Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Fate/stay Night characters, they all belong to Type-Moon, nor do i own the song Ambition. I only own the plot and Ayame, my first OC for this fic, which i inserted because it seemed appropriate. We'll see where she will get.

I haven't done recaps before, but i think they're useful, especially that if it will happen like this time to be so late with a chapter.

Recap: Shirou spaced out again while he and Fuji-nee, Sakura and Illya are having dinner, remembering about the night that Saber left. Fujimura and Sakura are getting worried about his strange behaviour, but he just waves them off like it's nothing. Shirou makes a vow never to let Saber's memories to fade.

Chapter 2

- Ambition -

The morning after Saber's departure, when I was walking to school with Tohsaka, I remember telling her that I know I'll eventually forget all the little details about her, such as her voice, or her smile, or maybe even her face, but I'll never forget that I once loved this girl named Saber. Now that I think about it, although I know that I was being honest, I wonder how I could accept that fact so…willingly.

Instead of being tender and understanding with my heart, time has been most difficult to face. I thought that as time went by, the pain of her leaving would gradually fade until it ceased completely. At least, that's what I hopefd. I didn't want my memories of Saber to be filled with sadness and pain; I wanted to remember her with joy and love. Instead, as time went on, every day without her seemed to be more difficult to face than the last.

When at the beginning I was walking confidently on my path, now, after a year, I was on my knees; soon I suspected them to falter under the weight and pain, forcing me to crawl to make it through the day, barely making it. How could I ever think that it was acceptable of me to forget about Saber? Forgetting her and everything about her seemed unforgivable. I knew the truth of my words – because time does fade memories – but I didn't want it to happen. I wanted to keep her alive until the day I died.

Her expression when she said "I love you" frequently haunted my mind, as it did now, while I was walking to school like every other morning. Sakura didn't join me today, she said she had archery club this morning although it was odd, since she usually had Wednesdays and Fridays and today it was Tuesday. But I didn't comment on their sudden change of schedule. So I was walking by myself, slowly making my way to the familiar spot where I would meet Tohsaka.

She and I remained friends after the Holy Grail War and now walked to school and back together, as well as spend our lunch period – that is, if Issei didn't have something else for me to fix for the Student Body, which was pretty frequent. Sometimes the thought that they were relying on me too much crossed my mind, but I didn't let it bother me. Issei and I were very good, old friends, and I didn't mind.

"Shirou!" I heard Tohsaka's voice and saw that she was already at the stop light – our meeting point. The familiar figure of my friend with long, dark hair and blue eyes, dressed in our school uniform greeted me.

"Good morning, Tohsaka," I said and gave her a swift smile that she returned. "I see that you beat me again."

"Well, if you wouldn't be sleep-walking on your way here, I'm sure you would make it faster," she raised a dark brow at me and we started walking once the light turned green.

I laughed at her remark, but didn't say anything and we walked in silence for a while, taking in the familiar scenery that I have long committed to memory: the cherry blossom trees that were blooming, the busy street that we always passed by, the many houses that were clothed in the frequent sunshine we had lately.

It was a day very much like this when I took her on our date, and though we both had a great time, I remember that that day ended in disaster. First our fight with me trying unsuccessfully to convince her to stay and forget about her royal duties and then our encounter with Gilgamesh.

"You're thinking about her again, aren't you?" Tohsaka inquired and when I looked at her, her blue eyes were unreadable.

"Can't really say I ever stopped," I said truthfully, looking away, a small smile playing on my lips.

I didn't see her, but I heard her sigh clearly and I knew she was shaking her head. "It's not healthy what you're doing, Shirou. Mourning over her the way you are," she said, and I could almost hear sadness in her voice.

I shook my head at her. She didn't understand. "I'm not mourning over her, Tohsaka," her expression clearly stated she didn't believe me, so I continued. "I don't regret my decision, not do I hold Saber's against her. I am just trying to keep her memory alive. My memories are the only things that I have left of her, I can't bear the thought of losing those too."

We were close to school by now, as we walked up the hill, the familiar building with the grounds greeted us. Tohsaka didn't say another word until we stepped into the grounds. "Shirou," she said quietly and I looked at her, not quite understanding her tone. Tohsaka looked straight ahead at the school, not meeting my eyes.

"What is it?"

"Have you thought that maybe doing so you're only making it worse?" she met my eyes, "For you?"

I frowned, but kept eye contact as if I didn't have anything to hide. "I'm not sure what you're talking about."

Her expression turned frustrated. "Don't lie. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Shirou, she's not coming back," she said rather harshly, as if I didn't know that already. I forced back a flinch at her words. "Don't you think it's time to move on?"

"I am not going to forget her, if that's what you're implying," I said and started walking away. We were already at the school doors, our parting point. My class was at the first floor on the left side of the building and Tohsaka's was on the second, right side. "I'll see you at lunch," I called out, looking at her over my shoulder. Typical Tohsaka, she was already with her back at me, and waved, not looking back.

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School was rather uneventful that day, but then again nothing almost ever happen at school that was really what one would say to be interesting. Beside the usual, with my fellow students in my English and homeroom class teasing Fuji-nee, things were normal. People were coming back into the routine of schooldays after almost two weeks spring vacation. Most people were unwilling to get up in the morning, but they forced themselves to wake up in the morning and go. Monotony settled in, for it was too early for the excitement for summer to start building up. Teachers were lecturing us about the exams that were due before summer break and I have to admit, at the mentioning of them, I woke up form the constant haze my mind was in. The exams were hard, and I haven't given them a single thought until now. But I wasn't too worried, we took those in the middle of July.

When my class heard that, a collective groan was heard and I fought the impulse to join them. Fuji-nee, my homeroom teacher and our English teacher, scolded us and said that if we have this attitude, we will get nowhere in the future and hit a brick wall.

Sometimes I felt as I already hit that brick wall, but I remained silent.

Periods came and gone, sometimes too slow, other times too fast and I felt like time was playing tricks on me again.

Lunch soon followed and I waited for Tohsaka at our usual secluded spot. More times than not, we were by ourselves, though Issei sometimes stopped by to tell me something or ask me to fix another broken item, but otherwise didn't stay with us. Issei and I used to have lunch together in the Student Body's office, but ever since I became friends with Tohsaka, that has changed. It pained me that he had such a twisted view of a girl that has become a very good friend of mine, but there was no way around it, nor there was any way of swaying him.

Although he has accepted the fact that she is my friend and not just some witch who put a spell on me like he thought she did on the rest of the male population of our school, he still didn't like being around her. Our conversations were cut short to the few times I would randomly meet him after school and his requests to fix something for the Student Body, when he would accompany me.

My thoughts continued to revolve around Issei until Tohsaka seated herself right next to me. She had a withdrawn look on her face, and I assumed it was still from our discussion form this morning. She started eating, so I let the silence settle between us, knowing very well I had nothing to apologize for.

"Have you thought about what I said this morning at all?" she asked me after a while and I looked at her in surprise. I didn't expect her to bring it up again; I thought she would just drop the subject knowing that I was adamant about it.

"I told you what I thought. There's no way of changing that," I told her in a firm tone, but underneath I was still a little confused. Why did she breach the subject again?

Tohsaka sighed. "Don't you think Saber would have a cleaner conscience if she knew that she has left no negative energy, no loose ends?"

I frowned at her, feeling an unusual pang of annoyance at her. "Is that what you think I am to Saber? Negative energy? A loose end?"

She shook her head. "You haven't been yourself after she left Shirou, and that's a negative impact her departure has had on you. You not moving on is a loose end for her. Don't you think that she would be happier if you moved on?"

"I can't know that. I can't ask her, now can I?" I said and realized as soon as I did that it was childish. I immediately felt ashamed of my words and looked at my plate of food instead of meeting her eyes.

"Shirou," she said, her tone sounding sad, and from the corner of my eye I saw her playing idly with her noodles, "I understand that forgetting her is hard for you. But maybe it would be an easier thing to do if you found somebody else."

I was confused again. Where was she going with this? "Who would you suggest?" I asked more out of mere curiosity than interest.

Tohsaka made a frustrated sound and stabbed her noodles fiercely before she took a bite. She took her time chewing, a scowl forming on her eyebrows. When she was done, she said, "Can't you think of anybody who would have a remote interest in you?" Her tone made it sound like the answer was right under my nose.

"I don't interact much with girls," I said, still confused by the turn of the subject, "except you and Sakura, who is more like a sister to me, nothing more." I didn't have very many friends, period, and least of all girls, but I didn't voice that thought.

"Well, that's your fault," Tohsaka muttered under her breath so low, I wasn't sure that was what she said.

"Sorry?"

"Nothing," she said dismissively and returned to her noodles as I did the same.

And that was the end of our conversation, mainly because Tohsaka remained silent and deep into her thoughts and I didn't want to disturb her. When lunch period was over, she walked away without saying another word. I didn't know what to make of her behavior, though she did seem genuinely concerned. Even so, meddling was not something I liked or appreciated, not even from a friend. Saying that I should forget about Saber and just find another girl almost sounded as if Saber could be very easily replaced, which wasn't true at all.

I sighed heavily, and with one more look at Tohsaka's stiff back, I made my way back to my class, which passes in a blur, as did the rest of the day. The most interesting that happened was Fuji-nee to threaten a fellow student of mine to sit balanced on his head the entire period if he didn't shut up.

Finally, after the bell rang of my final period, I found myself sighing in relief. Another day of school over. I gathered my books and notebooks quietly into my bag, although there was nobody left in the classroom to disturb except for a girl who was gathering her possessions from the floor. As I got all my stuff neatly and put my bag under my arm, I studied the girl for few seconds. She was with her back to be, so I couldn't really tell who it was.

I frowned and walked up to her. When I got closer, within a couple meters, I recognized her to be Ayame, a girl of a height shorter than me, with long dark copper hair tied in a high ponytail and grey eyes that could show more emotion than one would think. There have been a few times that I talked with her, casually, but I hardly knew her at all.

"Need some help?" I smiled. I crouched down beside her and helped her gather her loose-sheet papers. She seemed startled by my sudden appearance and her grey eyes focused on me for few second before she looked away, scrambling frantically to get all her stuff back.

"Emiya-san," she stammered slightly and when I looked at her from the corner of my eye, a small blush played on her cheeks. "I didn't know you were still here." I didn't answer, and gave her the stuff that I have gathered. We finished in a few seconds and got up at the same time. "I—I didn't close my bag tight enough and they fell," she said, as if there was a need to explain herself.

"That's all right," I replied easily and walked toward the door, waving at her while looking at her from behind my shoulder. "Have a nice day, Ayame. See you tomorrow!"

There was a very quick flash of disappointment in her eyes, so quick, I wasn't even sure I actually saw it; it was gone before I could be sure. Then they showed warmth as she smiled at me. "Bye, Emya-san."

I turned to go and walked down the now-empty school hallway. Funny how quickly the school gets from crowded to completely deserted. Walking through these hallways frequently reminded me of the fight I had against Tohsaka when she attacked me for not having Saber around me and walking around unprotected. Now that memory left me chuckling.

And just in time too, I saw Tohsaka waiting for me at the front door at the school, her face expressionless. I briefly wondered if she was going to bring up our discussion again, but she didn't. Actually, she was quiet the whole time until our parting point. I didn't bother her with more words than a mere, "See you tomorrow morning, Tohsaka!" She waved, but didn't look back. She was probably still upset at my determination, but there was no helping that.

In the silence on my way back, I let my mind wander as well as my feet to take the familiar route home. My thoughts drifted to the one person they were most preoccupied with and let the memories of her fill my mind. In that silence, I unconsciously thought of one of the things that haunted me most about her, an idea, a dream I got not long after her departure, but shook it off quickly after for the insanity of it. Such things were impossible and were mere dreams for the innocent and naïve.

I didn't give it a second thought after I got it because I knew better than to hope for the unachievable. And yet, that thought stayed with me since, ringing in my mind every time there was a moment of silence or time for me to think. It never left me in all this time, and I wondered if that was because, underneath it all, I still hoped for that dream, that vision.

I sighed and wished dreaming wasn't so difficult and painful. I frowned and thought that maybe…it didn't have to be. Do I know the answer to my question? I had a good hunch, but that's as far as I was willing to go. Was I certain of that hunch? No, I was not. Maybe it was time to put that hunch either in action or to rest. I waited a year already. How much more time was I willing to let it haunt me?

Chances of such a thing actually being possible were slim to none. But it didn't matter anymore. I should go ask Tohsaka about it. She would know for sure and give me peace of mind.

And with that thought, without a glance toward the route I was supposed to take, I turned around and ran as fast as I could the opposite direction. When I reached the stop light, I took a left, toward Tohsaka's house, all the while a small smile was playing on my lips, despite the fact that the odds were against me. The fact that I had a plan and I was putting it in action made me happy, and for once in a long time, excited of the unknown.

I made it to Tohsaka's house faster than I thought I would, but I didn't dwell on such trivial matters. I walked up to her double doors from the entrance, knocked firmly three times and waited.

Tohsaka answered the door, and she scowled at the sight of me, but there was also a flash of confusion in her blue eyes. "Shirou?" she titled her head to the side ever so slightly, "What are you doing here?"

"I'll tell you that in a second, but first," I shifted uncomfortably, "can I come in?"

The question took her by surprise. "Oh, yes, come in," she opened the door wider to let me in. The scowl was still there, but this time it only reflected confusion. She closed the door and motioned me to come with her to the living room. "Tea?" she asked.

"Yes, please."

She left the room and I took a seat on the luxurious couch, right by the chair she always sat in, both of which had the same red cushion and intricate golden frame. I placed my bag on the seat right next to me. Tohsaka returned quickly with steaming tea in one of her expensive china cups in her hand.

I took the cup and sipped the tiniest bit as she seated herself and crossed her legs. "So, what do I hold this pleasure?" she asked, and I could hear sarcasm in her voice.

Suddenly, just as I was about to tell her I felt a pang of uncertainty. She was upset as she was for me just for telling her that I didn't want to forget Saber. What will she do if I tell her this? But I couldn't dwell on that. If I couldn't tell Tohsaka, one of my best friends and the only good magus I knew, who could I tell?

"Tohsaka," I started and decided I shouldn't beat around the bush, "Is there any way, any way at all, to bring people back after they passed away?" I looked at her face closely, waiting for a strong, opposing reaction. Instead, she surprised me and merely sighed in annoyance and scowled again.

"Shirou, have you completely lost your mind?" she asked me in a tone that implied she believed so and was only asking me for confirmation. "Despite the fact that you are a mere novice in magic, you should know that there isn't any way to do that. It goes against the laws of nature."

"Are you positive?" I raised my eyebrows at her.

There was the tiniest flicker of uncertainty, but it disappeared instantly. "Yes."

"Do you know everything about magic?"

"I never said that."

"Then how can you be positive if you clearly don't know all the information involved?" I challenged.

"There are some things that are basic knowledge, Shirou," her voice turned harsh, no doubt because a "mere novice" was questioning a magus' intelligence. "If you would have even the basic education in magic, like I do, you would know that too."

"There's always an exception to the rule," I reminded, but it was no use anymore. I had my answer. Although I knew from the beginning that there was next to no chance it was possible, I still felt down about it. In my frustration, I drank the cup of tea in one gulp, something I regretted doing after I was done: the tea was hot and it now burned my throat all the way down to my stomach.

Tohsaka remained silent, and yet again, she had her annoyed expression, with her lips pursed tightly, eyes closed, and a deep scowl on her face. Even with her giving me that attitude, I wasn't about to give up just yet.

"Do you have books on magic?" I asked her.

"Yes, but I'm not going to lend them to you," she said in a firm tone, already knowing where I was going with that question. "Those books are decades, some centuries old. They're very delicate. I'd hate you to ruin them, they're property of the Tohsaka family." She shot her nose in the air and looked away.

"I want to do some research. If you won't lend me the books, how can I be sure that what I want isn't possible?" I pleaded with her.

Tohsaka sighed deeply and finally her blue eyes met mine. "Shirou, I told you that what you're doing isn't healthy. I told you I'm against you wallowing in the past, but you didn't listen. Now you actually expect me to aid you in this foolishness?"

"It's just research Tohsaka. Maybe you are right and there isn't a way to do this. If so, then I'll give up on the idea." I left the other side of the argument open for her interpretation.

She sighed again, but didn't break eye contact. "Even if, in the slightest chance, there is a way to do this, it is most likely very dangerous and next to impossible to achieve. Don't get your hopes up, Shirou. Prepare yourself for a failure, either way," she advised me. I briefly wondered if she knew anything and didn't want to tell me or she was just assuming.

"So you'll help me?"

"We will both research in the library," she nodded.

My face broke into a joyous grin, and she immediately scolded me for it. "Don't get happy already and don't get your hopes up," she warned me again. "Like I said, chances are we won't find anything. Doing the research will just prove you so."

"Thank you, Tohsaka! When do you want to start?"

She snorted. "I didn't want to start in the first place. This is your research project. When do you want to start?"

I straightened my back to think about it and just now realized I was at the very edge of my couch, unconsciously leaning forward at the tiniest trace of hope. I hooked at the grandfather's clock on the opposite wall, which was close to strike 5 P.M. Sakura usually arrived around that hour, maybe a little later to have time to prepare dinner, which we usually ate at around 6-6:30. I couldn't stay tonight, because I might be late and Sakura would worry if she arrived and I wasn't home, especially that I didn't give any warning that I would be late.

I sighed. "Well, tonight is too late. We should start someday after school, so I'll have time to do quite a bit of research and come home before Sakura does," I mused more to myself. "And we can't do it tomorrow either because I have to work. How about Thursday after school?" I looked at Tohsaka for the approval.

"Thursday after school is fine with me," she replied easily.

"Thanks a lot," I said and rose from my seat, remembering in time to take my bag. "I should go now. Sakura's going to be home soon."

Tohsaka rose from her chair too and she had an odd expression on her face that I couldn't quite pin-point. "Yes, you shouldn't let her wait," she said rather vaguely. I internally shook my head. I've been friends with Tohsaka for a little over a year and I still couldn't quite figure her out. I briefly wondered if I ever will.

I walked out of the room and toward the front door with her on my tail. "See you tomorrow!" I said as I opened the door to leave. She waved at me and closed the door.

I clutched my bag tightly as I ran back home, hoping that Sakura didn't make it there before I did. I didn't want her to worry. I looked briefly at the sky and saw that it was still sunny, not giving any signs of ending the day quite yet, typical for late spring.

I looked forward to my researching on the subject of magic, glad that there was a small flicker of hope. Even Tohsaka admitted, though grudgily, that there might be a way, though "dangerous and near impossible." But regardless of how dangerous and how impossible it would be if there is such a chance, I am willing to take it and give it my all.

A/N: I'm really sorry it took so long with this chapter. I had a bit of a trouble with a certain part here, but i think now it's all right. I didn't want to write a chapter full of fillers just so i can postpone Shirou talking with Tohsaka about his idea for later.

Ok, now that i got that out, let me say a few words about this chapter. If anybody is disappointed, i don't blame you. Really. When i got the idea, i knew it wasn't original and that so many other people out there who weren't happy with the anime ending thought of it. I just hope that my version and how the events will play out will be orginal. Which i think they will. I hope i will prove you that. Just keep reading!

I apologize for any typos or grammar errors. They're completely unintentional! I don't have a beta reader, i'm trying to do my best without one.

Also, thank you for all those who reviews and told me their thoughts about the first chapter and for all those who faved or added this story to their alert list already. It's an honor that you thought my story was worthy to be added so soon. Last, but not least, thanks for all of you who read the first chapter, even though you haven't reviewed yet! I hope you guys will like it.

Read and review please! Tell me what you guys think, any pointers on improving or comments or feedback is welcome!

Enjoy!