Report to the Board of Governors, Hogwarts School of Magic, for 1984-85.
Potions — Severus Snape
… and despite the nasty accident caused by Alasdair Maddock attempting to mix a bottle of "New Coke" with his Wit Sharpening Potion, Severus still managed produce yet another crop of well-educated young students. Those leaving this year have had the benefit of four years of Severus's tuition, and it shows in the high number of NEWTS awarded in Potions.
Muggle Potions and compounds have been banned henceforth.
Severus continues to garner accusations of discrimination against students from the other Houses. However, as Hufflepuff managed to take the House Cup after a surprising win in the Quidditch tournament, it is difficult to determine the veracity of the reports.
Excerpt from the diary of Severus Snape, August 1985
And now thanks to that nitwit and his "brilliant" idea, I'll have to smuggle my own supplies of Irn Bru in. "New Coke" indeed. No wonder it failed. The only thing that stuff was good for was cleaning cauldrons.
Another crop of idiot first years — including another Weasley. Who once more regards me as if I was the Dark Lord incarnate. So long as they don't try anything...
Am glad I skipped Christmas in London last year. One more chorus of "Do They Know It's Christmas" and I would have hexed the entirety of Picadilly Circus. At least staying in Hogwarts kept me away from "We Are the World". For such small things we are grateful.
Worst moment: Peeves slipping hair remover into my shampoo and I didn't notice until the next day. Thank goodness for illusions.
Best moment: Peeves. In a bottle. On my shelf. For a week.
Second worst moment: Albus making me release the pipsqueak.