I was about to climb into the bed with him when I saw something protruding from the blanket.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed.

"You know you want it, Kahl."

"Screw you, Cartman!"

"Go ahead, Kahl."

My cheeks were on fire. Did he just ask me to do him?

"No thanks, dude." I replied, walking towards the door.

Much to my annoyance, he hopped out of the bed and followed me.

"Come on, Kahl, stop being such a Jew!"

"Cartman, even if I did like you, I'd never do you while my parents are home!"

"Ok Kahl, I'll kill your parents."

"What? No!"

"Fine, Kahl, but mark my words, one of these days, I'm going to fuck you so hard you're going to forget who you are. And until then, get the fuck out of my room."

"Dude, what the fuck, this is my room!"

"Not anymore."

"You can't do this to me, fat-ass! Where the hell am I going to sleep!"

"I don't give a fuck where you sleep, Jew, just get the hell out of my room."

I let out a low pitched growl and stormed out of the room.

"Who the hell does he think he is, kicking me out of my room?" I mumble to myself. Just as I'm about to go downstairs and sleep on the couch, I run into my mother.

"Oh hi Bubby, what's the matter? You look upset."

"Ma, Cartman kicked me out of my room."

"What what what?"

I nodded.
"Well don't you worry, Kyle, I'll have that door open in no time!"

She knocked on my door.
"Eric, open the door, please."

"Suck my balls, you old Kike!"
"What what what? Young man, you open this door right now!"

"Not unless Kahl agrees to suck my balls."

"How about this? If you come out, I'll take the both of you to Casa Bonita tomorrow."

"Oh, you're breakin' my balls, ma'am. You're breakin' my balls."

"Will you just shut up and come out already?" I holler.

"Let me handle this, Bubby."

I groan but decide to let her finish negotiating with the fat-ass.

"Ok, how about this? If you come out, I'll take the both of you to Casa Bonita tonight and give each of you five dollars."
"Fifty."

"Ten."

"Hundred."

"Fifteen."

"Hundred fifty."
"Deal."

My jaw flew open at her response.

"Sweet!" Cartman replied.

"Both of you get dressed, we're leaving in ten minutes."

And with that, she went downstairs.

"Fuck you, Cartman." I snarled.

"We can do that after we see the cliff divers, Kahl." He replied.

I felt a blush sweep over my cheeks.

"No!"

"Whatever, Kahl."

As soon as he said that, the door opened and he came prancing out wearing a black tuxedo.

All I could think was, Damn, maybe I will hit that after we see those cliff divers.

I walked into my room and saw a half empty bottle of liquor sitting on my desk.

Well, maybe just a sip...