A/N: After a four-month hiatus and a totally unfair ending, I was sure this story would never see the keyboard again...

For the longest time, I've been thinking about renewing this story. But since PTAT has lost almost all of its fans, it seemed like a pretty bad idea. Did I care? No, because I don't like letting my fans down, even if they do stop reading my crap...I AT LEAST owed them a better chapter. Anyway, I'm sorry for the asshole ending, and if you guys still care, here's my little Christmas present to all of you...

Also, I MIGHT continue this as a regular multi-chap fic again...It all depends on the feedback I get. I don't want to write something if I know you guys don't want to read it.

Cartman's POV

"Cartman, can I ask you something?"

The heavyset teen looked over at Kyle with his huge chocolate eyes.

"What?

"Well...what if I told you that this isn't working out?"

"What are you talking about, Kahl?"

"I'm sorry...it's just..."

"What?"

"This isn't working, Cartman. We hate each other, and you know it. I think you're just using me for sex, and that deep down, you still fucking hate me."

"So that's it, Kahl? You're dumping me for Super-Jock?"

"W-what? No, I just-"

"Dude, if you're gonna lie, you've gotta be more convincing than that. Seriously, do I look fucking stupid to you? Don't just sit there and lie to me, Kahl. Why the hell do you want to dump the man who went through so fucking much just to be next to you, only to get with the pussy ass jock that's been following you around like a fucking stalker all your life?"

Kyle's mouth fell ajar. He wanted so badly to retort, but he couldn't verbalize anything strong enough to tackle the hatred that was flowing so eloquently out of Cartman's mouth.

"You know what I think? I think you're a fraud. I think you're a filthy little Jew who will do anything to get action. Well, that's not how I roll, slut. If you want your ass pounded, that's fine, dude, get yourself a prostitute. But don't go around fucking with people's hearts, 'cause I won't hesitate to put a bullet through that perfect Jewish skull of yours."

"Cartman? What's wrong with you?"

Cartman was already halfway out the door by the time Kyle had said that.

"I'll tell you what's wrong with me, Kahl. I trusted a Jew, that's what. Never trust a fucking Jew with your heart, 'cause they'll never give it back. Greedy Jewish son of a bi-"

"STOP!"

The pudgy brunette felt a gun being introduced to his chest.

"Stan?" Kyle squeaked.

"Cartman, I am going to murder you!"

"No, Stan, don't!"

"Why the hell not?"
"Because, Stan... I love him..."

"Don't listen to him, Kahl!"

Stan cocked the gun and pointed it at the fat boy's face.

"Shut up, Cartman, I wasn't talking to you!"

"AAAGH!" Kyle shouted as he dived at Stan and tackled him to the ground with all the force he could muster.

Stan and Kyle wrestled on the ground for a bit before the fat boy had his first lucky break; The gun sailed out of his hand and landed a few meters away.

Cartman hurriedly grabbed the gun and shouted, "STAN, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM KYLE!"

Stan immediately showcased his overused middle finger. "NO!"

Cartman jammed his index finger against the trigger, and in a flash, huge globs of blood exploded from Stan's chest, splattering the entire length of the room with its deep, velvety redness.

"C-Cartman." Kyle gasped, panting like he had just run a marathon.

"Sorry, Kahl...He was going to kill you...and I can't have mah little Jew getting hurt."

Kyle was still entirely speechless. He didn't know whether to praise Cartman or to scold him...