This chapter took a while. I had it almost completely finished back in May, except for one part. And so, I took a REALLY long break from this story and kind of forgot about it! Sorry for the wait! Here is the closing chapter for this little fic! Since it is so short, it might not be a bad idea to re-read the chaps from the beginning to the end. Reviews are greatly appreciated. Enjoy!
Arizona stood in front of the mirror, fixing her black dress so it looked just right. Today was the day they would bury her father. She wasn't sure she was ready for that, but the fact remained that whether she was or not, the funeral would come just the same. She sighed and turned away from the mirror, leaving the guest bedroom. She spotted Harper in the hallway. Her hair was a tangled mess, her skirt was crooked, and she had missed a button with her black cardigan, making the whole thing look goofy. Arizona laughed softly to herself. Her youngest had always been the messy one with the wild, fly-away look about her. Harper turned to Arizona and grinned.
"I'm all ready, Mom." She announced. Arizona shook her head.
"No, you're not." Her mom laughed. Harper's smile faltered. "Go grab your brush and let me fix your hair." Harper scurried off the guest room she was sharing with her sisters just as Callie emerged from the kitchen with a cup of coffee for her wife.
"Thank you." Arizona murmured just before taking a sip of the piping hot drink. Callie was already dressed and had been fixing breakfast for everyone. She had been doing a lot to take care of the family during this time. It didn't go unnoticed by Arizona and she was overwhelmed by how blessed she was. She didn't know how she could go through this without her wife, her very best friend in the world.
"Thank you." Arizona said just before leaning in to give Callie a kiss. Callie wrapped on arm around Arizona's waist.
"You already said thank you." Callie told her with a slight giggle.
"I know. The first one was for the coffee. The second one was for everything else you've been doing, in case I haven't told you enough already how much I appreciate you."
They shared a sweet look of love before Harper rounded the corner and almost ran into both of them. Callie took one look at their disheveled youngest and stifled a laugh. "There's food in the kitchen, Mija. Come eat once your mom is done with you."
The morning went by in blur. Everyone hurriedly got ready and ate before piling in the cars. Then came the drive to the funeral home. They parked in a line behind the hearse and went inside. The family was given a few more final moments before they were to leave for the cemetery. Arizona looped her arm through her mother's and the two made a slow and silent walk up to the casket. Sofia was watching them, her heart aching with grief, when she felt a hand gently caress her shoulder. It was Holden and he gestured for her to follow him. The two walked out of the gloomy, dim-lighted room into the big, echoing entryway where their cousins and uncle had gathered with a man from the funeral home.
"Is that all the pallbearers?" The man asked. Everyone nodded. As he proceeded to give them instructions for the day, Sofia couldn't help but feel a sense of pride wash over her. This task couldn't have held more honor and she was so pleased to be part of it. All her life, she had looked up to her grandfather and loved him dearly. Even though he wasn't her biological grandpa, she had always felt close to him. There had only been one time that she had doubted their relationship.
"Grandpa! Watch me and Holden!" Nine-year-old Sofia shouted across the park to the Colonel. Once they had secured his attention, six-year-old Holden and Sofia proceeded to climb up the playground equipment until they were sitting on top of the monkey bars with silly grins on their faces. Their grandfather smiled back while their grandmother warned them to be careful. Sofia rolled her eyes at her cautioning words.
"I told you Grandpa would be impressed." She said to her little brother, pushing her black hair out of her face. Holden nodded and then glanced at their grandfather sitting on a bench.
"He's not really your grandpa." Holden said suddenly, causing the mood to suddenly change between the two. He didn't realize how hurt that made Sofia and he certainly wasn't trying to make her feel bad, but he had said it in an abrupt, uncensored way that little children sometimes have. He was six now and was well-aware of the fact that Sofia had a daddy that wasn't his. In fact, Sofia also had a sister and other mom that weren't his either. It used to confuse him until that other sister, named Natalie Sloan, told him that her mom Lexie was Sofia's stepmom and so was Holden's mom. For a few months now, little Holden began to think of his mom as not really Sofia's mom and his grandparents as not really Sofia's grandparents. After all, Sofia certainly didn't look anything like them.
Sofia turned her pained brown eyes away from Holden so he wouldn't see her tears. She knew that things were different for her than they were for Holden, Natalie, Sierra, and Harper. All of them had two parents, but she had four. That's what her parents had always told her. However, she knew that she came from her mama and daddy, but she had never thought that it meant Arizona wasn't really her mom. She looked back at Holden and took in his white-blonde hair and pristine blue eyes. He looked like his mom and his mom looked like Grandma and Grandpa Robbins while Sofia looked like her mama and her mama looked like Grandma and Grandpa Torres. Did that mean Holden's mom wasn't her mom? And that his grandparents weren't her grandparents? The thought began to tumble around in her head, making her very sad and confused. She loved Grandpa and Grandma Robbins. She couldn't bare the thought of not belonging to them. Tears began to course down her face. Holden had scrambled off the monkey bars and gone on to play with something else, leaving Sofia by herself to think.
After a while, she slowly climbed down with the somber realization that her family was actually much smaller than she had believed. She wiped her tears and marched away, not entirely sure where she was going. She encountered four-year-old Sierra playing in the sandpit. They weren't very close in age and didn't play together often, but Sofia now felt closer to Sierra than any of her siblings. With all of the confusing questions about her family rolling around in her mind, she could at least tell by looking at Sierra that they were sisters.
Sofia knelt in the sand next to Sierra. Her little sister smiled up at her and the two began to play together. A boy who looked to be between the ages of the two sisters came over and snatched a plastic shovel out of Sierra's hand.
"Hey!" Sierra cried, trying to get it back. The boy kicked sand in her face and started to walk away, but Sofia wouldn't stand for it. As Sierra began to bawl and desperately wipe at her face, Sofia stood and went after the boy.
"That's my little sister's! Give it back!"
She pushed him. Hard. She hadn't meant to be so rough, but with all she was feeling inside, it had boiled over in this one moment. The boy fell backwards and began to cry himself. Sofia panicked and looked from her crying sister to the crying boy. Then she noticed Holden with a mouth wide-open, staring at her.
"I'm telling Grandpa!" He suddenly said, taking off for the bench where their grandfather sat. Sofia felt her anxiety building. She picked up Sierra, who was almost too heavy for Sofia to pick up anymore, and sluggishly made her way to Holden and the Colonel with the extra weight in her arms. She arrived just as Holden was finishing the story. Sierra's cries had turned into a quiet whimper, but she was still upset and crawled into her grandfather's lap. Sofia watched and took particular note of how loving he was with little Sierra. He certainly treated her like she was his granddaughter.
"So is she going to get in trouble?" Holden wanted to know. Sofia shot him a dirty look. The Colonel began to laugh a little, causing Sofia to look over at him and notice the kind and loving look that he was now giving her.
"That's my girl! Protecting her little sister." He put on arm around her shoulders and drew her closer. She felt something stirring in her heart. He had called her his girl. Even if she didn't fully understand the complex family she belonged to, Sofia knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was her grandfather. Even if they didn't look alike.
Sofia never doubted who her family was after that. Even when she was older and had learned what the term "biological" meant. Even when she found out the entire story surrounding her conception and birth. In fact, she counted herself lucky. Her family was twice the size of most people's. Now, as she and the men in her family surrounded the closed casket, Sofia felt the loss of her dearly loved grandpa more than ever. He had proved to her over and over again just how special she was to him. She would never forget him. She tenderly touched her hand to the top of the casket, which was covered in an American flag. She hoped with all her heart that he knew just how much she loved him and deeply appreciated his love in return.
The pallbearers gripped the side rail of the casket and began to load it into the hearse and the funeral procession began. It was a long, slow drive to the cemetery and one that was all too achingly familiar for Barbara and her children. At last, they arrived at Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery. A layer of snow covered the ground and Sofia prayed not to slip the entire time they carried the casket. She inwardly sighed with relief when they set the casket on a stand and she was able to take her seat for the service. Barbara sat stoically in the front row, with her two children on each side. On the inside, her emotions were raging, but she was determined to hold herself together or she knew she'd never be able to stop the constant flow of tears. She felt a hand placed comfortingly on her shoulder and knew it was her grandson, Josh, who was sitting directly behind her. The minister began to say a few words, but all she could focus on was the American flag covered coffin and the knowledge that her soul mate was inside it. She would never see his face again or the twinkle in his eye when he teased her. A tear escaped her eye and she abruptly snapped out of her trance and instead focused her attention on what was playing out in front of her.
The minister closed in prayer and then men in uniform proceeded to fold the American flag. Barbara couldn't hold back anymore. The tears began to silently flow. Next to her, Arizona squeezed Barbara's hand and wiped at her own tears with a tissue. Behind her, Barbara could hear the sniffles and sobs of her sweet grandkids. Arizona glanced back to see all seven huddled together in their row, arms around each other. In the midst of such sadness, Arizona was struck by the beauty of this sight. She was sure that if the Colonel could see them now, he's be proud of how everyone was pulling together and supporting each other. The thought made Arizona cry harder. Her heart was aching and nothing would ease it.
The flag, neatly folded into a perfect triangle, was presented to Barbara. Her lip quivered as she accepted it and then clutched the flag to her chest. The final military honor was the 21 gun solute. The shots rang out over the silent and snowy cemetery, piercing her heart each time. Then it was over. The group began to slowly break up. Most headed over to the restaurant where the meal was going to be hosted. Some said their goodbyes and headed home. For Barbara and her crew, they stayed put a little longer, still sitting in their chairs, watching the casket lower into the ground. It wasn't until snow began to fall that Matt suggested they get moving before the roads got bad. After all, everyone was expected them to the restaurant soon, too. Barbara stood, looked down into her husband's final resting place, and silently said goodbye. Her eyes fell onto Timothy's headstone before she turned away with fresh tears. Arizona came alongside her and walked with her to the car. The service was over. All of it was done and now came the part to move on. Except none of them wanted to. None of them felt that they could, even if they tried.
"I want each of you to go through the house. Pick out something that reminds you of Grandpa to keep." Barbara announced suddenly when they returned to the house. All seven grandkids looked around at each other a little uneasily. It felt a bit like an invasion of privacy to do that. At the same time, each longed to have something that belonged to the Colonel. After a few awkward seconds, the group dispersed.
"It feels wrong to start packing right now." Arizona commented to Callie. They hadn't been able to get much time off and the kids had already missed some school. Their flight was in a few hours and they simply couldn't stay longer. The only comfort Arizona felt about leaving was that her little brother lived nearby and would look in on their mother.
"I'll start packing, Babe. Don't worry about it." Callie murmured. "Go sit down, get a cup of coffee."
Arizona shook her head. "I feel like you've done too much for me already. I can pack, I just don't want to."
"Arizona, just rest and spend some more time with your mom." Callie gently ordered. She pressed a kiss to Arizona's cheek. "I know if the situation was reversed, you'd be doing just the same for me."
Arizona couldn't argue, knowing what Callie was saying was true. She'd do anything for her. Barbara had sat down in her usual chair in the living room. Arizona joined her, sitting on the couch. Harper walked in the room and went up to Barbara.
"Grandma, is it alright if I keep this?" Harper asked, holding out an antique toy model car. The Colonel had had a few of them on his desk in the study. They had belonged to his father. Barbara liked the idea of Harper keeping one.
"Of course." She said with an encouraging smile, slipping an arm around the girl and pulling her close. "That's an excellent choice."
Arizona felt another surge of emotions. It seemed like anything could bring tears to her eyes lately, whether it was good or bad.
The precious moments slipped by all too quickly and it was soon time for Arizona and her crew to leave. Goodbyes were said and hugs were given out. Matt and his sons brought the suitcases out to his car. Arizona wasn't ready to leave just yet. She gave her mother one final, lasting hug and told her to call soon and to not hesitate to call Matt if she needed anything since he was so close. Barbara framed Arizona's face gently with her hands and looked deeply into her daughter's eyes.
"I will. I love you, Arizona, and you have been such a wonderful blessing in my life."
Arizona nodded. "I love you, too, Mom." She choked out.
She turned and grabbed her purse. Callie was ushering the kids out of the house and out to the car. Arizona was at the door when she turned and took one final glance at the living room. Her eyes fell onto the worn, black recliner. She'd seen her father sitting there hundreds of times. She'd had a million conversations with him there late at night when neither of them would sleep, but catch up instead.
"You feeling alright, Sweetheart?" The Colonel had asked her.
"I'm fine, Dad. I just needed to get off my feet." Arizona responded, her hands grazing over her rounded belly. She had slowly eased herself onto the couch and had no intentions of moving for a while. The Colonel took his usual spot in the black, leather recliner near the couch.
"Is he kicking a lot?" Her father wanted to know.
"Like you wouldn't believe." Arizona groaned.
"Like a Robbins." The Colonel teased with a proud smile. "You come up with any names yet?"
"Nothing for sure, yet. We're still throwing around a few ideas."
"You could always name him Phoenix." The Colonel quipped. The joke was not lost on Arizona and she laughed, but vigorously shook her head.
"Not in a million years." She stressed. The Colonel had one final chuckle before the two grew quiet. Arizona leaned her head back and closed her eyes, grateful for some peaceful moments without her energetic three-year-old Sofia.
"I'm proud of you."
Arizona's eyes fluttered open and met her father's. He saw the look of confusion on her face brought from the abrupt statement.
"I'm proud of what you've done with your career and I'm proud your family and how well you are raising your daughter." He explained. Arizona wasn't sure if it was the pregnancy hormones or the authority issues, but the words brought tears to her eyes. "You're a good man in a storm, Arizona, just the way I raised you to be. I'm proud of you."
"Thanks, Dad." She choked out, despite the sudden lump in her throat. She smiled at her father and wondered silently if age was softening the man. The Colonel always spoke his mind, but usually not so poignantly.
Arizona tore her gaze away from the chair and took a deep breath. She'd never forget that moment. Or a hundred other memories of her father. He was a part of her, he had raised her and played a huge role in who she was today as a parent and as a person. She'd never figured out what had prompted his little speech that day, but she was so grateful for it.
A hand gently touched her arm and Arizona turned to see Sofia standing next to her. "All the luggage is in the car." She told her mom. "I think we're all ready to go."
"Alright, thanks, Hon." Arizona sighed and looked back once more at her parents' home and walked out the front door.
"Hey, Sofia," Arizona came along side her daughter as they walked to the car. Sofia looked up expectantly at her mom. "I'm proud of you. Every day."
Sofia's brows furrowed slightly in confusion, but she smiled nonetheless. "Thanks, Mom."
They piled in Matt's van with the rest of the Robbins-Torres crew. It was time to return to Seattle, but not without memories and mementos of one greatly loved, departed father and grandfather. As the vehicle pulled out of the driveway, Sofia leaned her head against the backseat window and closed her eyes. Goodbye, Grandpa. I'll always remember you…
The inspiration for this story came from my own personal experience of losing my grandpa, who was a Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force. After watching an episode of Grey's where Arizona mentioned her dad was a military man, I realized I could use my experience with these characters. After that, it practically wrote itself! I hope you enjoyed this fic. Reviews are greatly appreciated.