Chapter 7

The police arrived at the hospital within two hours of the accident. They had been to the address where the car was registered, and a neighbor had told them about Simon. A heavy silence fell over the hospital staff, including myself, when they arrived to pass on the terrible news to a worried young boy. Mrs Woodson's parents were already on their way, and all agreed it was best for Simon to stay here until they arrived.

I checked on him regularly throughout the night, but there was little comfort I could offer in the face of such overwhelming fear and confusion. There was some hope in his eyes every time he saw me, and I knew he believed that it might just all be a mistake, and I could be there to tell him his mother was fine.

Edward met me by my car when my shift ended. His face cringed with my pain as he read my thoughts, and no doubt saw my memory of Simon's face.

How is Jasper?

Edward looked down, appeared to think over his answer for a second, then met my gaze squarely.

"I know why Alice saw us leaving," he said shortly.

Why?

"Based on the evidence, the police suspect the fire was deliberately lit. The police will question the hospital staff, including you, looking for information. If we stay, Lana tells the police they should ask you about a foreign woman that came to visit, because she had an odd feeling about her. If we leave, she doesn't bring it up."

I raised a hand. "I understand. We leave tonight, then."

There was no point standing around cursing Maria. I had books and art to start packing.

"May I drive?"

I nodded, handing him the keys. Once we were speeding down the highway, I turned my thoughts again to Jasper, hoping Edward would be more forthcoming.

"Alice and Esme convinced him to return home," Edward said. "Mostly by claiming they needed him to help pack."

Knowing him, he isn't angry with Maria. He'll blame himself for being unable to resist.

Edward nodded once. "You know him well."

There was sadness in my son's voice, but also something else. Some nervousness ... it wasn't like Edward to be nervous, not around me, at least. I stared at him, wondering if there was something he hadn't told me.

"You know me well, too," Edward observed.

"Yes, I do," I agreed. "What is it?"

"Jasper knows," he said quietly. It was almost a whisper.

Knows ...?

"That you knew his victim."

My hand instinctively came to my forehead. Who told him?

"Rose overheard you telling Esme. You know what she's like ..."

It felt like salt had been rubbed into my emotional wound. We needed to pull together at a time like this. Not deliberately cause each other pain.

"She wanted Jasper to know how much his actions had hurt you," Edward explained.

"I know she would have meant well." But Jasper had enough guilt without Rose deliberately adding to it. He'd feel he'd let the family down. Let me down. And now he'd think I was angry with him.

"He has thought that it would be best if he leaves for a while," Edward confirmed.

I was shocked. "And go where? Not with Maria?"

"No ... he hasn't thought about where. He just wants to go somewhere and work on his self-control. In a place where he won't disrupt our lives if he fails."

I sighed, making up my mind that he and I were going to have a talk as soon as was convenient.

"He doesn't want to talk to any of us. Not even Alice. You least of all. I think we should just leave him be."

It was then I saw we were driving past the spot on the highway where the 'accident' had taken place. And I couldn't ignore my own role in this horrible event that had resulted in a child who would never be embraced by his mother again. I had been the one to allow Maria to visit our family. I had failed Jasper by not insisting she was too dangerous, and therefore giving him a reason to warn her off. I shouldn't have trusted her.

"That's ridiculous. Come on, Carlisle. You're as bad as Alice. This isn't your fault."

"In hindsight, I would make some different decisions."

"Who's to say it would have turned out any different?"

I looked out the window. "Well, there's a good chance it couldn't have turned out worse. I should have guessed she'd try something like this."

"See, this is why you should stay away from Jasper. He's going to know that you feel guilty. Can you imagine how much worse that will make him feel, to know you're blaming yourself? Even just a little bit?"

"I'd rather he knew the truth about how I feel, even if it hurts him, than he labor under the belief that I am angry with him for killing the mother of a patient."

Edward didn't reply. I could tell he didn't approve.

"I may wish I had made different decisions," I explained quietly. "I feel terrible they've resulted in this outcome. But I will deal with this. I will take support from my family and my mate, and I will look towards the future." I paused. "I worry that Jasper cannot do the same. He was still struggling with guilt over his last slip, I know he was, and this far outstrips that. I worry this is an insurmountable mistake in his mind."

"That's a fair worry," Edward conceded.

I looked at him. "I had the same worry about you in 1931."

He flinched, not wanting to remember that time.

"I didn't resolve it by avoiding you and hoping you'd work it out on your own."

Edward seemed to be thinking over this. Eventually, he nodded.

"You're right. But ... we had ... have ... a different relationship than you do with Jasper."

"Different," I agreed. Edward allowed himself to bond with me in a way that Jasper may never be able to. It wasn't that he didn't want to ... I believe he was envious of the relationship Alice shared with me and Esme. His upbringing as a vampire simply didn't allow for the trust needed to form deep emotional attachments. It was amazing he had done as well as he had.

How could he learn to trust when his closest ally in the South, Maria, had made it clear from his first day that he would die if he ceased to be useful, either at her hands, or the hands of their enemies in battle. He'd been with her for eighty years, and with us for only fifteen. But still, in those fifteen years, we had already begun to reverse the psychological damage he had suffered. And perhaps, when considering the overall picture, this incident with Maria was a necessary stepping point. Of course he had to face her again eventually, to have some closure on his choice to leave the South.

Esme met me at the door when I came in, and we hugged for a full minute before she eased back.

"We need to have a family meeting," she said.

I nodded. "I have to call the hospital. I'll join you as soon as I can."

She nodded, and as I went to the back of the house to enter my study, I heard her calling the others down from upstairs.

I paused to lean on my desk, taking a moment to take stock of the situation. Telling believable lies always required some preparation. The preparation usually took longer than the telling, as I believed in keeping to the point.

It was the middle of the night, so I left my initial message with Lana to pass on to the hospital management in the morning. It was simple. Listening to myself say the words, I could easily believe it.

"We've had a family crisis ... the biological mother of one of my children has died suddenly. We will be leaving tonight to travel to Chicago. I don't imagine I'll be able to be in for the rest of the week."

I would follow this up with another call in a day, to discuss my resignation.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that, Doctor Cullen. Don't worry, just leave this with me. I'll make sure the right people get your message."

"How is Simon doing?"

"Simon? Oh, Simon. His grandparents have just arrived from the airport. They're with him now."

"That's good to hear. Thank you, Lana. I must get back to my family now."

"Yes. I'm sorry again, Doctor."

"Yes, so am I."

I sighed as I replaced the phone receiver.

When I came downstairs, everyone was quiet around the dining room table. Emmett and Rosalie sat by the windows, arms around each other. Alice and Edward sat opposite them. Alice had her head propped up on her hand, and she appeared only partially present. For a moment, I thought Jasper wasn't there. I was about to ask where he was, when Edward looked pointedly at the corner. Jasper was resting against a side cabinet, his arms wrapped around his torso, and his head bowed. His clothes were fresh, but his hair was bedraggled and dirty.

My heart ached at the sight of him. I approached his rock still form quietly, and reached out a tentative hand. Then I focused on my love and affection for Jasper, my relief that he was safe, my hope that he would recover from this setback. And yes, my pain over what had happened. There was no point pretending it wasn't there, as Edward said, he would know anyway. But I hoped it would be overshadowed with my belief that we could find a way through this one.

He didn't react, but I had to believe it had an effect. I patted him once, and then went to take my seat beside Esme.

"I trust everyone knows what Alice has seen?" I asked, entwining my fingers around Esme's hand.

Rose frowned. "I don't see why we have to move. Can't we just plant some other evidence? Tell this gossipy receptionist to shut up?"

"I've tried everything I could think of," Alice said wearily. "It's only going to make people more suspicious. We need to leave. Tonight."

"Then we leave tonight," I said with finality.

Rosalie groaned. I think she reflected how many around the table were feeling, they just didn't want to make Jasper suffer.

"The question is, where do we go?" I added.

"Vietnam?" Emmett suggested.

No one smiled. Rosalie actually glared at him. My thoughts turned momentarily to Simon's father, as I wondered whether he would come home for his son. Surely the army would discharge him, given the circumstances.

"Vermont," Edward said.

"Possible," Esme agreed.

Alice gasped. "No, Vermont isn't a good idea. West Virginia. We should go to Charleston."

Emmett rubbed his hands together, appearing pleased.

I looked around. "Any objections?"

"Can we please live near a good college?" Rose said. "I'm tired of high school. I don't care if we have to move sooner."

"I think it would be best if you all started at high school again," I said. "The country is at war, and I would rather not have any male family members aged between eighteen and twenty-five."

Rose sighed, but she was nodding in agreement, seeing the wisdom.

"Has everyone finished packing?"

"I'm done," Emmett said. "Just waiting on Rose."

"Jasper's done," Alice said quietly. "I still have my wardrobe."

"Okay, so between your wardrobe and Carlisle's library, we won't be on the road 'til morning, in other words," Emmett said, smirking.

Alice didn't smile at the gentle ribbing. She was staring at the table.

"Jasper has something he wants to do," Edward said. "So we'll have to wait until he gets back anyway."

There was a heavy silence while everyone looked at Jasper's hunched form. I could guess want he wanted to do. I'd been hoping he would consider it unnecessary, seeing as we were leaving.

"No," Alice said, "No, I don't want you near her, Jazz. I'll go. I'll tell her where she can stick her—" She broke off and let loose a guttural snarl.

"Well, you have me convinced," Emmett said, folding his arms with a smirk. "Can I go too?"

"Go where?" Rosalie asked. "What are we talking about?"

"Maria doesn't believe Jasper wants her to go," Edward explained. "He needs to clear up that misunderstanding."

I immediately pictured her reaction turning violent, but Edward reassured me.

"I've never seen any wish on her part to see Jasper dead. She finds our fear of that amusing."

"She doesn't seem to have any problem with hurting him emotionally."

"In her mind, he just doesn't realize it's for his own good."

Alice was nearly cracking the table surface with her barely restrained anger.

"Maybe someone else should go and tell her," Rose said. "I can make her leave." She pounded a fist into the palm of her hand.

Emmett smiled at this idea.

Edward looked thoughtful. "I think Jasper has to be the one to do it. If anyone else goes, she'll think we're keeping Jasper confined against his will."

"Then someone should go with him, at least," Rosalie said, looking at Alice. "I can finish packing your clothes if you want to go."

"I'll rip her head off if I see her again," Alice said. "I don't care."

"Alice ..." Esme said gently.

Alice raised her hands in frustration. "Look at what she did to Jasper last time they were alone together." She looked at her mate, and her voice broke as she pleaded with him. "I can't stand it. I can't stand for her to cause you one more moment of suffering."

Jasper continued to stare silently at the floor.

"We all feel the same, Alice," Esme said. "But I agree with Edward. This is something Jasper has to do."

Alice buried her face in her arms, and her body began to shake. Edward reached out to rub her back, while looking to Jasper. But he made no move to comfort his mate. I felt Esme grip my hand tighter, and saw Rosalie snuggle closer into Emmett's arm, clearly feeling unease at this seemingly cold behavior from Jasper. I knew better. As I looked briefly towards the corner, I saw only a feeling of unworthiness, not indifference.

"Hey, well, maybe I can go with Jasper," Emmett said. "Just to make sure she doesn't try anything."

Jasper finally raised his head slightly and spoke. His voice was barely audible. "Thank you, but I want to do this alone." His pain evident behind his politeness. "She won't cause trouble. She just wants to hear my decision."

"Is there any chance she will try and tempt you with more human blood?" Esme asked.

Jasper didn't say anything.

"Well, what's a few more humans, we're leaving anyway," Emmett joked.

I felt sick. Both Edward and Jasper cringed as I pictured Simon's devastated young face.

Rosalie gave Emmett a look. He quickly caught on.

"Oh, right. Sorry, Carlisle."

"It's all right. I know you don't really feel that way."

My voice was distant. Simon's face was a stark reminder of what could be lost if Maria did have any more tricks up her sleeve. Every instinct in my body was telling me not to let Jasper be alone with Maria again. But, I also could not ignore my earlier words to Alice about trust.

I watched Jasper, remembering his first desire to go and meet Maria alone. The idea had been to save us from any suffering. But this decision wasn't about us, but himself. He wanted to go and put his past to rest. A past that none of us were a part of.

"Jasper, I understand if you wish to talk to Maria alone." It hurt to say the words. "How long should we give you before we come looking?"

"I'll be back in an hour," Jasper mumbled.

"Very well." I stood up. "We will meet here again in an hour to check on everyone's progress."

Jasper slipped away immediately. I looked after him, silently praying he would be all right, and then made my way to Alice. She fell into my arms as I guided her into an embrace.

Edward patted Alice on the back before leaving the dining room with Rose and Emmett. Esme came to relieve me after a few minutes, knowing I had to start packing up my books.

"I'm going to call Tanya," I said, passing Alice to her mother's arms. "I'll see if they can have us for a few days while we sort things out."

"They will," Alice said into Esme's shoulder, her voice breaking with emotion.

"It'll be all right," Esme said, gently stroking Alice's hair.

"But, Esme, she's going to hurt him again. I can see it!"

I stopped in the doorway at the words, feeling a chill. I listened, wondering if he'd left already. Perhaps it wasn't too late to go after him and ...

I shook my head. There was no point telling Alice to trust Jasper if I couldn't do it myself.