Cats and rabbits

Would reside in fancy little houses

And be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers

In a world of my own

I slowly opened my eyes, only to be blinded by the paleness of the hospital room. I blinked hazily.

All the flowers

Would have very extra-special powers

They would sit and talk to me for hours

When I'm lonely in a world of my own

I tried to move my arms up, but there were metal rings that were restraining my wrists. I leaned up and saw that I was handcuffed to the bed.

There'd be new birds

Lots of nice and friendly howdy-do birds

Everyone would have a dozen bluebirds

Within that world of my own

What happened? I tried to recall. I remembered entering the courtroom, waiting for the judge to walk in. I remembered how Barbara stood up to give her opening statement. But I had no memory of anything that happened after that.

I could listen to a babbling brook

And hear a song that I could understand

I keep wishing it could be that way

Because my world would be a Wonderland

The door of the room opened to reveal a lengthy, dark-haired man in a lab coat. He smiled at my apologetically as he walked to my bed.

"Sorry about the handcuffs… We didn't want you to try to hurt yourself again."

I lowered my eyes in shame. I tried to hurt myself?

"How long have I been here?" I asked quietly.

"About fourteen hours," he made a few notes on his clipboard. Then he lifted his gaze back up to me and said, "There are a couple of people waiting outside for you, should I let them in?"

I nodded glumly. He turned on his heels and left the room. A few moments later, the entire Glee Club, Max, Julia, Melinda, Dr. Pummle, and Brittany all walked gravely into the room.

Brittany immediately made her way to my bed and sat on its edge, leaning in to kiss me softly on the cheek. "You okay?" Her piercingly blue eyes glimmered with concern as she looked deeply into my helpless ones.

I nodded somberly. The Glee Club gathered around my bed, their eyes caring and understanding.

"How are you feeling, Santana?" Julia sat in the chair to the right of my bed.

"I'm okay," I replied gently.

"Judge Hotchkins wanted to make this trial as least painful for you as possible, so we continued a little further without you. Dr. Pummle and Julia have both already given their statements," Melinda explained. "So, when you're ready, we'll call the jury back to the court and get you on the stand so that we could get this trial over with."

I blinked anxiously as a tremor passed through my body. Brittany delicately stroked my arm. I turned my eyes to her and the question passed unsaid between us.

"I think it's better if you just get this done with as soon as possible, San," she said soothingly.

I raised my gaze back to Melinda. "Can we continue right now?"

"Yes," Melinda seemed relieved. Max stepped forward and removed the handcuffs from my wrists. I rubbed them slowly as I sat up in my bed.

Everyone except Brittany left the room so that I could get my clothes back on. She helped me out of the hospital gown and I stood completely naked before her.

She looked at me and inhaled deeply. Unable to resist the temptation, she leapt forward and embraced me in her strong arms, kissing me passionately. Her tongue cruised across my bottom lip, and I allowed her access into my starving mouth. Starving for her, starving for love, starving for sanity.

She finally pulled back and leaned her forehead on mine. "We'll get through this, okay? We'll get through this together."

She helped me back into Rachel's tailored suit and we opened the door.

The Glee Club was gone, but the detectives, Melinda, and Dr. Pummle were waiting patiently outside of the room.

"You ready?" Max said softly.

They led me down the elevator and out of the automatic glass front doors. The detectives kindly offered to drive us. Julia made sure that my seatbelt was tightly fastened on me, as if I was a four-year-old child that desperately needed some guidance. She got behind the wheel and drove us off.

The hospital turned out to be only five minutes from the court. My muscles tensed as we walked down the looming hallway once again.

Brittany leaned to me and kissed my cheek gently. "It's almost over."

This time, when I walked into the courtroom, every face, whether on the right or left side, was gazing at me with woeful sympathy. I chewed on the inside of my left cheek as Melinda led me to my seat again.

The jury filed in back to their box. We stood on our legs unanimously as Judge Hotchkins entered the court, his facial expression much kinder and more considerate than before.

"Ms. Yule, your witness?"

"I call Santana Lopez to the stand," she motioned for me to stand.

I walked shakily to the stand, which stood gloomily to the right of the judge's bench. I sat down in the wooden chair.

A blonde guard stood by me with a bible in her hand. "Place your left hand on the bible and raise your right hand." My teeth clenched tightly as I did as I was told. "Repeat after me: I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God."

My voice trembled as I repeated the line. Brittany caught my eye from the front bench and nodded encouragingly.

Melinda cleared her throat and walked to me. She asked me, slowly and deliberately, the very same questions that she had presented in her office two weeks ago. As I answered, my eyes kept darting back and forth between her and the twelve intrigued faces that peered at me from the left.

"And the rest," Melinda turned to the jury, "you've heard from detective Julia Hart." She nodded at Barbara, "Your witness."

Barbara used the table to help herself off of the chair. Her heels tapped on the floor as she made her way to me.

"Miss Lopez…" she began. "Can you please explain to us what your father did to you?"

I inhaled sharply and held the air in until my face reddened. Tears ached to depart from my eyes.

Barbara took notice in my reaction. "We'll start at the beginning. Where is your mother?"

"She's dead," I said through gritted teeth.

"How did she die?"

I raised my shoulders and cracked my neck. "Cancer."

"What happened on the night of her funeral?"

I whimpered quietly as a single tear slipped down my cheek. "My father came into my room."

"And what did he do when he came into your room?"

My breathing was shallow and unstable. "He raped me," I said inaudibly.

"Please speak a little louder, Miss Lopez."

"He raped me." Tears shamelessly gushed down my face.

"Was this the only time that he raped you?"

I shook my head.

"Please say your answers so that they can be recorded, Miss Lopez."

"No," my voice cracked.

"How often did he rape you?"

"Umm…" I looked around helplessly. "A couple times a week."

"Did he ever willingly stop raping you before he was killed?"

"No," I stared down at my anxious hands.

"Okay. What is the last thing that you remember on the night in question? Your last thought?"

I raked my brain for that final moment before my world tumbled upside down. He got out the gun, slammed the drawer, slipped the bullets in…

"I don't want to die."

Brittany cuddled me in her lap as we waited for the jury to return. Barbara and Melinda had already given their closing arguments, which I wasn't really able to pay attention to because I was swamped by panic and dread and terror. Time aimlessly ticked by as I held my breath in petrified anticipation.

Brittany quietly hummed a familiar tune above me as she caressed my hair, occasionally tucking in her chin to kiss me lightly on the head.

At last, I was told to return to my seat. The room became as soundless as a graveyard as the jury wandered back into their box. They gazed at me reassuringly.

Judge Hotchkins turned to them. "Jury, what is your verdict?"

The Foreman, a thin man in his thirties with square-rimmed glasses, rose to his feet. He unfolded a paper in his hands and read, "The jury has voted that the defendant is not guilty by reason of mental illness."

Every trace of fear was forgotten as I stared at him incredulously. Mental illness?

The judge brought down his gavel powerfully.

That's it. The trial was over. I was free.

The relief that should've swept me failed to arrive. Melinda patted my back as she stood up and walked down the aisle.

"Wait!" I ran after her. "What did he mean, not guilty by reason of mental illness? I'm not mentally ill!"

She looked at me mournfully. "Dr. Pummle?"

He appeared by my side within seconds. Melinda nodded at him, "Santana would like to know why the verdict was not guilty by reason of mental illness."

He gazed at me as if it truly hurt him to say what he was about to. "You're schizophrenic, Santana."

"I'm what?" My eyes widened in disbelief.

"You're schizophrenic. You're paranoid, you've had at least two blackouts that we know of, you hallucinate—"

"I don't!" I said defiantly. "I don't hallucinate!"

Dr. Pummle looked absolutely miserable. He raised his eyes from the ground, and said, "Your girlfriend, Brittany."

"What about her?"

His eyes squinted in pain. "She's a hallucination, Santana. Only you can see her."

I gawked at him. What the hell was he talking about? "You're lying." He tried to put a caring hand on my shoulder, but I smacked it away. "YOU'RE LYING!"

I sprinted out of the courtroom as fast as I could as hysterical tears rained down my face. I didn't stop until I came to a deserted, secluded hallway.

I fell to the ground and bawled helplessly. It couldn't… It couldn't be true…

I heard footsteps nearing my place on the floor. The comforting arms that I loved so much slipped around me, and I sobbed weakly into Brittany's shirt. "They're saying that you're not real…"

It took her a while to respond. When she finally did, her voice was unsteady and broken. "That's because I'm not, San."

"What?" I raised my puffy eyes to her.

"I'm a figment of your imagination. You made me up because you needed someone who would sympathize with you. Someone who would love you."

I wept miserably as I gaped at her beautiful and perfect face.

Never mind, I'll find someone like you…

I thought back to the day we met. How she appeared out of nowhere, already wired to be deeply in love with me. How Finn hadn't noticed her when we walked into the choir room for the first time. How easy it was for me to trust her. To give myself to her completely, body and soul.

I leaned in and desperately kissed her. What would this look like to an uninformed onlooker if he were to walk down this hallway? He would see a starved, fragile girl embraced in the invisible arms of a lost lover.

I pulled my head back. "I have to go now," Brittany said lamentably.

"Why?" I whimpered.

She brushed my cheek with a loving thumb and gazed genuinely into my eyes. "Because you need to get better."

She gently stood up and walked down the hall. I moaned quietly in agony.

When she reached the end of the hallway, she paused and turned her head back to me. Her brilliant blue eyes shone angelically under her long blonde bangs.

I had hoped you'd see my face

And that you'd be reminded that for me

It isn't over

She straightened her head forward, inhaled deeply and calmly, and disappeared around the corner.

I never saw her again.