My first chapter received really positive feedback! Thanks guys! You are all awesome. Keep it up. Here is the next chapter, full of more bittersweet family moments and flashbacks of Col Daniel Robbins... Enjoy!
The flight to Chicago went as smooth as possible, but it didn't matter, because Arizona hated flying and was fidgety the whole way. Callie sat next to her and did her best to distract her and keep her calm. As if it wasn't bad enough that her dad had died, now she had to suffer for three hours on a plane. Callie was glad that of all the qualities her kids had inherited or learned from Arizona, none of them were a fear of flying. She was just as relieved as Arizona when the plane touched down at O'Hare Airport. It was at the luggage claim that they spotted Arizona's brother, Matt. It was a bittersweet reunion between brother and sister. If only the circumstances had been different, it could have been a joyous occasion. Arizona clung tightly to her younger brother. When they pulled away, both had tears in their eyes. Matt grabbed her suitcase and ushered the family out to his car. All seven of them plus their luggage crammed into Matt's van. Arizona sat up front with her brother and the two whispered quietly back and forth.
"How's Mom?" Arizona wanted to know. Matt stared straight forward as he drove, but Arizona could see the change in his expression even if he didn't look at her.
"About as good as someone can be in this situation, I guess." He murmured. "I've been over to the house a lot, trying to keep an eye on her, but now that you guys will be staying there while you're in town, I can relax just a little bit. Kate and the boys are there now with Mom, waiting for all of us." He said, referring to his wife and three sons. "Josh flew in last night. He's still taking it pretty hard, but I'm glad he's with family now. I was worried about him being all by himself when he heard the news."
Arizona had been thinking about her oldest nephew as well. Joshua Robbins was a second lieutenant in the army and very close with his grandfather. All his life, the only thing he wanted to do was make that man proud. He was a lot like her brother Timothy in that way.
The remainder of the drive was silent. Finally, they pulled into the driveway of Barbara Robbins' home. "Oh, I almost forgot." Matt spoke up before Arizona climbed out of the car. Callie and the kids unloaded and started to go inside. "Mom wants the three of us to go see Timothy's grave today. She's wanted to go all week."
"I don't understand why. It's not like we won't already be at the cemetery enough this week."
"Arizona…"
"Don't. Its fine, I'll go. If mom wants us to go, we can go."
Matt rested his hand on Arizona's shoulder. "It's going to be ok."
"Everyone keeps saying that, but I don't feel ok. Do you? Are you ok with this?" Arizona snapped.
"Of course I don't feel ok." Matt began.
"Then cut the crap. Stop saying it's going to be ok when it's clearly not! Can everyone just be realistic and admit that our father is gone and we're not ok?"
Matt looked out the window into the distance and sighed. "I agree, nothing about this is ok. But I felt like this when Timothy died and after some time, it started to feel easier. It'll get better. It may not feel that way now, but you know it's true. You remember. We'll never get over the loss, but we will figure out how to keep living. It will get better."
"I don't want it to get better. I want my dad." Arizona's voice was tight with emotions. She furiously blinked away fresh tears before they could fall. She knew she sounded childish, but losing her dad made her suddenly feel very small and lost in the world. She was grown woman with four children of her own, yet she couldn't shake those feelings.
"I know. I do, too." Matt admitted.
They were silent for a moment before Arizona decided that it was time to go inside where the rest of the family was waiting. They both got out of the car and went inside.
It was almost five in the afternoon. Matt, Arizona, and Barbara had left to visit Timothy's grave. Callie and Kate joined forced in the kitchen to get food ready for everyone for when they got back. That left all seven grandchildren to themselves. Most of them congregated in the living room, but Harper had convinced Sierra to go outside and play soccer with her. The rest were sitting quietly. At the age of twenty-two, Josh was the only legal adult of the bunch and kept sipping scotch to numb the pain. Every now and then, though, he slid the glass over to his brother Danny, who was 19, so that he could have a sip. Danny was trying to distract himself by catching up with Sofia, but they were running out of things to talk about. Sometimes Josh would join in, but the conversations were still strained and short. It was the only time Sofia had ever remembered feeling awkward or upset around her cousins. On the other side of the room, sixteen-year-old Adam sat quietly next to Holden, who was always quiet and was enjoying the rare silence being shared with his cousin. Outside, Harper had constructed two goals. For one, she used a tree and some sort of large garden tool she had found and wedged into the ground so that it stood up straight. The other was outlined by the edge of the porch and a chair.
"Can't we just kick it around?" Sierra whined. She hated when Harper wanted to play for points. Harper threw her a stubborn look.
"You said you would verse me in soccer!"
Sierra sighed and realized there was no way out of this. Harper gave her sister the ball first, knowing that it wouldn't be too hard to steal it from her anyway. Within a minute, Harper gained possession of the ball and dribbled passed Sierra to score the first goal. Sierra, who had no competitive edge at all, gave Harper some encouraging words.
"Great job, Harper! That was a nice shot!" She immediately noticed the odd expression her little sister gave her. "What? What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Harper muttered. "I was just thinking about something."
It was a beautifully sunny fall day in Seattle, making it perfect weather for Harper's game. The team had already completed their warm-up run and stretches and now they were taking practice shots on the field. Normally, Harper was focused during this time in their pre-game routine. She was a forward and she loved taking shots on net. However, today was different. Harper glanced over at the sidelines for the millionth time. Seated next to her moms were her grandparents. They had flown in for a weekend visit and Harper had begged for them to watch her game. They were happy to oblige, but now all Harper could think about was how every little thing she did on the field, her grandparents would see. She started to feel anxious about tripping or messing up. She knew she was a good player, but what if she played badly today and her grandparents couldn't see how good she was? What if they were disappointed?
The game started and from the first whistle, Harper couldn't seem to do a single thing right. She passed the ball too short and her opponent got it, she received the ball with too firm of a touch and sent it rebounding away, she dibbled right into the other team's defender, her shots went over the net. The list of her failures seemed endless. Harper's face began to flush and she knew it wasn't from running. She'd never been more relieved to hear the half-time whistle. Jogging off the field, she retrieved her water bottle from next to her mom's foldable chair.
"Good job, Honey." Her grandma sweetly encouraged. Harper gave a half-hearted smile.
"Harper, come here." Her grandpa gestured for her to come closer to his chair. Harper walked a few steps until she was standing in front of him, curious about what he was going to say. His hands clasped her arms and he stared up at her with a proud glint in his eyes. "You're hustling hard out there. Keep it up. You had a really nice shot early that I thought was sure to go in."
"It went over the net." Harper pointed out disappointingly.
"But it was close. A little lower and you would've had it! I know you can do it. Your mom has been keeping me posted about your season. I know that you've got quite a strong kick."
Harper felt some relief settle over her. It was like he knew exactly what was going on in her head. And it didn't matter if she played bad today because they already knew she was good. In fact, her grandpa already thought she was playing well. "I'll show them I'm even better!" She thought.
"Harper, you're going to miss your coach's half-time talk." Callie informed her daughter. Harper sprinted a few feet to the team huddle and as she did, she heard her grandfather's voice.
"Go get 'em, Harper!"
When the second half kicked off, Harper was a whole new player. She was cool and confident, ready to show her grandpa just what she was capable of. The game was still tied at 0-0, but with ten minutes left in the second half, Harper struck the ball hard and sent it souring to the upper right corner. She could hear her parents and grandparents cheering as the ball hit the back of the net. She spun around and her eyes found her grandpa's. She'd never seen him looking at her so proudly before. When the time was out, Harper ran victoriously off the field, trying not to look overly pleased that she had been the only player to secure a goal the whole game.
"What did I tell you?" Her grandpa grinned, giving her a tight side-hug. "I knew you could do it. Great job, Harper! That was a nice shot."
"Harper, are you sure you're ok?" Sierra prodded, noticing how distant the younger girl seemed. Harper snapped out of her reverie and glanced at the ball at her feet.
"Yeah. I don't want to play anymore." She admitted quietly.
"Really?" Sierra was mildly surprised. They hadn't been out here very long.
"Let's go inside." Harper suggested, scooping up the ball and not even checking to see if her sister was following.
"That seems like a very long amount of time to have a wake." Matt commented on the hours that Arizona had suggested. It was getting later in the night and all the adults were sitting around the dining room table settling the plans.
"A lot of people will be coming to pay their respects to Dad." She reminded him.
"I know that, I'm just saying –"
"Oh, for the love god! Can you two just agree on something for once?" Barbara blurted out, silencing her bickering, grown-up children.
"Sorry, Mom." Arizona murmured.
"I guess it won't matter if we make sure there is plenty of food." Matt decided. "I don't want Mom starving because we are at the funeral home all day and she can't leave to go eat."
"What about pall bearers?" Arizona wondered, moving the conversation along. "Did we figure that out?"
"The four grandsons can do it and if I do it, too, we still need one more person." Matt shared.
"I'd like to do it." A voice from the doorway interrupted. All the adults turned to see Sofia, who had been standing there unnoticed for some time. Everyone was startled and she suddenly felt embarrassed for her suggestion. She had blurted it without even thinking and now she wondered if that was too presumptuous to ask. "I mean, if that's ok. If you had someone else in mind –"
"No," Barbara stopped her. "He'd want you to do it, Sofia. You're his oldest granddaughter. He'd want you to do it."
"Perfect. That settles it." Matt spoke to himself, writing something down on the sheet in front of him and moving on.
Sofia smiled and caught Arizona's gaze. It was clear from the look of love and appreciation she received from her mom that she hadn't been wrong in speaking up. The others had moved on to other parts of business, but Sofia and Arizona didn't notice. Sofia took a few steps forward until she had reached Arizona's chair and proceeded to give her a hug. Arizona tightened her grasp and kissed Sofia's cheek. It that moment, Sofia realized how happy it made her mom to see her wanting to be a pall bearer and do what she could to honor her grandfather. It seemed like a small task to do if it brought some joy and comfort to her grieving mom.
The plans for the funeral service came up, which evoked an outburst from Barbara. "I still can't find those damn discharge papers! I've looked all over and if I don't find them in time, they won't give your father a military burial!"
Just the notion of that made everyone feel uneasy. "Mom, we will find them. We still have a few days." Arizona promised. "Matt and I will help you look in the morning. We'll tear the house apart if we have to."
The discussions went on for another hour before the group called it a night. Everyone was emotionally drained and the stress of planning a funeral didn't help anyone. In the morning, they would find their father's military discharge papers because none of them wanted to face the alternative. The Colonel had given years of service to this country and deserved nothing less than to be buried with honor next to his son.
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