Love doesn't always mean you fall in love with the opposite sex or someone of the same age. Love is hard, love isn't easy. You don't choose who you fall in love with, and it makes you accept people for who they are. It makes you accept you for who you are. Love is scary.
-me (16)
Finn had resisted the urge to call Rachel for days, thinking that she must still be angry with him. He had, after all, come into her apartment, judged her new guy friend, ridiculed the fact that she was a tiny bit geeky, and had accidentally surprised her into bumping her head. But Finn still stood by the fact that he was not talking about Rachel when he called Alex a geek, he was only trying to show Rachel that Alex wasn't the one for her. Who was the one for her then? The name popped into Finn's head before he can stop it; Finn Hudson. He was the one for her, and he didn't realize it until now. Why didn't Finn see it before? It was so obvious; it was practically dancing in front of him with nothing but a towel on.
He liked Rachel. Finn Hudson liked Rachel Berry. Finn Hudson liked, liked Rachel Berry.
Rachel Berry now liked Alex. Rachel Berry didn't like Finn Hudson, she liked Alex. Rachel Berry used to like Finn Hudson. Used to. She doesn't like him anymore then a friend now.
This revelation made Finn stand up from his kitchen seat, the chair falling back. He thought about this through again; yes, it all made sense now; the kiss, the massage, the Starbursts, Tiffany's, the Christmas tree. Yes, Rachel liked Finn. Finn doubted his relationship with Santana after meeting Rachel. Finn doubted marrying Santana after meeting Rachel. Finn had the strange feeling whenever he saw Rachel. Finn liked Rachel. Finn really liked Rachel, and Rachel liked him!
But not anymore, Rachel didn't like Finn anymore. Rachel liked Alex now, and Finn was going to lose Rachel to Alex. No, he couldn't let that happen. He wanted Rachel. He needed Rachel. Finn liked Rachel, and Rachel still liked him. Rachel had to still like him!
FRFRFRFR
She took one deep breathe before opening the front doors to the museum, quickly walking down the first hall in search of Finn. Things had been awkward and strained between Rachel and Finn since she had told him about Alex, and Rachel wanted to make sure that they were still good friends and that she no longer felt the need to hit him whenever she saw him. Today, Rachel found Finn a lot easier the she thought she would; he was standing very stiffly, staring hard at an old couple admiring a painting. Rachel walked over to him, and when he saw her, his eyes lit up, a grin appearing on his face.
"Rachel…hi." He breathed out, gazing down at Rachel, his face glowing. He was looking at her differently; Rachel didn't know what exactly was different about Finn, but it was still strange to see how excited he was to see Rachel. When she had left him, Finn was extremely jealous of Alex, and bothering her about daisies. What had changed within him that now made Finn look at Rachel like she was a shining star?
"Hi Finn, I really need to talk to you. Are you alright; you're acting weird." Rachel asked, and Finn shook his head quickly, biting his lower lip.
"No, I'm fine. What did you want to talk about?" he asked, and Rachel cleared her throat before answering. Finn had to understand that she liked Alex, and that any chance she had with Finn, had now disappeared thanks to their platonic friendship. Well, at least Rachel now thought of it as a platonic friendship.
"Look Finn, I know the last few days have been hard on you. You're not used to Alex yet, and you're worried about me and don't trust Alex. I get that, and I appreciate how much you care about me, I really do, but you can't act rude and be angry with me for liking Alex. I'm going to keep seeing Alex, but I need you to be okay with that because…because you're an important person in my life Finn and your opinion matters, and I need to know that you're okay." Rachel explained nervously, her hands twisting together, looking up at Finn for some sort of reaction. To Rachel's surprise, Finn only kept staring at her, absorbing her words. He kept giving her that look, not even blinking. It was as if Finn was trying to put everything to memory; every word and every movement. Finn needed to remember the words she was saying; he couldn't forget them now. They were locked into his memory forever.
"I- I understand, Rachel." Finn stuttered out, and Rachel's eyes went wide. That was a lot easier then she thought it would be.
"You do?" she asked, not sure if she had heard him correctly.
"I do." Finn said, wanting to get Rachel on his side. If he at least wanted the chance of Rachel seeing that he was better for her then Alex was, he wouldn't have to fight with her anymore. From now on, it was whatever Rachel wanted. If Rachel wanted Finn to actually like Alex (even though he didn't), then that was what Finn would do; he would put up with Alex just for Rachel. "I completely understand. You're right; I've been acting like a jerk lately and I'm sorry about that. Alex seems like an okay guy, and I should give him a chance. All I want is for you to be happy, and if Alex makes you happy, then I'm happy."
The part about Rachel being happy wasn't even Finn trying to get Rachel to fall for him; that was full honestly. All he ever wanted was for Rachel to be happy; to have her dreams come true and have everything the world can offer her, and Finn would stop at nothing to make Rachel happy. Even if that meant that she was with stupid Alex when she was clearly supposed to be with Finn. Huh, ever since Finn's revelation of realizing he liked Rachel, he started seeing things a lot clearer. Like the fact that Rachel and Alex didn't make a good pair, but her and Finn did.
"Wow. That's so great of you, Finn. I'm actually really surprised by how easy this is now." Rachel sighed, gazing up at Finn with a smile. He was so wonderful, really, they can fight and Rachel could hit him over and over again, and he still would be her friend in the end. She didn't deserve it; Rachel thought to herself, she didn't deserve someone who would forgive her trying to kill them with her fists.
"Well, I've thought about it a lot, and I've decided to act mature about the whole thing. I mean, it's not like we're together or anything, so I honestly have no reason to be angry." He said, and Rachel nodded her head in agreement. As many times as Rachel imagined it in her head, her and Finn weren't a couple, and she had to accept the fact that that wasn't going to change.
"Yes, you're very right." she said, and then went on, more nervous. "Which is why I want you to actually get to know Alex; you're an important part of my life Finn, and Alex might be one day too. It's important for my best guy friend and my maybe possibly…more than just a guy friend to get along." Finn's stomach lurched at Rachel's last words, imagining Rachel and Alex as a couple, and feeling the anger boil inside of him. "That is why I'm inviting you to go out to eat with me and Alex."
"I don't think that's a very good idea Rachel." Finn said quickly, not wanting to be there when Rachel and Alex said cute things to each other. He would feel the need to puke when they did. Not to mention, Finn didn't want to be their stupid third wheel; he wasn't supposed to be the third wheel with Rachel, that was supposed to be someone who wasn't him or Rachel.
"Oh, don't be silly Finny! It's a wonderful idea!" Rachel happily, in better spirits now that she knew that Finn was accepting Alex. "Alex and I are going to this restaurant that he knows tomorrow night and I am inviting you to join us. The reservation is at 7 and I want you to be at my house around 6:30, Alex is picking me up at 6:45."
Great, Finn not only had to spend one miserable night with Rachel and Alex, but he also had to spend it at a romantic restaurant. He could imagine it now; Rachel and Alex holding hands, staring lovingly at each other, as Finn sat there next to Rachel, imagining that it was him holding Rachel's hand instead of Alex. He was not looking forward to this, and wanted to tell Rachel that he didn't want go, but she looked so god damn happy and Finn just couldn't tell her no. Not when she looked like that.
"This will give you the chance to really get to know Alex. You're going to realize that he's a great guy, and deserves to be with me. He's really smart and really sweet and very nice looking. You'll think so when you get to talk to him, Finn." Rachel gushed, and Finn thought that it didn't matter how much he liked Alex; there was no way he was thinking that he was sweet. Finn also wouldn't think Alex was nice looking either, and that opinion was not changing no matter what. "Please Finn; do this for me, please say you will?"
"Fine, I'll go." Finn said with a sigh, and Rachel started squealing with happiness. She looked adorable as she did, Finn thought, he would do anything if it meant she could keep squealing because of him. After a while, Rachel calmed down enough to speak.
"Excellent! So, I'll see you tomorrow, okay Finn?" Rachel said, turning on her heels to leave the museum. "Oh, and dress nicely! Bye!"
Finn watched Rachel skip down the hall, causing many people to look at her as if she were insane. He chuckled at how happy she was, not able to hold back the smile that appeared on his face. She was so perky and happy and full of life; everything that Finn seemed not to be. Of course, Rachel didn't want him the same way Finn did anymore; he was boring. Finn was boring and plain and just stupid. Rachel was made for bigger things, bigger things like Broadway and smart guys like Alex. No, no; Finn had to stay on track. He deserved Rachel, and even if he didn't, it didn't change the matter at hand. Rachel still liked Finn the way he liked her, he was sure of it. He wouldn't get through this if he lost that last shred of hope.
RQRQRQRQ
Still in a good mood from earlier that day, and still amazed by how well Finn was reacting to Alex now, Rachel slid right into her kitchen with her socks, whipping her hair around, and beaming at Quinn who was sitting down at the kitchen table, texting someone on her phone with a smile on her face.
"Who are you texting?" Rachel asked curiously, taking the seat next to Quinn. Quinn glanced at her, and then looked back down at her phone as she received another message. Her face instantly lit up.
"Why are you so happy?" she asked, and Rachel grinned again, feeling the need to clap her hands together. Everything was just going so perfectly! Finn was her friend again and there might be something between her and Alex! When did life start being so kind to Rachel anyway?
"Finn and I are on good terms again, and he's joining me and Alex out to dinner tomorrow night." Rachel told Quinn, and Quinn gave a short laugh. Yeah, Rachel and Alex were going on a date, and Rachel was bringing Finn along. That sounded like a train wreck ready to happen. Seeing that Quinn had laughed, Rachel's nose scrunched up in confusion. "What's so funny?"
"Rachel, you're going on a date and you're bringing Finn with you. You can't do that to Finn; it'll kill him. You're only setting up for a train wreck." Quinn said, and Rachel shook her head at her. Why would it kill Finn? It wasn't like he was into Rachel or anything like that; they were just good friends, Rachel figured Finn made that clear. How could Quinn even think that? And a train wreck, really? Wasn't that exaggerating a little?
"Don't you think you should be the last person to be talking about train wrecks? You kind of had one with Puck when you slept with him." Rachel pointed out, and Quinn blushed beat red, staring at the screen of her and then started texting in a reply to whoever she was talking to.
"Hardly." She mumbled back, and Rachel's eyes landed on the phone again, right now on the table. She didn't realize that Quinn had skipped over her own question with one of her own.
"You still didn't answer the original question; who are you texting?" Rachel asked again, leaning over to see the screen more closely. At her movement, Quinn snatched the phone and put it to her chest as if it was some big secret that she didn't want Rachel to know.
"It's none of your business." Quinn said quickly, and Rachel glared at her. They were best friends, and best friends didn't keep secrets from each other. Rachel was the only person Quinn ever told secrets to, so why was she keeping this one?
"Was it the person you had a date with the other day?" Rachel asked and after a moment where Quinn bit her lip, she nodded her head. "What's his name? You must like him if you're texting him with that huge smile on your face."
"It's none of your business." She repeated, and Rachel rolled her eyes at her. They were not going to play this game. Quinn had loosened her grip on the phone, even putting it back on the table after a quiet second. Rachel stared hard at the phone, as if she could tell who she was texting just by looking at the cell phone. The phone rang again, signaling a new text message, and Rachel lunged for it as did Quinn. The two girls took hold of it the same time, both of them pulling on it. Rachel finally tugged it right out of Quinn's grip as Quinn moaned out a no. Rachel opened the cell phone, and her jaw dropped when she saw who it was.
"You're texting Noah Puckerman? Why are you texting Puck? Wait a second, is Puck the guy you went on a date with?" Rachel asked in shocked tone, having trouble believing the words. Quinn pulled the phone out of Rachel grip with a mean glare, looking at the text and fervently responding. It wasn't until she was done texting her answer to Puck that Quinn put the phone down and looked at Rachel nervously.
"Look, Puck is not the guy you think he is. He's nice and he really does like me for more than just for my looks." Quinn started to explain, but Rachel only glared at floor, upset that Quinn didn't tell her sooner. Rachel would have understood if Quinn had just been honest with her instead of holding secrets. Now she only felt upset.
"I just don't understand…why didn't you just tell me the truth?" Rachel asked in a soft voice. Quinn sighed loudly, wishing that she did have the guts to tell Rachel about Noah sooner.
"I was afraid of how you would take it, and I was a little embarrassed. I mean, I'm kind of got together with a guy I met through a strip club and a one night stand. It's not going to be the most romantic story to tell my children when they ask about the boyfriends I've had in the past." Quinn said quietly, nervously looking at her lap. Rachel bit her lip; well, when Quinn acted like that how could she be mad with her? Puck wasn't the most gentlemen like guy after all.
"I just wish you told me sooner." Rachel said, and Quinn nodded in agreement. Yeah, she wished she had told Rachel sooner too. A new thought crossed Rachel's mind though.
"So…are you and Puck together then? You said you were 'kind of together'. What does that mean?" Rachel asked, finally meeting Quinn's eyes. Now that it seemed that Rachel had accepted the fact that Quinn liked Puck, Quinn was able to breathe without having to worry about Rachel blowing up on her with anger.
"It's complicated. Right now, we're not into labels. I think the two of us are just going to see how we go, not as a couple, not as friends, just as us; just as Quinn and Puck." Quinn explained, and Rachel nodded slowly. That was smart to do; have a relationship with someone without putting a label on it. You wouldn't have to worry about crossing a friend line or acting too much like two people in love. You just simply did what you felt like with that person. Why didn't she and Finn think of that? Maybe they wouldn't be in this situation where Finn was jealous of Alex and Rachel was stuck in the middle if Finn and Rachel acted on their emotions in the first place. Maybe Finn would actually be Rachel's boyfriend then.
"Thanks Quinn." Rachel whispered, and Quinn pulled a confused expression on her. What had she said exactly for Rachel to thank her?
"For what?" she asked, but Rachel only shook her head at her, smiling to herself.
"Just…thanks."
FRFRFRFR
It was a few minutes after 6:30, but Finn figured Alex wouldn't be there yet and Rachel wouldn't mind. They couldn't go anywhere without stupid Alex anyway. Finn didn't care how many times he told Rachel Alex was okay; he would still think he was stupid and that was the end of it. You would have to be stupid anyway to think you had a chance with Rachel when she so clearly liked Finn.
He knocked on the door, and Rachel opened the door quickly, smiling up at Finn. She looked beautiful, Finn thought to himself, wearing a simple navy dress with white stars ending right above her knees. Her brown locks were falling down her back like a waterfall, and Finn couldn't help getting lost in Rachel's eyes. Would it be alright if he just stood here and admired Rachel for as long as ever?
"Finn, you okay?" Rachel asked after a silent second where Finn only gazed at her, his mouth slightly opened. He couldn't even find words to explain Rachel Berry; she was just everything that was perfect all wrapped into one.
"You're so beautiful." He murmured, not even aware of what he was saying. Rachel looked down at her shoes, her face going the color of the setting sun. Getting that compliment from Finn had so much meaning then it would from anyone else.
"Do you want to come in?" she asked him, and Finn only nodded, following Rachel to the living room. He plopped himself onto the couch, still looking at Rachel like she was a shining star in the midnight sky. Rachel left him in the living room as she walked towards the kitchen, and Finn's eyes instantly drifted downwards to Rachel's butt, admiring it. It was her voice that broke him out of his trance.
"Do you want something to drink?" Rachel called from the kitchen, and Finn told her that he was fine. He probably wouldn't be able to swallow water anyway with Rachel sitting a couple of feet away from him, looking as pretty as she did. Rachel came back to the room, taking the seat next to Finn, a large glass of water in her hands. She took a sip, and Finn watched her wet lips as her tongue darted out to lick them. He had to purse his lips together to restrain himself from attacking Rachel with his own lips. "Quinn told me something yesterday, and it really had me thinking about you and me."
Finn looked up at her, as his eyes had gone to the floor and tried to forget about his great urge to kiss Rachel. What about him and Rachel? What was Rachel thinking about? Was she thinking about forgetting about Alex completely and getting together with Finn because she finally realized that she likes Finn as much as Finn likes her? If that was the case, Finn would gladly agree.
"And what were you thinking?" Finn asked in a quiet tone, and Rachel glanced at him, biting her lip and looking down at the floor as if she was embarrassed. Finn just kept staring at her, not even noticing how nervous she was.
"Well, Quinn has been seeing…this guy for a while, and I asked her what their relationship was." Rachel hesitated, glancing up at Finn to see that he was looking intently at her, impatiently waiting for her to go on. "She wasn't sure what their relationship was, and she said that they were just letting things happen naturally. You know, acting on their feelings without letting things like serious relationships or friendships get in the way."
Rachel was quiet as Finn thought about what she said, turning it over in his head. What did Quinn and some random guy's relationship has anything to with the two of them? Wait, was Rachel trying to say that that's what she and Finn should do; just act on their feelings for one another and let emotion take over, because if that was the case, Finn would have Rachel under him in a heated kiss in seconds.
"Rachel, what are you trying to say?" Finn said slowly, still trying to get used to this new idea. He thought Rachel was suddenly into Alex, but now she wanted something to happen between her and Finn? It didn't seem like a very Rachel thing to do. Rachel huffed loudly, trying to figure out the easiest and least awkward way to say this.
"Finn, what I'm trying to say is that if we did that, admit our feelings earlier on and do what our…hearts told us to do, and then maybe we wouldn't be in this situation at all. Maybe there wouldn't be any Alex at all." Rachel answered in a whisper, and her eyes met his. So if Finn didn't bother to be Rachel's friend, if Finn just went for Rachel as more then friends, he wouldn't be feeling the need to hit something every two minutes out of jealousy? He wouldn't have to be worrying about a stupid guy named Alex who he was sure Rachel was starting to like even more? Damn, if he and Rachel acted on how they felt, the two of them could be making out right now instead of just talking.
"What does this mean, Rachel? Are you trying to tell me that there could simply be no Alex as long as we were just plain honest with our feelings?" Finn asked; he wanted to make sure he understood this correctly. It sounded like it was too good to be true; Rachel just wanted to act on how they felt? Well, Finn could do that. Finn would be too happy to do that! She nodded silently, and Finn had to bite back a smile. "So, can we, like, start that…now?"
"Well, um, oh, I don't-", but Rachel never finished her sentence, because Finn was leaning in closer now, and she found herself doing the same. This was it; this was that moment. It was another one of their moments, another one of those times where everything fell right into place and the urge was too strong to hold back. Finn's lips were so close to hers, and all Rachel had to do was lean in one more inch and she would feel it. This was the moment, and she was going to act on it. His hand came up to cradle her cheek softly, rubbing circles against her soft skin with his thumb, and she leaned into the hand, closing her eyes. Yes, Rachel was going to kiss Finn. She was going to kiss Finn now.
The doorbell snapped both of them out of the trance, and Rachel slapped Finn's hand away, tumbling off the bed and falling on the floor. Finn still sat in the same position as before, his hand in midair where it had been touching Rachel's cheek. She looked at him with wide eyes, scrambling to get up.
"Oh no, oh no, oh no." she chanted, running out of the living room and towards the front door. Finn heard her open the door, and Alex's voice dragged into the apartment. Finn closed his eyes at the sound of his voice, putting his hand in his lap, and taking a deep breath before standing up and welcoming Alex. He really felt the need to punch that guy in the face more than ever for ruining his moment to kiss Rachel. In the hallway, Finn saw Rachel smile at Alex and they said their hellos. Finn cleared his throat so Alex would notice his presence, because he spotted him checking out Rachel in her dress. The only person allowed to check out Rachel in a dress was Finn.
"Oh, Finn, I wasn't expecting you to be here. You do spend a lot of time here, don't you?" Alex asked, surprised to see him here again. Why did Finn spend so much time at Rachel's anyway? Couldn't they go to his apartment for once? Finn gave Alex a tight smile, trying to hold back his anger for ruining his kiss with Rachel.
"Rachel invited me to come along." He said, and Alex turned to Rachel, clearly taken back. So he didn't know about Finn joining them? This would be interesting. But Alex only looked a little mad for a moment before putting another smile on, turning back to Finn nervously.
"Wonderful. That's wonderful." Alex said quickly, and Rachel bit her lip.
"That's alright, right Alex? I figured you and Finn could get to know each other more this way." Rachel explained, and Alex nodded his head, reassuring her that it was perfectly fine. Finn had a feeling Alex wasn't being totally honest with her. Rachel turned to Finn, to make sure he was still okay with all of this.
"We should get going." He said, not able to give Rachel an assuring smile. Alex led them out of the apartment, where he immediately took Rachel's hand into his own. Finn walked behind them, eyeing their locked hands and wishing that Rachel would pull her hand away from Alex's and takes Finn's instead.
FRFRFRFR
Alex and Rachel chatted excitedly, laughing at the same things and smiling at one another as Finn poked his spaghetti and meatballs with his fork, sulking and wishing Rachel would realize he was there. Throughout the whole dinner so far, Rachel and Alex had barely acknowledged his existence, almost sending the waitress away once the two of them had ordered their food. If the waitress wasn't so mesmerized by Finn's looks and asked him what he wanted, Finn wouldn't have ordered anything at all.
"I hate how everyone thinks that if you're in Hufflepuff, that means you're a loser and you're not good for anything." Rachel was saying, and Alex nodded quickly, agreeing with her. They were now on the topic of Harry Potter, which Rachel had found out that Alex was just as obsessed with as she was. She had read those books too many times to count.
"What about you, Finn? What's your take on the Hogwarts houses?" Rachel suddenly asked, turning to Finn. Finn looked up from his meal, his mouth slightly opened, trying to form an answer. It was the first time Rachel had said something to him since they arrived at the restaurant, and Finn couldn't even think straight. Hogwarts houses; what were the houses again?
"I don't really have an opinion on them. I've only seen the movies, sorry." He said quietly, glancing down at his food. Alex gave him a look that clearly said he was judging him on the fact that he never bothered to read the Harry Potter series, but Rachel just gave him an understanding smile.
"That's okay. At least you've seen the movies." She said, feeling the urge to take his hand, but feeling that it wasn't appropriate. Finn tried to smile back at her, but he had the feeling that it wasn't okay; his lack of reading only made him more of an outcast from Rachel and Alex.
"Yeah, they were good." He noted, and then Rachel's attention was directed back at Alex, where they started talking about the differences between the books and movies, and what they wished the movies didn't leave out. Feeling no need to even try and participate in this conversation and wishing that he had stayed home instead of coming here with Rachel and Alex, Finn picked up one of the breadsticks from the side of his plate, taking a small bite of it. For a place that named itself after the food breadsticks, the breadsticks weren't even that great here. What a stupid place for Alex to bring them to.
"So tell me more about your job, Alex. You must constantly be working." Rachel said, putting her chin in her hand for support. Finn bothered to spare Alex a glance, before his eyes shifted to look at Rachel's face.
"Well, like I said, there aren't that many of us working on the site." Alex told Rachel, and Finn rolled his eyes, putting all his focus on staring at Rachel without making it too obvious. Alex kept talking about his job, but Finn could only concentrate on how beautiful Rachel was and how he deserved to be with her more than Alex did. Her and Finn were better friends after all, and it was clear that Rachel had feelings for Finn in a more than a friend way. She had to return the feelings Finn had for her. He didn't know what he would do if Rachel didn't.
"Would you like to have some dessert or coffee?" the blonde waitress said, coming back to their table. She flashed Finn another flirty smile, but Finn ignored her, grumbling quietly and glaring at his food. Alex glanced at Rachel, unsure of how to respond. Rachel shrugged, nodding her head.
"I guess I'll have a coffee." She told the waitress, telling her exactly how she wanted it, and then Alex joined her with his own order. The waitress looked over at Finn, who was still glaring at his plate.
"What about you, sir? Is there anything I can do for you?" she asked, giving Finn a sly smile. Finn didn't even hear her double meaning of the waitress' words. He didn't even look up from his plate when he told her no. He was in no mood for coffee or cake or ice cream; tonight was not a night worth any of those delicious foods.
The waitress soon came back with the coffee, warning Rachel that it might be a little hot, and then giving Finn one more desperate look, asking him for the last time if there wasn't something she could do for him. This time, Finn did pick up her double meaning, and he instantly thought that the only person he wanted that double meaning from was Rachel.
"No." he mumbled, and the waitress left, clearly disappointed, but Finn didn't even notice. Rachel and Alex kept having a good time while Finn sat there and sulked. This was most definitely one of the worst nights of his life.
FRFRFRFR
When the three of them walked out of the restaurant, Finn couldn't be any more grateful. It was about time this long night ended, and as he watched Rachel and Alex stand outside with their coats wrapped firmly around their bodies, Finn wondered if he had imagined the whole thing that happened between him and Rachel before Alex had knocked on her door earlier that evening. If she wanted to act on her feelings so much with Finn, then why was she leading Alex on like this?
It was very cold outside, and Finn could see his breathe, wishing that Rachel and Alex would just say their goodbyes already. Finn noted that Alex seemed to move closer to Rachel, putting his hand on her arm. His eyes narrowed in on the two of them enviously.
"Rachel, we should get going. It's late." Finn said louder then he meant to, moving to stand next to Rachel, not even looking at Alex. Rachel looked from Finn to Alex and then at her watch, realizing exactly what time it was.
"Oh, I didn't realize how late it was. Thank you so much for the dinner Alex, it was delicious." Rachel said, and Finn held back a snort. If she was saying the dinner was delicious, then Rachel mustn't have been talking about the breadsticks, because they absolutely sucked.
"It was my pleasure. I had a good time. We should go out again sometime." Alex said, smiling at Rachel. Yeah right, as far as Finn was concerned, these Rachel and Alex dates were done and over with. At least, that's what he hoped. Alex's eyes shifted from Rachel to Finn, realizing something. "Wait, why is Finn going home with you?"
"Oh, no, Finn's not going home with me, he just lives in my direction." Rachel explained, letting out a small laugh. What would be so funny about Finn going home with Rachel? Alex joined in with her laughter after a second, still giving Finn a suspicious look.
"Well, maybe I should walk you home." He offered, and Rachel shook her head, saying that that wasn't needed. Her response gave Finn a little hope; maybe Rachel didn't want Alex to walk her home, because she didn't really feel anything for him. Maybe she didn't really like Alex in that way at all. Finn's newly found hopes were broken the second after he thought them.
Alex had closed the distance between Rachel and him, and Rachel's lips connected to his in a kiss that made it feel like something was punching Finn right into the gut repeatedly. Alex had his eyes closed, and Rachel looked taken by surprised, her hands awkwardly resting on Alex' shoulders. Finn's fists clenched and unclenched as something inside of him burned like fire, and he watched with slit eyes as Alex smashed his lips against Rachel's, feeling a very great need to punch Alex right in the face. Finn seemed to stop thinking; he was too busy trying to control himself from absolutely attacking Alex. How dare him! What gave Alex the right to just kiss Rachel like that when she so clearly did not want it? God, Finn wanted to punch him. He wanted to punch him really, really badly!
"Okay, that's enough!" Finn suddenly exclaimed, literally taking hold of Rachel's shoulder and pulling her away from Alex and his stupid lips. Rachel didn't seem like she was responding much anyway to the kiss, but when Finn pulled her away, she turned to face him.
"That was very rude Finn." She told him, and Finn couldn't help but roll his eyes. He was being rude? He wasn't the one who just completely attacked Rachel with his lips while another man was standing there.
"That's okay Rachel, I have to go anyway. It's late." Alex said, giving Rachel a sympathetic look, before glancing up at Finn with a slight smirk on his face. That little bastard, Finn thought himself; he knew that that kiss would make him angry! Damn Alex and his bastardness that Rachel seemed to like so much.
"Have a good night Alex." Rachel said, and Finn didn't hear Alex' response; he was too busy figuring out ways to destroy Alex for kissing Rachel. Rachel tugged on his arm, and Finn noticed that Alex was walking in the opposite direction of them, and Finn turned the other way to follow Rachel down the sidewalk.
"I can't believe that tool; kissing you like that, how disgusting." Finn said angrily after they turned a corner. Rachel glared at him, and he wondered why she was suddenly so pissed.
"I can't believe how rude you were being Finn!" she said loudly, and Finn scoffed. Yeah, he was the rude one, sure.
"I was not! Alex was the one who threw himself at you!" Finn said back, and felt like barfing just by the memory. The kiss was so disgusting, and it felt like Alex was actually asking for Finn to punch him.
"I'm not just talking about what happened with the kiss, Finn. I'm talking about the entire night. You were supposed to talk with Alex and connect with him, but instead you just kept quiet the entire time and acted like a six-year-old!" Rachel pointed out, and Finn glared down at her. It wasn't his fault that Rachel and Alex only talked about stuff that he didn't know about or was interested in. Maybe if that had talked about stuff that Finn liked, he would have actually said stuff. But no, Rachel and Alex had to bond over people turning into animals and kids going to a wizard school.
"Alex is stupid. He's a douche bag, and he also looks like a terrible kisser." He said, not even bothering to look at Rachel's reaction now. She gasped at him, slapping his arm, but Finn ignored her as he kept walking with determination.
"Don't say those things! God dammit, why are you acting like this? It's like your, I don't know, jealous of Alex or something." Rachel said loudly, struggling to keep up with Finn's fast pace. Finn snorted at her words, yeah, she got it exactly right, but Finn wasn't going to admit that. That would just make everything worse then it already was.
"Please! Like I would be jealous of Alex! Why would I be jealous of him anyway? Do I want to be a geek too, or do I wish I worked for Tumblr? No, and it's because I don't wish for those things Rachel!" Finn turned around to face Rachel, both of them stopping in their tracks. He glared down at her and Rachel returned the look, and all of Finn's feelings seem to come to the surface as they stared at each other. "Am I jealous that you're suddenly into Alex and he's totally into you, and I'm just standing here thinking 'what the hell, I wish that was me she was into'? No Rachel, I'm not angry about that either!"
"Then stop acting like a jealous boyfriend!" Rachel shouted back in frustration after a silent moment in which she thought about what Finn had just said. She was staring daggers into Finn, feeling the anger boiling up inside of her, but the only thing Rachel could think about was Finn. She could only think about how much she adored angry and jealous Finn. This was a Finn she had never seen before, and Rachel had to admit it, this Finn was hot. She was angry and mad and frustrated, but the only thing Rachel could think about was wrapping her arms around Finn's neck and kissing him until neither of them could think anymore. But no, Rachel couldn't do that. There was so much going on; there was Alex and anger with Finn, and- and life. No, Rachel couldn't get side tracked by her feelings for Finn.
In the next moment though, Finn's hands were on either side of Rachel's face, dragging his head down so their lips could meet in a deep kiss. Rachel was so surprised by this, that she was still with shock as Finn kissed her greedily, savoring the taste of Rachel on his lips. She was finally able to respond, and instead of pushing Finn away like she should have, Rachel threw hers arms around Finn's neck, opening her mouth to let Finn's tongue into her mouth.
It was so perfect, and Rachel had missed this so much that she didn't want the moment to end. Being here in Finn's grip with his tongue searching their kiss, Rachel felt comfortable. She felt warm and wonderful and home. Finn gripped Rachel's waist, pulling her body flush against his, and Rachel could feel on her leg how much of an effect she was having on Finn. She ran her hands through Finn's hair as he moved his lips from Rachel's mouth to her neck, licking and sucking. Closing her eyes in peace, Rachel turned her neck to give Finn more space to work with, and her mind went completely blank. Rachel couldn't remember anything that was going on or what was happening; the only thing she could concentrate was Finn and his body and his lips on her skin.
He let out a small growl as his lips met hers again in a deep kiss, and something struck Rachel in the back of her mind. Shit. What was going on? What was Rachel doing? Her hands were on his chest, and with all her might, Rachel pushed Finn away from her, not wanting to stop but needing to still. Finn let go of her, falling a few steps back, watching Rachel with wide eyes as if he didn't understand what he had just done. Rachel looked at him, her eyes just as wide, trying to get a grip on what had just happened between her and Finn. Finn recovered first, and the expression on his face changed from shock to determination as he took a brave large step towards Rachel, taking hold of her small hands tightly. He just looked frustrated again.
"But I am jealous Rachel! I'm so damn jealous of Alex I don't know what to do with myself! Don't you see that?" Finn growled, shaking Rachel's hands in his. She looked at him, trying to wrap her head around all of this, her mouth slightly opened. "I like you, Rachel. I like you, like you. And I know that you like me too! Listen to me, I don't why you've suddenly brought Alex into the picture, and I don't know why you're suddenly into him, but I like you and you like me! So I don't see why we're wasting this time not together, when you and I were clearly meant for each other! Can't you see that? Dammit, why don't you see that Rachel? I just want to be with you, and I don't mean as your friend or your customer at the Dunkin' Donuts, I mean your boyfriend! I mean I want to be the guy that you love and the guy that you celebrate Valentine's Day with, and the guy that you'll find in your bed the morning and smile at and remember how lucky you are to have that guy with you! I want to be that guy for you Rachel, but you're making it so damn hard for me to be that guy because you keep bringing in these other guys!"
Finn gasped loudly after he was done talking, trying to figure out what he had just said and how much he had just admitted to Rachel. Shit, he had said a lot. And shit, Rachel was giving him that look that said she couldn't talk. Oh God, why did he say all of that? Why couldn't Finn just keep his mouth shut and smile and nod and keep all his feelings to himself like he was supposed to? Why did he have to spill all his feelings to Rachel in one shot and ruin any kind of friendship he had with her? Dammit, their friendship! Their friendship, whatever it really was, was completely wiped out with Finn's speech now. They could never be just friends again after what Finn had just admitted.
"I-I'm sorry." He stuttered out after the loudest silence in the world. Rachel was still gaping at him at a loss for words. Finn shook his head over and over again, letting go of her hands and not daring to look into Rachel's eyes. "I- I don't know where that came from. It's just that you- you make me feel these feelings, Rachel that no one has ever made me feel before. It's like when I'm with you, everything seems like it's okay. It feels like I can do anything and everything in the world is perfect, and I don't know, I just felt something really weird when I saw you with Alex, and I'm sorry. Sometimes I word vomit and I guess I just did that, and shit, I'm doing it again, aren't I?" Finn glanced up at Rachel to see that yes, he was word vomiting again, and Rachel simply watched him in silence. "My point is Rachel, my main point is, that I care about you. I like you Rachel, and I want to be with you, and I have a feeling that you want to be with me too. Please say you want to be with me too."
There; Finn was done talking now. He had said everything he had to say without thinking about how this would affect their friendship, which was dumb of him and now all Finn could do was wait for Rachel to respond. If she was going to respond at all; Rachel only kept staring at him, not finding the ability to talk. She opened her mouth a couple of times, as if she was going to say something, but then thinking better of it. Finally, Rachel spoke.
"I'm sorry, Finn. I can't handle this right now. I have to go." She said, and with those painful words hanging in the air, Rachel turned away from Finn and quickly walked the other way, her small figure disappearing down the street. Finn watched her go, his hand outstretched as if he wanted to stop her, and he tried to understand what had just happened and how badly he messed things up.