A visibly upset Tiffany gets up and walks to the window.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that. I don't mean it," she said.
"I know you don't," Gail said. "Tiff, you're doing amazingly well. But you have to remember first that you're still healing, and second, that some of your wounds will never go away."
"Why does it always have to feel like I'm back at square one, like I haven't gotten anywhere?"
Sean gestures to Gail,wordlessly asking whether he can go over to Tiffany. Gail nods. He gets up and crosses to her, trying to soothe her by rubbing her arm.
"Honey, you're not," he said.
"It feels like I am. I just feel like locking myself in a room alone and never coming out."
"But there is a difference. And that is that you do want to come out now," Gail said.
Tiffany shakes her head in disbelief.
"I can show you how well you're actually doing if you let me," Gail said.
Tiffany sniffs and shakes her head in agreement. Sean gives her a handkerchief from his pocket so she can wipe her eyes and nose.
"Let's talk about when I saw you before you went to Tennessee. At that time, you wouldn't let anyone close to you in. Not even Sean."
She nods for Sean to continue. "I couldn't reach you at all. I felt so helpless, and I knew it was my own fault." He leads her back to the couch, sits her down and then takes the spot next to her and reaches for her hands. "I couldn't believe the mess I'd created of our lives."
"We created," Tiffany interjected between sobs.
"I made you feel so alone that you tried to make it all disappear forever," Sean said, tears welling in his own eyes. "You couldn't even say anything about it to me, you tried to leave it all behind without even a word to me about it. That was the lowest point in my own life. We were so far apart that you couldn't talk to me. The thing that had always been the magic about us. You felt it wasn't there at all."
"But Tiff, when you came back, you did come back stronger," Gail said. "And you tried. You tried with Sean, you tried in here with me. And little by little, you got on your feet. That's the fighting spirit that you have within yourself."
"How can I keep fighting when I still get knocked to the ground? When it can come up again at any second with no warning?"
"That's when you can lean on me. That's when you can say whatever is in your head. It doesn't matter if it doesn't come out exactly right. You just can't keep it bottled up inside," Sean said.
"He's right, you know," Gail said. "Otherwise, you're going to be like a bird that keeps flying into the same window."
Tiffany flashes back to a moment from her childhood. "We had a robin that did that when I was a kid. Daddy said it was because he was seeing his own reflection."
"In a way, that's what you're doing now," Gail said. "In your reflection, you're accessing the part of you that doesn't want to forget what that baby meant to you. You want to see that pain, because you think if you don't, you'll be forgetting something so important to you. But if you keep doing that, you're just going to keep hurting yourself like the robin did."
Tiffany considers that.
"What did your father do about the robin?" Gail asked.
"One day, he left the window open all night," Tiffany said. "In the morning, the bird came into the room, flew around a few times and then took off and we didn't see it again."
"I guess we can kind of take a lesson from that bird," Sean said.
"It's true," Gail added. "It's all right to look around every once in a while, you wouldn't be the person who you are if you didn't. So take some time to think about it when these things run across your mind. They are still going to be within you, but they don't have to be quite so stifling if you recognize that they're there and give voice to them when you need to. And then you'll be free to take off and fly again for a while."
Tiffany sniffs again and nods. "OK. I'll try."
"That's my girl," Sean said, sliding his hand down her arm and moving closer to kiss her on the cheek.
"So what are the thoughts in your head now?" Gail asked.
Tiffany shakes her hands. "I just miss him."
"I do too, baby," Sean said.
"Anything else?" Gail asked.
"No, that's really the only thing flying around in my head at the moment," she replied.
"All right. Let's discuss the other fear that your trip brought up," Gail said.
Tiffany takes a deep breath and holds it.

Tiff's been sitting quietly for a few minutes. She looks at Gail and Sean, who are both waiting for her to speak.
"I'm not sure what to say," she said uncomfortably.
"OK," Gail said. "When you think about the possibility of getting pregnant again, what's your reaction?"
"It's like ... for a split-second, it's ultimate happiness. And then the next second, I'm scared to death."
"Can you tell us why that is?" Gail asked.
"I want a baby so much. I mean, that's what it's all about, right? The human race. You get married, you have babies. That's how the world goes on."
"And you think your world won't if you don't?"
"I don't think it's the 'don't' that bothers me. I think it's the 'can't'. What if I can't?"
"What has Dr. Meadows told you about that?"
"She told me last week after my checkup that we can start trying again."
"And that was something that was on your mind when you went to the Keys."
"It wasn't ... and then it was," Tiffany said, not quite understanding it herself.
"Sean, what's your reaction to the possibility of having a baby?"
He weighs his response. "I... would like to try. But I'm willing to wait as long as it takes for Tiffany to feel comfortable with that."
"That's the thing," Tiffany said. "We don't exactly have an open time frame here."
"So you feel like you're on the clock and a bit under the gun?" Gail asked.
"Yes, but it's more than that," she replied. "He wants a baby, I want a baby. What if I don't get pregnant? What if I do I can't carry it to term? Is that going to destroy us all over again? Because I feel like it could."
"That's an awful lot of pressure to put on yourself," Gail said.
"It's there. And it's going to be there no matter what the decision is," Tiff responded.
"It probably is. And it's going to be important to face that. I guess the big question - for the both of you - is this: Are you willing to risk the chance that you could miscarry again? Or do you want to set a different course? You could consider adoption. There are so many children in the world who need the love that you both have to give. What I would like for you to do is talk about that over the next week. These are life-changing issues for you, it doesn't have to be resolved in one conversation. But really think about them and the inherent risks."
"We will," Tiff said.
"Yes," Sean added and they rise to leave.
Outside the door, there is a pause in the air as they look at each other. This time, Tiffany draws Sean in her own arms and kisses him.
"I wasn't sure..." he said when the kiss ended.
"I think I wanted it even more now," she said and he moved back in to resume the kiss. "You are scrumptious," she told him afterward.
"You know, that gives me an idea," he replied.
"For what?"
"Dinner," he said with the traditional twinkle in his eye and she knows she won't be getting any more out of him until they both get home that night.

"So what's for supper?" Tiffany cried, racing in the front door like a kid on Christmas morning later that night.
"Uh uh uh," Sean said, keeping her away from the kitchen.
"Come on, Sean, I'm starving."
"It won't be that much longer. What I want you to do is go upstairs, and put on something that you really feel at ease in. And unfortunately it can't be your birthday suit, for technical reasons."
Tiffany eyes him strangely after the last remark, but she does what he says.
She comes back down 15 minutes later in his favorite pair of pajamas. She's cuffed the bottoms up so they look like capri bloomers on her.
"Are you seated and comfortable?" he yelled from the kitchen.
She settles into a chair at the dining table. "I am now."
Sean comes into the room with a silver platter on it. He sets it down on the table. On it is a fondue pot with three covered trays.
"Oh, this is going to be good," Tiffany said excitedly.
"I agree, but first this," he said, leaning over for a long, lingering kiss. "And I like your choice of apparel, have always loved you in my pajamas."
He sits down and reveals the platters - beef tenderloin and chicken, vegetables and bread. He hands her a fondue tong and they start to dig in.
"Ohmigod, this is delicious," she said after her first bite of the beef, licking the cheese off her lips with delight.
This entices Sean as well, and he leans over to help her out with that. He breaks off a piece of sourdough bread, dips it in liberally and pops that in his mouth. Tiffany watches him savor the taste.
"Mmmmm, it really is quite good," he said.
"Mmmmm, yeah," she said appreciatively.
They continue to eat in this manner, lots of side tasting tests going on.
"This was a brilliant idea," she said.
"Thank you, ma'am," he replied.
She gets up and slips into his lap with her arms around his shoulders. "Now if you'd come with me, I sort of need to 'work' all these fabulous calories off, if you know what I mean."
"I think I get your drift," he said slyly. "Well, it just so happens we have a little free time before the next course."
They rise and walk upstairs to the bedroom hand in hand.

Upstairs, Tiffany lies back on the bed and starts unbuttoning the pajama top. Sean slides in next to her to watch the show, but something's on his mind. She starts working on his shirt.
"Uh, honey?"
"Yeah," she said, busy bestowing kisses upon his neck.
"Do you ... uh ... want me to wear something?"
"No, I'd like you to wear nothing."
He chuckles. "Not what I meant. I mean, we haven't talked about what we discussed today with Gail and I don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable."
Tiffany gets his point. She stops what she's doing to look into his eyes. "Oh. ... No, I don't want you to put on a condom."
"But you're still unsure about a lot of things and I don't want to put you into an uncomfortable position."
The last part inadvertently makes Tiff laugh. She waves that off. "Well, we do have to talk more about all of this, I know that. But right now, all I can think of is not wasting time or missing opportunities. And if the good Lord sees fit to bestow a child upon us because we're doing what comes most naturally to us, then I could promise you that all I would do is be appreciative of that fact and fight for that baby and fight for our family with everything I have."
Sean is heartened by her words. He slips his hands through the space between his night shirt and her body and pulls her to him. They kiss and caress each other for a long time.
"I love you so much," he said. "And you are phenomenally beautiful, never more so then when you're lying here in my arms and gazing into my eyes."
"That's because I feel most beautiful when I am doing so," she replied. "And I love you."
He takes another long look at her, stroking the side of her face and dropping kisses all along her neck as they start to make love.

Quite some time later, certainly longer than Sean expected to take to get to the second course, Sean excuses himself and goes back to the kitchen. He returns with a smaller silver platter, this one with chocolate fondue and assorted fruits on the tray. Tiffany's mouth is watering for more than one reason. She sits upright in the bed, he places the tray before her.
"Sorry this took so long, but I didn't want it to be quite as hot as the cheese," he said. "So I had to wait for it to cool off a bit."
Tiffany liberally dips a strawberry half into the chocolate and her eyes close as the sensation hits her taste buds. "Incredible," she said.
Sean is staring at her admiringly, nodding in agreement. They try out different pieces of fruit in the fondue and feed them to each other between kisses.
"Which one should we have next?" Tiffany asked.
"Well, I've been thinking a lot about that. And I think I've come to a decision," he said.
He puts the tray table on the floor and leans Tiffany back against the pillows. "The fruit is indeed delectable, however, I thought I might want to try this."
He spoons out some of the warm chocolate across her chest and nibbles with purpose. She laughs at the physical feel of it and even more at how it's making her feel emotionally.
"Talk about delectable," he said, enjoying his work.
"When's it my turn?" she asked.
"Soon," he said.
When he finishes the job, he raises his lips to hers and she can taste the chocolate on her lips. She's totally intoxicated by his kiss.
"This reminds me of our wedding night," she said dreamily amidst another smooch.
"Oh, me too," he responded.
They spend a good portion of the rest of the night trying out the relationship of chocolate to body parts.
The sun is trying to peek through the blinds when they make their way into the bathroom to take a bubble bath together in the afterglow after an amazing night of food and each other.
"I am not going to be able to keep the smile off my face at Laura's welcome home party," she said. "That's if I'm able to keep my eyes open at all."
"But definitely in a good cause if you're not," he said wickedly.
"Oh absolutely," she said.
"I do want Laura and Luke to know that I'm making you happy," he continued. "You might have noticed he's not my biggest fan."
"Well, I am," she said dreamily, pulling him to her for more.
"That's all that matters," he replied between kisses.