Disclaimer: *drumroll* I do not oooooown....Fate/stay Night-or-either-of-the-characters! Also, the song Flow of Cause and Effect belings to Kawai Kenji, the brilliant writer of the FSn soundtracks. The song The Promise belongs to Within Temptation. Ayame is mine though. lol I own her.

Recap: Shirou had just had a long talk with Tohsaka as she tried to convince him to move on, one wya or the other. Shirou stubbornly opposes and she doesn't sway him in the least. On top of that, he decided to pursue this idea he got a year ago and decided to talk with Tohsaka about any way that Saber would be able to come back. While she is against him going to such lengths about his longing, she agrees to help him. (she explains why in this chapter.

A/N: Ok, i am introducing a new POV this chapter. So. - [chapter name] - is Shirou's POV and now the ~ ~ will be in Rin's POV.

Chapter 3

~ Flow of Cause and Effect ~

I watched Shirou run through the silk curtains of my windows until I could see him no more. When I saw his figure last, I shook my head, folded my arms to my chest and scowled in his direction. Despite what he told me a year ago, when he seemed at ease with the idea of forgetting about Saber and letting his memories fade naturally, it was obvious that he has changed his mind on the aspect.

I looked back on that sunny morning, and tried to recall his expression and his tone, to try to see if he was showing any hint of hiding anything from me, but like always, I found nothing. The only explanation possible was that he had been genuinely honest when he said that. He seemed perfectly at ease and content, even happy that he had finally given up and let her go to do what she wanted to do. What has happened? What made him change his mind?

I noticed a change in him not long after that morning, and it only seemed to worsen in my point of view. He grew quieter, more reserved, and I caught him many times lost in thought and I knew right away that he was thinking about her. I had absolutely nothing against him either forgetting Saber of keeping her alive in his memory, but I didn't expect for Shirou how I knew him to change like this in the process.

I perfectly understood his longing for Saber, but I thought that it has been prolonged enough, especially that he knew she would eventually disappear after the Grail War ended. The fact that he pursued her further only made it harder upon himself. Of course, sometimes I missed Archer too, even though he has been around far less than Saber had. But in those few short weeks when I did have him around, it was pleasant. My mansion was empty, but with him around I didn't quite feel it. Suddenly, I had somebody to talk to, somebody to have tea with, even if we were constantly pressured on the dangers of the war and my eagerness to win the Grail.

After he left, my house was empty again, and I felt myself sometimes thinking of Archer. When I would, I would always curse him for being so idiotic and cocky when he fought Berserker. I was busy running away with Shirou and Saber from Ilya's clutches, therefore wasn't there to enforce the order of mere distraction on him. He went ahead and fought him until the end, until he was defeated and my Reiju disappeared.

Sometimes, despite my opposition to dwell on the past, I couldn't help not to wonder that if he hadn't been such a fool, we would've had a good chance to obtain the Grail. We would've had to fight Shirou and Saber in the end, probably after all the other Servants have been eliminated, despite what we originally planned – to make a truce only as long as Berserker was still around.

I sighed and tried not to think of the Grail War anymore. I failed. That was my first and last chance at it and I failed. That was the end of it. All I can do now is train further in magic and when the time comes, pass down the knowledge onto my descendants. That was the most important role of a magus, after all.

I looked at the window again and I could still see Shirou's figure running even though he was long gone. I couldn't believe I have actually agreed to this, but maybe it was for the best. If I didn't help him, who knows where else he would've looked for books of spells and magic, and who knows how long it would've taken him to figure out there isn't any way. If I help him, we will find out soon enough so that he won't have much time to get his hopes up.

I knew his feelings for Saber were true and honest. He told me everything, including what happened at Kotomine Church a few days after that, when I woke up from a long slumber to recover from my wounds inflicted by Kotomine himself. He told me, on my insistence, what happened, including the fact that Saber shared his feelings. Now, when I look back, I can't help not to think that if Saber hadn't told him that, it would've been much easier for him to move on. But who knows, I am only assuming.

I sighed again and went back to the living room, a place a frequently spent my time in, even by myself. I poured myself another cup of tea, sat back in my chair, crossed my legs, placed the hot china cup against the bare skin of my leg and pondered as I sipped every so often.

As far as I knew, never in history has it ever happened that a Master to fall in love with their Servant. Of course, I only had the knowledge of the past Holy Grail War, when my father was a Mater and the one beforehand, when my grandfather Tohsaka became a Master in the 3rd Holy Grail War. I don't know about the history beyond the 3rd Grail War, but still. Masters have always been too preoccupied with winning the Grail which grants whatever wish they want, not with their Servants, least of all enough to notice some qualities which may attract them.

Then again, Shirou is a unique example in a unique situation. I don't think it ever happened for a Servant to be summoned without the Master's will of doing so. More so, Shirou apparently didn't have any extraordinary magical abilities, and he still doesn't, except for Reinforcement and Projection, both of which are seen as useless on most Magi's eyes. Shirou wasn't even a real magus when he "summoned" Saber. And yet, he succeeded in having the Servant class that is seen as the most outstanding. Beside that, because Shirou's foster father, Kiritsugu, didn't pass down his knowledge in magic and the Holy Grail War – that he participated in – Shirou was left completely in the dark. He didn't even know what the Grail War was, let alone was Saber really was, or the fact that he didn't need to protect her, as he did so many times.

I never understood the true nature of the Grail, although I knew very well that my family was one of the few who took part in forming the Grail as we know it, few centuries before.

Shirou's situation was curious, and I was just as eager to find out more as I was opposed to him mourning over a person who was never alive – at least a year ago – to begin with.

I sighed and, almost forgetting about my cup of tea, I took another sip. It was still hot and I was grateful. Besides bad or cheap tea, the next worst thing is cold tea.

- The Promise -

I arrived home just in time. At least in my opinion. Ilya was just about to disagree.

"Where were you, Onii-san?" she pouted.

"I'm sorry, Ilya, I went to Tohsaka's for a little while," I explained and hoped she wouldn't ask my.

"What for?" against my better wishes, she asked.

"I—I had to talk some stuff with her," I said lamely.

"What stuff?" she pressed on.

"For—" I was interrupted just in time when I heard a knock on the door. It was Sakura, and she had two bags of fresh groceries in her hands as she smiled warmly at me.

"Hello, Sakura," I said, grateful that she'd come to my rescue and then noticed the two paper bags in her hands. I frowned. "You shouldn't have done that. I feel bad enough that you come here almost every morning and evening to cook, now you're going to spend your money on the food too?" I scolded her and immediately took the bags from her hands.

"It's all right, Senpai, I don't mind," she said, as if I didn't already know that.

"I know you don't mind, that's partly the problem," I said, but couldn't help not to smile at her innocent expression. "What's for dinner?" I changed the subject.

Sakura smiled. "Rei-shabu."

"Oh no, Fuji-nee's favorite," I groaned in mock resignation, "I'll hardly eat tonight." Without another word I took the grocery bags to the counter and open up the fridge to peer inside. "Good thing I have some left-overs from yesterday. Hard to believe, huh?" I grinned at her and she giggled.

"Don't change the subject, Onii-chan!" she raised her shrill voice in annoyance that I have forgotten about her, or at least tried to. "What were you doing as Tohsaka's?"

Before I could explain myself, or even try to come up with a good lie, Sakura joined in too. "You were at Tohsaka-san?" she looked a bit afraid, almost like when Fuji-nee implied I was stashing girls in my house.

"Yes, we're working on a researchf project together," I said, and I just realized that wasn't even a lie. That immediately made me feel better.

"But aren't you two in different classes?" Sakura asked and I almost forgot about that.

"Yes, but Miori-sensei assigned it for both classes and we thought we should work together," I said, knowing that Sakura didn't have Miori-sensei for a teacher. I knew I had to lie my way out to Sakura, but I wasn't sure myself why I didn't want Ilya to know either. The instinct to lie at her question was automatic, I didn't oppose it.

Sakura seemed happy with that answer, though she still looked a bit worried. Ilya on the other hand, didn't look convinced. Maybe school in Germany, where she came from, was different, so she didn't understand how things worked in Japan.

I quickly and subtly tried to change the subject before I was asked any more quefstions on the matter. "Will you help me set the table, Ilya?"

And just like an easily distracted child, she immediately brightened up and said, "Sure!"

——————————

Dinner was a lot less quiet tonight. Fuji-nee had a good day at school, she was happy that her lecture went on without a single student playing a prank on her, whether physical or verbal. Now she was giddy that Sakura made her favorite dish and she was rambling about this being a perfect way to end the day. Luckily, Sakura made some sushi and meatballs with noodles on the side for the rest of us, knowing that there won't be any Rei-shabu left when Fuji-nee was done, nor will she let anybody take more than a bite – except Sakura, but only because she was the cook.

As we were gathering the empty dishes and bowl, I suddenly remembered something. "Sakura, I won't be here tomorrow for dinner," I told her.

"Oh! I won't be able to make it for breakfast, I have archery club," she looked sad at the thought.

"Oh right, tomorrow is Wednesday. I won't be seeing you tomorrow at all then," I said and she shook her head. I patted her shoulder after I set the dishes on the counter by the sink. "But I'll see you Thursday morning," I smiled and she nodded.

"Aw, I'll have to go out and eat," Fuji-nee groaned. Sakura didn't come to cook on the days that I was working because she liked us all to be together at dinner.

"Fuji-nee, you really should start learning at least the basics for cooking. You rely on Sakura too much."

"Nonsense, Sakura loves to cook, don't you Sakura?" she asked her and my friend nodded. Sakura was just too good a person.

When we got the table in order and everything was clean except for the dishes, she and Fuji-nee went on their way. After they left, I occupied myself with the dishes and Ilya went to watch TV in her room. I put it there soon after she moved in, because the only other TV we had in the house was in the dining room.

Soon after I finished, I went to bed, despite the fact that it was still early for me. I was looking forward to researching with Tohsaka, although I knew I was too eager for something that was very slim of happening, but I didn't care.

I sighed, folded my arms beneath my head on my pillow and closed my eyes. My last thought was, Come what may.

——————————

The days passed slowly, unnaturally slow, but that might be because I couldn't wait for it to be over and go to Tohsaka's and finally start on the research. Yesterday was even worse. I frowned and shook my head. When was the last time I let impatience get the best of me? I looked back and I couldn't pinpoint on the memory, which meant that I either forgot or it never happened. Until now.

When the bell rang, I walked a lot faster than usual to the door and I made it there quicker than most people in my class, despite the fact that my seat was pretty far from the door. As I did, I could've sworn I heard Ayame call my name, but I couldn't be sure. It was too noisy in the room and I was too much in a hurry to notice even if she did. All I hope is that I haven't hurt her feelings with my carelessness.

I walked until our usual meeting point and waited, because for once in a long time, I got there before Tohsaka did. She noted the difference too, once she arrived and started to leave the school grounds.

"You finally woke up and came directly here, huh?" she said her blue eyes were mocking.

"No, I hurried," I corrected, grinning.

"So you're still asleep, then?" she raised a brow at me.

"I haven't felt this awake and alert in a while."

"Good. You'll need your entire attention-span today," she looked away.

The rest of the way we were both silent, too wrapped up in our thoughts to even think of beginning another conversation. The surroundings were peaceful, and there weren't very many cars on the street either – it was too early for rush our and most students either walked home or used the public transportation system. The silence and peace was the perfect environment for me to think and to set my thought in order for at least an hour and a half or hard reading from books that were decades old, maybe even more than that.

I mused on what those books could have to say. Surely they aren't all mere literature books because as far as I could assume from what she told me, the entire Tohsaka family is a family of magi, descending back for centuries. Other than her family, I only knew of the Einzbern family, mainly because Ilya talked about her lineage with pride a lot. Now that I thought about it, I just realized that despite that, she never mentioned her direct parents at all, and I wondered why that was. Were they both still in Germany? Or were they—

"We're here," said Tohsaka rather unnecessarily.

"I may be lost in my thoughts, but that doesn't mean I can't see where I'm going," I frowned at her, but she responded with a mock innocent smile.

"I was just making sure so that you won't walk head-first into the pillar," she said and could've fooled me with her concerned tone if I wouldn't know her so well. I decided not to comment on her mocking and let her lead the way into her house. I may have been there many times, but it's still rude to go first if it's not my own residence.

Instead of walking toward the living room, like always, she took the stairs on the left side of the entrance hall. The library was directly upstairs, but it didn't have a room of its own – it was a wide, open space that took the entire left side of the floor. On the edge it had the same wood railing that was on the right side of the staircase, and because it was open, we could see the entire ground floor from where we were sitting. Along the railing there were scattered round cherry-wood tables, each with their own pair of chairs. We didn't stop at the tables as Tohsaka went deeper into the library.

Now that I took my eyes off the beautifully decorated house, I saw the many columns of books, each one of them stacked fully – there was no empty space to be seen. I didn't count how many columns there were, but by mere size, I would think there were at least 15 columns of books, every one of them having perhaps hundreds of books each. I almost bumped into Tohsaka when she stopped, and I was grateful I didn't, especially after her previous comment.

She stopped in front of a big cherry-wood desk with carvings on the edge of it that looked like symbols in another language. I didn't ask what they meant.

Tohsaka touched the desk lightly with her fingertips, tracing the carvings. "This used to be my father's desk, and his father before him," she said and she seemed to looking at something far away. Her words surprised me, Tohsaka rarely talked about her family.

"Used to?" I prompted, genuinely curious.

She nodded. "He died close to the end of the 4th Holy Grail War."

"I'm sorry," I said, not knowing what else to say to that.

"He was a great magus," she said, almost as if that made up for his death. Then, as abruptly as she started the subject, she ended it. "There are five full columns here that are dedicated to magic," she said and her expression changed to something I recognized: determination.

"Only five?" I couldn't help not to ask.

Tohsaka nodded again. "Magic is still a very mysterious subject to even the oldest magi families. There are a lot of things that we still don't know, not to mention that are many things that have been lost in history and might never resurface again," she said seriously. "These five here," she motioned to the 5 columns full of books that were closest to the desk, "are about magic, anything and everything that was ever discovered about it. The Tohsaka family kept all the records about any discovery related to that subject, having a secret desire for generations to become the greatest family of magi. If we don't find your answer here, it is highly unlikely that you will find it anywhere else."

I nodded, understanding. I was going to walk up to one of the columns to look through the books, but Tohsaka stepped in front of me. "Shirou, I want you to promise me that you won't pursue this dream of yours if we don't find the answer here," she said, her tone solemn.

I nodded again, but when I made a step to the side, she stood her ground. "Promise me," she repeated.

"I promise," I said and she moved away. I wasn't going to betray her trust or break my promise, not that I had anywhere else to look for answers anyway. I went through the first column and looked at some of the titles that might indicate any useful information, Ancient Magecraft, Craving the Unknown, Glory of the Grail.

"How many of these have you read?" I asked Tohsaka curiously.

"From two to three hundred of them," she answered idly from an adjacent column. "I can't remember all the names of the books that I've read, but if you tell me the title chances are I can remember whether I read it or not. I can tell you for sure that in neither one of them I found anything remotely close to what you're looking for," she said and I signed as I continued to look. Famous Magi of History, Stories and Secrets, Teachings of Magic.

I took the first book I looked at, having used Magecraft instead of Magic, which drew my attention. "Have you read Ancient Magecraft?"

"No, I didn't. I wasn't interested in Magecraft, but in Magic, so I never gave the book a second glance," she said, and I decided to try it.

"What's the difference between Magecraft and Magic?" asked, studying the old binding of the books and feared that if I didn't treat it gently, it would crumple in my hands.

"Magic is a real miracle that a magus creates. Magecraft is an artificial miracle," she answered and I nodded, although she couldn't see me.

I walked up to the desk, then hesitated. After thinking about it for less than a second, I changed my mind and went to one of the small round tables by the railing and started reading. I didn't read it thorough, only the sections and chapters that had any indication of helping me. Despite the fact that I didn't find anything useful for what I was looking for, it was still very interesting. I was so engrossed in it, I didn't even notice Tohsaka took a seat opposite of me and started reading.

I read about Thaumaturgy and what it entailed with interest, having little to no basic information of magic at all what so ever. I didn't know how much time has passed, but I continued reading regardless. Then I came across an unfamiliar term that wasn't explained in the book. I reread the sentence in my mind. Thaumaturgy draws its energy from Akasha.

"Tohaka," I frowned, "What is Akasha?"

She didn't look up from her book, her blue eyes still tracing the line she was reading as she answered. "Akasha is what common-folk call Heaven, but it's a lot more complex than that. It's the source from where all souls originate from and where all souls go back to after their passing."

Something swelled up inside me when I realized the meaning of it. "Saber is in Akasha, right?"

Tohsaka nodded and met my eyes. "Saber, like many other Servants that participated in the Grail Wars, being a Heroic Spirit, is most likely in the Throne of Heroes, a reserved part of Akasha."

I continued to read further, hoping there would be more information on Akasha, but found nothing as it continued to discuss Thaumaturgy. I looked over at the index of the book, but found nothing about Akasha.

I looked endlessly for something that seemed to touch on Akasha at all through the titles of the books, but found nothing. I picked up a book that was called The World and Beyond, but as I skimmed through it, I was disappointed to find out that it only touched at the "world" part and hardly beyond. Just when I saw the word Akasha in the passing, I heard Tohsaka's voice "Shouldn't you be home by five?"

"What time is it?" my brows furrowed, but I didn't look up form my book. Surely it's not time to go yet. I hardly found out anything at all.

"Ten after five," she answered and I immediately panicked. Not only have I forgotten to tell Ilya I would be home later, but Sakura would be home any minute, if she wasn't there already.

"I have to go," I said automatically. "Can I leave this here?" I asked her as I placed the book on our table cautiously.

"Will you remember tomorrow or whenever you will be done with it where you found it?" Tohsaka asked me, raising a brow at me.

"Probably not…" I trailed off a little uncertainly.

"I thought so," she said and although I couldn't see her face, I knew she was smiling her peculiar smile. "Then put it back where you found it and look for it tomorrow," her tone sounded like an order and I was quick to obey. I didn't want to get her mad at me in any way in case she would change her mind about helping me.

"See you tomorrow, Tohsaka," I called to her as I ran down the stairs. I didn't wait to see if she would answer or not. I ran all the way home, hoping Sakura wasn't there yet or she would be worried by my absence. I didn't tell either her nor to Ilya how often I would meet with Tohsaka for this research project.

I didn't know how long it would take in the first place, but all I knew was that it didn't matter in the least.

A/N: i hope you guys liked this chapter. I know i did, mainly for the Magic info inserts and such. I read a lot of cool stuff on Type-Moon Wiki that will help me immensely with this fanfic. It would never have been possible without that website.(to do it right)

Rin's POV is pretty short, but i think i give a pretty good insight of her thought and her personality. Also, i didn't add a lot of new information on what Shirou read, because i don't want this to sound like a textbook on Magic (although that would be pretty cool...but this is not what this fanfic is about). He only asks what he doesn't know or isn't explained in the book. There will be more snippets of Magic stuff later, trust me. And more of Tohsaka too.

I feel bad i didn't comment on this last chapter, when i should have, but i was in such a hurry to post it, i forgot. I apologize. This is a response to Chris, who wrote me an annonymous review:

Thank you for the praise and i'm really glad you think everyone is in-character. This is one of the things that i find most important in fanfiction, so i try real hard to keep the characters the way they are. I hope you will enjoy the rest too!

Also, thank you for those who reviewed on my story and added it to their faves and alerts. It's awesome that you guys want to know what will happen next. It's still somehwta of a mystery to me too. I mean, i know what will happen, but i'm not sure how yet. :D

Again, read and review!