

"Kate. It's ok. We're safe now, and it's because of you."

"If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have wanted to kill you first."

"If it weren't for you, I'd be dead."

I don't know when, but at some point during our conversation I finally broke down. I couldn't control the emotions that were flooding over me. Then again, when it came to Castle, I never really could...

"Don't cry, Katie. I'm right here. Safe and sound. Have been for months, so why are you suddenly upset now?"

"Because I need you! Before we met, I was a mess. I hated everyone and everything. I was bringing everyone else down too. Then you came along and made me have fun. You took away some of the stress." I knew it sounded selfish, but I couldn't bring myself to care. He wanted the truth, so that's what he got.

"I already know that. You told me last year. Not in so many words though. So what's the real reason?"

"You almost died."

"Yes, we've established that."

"Rick!"

"Sorry, please continue."

"That day, when I went in as a medic and held your hand..."

"That was a nice touch by the way, telling me Alexis was there."

"I thought...I thought that would be the last time I would ever see you. I tried to tell you..."

"But you did tell me, you said Alexis-"

"Rick just shut up for a second! I was trying to tell you how much I love you!"

He froze. I froze. He was obviously in shock, and to be honest so was I. We had been together—in a more than platonic way-(way more than platonic) since the bank incedent, but neither of us had even mentioned the "L" word. I didn't mean to blurt it out like that, but he just kept interrupting me and I was tired of waiting. I looked back at him slowly, terrified of what I would see on his face. But he was smiling, beaming even. He was...radiant.

"Does this mean we can tell Sophie now?"

"What?"

My response was short and a bit snappy, confusion written all over my face.

"I just tell you I love you and that is the response I get? Seriously?"

"Well I just figured you wouldn't have a problem telling her. You know, now that you love me and all."

"Castle!"

"What? You know I've always loved you. I thought you knew. Well in case it's not clear enough, I'll say it again. I, Richard Castle, love you, Katherine Beckett."

"You...You've always loved me?"

"Since I first saw you at my book signing."

I didn't know he remembered that...

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I smirked. He knew to let it go for now. Knew that I still needed my secrets. But deep down...I think he knew the reason I was at the book signing in the first place. I think he's known all along.

Sooo...what di you think? Love it? Hate it? Think it was kind of ok ish with subtle hints of awesome undertones? Think it should go die in the firey pits of hell?

Well whichever it is, let me know! You know what to do ;)

(Oh by the way, I have a chapter and a half waiting to be typed, so hopefully I wont take like a year to update. Also, and you may hate me for this, or you may throw a party. Anyway, I've kind of lost my inspiration for this fic. For some reason my little muse fairies are whispering their awesome ideas to someone else. My point is: I'm going to finish the story, but it will probably be pretty quick here. maybe two or three more chapters, and i can't guarantee that they'll be any good, but I'll do my best.)