Chapter 6

My thoughts were still occupied with Jasper as I drove along the highway to work. I was trying to think of something we could do together to help him shift his mind from the memories Maria stirred up. With Edward and Emmett, it was easier. Concert tickets or a car show kept Edward distracted. Emmett just needed any form of competition. But when Jasper was nursing an emotional wound, brooding by himself in the basement or attic was the preferred activity.

Although he did enjoy a good game of baseball. We might have to drive somewhere to find a storm, but it would be worth it.

As I rounded the next bend, the windshield was splashed with rain and gray clouds filled the horizon. Perhaps we wouldn't have to go too far afield after all. The windshield wipers failed to keep ahead of the downpour as I entered the stretch of highway which cut through the forest. Through the water, I could see blurry red and blue lights up ahead. A police cordon blocked half the road.

I pulled over, hoping desperately it wasn't an accident, but even as I stepped out I could see my hopes were in vain. Skidding tire tracks, blackened trees, burnt grass. There was no ambulance in sight, which could mean it was on its way, or had already come and gone.

I recognized one of the police forensics staff as I approached the small group of officers. He looked up at my approach.

"Hello, Doctor Cullen."

"I was just on my way to the hospital. Is any medical assistance required?"

"It's too late for the occupant, I'm afraid." The man pointed down the bank, where a mangled wreck was still smoking. "They skidded off the road, and the car must have caught fire."

I shook my head. "Just the one person in the car?"

"So it seems. The foliage is so thick down there. I'm glad for this rain, or it may have caused a forest fire. Here's the tow truck now."

I nodded, seeing the truck coming around the next turn. The police went to move the cones to allow it access to the ditch.

I turned away, heading back to my car. There was a family somewhere who would soon be hearing the very worst kind of news. My own worries about Jasper felt insignificant in comparison.

It was with a sad heart that I entered the hospital. I was lost in my own thoughts as I walked the corridors, and was only brought out of them when Lana appeared in front of me.

"Why so down, Doctor Cullen?"

"Good afternoon, Lana. I just ... had a very upsetting experience."

"Well, the mood around here hasn't been so amazing either. Must be a full moon, because the patients are all throwing tantrums. Oh, and you remember that boy Simon and his mother? He was discharged this morning, and the poor lamb is still waiting for the cow to show up and get him. Some people just shouldn't be mothers."

My eyes shot open.

"Mrs Woodson didn't pick up her son?"

She nodded, surprised at my sharp tone.

"They've been trying to get in touch with her all day. No answer."

My thoughts were focused on my memory of the tire tracks on the road, instantly comparing them to my memory of the tread of Mrs Woodson's car. A match.

"Something wrong, Doctor?"

I nodded. "Lana, would you mind informing Doctor Stanz I'll be in later. I … I think I know where Simon's mother might be."

She nodded, taken aback at my serious tone.

I used vampire speed to return to my car, feeling desperate all of a sudden. Desperate to prove that my suspicion was not true.

The tires squealed as I pulled away. Back on the highway, I didn't slow until I knew I was approaching the accident site. I left the car some distance away, not wanting to interfere with the tow truck's access. The police were too occupied with securing the tow rope to the wreck to notice me as I approached. My eyes were focused on the blackened number plate. Those simple letters and numbers confirmed my fears.

My hands covered my eyes as a picture of Simon's face filled my mind. The boy would soon learn he would never see his mother again.

There was nothing I could do but turn around and go back to the hospital. It would take the police some time to formally identify the remains. In the meantime, I would have to let Simon's nurses know of my suspicions. At least then they could make sure Simon was cared for. He would likely have to stay at the hospital again tonight.

Just as my fingers touched the driver's side door of my car, a voice called my name.

"Carlisle!"

Edward? I turned around, looking back across the road towards the trees. Where are you?

"In the forest. We need you."

We need? Who else was there?

Once under the cover of the trees, I picked up Edward's scent and ran to his position. Alice was in his arms, shaking with sobs. He gave me a look of vast relief.

My mind quickly ran through the possible explanations. Alice upset, Jasper nowhere in sight. Edward obviously not at school. There really was only one.

"Did someone have an accident?"

Edward nodded. "Jasper."

Alice sobbed out indecipherable words into Edward's chest. Edward stroked her hair. "She thinks it's her fault."

"Oh, sweetheart." I came forward to place a hand on Alice's back. "What happened?"

Alice was unmoving beneath my hand. Edward looked down at her, and then began the story.

"Alice came back to school at lunchtime ... she didn't say anything, but I saw in her thoughts that she and Jasper had argued." He paused. "About Maria. They'd found her scent in the forest and it was fresh."

I frowned. "She returned?"

"Jasper wanted to follow the trail, and Alice didn't ... they argued, and that's when Alice left. Then she had a vision of us all moving, and ... and of Jasper with red eyes."

I reached up to rub my forehead.

"We ran to the forest to see if we could prevent it ... but there was a car burning in the ditch, and Maria's scent close by."

I raised my eyebrows. "The car accident on the highway? That was a coverup of the body?"

Edward nodded. His face became pained as he read my thoughts, which were filled with memories of Simon's mother.

"We haven't been able to reach Jasper. I got close enough to read his mind, but as soon as he felt my emotions, he ran off. I think Maria is with him." He glanced down at Alice. "If I ran full speed I could catch him, but I didn't want to leave Alice alone. Maria might go after her."

I sighed. "Come on. We'll stay together." I patted Alice on the shoulder. "The sooner we find Jasper, the better. If I know anything about Maria, she'll be using his vulnerable state against him."

Edward nodded. "I bet this was all a trap. She will have lured Jasper into drinking human blood in an attempt to remind him what he left behind in the South."

A ripple of fear ran through me. What if her means of persuasion had worked?

"Alice, I know this is difficult, sweetheart," I said, turning her to look at me. "But can you see which direction would yield the best results?"

Having a task to focus on seemed to bring Alice out of her despair. Her eyes became unfocused as she looked around, testing the various options.

"This way." She took off at a run.

Edward and I followed, my son quickly breaking ahead. He turned at various points, clearly taking his cues from Alice's thoughts. I ran behind them both, constantly checking the air for any sign of Jasper's scent.

When a vampire scent did fill the air, it wasn't the one I was hoping for. Alice and Edward stopped at the same time, and I shifted in front of them, feeling a wave of protective instinct.

"She's coming," Alice whispered.

Edward moved back to stand with Alice, and, as a result, I was the first one Maria saw.

She kept her distance, assessing the threat we presented. Alice let loose with a nasty snarl, and I glanced back to find Edward was restraining her. Edward met my gaze and nodded once. I knew what he meant. Our suspicions were correct.

"If you're looking for Jasper, he's at the north end of the river," Maria said. "But if I were you, I'd stay away until he has his emotions under control. He's dangerous when he gets like this."

"What did you do to him, you harpy?" Alice snarled.

"Oh, doll, you don't like sharing him with me, do you? Does it bother you, then? Knowing I taught him everything he knows about women?"

Alice tried to bite Edward's arm then, and I went over to assist my son.

"Alice," I said, taking her face in my hands. "Jasper needs you. Don't waste your time with her. Go to the river now."

Her need to be with Jasper at that moment was stronger than her need to attack Maria, as I had been counting on. Edward released her when her thoughts were calm, and she took off in the other direction, heading for the river.

I turned back to Maria.

"Maria, did you lure Jasper into drinking human blood?" My tone was carefully neutral.

"Lure him? I gave a starving vampire some food, Carlisle. Now he is lying there, mentally broken, because he feels he has failed to live up to some unnatural law you have forced on him and all these others."

My heart ached at the words. Maria didn't know how deeply she struck at the heart of some of my secret worries.

Edward stepped forward.

"Jasper chose this lifestyle. You tried to use human blood to convince him to leave it and come back to the South. It didn't have the result you were hoping for, did it?"

"What choice does he have when he is mated to someone as crazy as the rest of you? To choose between a mate and human blood? What a choice to force someone to make! And people say I'm cruel."

"Jasper did not choose this life for Alice alone," I said, with as much conviction as I could muster. "He chose it for himself. And I can say with confidence that he is far happier now than when he first arrived on our doorstep. Or at least, he was happy. Your reappearance in his life has changed that."

"I've only forced him to confront the reality of his nature. He's a vampire. What good does it do to bury your head in the sand and pretend to be human?"

"What good does it do to live a life that brings terror and suffering to that which we once were?" I said. Maria made a scoffing noise. I could see engaging in this debate any further was pointless.

"I think it best if you leave Jasper alone now. He knows where to find you if he should wish to communicate again."

"What makes you think he wants me gone?"

I raised an eyebrow. "It is very telling that you are here, alone, and he is somewhere else."

"He didn't ask me to leave. I just can't stand to be around him when he gets like that." She waved a hand. "I am going hunting. That human made me thirsty. Tell Jasper to come and talk to me himself if he really wants me to leave."

She disappeared into the trees.

"I thought that's what Jasper did last night," I said, as Edward and I followed Alice's trail. We were moving at a moderate jog.

Edward shook his head. "She told him she was going to be in the area for a few more days, and that he should let her know if he changed his mind about coming South. Just for a visit, of course."

I sighed. "Jasper didn't tell her to leave."

Edward didn't say anything.

Jasper's silence this morning was making a lot more sense now.

As we reached the river, Edward stopped. His gaze was blank, and I knew he was reading their thoughts. When he turned to me, there was an expression on his face that I had seen before. He had something to tell me that I wasn't going to like.

"Jasper ... is angry with himself. He's drowning in shame. It's best if I go alone from here ... maybe you should go back to the hospital. Call Esme and tell her what's happened. The others will be wondering where we are."

I felt a rush of pain. One of my own was suffering. I could help alleviate that pain. If not, I had to at least try.

"I know, but ... Carlisle, don't be hurt by this, but you're not always the best person to be around when someone's slipped. You're just ... a reminder of the example we don't live up to."

"Edward, that's ridiculous. I never expect—"

"It's not what you expect. It's what we expect of ourselves."

"What message will it send Jasper if I don't even take a moment to see that he's all right?"

"I'll tell him you wanted to. Honestly, he'll appreciate it more if you give him his space."

I sighed. Don't tell him I knew his victim.

"I won't."

It took more strength that I thought I had to walk away then. Walk was all I could force myself to do. I heard Edward run off behind me, and soon the sound of his passage through the trees had faded into the distance. Finally, when I thought I was most likely outside of Edward's mind reading range, I leaned back against a tree, burying my head in my hands.

I hated, hated feeling helpless. Those terrible times when Esme had slipped during her first years, Edward had given me similar advice to keep my distance. My lack of reference point in failing to resist the temptation of human blood left me incapable of bringing comfort to my loved ones. It was enough to make me want to drink a human just to be able to say I knew what they were going through.

A stab of guilt assailed my conscience, convicting me for thinking of killing a human merely to make myself seem more fallible in my family's eyes. That wasn't the answer. There was another way, and I had the gift of time to find it.

I straightened up and took a calming breath. The faint traces of the sweetest scent on earth filled my nose, and my mood lifted. She was here. Coming my way.

"Esme?"

In a second, she was in my arms. I held her close, seeking her love and comfort like a thirsty human sought water.

"What happened?" she whispered, her hands squeezing tight around my back. "Emmett and Rose told me Alice and Edward had left school and had gone after Jasper."

"Jasper slipped," I said. "Alice and Edward are with him now."

Esme drew back from me and studied my face. I met her gaze.

"I ... she was the mother of a patient. A ten-year-old boy named Simon."

Esme's hands came up to her mouth in shock, and then she was embracing me again.

"Oh, love, I'm so sorry."

I let myself take comfort from her closeness again, and then Emmett and Rose came into view on the trail. I looked from one to the other, seeing their worried expressions and tense postures. I straightened up, knowing my moment of self-indulgence was over. I had to be strong for them.

"What's happened?" Rose asked. "Did Jasper go off with that tart?"

"Jasper is by the north end of the river with Edward and Alice. Maria enticed him to kill a human."

Esme made a low growling noise. "Where is Maria?"

"She's gone to hunt. She didn't like the effect her little demonstration had on Jasper, but I doubt we've seen the last of her."

"Should we go home and start packing?" Emmett asked, ever practical.

I sighed. "I think so. Alice saw us moving. The future could change, but right now we have to prepare for that possibility."

Esme looked up at me. "Do you need to return to work?"

I nodded. "I need to let them know about Simon's mother."

Esme patted my shoulder. "We'll find the others and I'll see if I can convince Jasper to come back to the house and start packing. We don't want to be seen out here. Edward can go and monitor police activity to identify any danger."

I nodded, reassured by Esme's words. As I bent down to kiss her goodbye, Emmett and Rose walked off a little way, scenting the air. After we ended our kiss, I stared into her eyes, and she gave me a small smile. She whispered more words of reassurance.

"We've survived worse, my love. We'll get through this."

I fondled her face gently, and then turned, running back to the road.