Report to the Board of Governors, Hogwarts School of Magic, for 1987-88.
Potions — Severus Snape
… and another set of well-trained students headed out with excellent Potions results. The NEWTS students this year have been exclusively trained by Professor Snape, and the results prove this.
Slytherin have taken the Quidditch Cup for the third year running, showing that in addition to his Potions abilities, Professor Snape also has an excellent eye for putting a team together. His diligence in this area shows itself with the quality of the players being snapped up by professional teams once they leave the school. Whilst not a player himself, Professor Snape obviously has quite a knack in selecting a team Captain who knows his game.
Finally, Professor Snape is to be commended for his diligence in the investigation of the strange happenings of January 30, when several students were mysteriously turned into cats while they were holding a Musical Society meeting in the dungeons. Thruston, Crumb, Wintringham, Barbary, Tremlett, McCormack-Duke and Wagtail were restored to their normal forms within a week, and had no memory of the event. No further incidents were recorded, but although Professor Snape was unable to find out who was responsible, his joking suggestions of disbanding the Musical Society or relocating it to the Shrieking Shack were an excellent antidote to the seriousness of the situation.
Excerpt from the diary of Severus Snape, August 1988
Oh sweet Merlin why am I given such a half-measure of competence. If they have a brain in their heads, they have the dexterity of an inebriated slug. If they can catch and fly, their brains rival a bowl of cold porridge. It's going to take so much work just to get Flint through the next few years — all for a few green ribbons on the Cup.
I'll do it.
I can't believe how different Weasley Tertius is — won't be catching him losing House points in a hurry. Although his scratty little rat just accentuates the rest of his ensemble — worn robes, second-hand cloaks. (*** this section struck out ***Hate that so much from my own days hated being not dressed properly and being picked on for it why isn't he the little git is he doing it just to remind me?***) Destined for a career as a second-class civil servant, no doubt.
Albus has taken to encouraging the musical curriculum — in my dungeons. Why? WHY? A wizard can't get a quiet evening to himself (*** this section struck out ** getting drunk on her birthday like I wanted to***) with that caterwauling and banshee-screaming down in the dungeons. I don't know what Barbary thinks he and his friends will be doing when they leave school. They'll certainly never be invited back. Alas that my little effort to render them less nauseating backfired badly — luckily the Board never found out about my attempt. Although they — the Board - didn't seem to take my suggestions about moving the delinquents into the Shrieking Shack at all seriously. Why is it that people think that the dungeons is the best place to do anything horrid, noisy or smelly? I suspect Wagtail is the ringleader — once he goes, they'll stop. Please.
Best moment: The look on that smug bastard Heathcote's face when I turned him into a scruffy ginger. No — best moment was when he realised he was a neutered tom.
Worst moment: Being only halfway through the Firewhiskey bottle when I cast the spell. If I had managed to drink all of it before they started playing they would have been newts. And I needed newts for the next week's lessons.