The moment he passed out, there was a light knock on the door.
"Boys, you okay in there?" Came the nasal voice of my mother.
"Yeah, we're fine, ma." I answered.
"What's taking you so long, bubby?" She asked with a hint of fear in her voice.
"Cartman just took a huge dump! OH GOD, it stinks!" I replied, faking a sense of extreme disgust.
"Well, tell Eric the waitress came back. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear that." She replied. I heard faint footsteps, so I assumed she had left as soon as she said that.
I tugged at his arm.
"Cartman. Cartman, wake up!"
Unfortunately, the chubby sixteen year old wouldn't budge. It looks like he was out cold.
"Dammit." I muttered.
Just as I was about to stage being passed out, there was another light knock at the door.
"Yes?" I yelled a bit too forcefully.
"Kyle? Kyle, is that you in there?" A voice asked.
"Stan?"
"Yeah, dude, hurry up, I gotta piss."
I let out a huge groan but unlocked the door anyway. It was best if he knew what had just happened.
He came in without hesitation, but one glance at Cartman's naked body and he knew something was up.
"WHAT THE FUCK?" He exclaimed.
"Uh, Stan...We sorta did it." I explained as calmly as I could."
"Kyle, what the hell is wrong with you? Have you lost your fucking MIND?"
"What the hell is wrong with you, Stan?"
"I love you, Kyle!"
"AYE, I HEARD THAT!" Cartman boomed.
He got up off the floor and into Stan's face.
"Kahl is mine, Stan, and so help me God if you even try to steal him from me, I'll rip your balls right off your crotch!"
"Whoa, dude, calm down." Stan told Cartman, backing away slowly.
"No, I will not calm down, Stan! How the hell do you expect me to fucking calm down when you bust in here trying to steal my Kahl away from me!"
"I was just sayi-"
"No, you were not just saying! Get the fuck out of here!" Cartman demanded, pushing Stan up against the cold, wet tile.
Stan gulped and nodded shortly before making his escape.
Unfortunately for us, Butters was the next to come knocking on the door.
"Wuh, hello, is anyone in there?"
"Go away, Butters!" Cartman shouted.
"Wuh, fellas, can I just come in and tinkle? I have to go really bad!"
"Fine." I grunted.
"Kahl, no!" Cartman yelled out in protest.
But it was too late. Butters had already seen both of us naked.
"Wuh-what are you doin' with your weiner there, Eric?"
I looked over at Cartman and gasped.
"What's it look like I'm doing, dumbass?"
"Wuh, I don't know, that's why I asked!"
Cartman slapped his hand over his forehead in frustration.
"I'm jerking off, Butters."
"Oh, well all right then."