Amanda quickly wiped the tears from her eyes before turning around to greet Jamie. She threw her arms around him and held him tightly. The boys were growing quickly and would soon be men, but in her eyes, they would always be her babies. Thoughts of how Jamie and Philip might react to her news of working for the agency flooded Amanda's mind and made her feel sick to her stomach. She had hated lying to the boys all these years. Now, all the lying was to come to an end. She didn't know what she would do if the realization of the lies changed her relationship with her sons for the worse. Panic began to swirl in her head.
"Mom…MOM! You're hurting me! Stop squeezing me so tight!" Jamie uttered trying to pull free of Amanda's bear hug.
Amanda released Jamie and stepped back. "Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry! I just missed you and Philip so much this weekend. I am happy you are home."
"Mom, are you crying?"
Amanda wiped her eyes again and tried to hide the fact that she had indeed been crying for quite some time now. She quickly tried to think of an excuse.
"Oh, I guess I am! You know I get hormonal these days with the pregnancy and all! I am so glad that you and your brother are home."
"I missed you, too, Mom" Jamie said as he reached into the cookie jar.
"Hey! Worm-brain! Get me a cookie, too!" Philip demanded as he bound down the stairs into the family room.
Lee lightly tapped Philip on the back of the head. "Hey! What did I tell ya about calling Jamie worm-brain?"
Philip started to grin. "Sorry…..over here! Toss me the cookie!"
Jamie tossed Philip one of Amanda's chocolate chip cookies. The two of them sat on the couch and turned on the TV. Lee walked into the kitchen to help Amanda.
"What did you say to them?"
"I told them that we wanted to have a family chat and would they please come downstairs."
"Did they say anything about the agency?"
"No, but they did ask what we were all yelling about down here."
Amanda let out a heavy sigh and covered her face with her hands. "Oh, Lee! I don't want to do this!" she said in hushed tones. "How will I ever get them to trust me again once they hear how long I have been keeping this a secret?"
"Amanda…you don't know that that will even be an issue. You thought Dotty would take it badly, too and look how she reacted! Hell, she even wanted us to give her an assignment! We just need to sit down with them and be honest. I am sure they have questions and I think we will all feel better once it is out in the open."
Amanda slowly nodded as the stirred the cocoa.
"Philip! Stop it!" Jamie shouted as Philip continued to toss the basketball into the air and bounce it off Jamie's shoulder.
"What! It was an accident!"
"5 times! It was an accident 5 times!"
Jamie punched Philip in the arm. Lee walked over to the couch and snatched the basketball out of the air after Philip tossed it again.
"No ball in the house! And Jamie, don't punch your brother! Now go grab your cocoa from your mother and come back and have a seat."
Lee looked over at Amanda who looked like she was going to be sick at any moment. He gave her a smile and a wink that said it was going to be ok. Amanda plopped the marshmallows into the cocoa making sure that each of the boys had exactly the same number, lest there be something else for them to argue about. Philip grabbed two more cookies and handed one to Jamie before they claimed their seats on the couch. Amanda carried in a mug to Lee and took a seat in the chair opposite the boys. Lee pulled his chair over next to her.
"So, what's up, mom", Philip asked with a mouth full of cookie.
Amanda sharply exhaled and wrung her hands together. She looked over at Lee who gave her an encouraging nod.
"Well, fellas….Lee and I have something to talk to you about and well, it might be hard for you to understand."
Amanda sat in silence for a moment trying to make the words come out but they were stuck in a big lump in her throat.
Philip and Jamie looked at each other, confused by Amanda's silence. "Mom….are you ok? Are you sick or something?" Jamie asked with extreme worry in his voice.
"No, no…..your mother is not sick. No one is sick." Lee quickly answered.
Jamie looked at Lee with concern. "Are…..are you leaving us? Are you moving out like our dad did?"
Lee was shocked at Jamie's question. "What? No..NO! I am not leaving!"
"Then what is it? Mom? You are scaring us. Just tell us!"
Jamie was always very sensitive to Amanda's moods. It was very obvious that she was very troubled and had some bad news to deliver to them. Amanda once again looked at the boys and began to speak.
"Fellas…..we need to tell you something about Lee and I…..something that may be shocking to you. It is something that I have been dreading to tell you about for a very long time and I am not sure what the best way to say it is….so I guess…"
"Is it about the fact that you two are spies?" Philip suddenly interjected. Jamie froze in his seat mid bite of his cookie. Philip stared at Lee and Amanda awaiting their answer.
Amanda gasped as her eyes grew wide as saucers. Lee's jaw dropped as he flopped back into his chair.
"Philip! I…" Amanda began as she stammered over her words.
"It's ok, Mom. Jamie and I have suspected it for some time now and Dad talked to us about it a few weeks ago."
"A few weeks ago?" Lee's angry and boisterous voice echoed through the room. "He told you this a few WEEKS ago?"
"Boys, why didn't you talk to us about this?"
"Mom, is it true? Are you and Lee spies?" Jamie sheepishly asked.
Amanda looked at her youngest as he sat on the couch across from her. The time had come…..
"Yes…yes Jamie. Lee and I are spies."
"Yea! See Jamie! I told you I was right! They ARE spies!"
"But we don't really like that word, son. Intelligence operatives!"
"Lee! Not now!" Amanda cut him off as she shot him a look that could kill. "Philip…Jamie…I know that this is probably shocking and difficult to understand. We want to answer any questions that you might have and explain to you what it is that we do."
The boys settled back into the couch and listened to what Lee and Amanda had to say.
"I have dreaded this day for a long time. Part of me hoped that you would never have to know. You two were so young when I began working for the agency. You were too young to understand and it could have been dangerous for you to know. Your grandmother didn't even know until a few months ago."
"We have had a feeling now for a while, Mom." Jamie said almost reassuringly.
"Yeah, when you were in your car accident, mom, and dad made some phone calls and ordered a bunch of different people to go out looking for you…well it didn't sound like he was talking to people at a film company! There have been lots of other little things too." Philip sat for a moment and thought about the confirmation that was just given to him then began to ask some questions of his own. "Mom, do you shoot people?"
"No….Philip. I have never shot anyone and I hope to never shoot anyone."
"Have you shot anyone, Dad?"
"I…uh…"
"I know you carry a gun. I saw it under your jacket a few times when you and mom first started dating." Philip stated matter of factly.
Lee looked at Amanda unsure of what to say.
"It's ok sweetheart, you can talk to them about it."
"Ah…ok. Yes, I do carry a gun and yes I have shot people. It is an unfortunate part of the job."
The silence among them hung thickly in the air for a few moments.
"Uh, anyway fellas, I started working for the agency on a part time basis about 5-years ago. I wasn't even sure day to day if I was going to be coming back to do any more jobs for them. It started out as some clerical work and some simple assignments and eventually I was promoted to a full-time agent."
Jamie's face had a thousand questions written across it. Amanda had trouble reading if he was upset or was just processing it all. Philip seemed excited by the whole thing.
Sensing the uneasiness in the room, Lee began to talk. "You know, your mom is pretty amazing at her job. She has helped to keep this country safe and has taken down some of the worst enemies of the US that there are. You should be really proud of her."
Jamie looked at Amanda. "Mom…..why didn't you ever tell us?"
"Oh, sweetheart….I have wanted to tell you a million times….and a part of me never wanted you to know. I didn't tell you at first because you were so small when this al began. And then the more I got involved with the agency, the more dangerous it was for you if you knew your mom was a spy but didn't comprehend exactly what that meant. Now, Lee and I agree that you are old enough to handle knowing."
"I think it's cool!" Philip said in an almost gleeful tone! "Just like James Bond!"
Lee smirked. "It's not exactly like James Bond, Philip. We don't get those cool gagets!"
"Isn't being a spy dangerous?"
"Well, yes Jamie, it can be dangerous and we have been in some dangerous situations. But we are trained to know what to do in all kinds of situations. And now that I am expecting a baby, I am not allowed to go out into the field so most of what I do right now is desk work. And Lee is not out in the field as much as he used to be either."
"What is it that you do exactly?"
Amanda looked at Lee for help on how to answer this question. Lee quickly ran his hands through his hair.
"Well, guys…the truth is that we do a lot of different things. Sometimes we help people who are in big trouble, sometimes we protect some of the secrets our country has, other times we stop people that are trying to hurt other people. But bottom line is that your mother and I work very hard every day to help make the world a better and safer place. It is a hard job but thankfully, we are very good at it."
"Tell me and Jamie about your worst case!" Philip sat on the edge of his seat awaiting the details of his mother's spy adventures.
"Sorry, champ! We can't discuss the details of our cases. And honestly, the less you know the better!"
"Aww! Come on, Dad! Tell us about something you have done!"
Lee shook his head. "Sorry, no can do! Most of what we do is classified and it's safer if you don't know."
"Mom? Does this mean we are in danger now?" Jamie asked with a worried look on his face.
"No, sweetheart. You are no more in danger now than you were ten minutes ago. It's just that…..you…..you can't talk to anyone about what it is we do. This information is not to share with your friends and really not even talk to about with your father. And I am so mad at him for not telling me that you two had questions. It should have been me to talk to you about this, not your father. Joe knows that we work for the agency but he doesn't know much beyond that. If there is anything that he needs to know, trust me, boys, we will tell him. But you guys shouldn't talk about it."
"Well why not, mom?" Philip wanted to know.
Amanda looked at Lee before she answered Philip. "Because, you never know who might be around and over hear you. If there is one thing I have learned while working for the agency is that there are ears and eyes everywhere and there might be someone that would want to hurt you if they knew their parents were spies."
Jamie hugged the couch throw pillow tight. Philip sat back on the couch, the excited look gone from his face.
"Guys, we're not trying to scare you but rather tell you the truth and let you know what the reality can be. This family is the most important thing for your mother and me and we will do everything in our power to keep you safe." Lee said reassuringly.
Jamie looked up from hugging his pillow. "Mom, can we not talk about this anymore?"
Amanda got up from the couch, kneeled in front of the couch and hugged Jamie and Philip tightly. "Oh course we can stop talking about this now. I love you two more than anything in the whole world." She sat back on her heels and continued to talk to them. "I just want you to know that I never ever wanted to lie to you and I hope that you understand why I had to."
"We get it, mom. I just…..I just need some time to think about all this. Is that ok?" Jamie asked.
"Of course. But I just want to tell you two one more thing. I am sure that you both are going to have questions about all of this so tomorrow night I want to have another talk with the four of us and you two can ask us any questions that you want to, ok?"
"OK, mom."
"Philip? Is that ok with you, too?"
"Yeah mom, that's cool."
"Ok, you two run up stairs and get ready for bed. School tomorrow."
Amanda remained kneeling on the floor as Jamie and Philip ran up to their room. As soon as they were out of ear shot, Amanda put her face in her hands and let out a soft sob. Lee quickly crossed the room to her side and helped her up off the floor. Holding her close to him, he rubbed her back and let her cry releasing the angst of the evening. Without letting her go, he began to softly speak to her.
"That went a lot better than you thought it would, didn't it?"
Amanda nodded her head as it rested on Lee's chest.
"You have two pretty amazing boys there, you know that?"
Amanda shook her head no.
"No? What do you mean no?"
Amanda lifted her head and looked at Lee.
"We. WE have two amazing boys."
Lee smiled and let out a small laugh. "Ok, we!"
Amanda placed her head back on Lee's chest. Lee squeezed her closer.
"You know, Amanda? At one point tonight, I thought you were going to deck Joe. Is it wrong that I was kind of hoping you would?" Lee chuckled.
Amanda stepped back from Lee and held his hands in hers.
"He endangered my children and that is not ok. Don't ever get between a mother and her children, There is nothing I won't do to protect them."
Lee kissed Amanda's hands. "This…I know to be true….You said you have a light day tomorrow, right?"
Amanda nodded.
"Why don't you stay home and rest?"
"No. No…I have put off those defection interviews long enough. I just want to get them over with. But I will tell you what…..if I get done early, I promise that I will come home early and take a nap. How about that?"
"Sounds like a plan. Come on, let's go to bed."
SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK SMK
"Mama? Don't forget that we have our interview tomorrow with the agency."
"Trust me, Natasha, I will not forget. I have waited a very long time to see Lee Stetson again. It will be a reunion he will not soon forget."
To be continued….