My life as a moron

by xTrumbleXbom

Wheatley's P.O.V Mostly. He's trying to live as a human. GlaDOS was the cause of this. Happened before Wheatley became a monster, and he won't be one. Everyone turns into a human, and they end up in school! Read! :3 Nvm back to hiatus lmao.

2. Where's that moron?

Hey guys, today I'm sick so I decided, why not write another chapter?
I have gotten more reviews on this story than the other, which is on hold.
I'd like to thank my awesome reviewers: Maxine the unknowingly admired, Kagetora no Tsume, thelilfox and Nullanims.
Thank you for reviewing!

By the way, it'll take a little while for the group to get to school and stuff, might be next chapter.
I'm either going to put them in high school or college, what do you think?
High school – Different houses, but they'll visit each other a lot, boring classes (what's new?)
College – Well.. Apartments with them still visiting each other, and partying! =D. (Wheatley's first time drunk if this happens O.o)
Remember to vote, College or High School in the reviews.
I'd personally choose College, as it seems more interesting living in apartment in a huge building with other people, while having school there at the same time, and partying each day and night =D.(not that they'll party each day while in college.)
By the way, no matter to what school they go they will mess up.
They won't mess up completely but they will, as they have never been to school before.
Of course GlaDOS would be the smart, beautiful one, and the others are just normal people.
Well, as normal as they can get.

GlaDOS would have a ''I don't care about school'' attitude.
Wheatley would be a moron ''What? What is 5x30? Wait what, what, hold on!''

I don't know what I'll have for the rest, any tips maybe?

xXx

I'm planning on letting the group include
-Wheatley
-GlaDOS
-Blue
-Orange
-Weighted Companion Cube (How was this spelled again?)
-Chell (She might end up as a teacher or something, I have no idea what her age is.)

xXx

I noticed that the first chapter was one sided with GlaDOS – Wheatley.
I'll change that, cause i don't think a one sided story will be better, especially if I'm not going to write any lemon, but for the intro I had to introduce them on how I want to make them.
Of course since GlaDOS is human now, she'd no longer is a testing maniac, and Wheatley and other people will no longer address GlaDOS as ''Her'' or ''She'', just her or she.

xXx

"I listen to awesome music while writing!'' Shouting or a voice with authority
''I'm not a moron!'' Human
''Bloody hell, I'm a bloody human!'' thoughts

xXx

If I owned Portal 1-2 I'd make millions of money, but I don't, so I envy the maker of Portal 1-2.
Not gonna hold you up anymore, read and review, it means a lot, thanks!

xXx

I woke up and opened my eyes.
What happened again?
I remember I went to sleep...
Oh well, I'm hungry, I'm going to get ready for the day.
As I walked into the bathroom I couldn't help but feel something was tugging me.
Something bad was about to happen.
Knowing me if my mind was telling me something bad was about to happen, it always would include me.
Damn mind, never giving me a break.

I brushed my teeth quickly and went back to my room.
Going to the fridge I looked what was inside there.
Only recognizing the bread I took it, I had no idea what the other things were, they might be poisonous.
Then again, if GlaDOS wanted to poison me She'd somehow made me survive the poison, as She always wanted to test on me more.
Taking the first bite I felt my throat getting dry.
I didn't trust anything besides bread from the fridge, then again the bread might have been poisoned.
I laid the bread on a table and walked to the fridge.
Opening it I looked around, and picked up a tin can.
Coke..?
I was trying to get the can of coke open, but with no avail I sighed and put it back in the fridge.
Looking in the fridge once more I saw a bottle of water.
Grabbing it I placed my hand on the cap and tried pulling it off.
After 3 minutes of trying I started to get frustrated.

Damn it… Maybe I should ask Her for some help..?
Actually.. Hold that though, I´ll keep peace to myself as long as I can.

I kept fumbling with the cap, pulling and then I thought of turning it.
Why not, right?
Turning it I heard a hissing sound from the bottle.
I almost dropped the bottle because of the hissing, but knowing that it was from the bottle I wasn't too alerted.
As I finally pulled the cap off I put the bottle to my mouth and began drinking the water.
It felt great to no longer have a dry throat.

God bless this water!
I'll keep it with me, in case I get thirsty again.

I put the bottle of water in my pocket.
It took 5 minutes to get the cap back on.
Realizing that it was easy to get the cap off I turned the cap on and off for a few minutes, until I heard growling under me.
I quickly jumped and ran to the other side of the room.

What was that?

''Show yourself!''

No response.
Growling came again from under me.
I ran to a corner of the room and stumbled.
Then I remembered what She said yesterday.

''The growling would be your stomach, when it growls it is hungry.''

Quickly standing up I walked to the table I put the bread on.
After eating the bread I was thirsty again.
Taking the bottle out of my pocket I turned the cap and drank the water.
Finishing the bread I was ready to go through testing again I walked to the door to the hallway.
Looking at the door I fumbled my brows.
A chair was barricading the door.
Why is it barricading the door..?
Standing there wondering about it for six minutes I also realized I haven't heard GlaDOS telling me what to do.
Now I wouldn't know where to go…

Pulling the chair away I opened the door.
Looking at the door at the other side I read the same thing I read yesterday.
I looked at my door and wondered what IDS meant.
Then I remembered what happened yesterday.
Who was that person typing at the keyboards..?
Forget that, which robot was the one with the blond hair?
I assume she's a girl, she looked beautiful too, even when she was knocked out.

Opening the door I still saw them lying there.
I blushed heavily, a guy with dark blue hair was laying over a girl with orange hair.
As dense as I was even I would know that that wasn't proper for humans.
They still looked like they were sleeping though.
I walked over to them I sat down and carefully laid the guy with dark blue hair next to the girl with orange hair.
Might as well, right?
I'm a nice guy, so I'll help people if I can, even when I don't know them.
As long as it isn't doing something absolutely ridiculous, like doing something they're capable off, but too lazy to do.
Looking at the two I thought that they'd make a cute couple.
The blue haired boy looked like someone who's a person who would look for fights.
The orange haired girl looked like someone who'd hold someone like the blue haired boy on a leash.

I looked around the room.
The screen was now black, it was still on, but black.
I couldn't see anything, only the people that were inside the machine, or they fell out since there was too much space occupied.

Looking at the two I wondered why I had a sense of impending doom earlier today.
Even now something was tugging my mind.
Sitting there for 10 minutes I wondered what to do.
GlaDOS wasn't talking to me, I had no idea where to go and if I wandered off I'd probably get lost and in trouble.
I thought about going back into my room until I was called.
Satisfied with that idea I tried to stand up, but after I stood up I fell down not even 1 step further.
At least I had a soft landing...

Wait a minute…
When was luck on my side..?

Just when I was wondering about that...

I looked up to see a face of someone with blond hair, but still asleep.
I barely managed to keep in the scream threatening to come out of my mouth.
Though, barely…
I let out a sigh, a silent sigh.

Though luck decided to toy with me, and did a 180.
Before I could get up her eyes opened.

I've got to get out of there NOW!

But I laid frozen on top of her, I couldn't help but look in her eyes.
I went into a trance.
Luckily my danger sense got me out of the trance and I quickly stood up while trying to run to the door.
I stumbled but didn't care, I ran to the door, I ran and didn't go back to my room.
I wanted to go anywhere but near that person…
The yellow eyes, the blond hair… it was Her…
And she woke up with me being on top of her…
Thinking about it made me warm and scared in the inside.

Running inside the facility got me tired quickly.
Leaning on the wall for some support I took my first glance around the facility.
It was big, and there were white walls with blue stripes across the middle of the walls.
I was standing on a steel floor.
Suddenly I heard someone screaming ''If I find that moron I'll KILL him..''

I gulped, and found my resolve to run and began leaping towards the end of the hall.
After I reached the end there was only one door.
Taking no chances I went into the door.
This room seemed to be another cell.
I heard a door open inside the room.
Looking at the door I looked at a figure just coming out of the bathroom.
''Hello?''

The figure showed no reaction of surprise.
''Who's there?'' The figure in the dark asked.
That's strange, the voice sounded like Cell.

''I'm Wheatley, Cell is that you?'' I asked, uncertain if I was in more trouble.
''Oh, hey Wheatley, how're you?'' Cell answered.

Thank god it's Cell!

''Well, I'm in a bad position, you see...''
Sighing I told her what happened, and explained that I was in deep shit right now.

After I told her what happened she began laughing, hard too.
I was trying my best not to grab the nearest chair and blockade the door.

''What's so funny?''
''Even as a human you manage to mess things up, no worries though, I'll help you, although you might not like what I have in mind…''

She gave me an evil smile, I didn't like that at all.. I began to shiver.
''Alright, tell me what you have in mind, I don't think I have any other option…''
''Hehe, alright, here's the plan…''

After she explained…

''HECK NO!''
''I told you that you wouldn't like the idea, but you have to.''
''B-Bu.. But!''
''No buts, you're going to tell her.'' Cell said determent.

''Is there really no other option, I could also avoid her an-..''
''No Wheatley, you're going to explain to her what happened, and tell her you're sorry for been clumsy and falling on top of her.''
''Aww c'mon.. Do I have to tell her THAT?''
''Yes, else what do you think she's going to make of her waking up to you lying on top of her, with your head on her chest none the less!''
''That was an accident!''
''Don't tell me that, tell her that.''
''Alright.. But you're going with me!''
''Yes, of course I will, I wouldn't want to miss out on this..''

I wondered what Her reaction would be.
Honestly, I had no idea…
I still didn't understand why I couldn't just go hide until either She calmed down or try to avoid Her as much as possible.
It seemed like the best option to me.
But Cell told me to look for GlaDOS, apologize, and then explain what happened.
Of course Cell would come with me.
There was no way I'm going to hell alone, and hope to come back alive.
That'll be one of the impossible things for me to ever do.

Anyways, I asked Cell more questions about being a human, and what it looked like outside the facility.
I asked her if she would stay here if she got to choose, which surprised her.
She told me she wouldn't know, she has been going through a lot of test chambers and it kind of became a hobby to her.
She said she would probably go outside, and come back, then back outside, and keep on going.

I also asked how I should start confessing.
Whatever came to my mind wouldn't work.
I couldn't go in and say ''Hey, I'm sorry for falling on you, goodbye, I'm going to run from your wrath now, have a good day.''
Even as much as I liked that idea I knew that wouldn't work.
When I told Cell this she smiled and bopped my head, saying that the idea was ridiculous.

Oh well, her idea seemed better than mine.
Thinking back at my idea it did seem a bit ridiculous.
Well, guess I'm lucky to have a good friend like Cell.

''Alright Wheatley, let's go find GlaDOS.''
''Wait, what, you mean like… like now?''
''Yes of course, when are you planning on telling her then?''
''I don't know… like tomorrow, until she's cooled off..?''
''I think she'll be angrier if she won't be able to find you today, just to see you the next day…''
''B… Bu… Aaarghhh, gorglegrogshhsh!'' I kept making strange noises because of frustration.
''What…? Well, whatever, we're going to find her Now.''
''Alright, give me a minute though, I need to use the bathroom.''
''Sure, as long as you don't take too long, and if you're going to sit there the whole day I WILL break down the door and drag you over to her.''
''Don't worry, I won't… I won't..''
''Hurry up, well, guess it doesn't really matter, we've got all the time in the world.''
''Guess you are right, so I can wa-…''
''No.. go to the bathroom or we can leave right now.''
''I'm going, I'm going!''

Five minutes later I find myself getting dragged along by Cell through the facility.

''Why are you dragging me, I was only going to use the toilet!''
''You went to the toilet and didn't answer me when I asked questions.''
''So, it's still no reason to drag me across the hall!''
''This is to make sure you're not going to run away.''
''Where are we going, you don't know where She is, She could be anywhere, She could also be outside already!''
''No she wouldn't be, she closed off the facility the moment she took control.''
''Then what happened to the scientists?''
''The scientist have been stored in a freezing cell, so she can test on them later.''
''Oh, alright… you can let go now, I can walk on my own and I promise not to run away, it kind of hurts to get dragged along the floor…''
''Alright.''

She released her grip on my arm and I stood up.
After walking for a few minutes we heard footsteps from another room.
Those were footsteps, so they are from humans.
But the footsteps were coming from a storage room, what would a person be doing there?
For all I know there's only wooden crates with feathers in them.
I asked Cell and she said she never went in there, but that we were also going in there to see who was in there.
Wanting to walk away I started making a plan in my head.

''Oh, and if you try to run away I'll find GlaDOS and lead her straight to you.''
''Wha-.. Wh-.. What do you mean? Hehe, I-.. I wasn't g-going to r-run aw-away..! Hehe, heh.. Honestly!''
''Just making sure you're not planning on it.''

As we were nearing the Storage room the door wouldn't open without a pass or password.
Thanking whatever was helping me I almost let out a breath I held in.
Then Cell started shouting.
''HEY, ANYONE IN THERE?''
''WAIT, SCREW THAT, WE HEARD YOU, OPEN THE DOOR!''

I heard some rustling.
Then the door started to open.
I saw a girl with pink hair and sky blue eyes.
If I wasn't holding in a breath I'd be gasping for it.
This girl was beautiful.

''Hey, who are you?''

She didn't seem to respond, maybe she was scared.

''I…''
''You what?''
''I… I don't know who I am…''

I looked at Cell and blinked.

''How come, you're in the facility?''
''I remember been called a Weighted Companion Cube, after that someone opened a lock to a very hot chamber and threw me in there.''
''After that I was knocked out and I woke up with this body.''

Cell blinked.

Wait a minute, didn't she threw the WCC in the chamber, along with me and some other cores?

''Okay, do you know who Glados is?''

The girl seemed to cringe at that name.

''What's wrong?''

The Weighted Companion Cube seemed to stay silent.
We waited patiently, as she needed some time, as it seemed.
I finally decided to get into the conversation and asked if she had a name, because calling her WCC would seem wrong.
She shook her head no.

Good job Cell, you just got a girl muted by saying a mere name.
Wait, is it a mere name?
Makes me remember why I was running away, and who wanted me to meet Her… umh.. should I keep calling GlaDOS Her or just her? She's a human now… I'll go with her.

I sighed and told the WCC that we were searching for GlaDOS, and asked her if she wanted to come with us.
She looked like she was going to cry.
Cell quickly said that she didn't have to and that we were going on our way.

''Wait…''

Her voice was unsure.

''I don't want to stay in this dark room, and I don't know where to go.''
''Alright, then you can come with us, don't worry, if we find GlaDOS Cell will protect us.. right Cell?''
''Yep!''
''A-Alright..''

The Weighted Companion Cube.. wait no, scratch that.. Weighted Companion Girl.. That sounds wrong, she's not fat?..

''Let's name you, since WCC doesn't really fit you now…''
''Wheatley, did you have a name in mind?''
''Not really… How about you?''

I was looking at Cell and … the other girl.

''How about… Nicole?''
''Sounds good to me, how about you?''

I was looking at the other girl now.

''I'm okay with it.''
''Alright, your new name will be Nicole then!''
''Let's go find GlaDOS.''

I had forgotten all about GlaDOS and now I was scared out of my mind.
Where would GlaDOS be?
Would we be lucky enough to avoid her the whole day?
What if we met up, would I be lucky enough to meet the next sun rise?
Well, better stay close to Cell.
Even though she's the one making me this scared she's also the one which I feel safe around.
Come to think of it, she was the only friend I ever had while I was in my robot form.
Now I have 2 friends.
I felt warm inside, and no longer alone.
Everyone kept calling me a moron, I was going end up as a core with no emotions, until I met Cell, it's thanks to her that I'm not emotionless…

''Thank you Cell.''
''Mhmm, for what?''
''For being my friend.''

She looked at me.

''No problem Wheatley, and thanks for being my friend.''

I gave her a genuine smile.
We could take on the world right now, throw anything at us and we WILL survive!

After chit-chatting and walking we heard footsteps from another room.
It was a room with numbers, so a room for spheres or humans to stay in.
We opened the door and the first thing I noticed was a girl with orange hair.
I think I saw her before in the M.. What was the room called again?
Whatever, I saw her before with the guy lying on top of her right?
Then the guy with Dark Blue hair decided to come in.
Thinking he was going to shout at us to get out I got ready to leave.
But he walked over to us instead and gave us a big smile.

''Hey!'' he said cheerfully.
''Umm… Hello?'' I said uncertain.
''Come in, we are just done with preparing dinner, if you're hungry don't hesitate to eat.'' The girl with orange hair said.

Nicole's tummy decided to growl at that moment.
Everyone shared a laugh and went to the table.
As we began to eat I couldn't help but wonder how they knew what this food was, they just became human didn't they?

I asked about it and they explained that when they were done testing for GlaDOS there was nothing to do in this room besides read.
So they decided to read about human nature.
Nodding at that I asked about humans, like what they do and how they make food, just overall general stuff..
They explained a lot, while at some parts I didn't understand they would explain it gladly.

''Hey, thanks for inviting us to eat, we'll be sure to visit you, we have to leave now.''
''Aww, really, do you have to leave so soon?''
''Sorry, but we have to search for GlaDOS.''
''Alright…''
''If you want you guys could come with us searching for GlaDOS?''
''Really? That'd be great if we could come with you guys!''
''Okay, let's go, ehh…''

I slapped by head.

''What's wrong Wheatley?''
''We forgot to ask their names, and it's like, past 6 hours since we've met them!''
''Oh, right… hehe…''
''No problems, my name is Orange.''
''And my name is Blue.''
''Okay, nice to meet you Blue, Orange. My name is Wheatley.''
''Mine is Cell and that is Nicole.''

Nodding at that we left the room and Cell closed the door.

Walking around the facility some more we didn't know where to go.
We've been walking for almost fourteen hours and we still didn't know where she'd be.
The facility was big, you wouldn't know how big.
Let's say we've seen about 6% of the whole facility by looking for GlaDOS.
''How much longer is this going to take?'' I said aggravated.
''Don't worry Wheatley, we'll find GlaDOS, let's go to the Main Frame Room (bear with me on this name), in that room are computer screens, where all the security cameras are connected to.''
''… It makes me wonder how big that room is.''
''It's bigger than any other room in the whole facility, and there are over… about seventeen hundred cameras in the facility.''
''WHAT?''
''Why are you so surprised, you know the facility is big right?''
''I didn't know there were THAT many cameras!''
''I'm not counting the cameras in the testing rooms…''

''Anyways, let's head to the Main Frame Room.''

After walking for one hour I felt very tired.
Following the group I asked Cell how she didn't get tired.
She raised an eyebrow at me and told me she went through a lot of testing chambers.
I asked her if we could stop, cause the others were falling behind, they seemed to be tired too.
She nodded and we went in a room.
It was a room with six beds, like in a bunker.
The beds are on top of each other.
I went to the left side and climbed up the ladder and got in the middle.
Feeling sleep taking me away I quickly fell asleep.

xXx
Huh? Where am i?

''Wheatley…''

What, who was that?

''You will DIE.''

No… It couldn't be!

''I'm going to enjoy killing you, tearing off your limbs one by one…''

No.. GlaDOS! WAIT!
What are you doing, stop! STOP! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

xXx

I woke up with a start and sat up.
Looking around the room i saw that Blue, Orange and Nicole took the right side.
Thinking about the dream I just had I wondered if that was a dream, and if that was a sign that I would die very soon.
Not taking the chances of getting another nightmare I stayed under the sheets and waited until sunrise.
Of course, I´d fall asleep if I tried to stay awake.
I went to the bathroom and splashed some water on my face.
Sighing I walked back into the room and went back to my bed.
Chell was on the bottom bed.
Slipping back into the bed I heard footsteps outside the room.
I saw a shadow standing at the other side of the room, because the shadow almost didn´t reach the door, and the light was on the other side of the hall.
I was scared, and held in my breath.
The shadow seemed to stop, and then it walked into our direction.
I was very scared at this moment.
The shadow stopped in front of our door, and the doorknob turned slowly.
The door opened slightly and the light seemed to speed its way in, onto my face.
Too scared to make a movement I just kept staring.
I saw a figure standing there, and it seemed to look at me.
Then I saw her blond hair and yellow eyes.
But not sure if the person was GlaDOS or someone else I kept staring.
I concentrated on the persons eyes and I knew that it definitely was GlaDOS.
She looked as she would collapse any minute.
I knew this was life threatening but I walked over to her and put her in the bed I was occupying.
She didn´t seem to know what was happening, and as soon as I put her in there her eyes closed and her breathing slowed down.
Looking at her I though her face looked cute while sleeping.
Mentally punching myself I quickly went in the bottom bed and started to drift off, but I forced myself to stay awake, in case she would wake up.
I almost fell asleep until I heard someone stood up from the right side.
Peeking over I saw it was Orange walking over to the bathroom.
Five minutes later she still didn´t return and I was wondering if something had happened.
I almost got out but then Orange came back out and got in bed.
If I was an anime character I would have a tick mark on my head.
How long does it take for a girl to go to the bathroom, come on!
I know she´s in a sleepy state but still?
Ahh, whatever…
It doesn't matter, as long as the person above me doesn't awake I'm fine.
Since she only went to bed now if I somehow could hide her from the others they won't notice her and we will leave before she even woke up.
She also doesn't seem to know I was here, or anyone else for that matter, she seemed too sleepy.
I don't feel like sleeping, but If I'm going to stay up all night I might fall asleep tomorrow while walking with the group…
I went to the toilet and came back, hopped into my bed and went sleeping.
The last thing I remembered seeing was blond hair from the side.

xXx

*Has arms crossed with a smirk*
And, viewers, what do you think?
4,5k words for this chapter, just like I wanted to have it!
Please review, it means a lot to me, anonymous reviewers is on, so keep reading and reviewing!
I have no idea why anyone would flame this story, unless you hate me for saying that I didn't like Chelley.
Well, whatever…
What do you think guys?
It might take 1 or 2 chapters more until they end up meeting the police, which brings them to a police office and end up living either all together in a big house, separate house or in a college.
They wouldn't have to worry about money in this fanfiction, let's just say that when you're in school you don't have to pay for the house or electricity if you're living alone.
The police will send money monthly to their new bank accounts and they can buy food with the money.

GlaDOS will know a shitload about humans, like she was one her whole life.
Like I said at the beginning, she will be smart, and beautiful, making every guy want to go out with and a lot of girls envy her.
Of course, the only guy who gets a remotely close chance is Wheatley, and Wheatley might fuck up, I don't know if I'm going to make him but they WILL end up together.
That was about it for this chapter, I don't know how long it's going to take me to write another story, it might be a day, maybe a week, possibly a month, or a year?
Who knows, but I'm determinate to get a new one out before this month is over!
By the way, this is the last month before I have summer vacation!
''Get your hands up, get your hands up, get your hands up, c'mon!
This ain't no nothing like a summer jam, we're gonna party like a…. ''*keeps singing Summer Jam*
Don't forget to review!

Join me in the next chapter : Rewriting the Cake recipe?