Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Type-Moon characters, and i still haven't married Chad Kroeger, so i still don't have any part of his stuff.

Chapter 9

- Into the Night –

The phrase 'Time flies when you're having fun' is true. However, the inverse can be claimed to be true as well. The last week was irrefutable proof of this fact.

Issei took my advice and started having lunch with us, though it didn't go as smoothly as I hoped. Although Tohsaka let him stay at our table, she acted as if he was hardly worth her attention. If he spoke directly to her, she would give him a curt reply and then continue the conversation she was having with me as if he hadn't even spoken.

I knew why she was doing this - it was for all the things he had said about her in the past. Though she pretended they didn't affect her, her attitude the next day proved that they had hurt her at least slightly. Either that or it was her way of getting revenge. By the end of lunch, when we separated, Issei looked as down as I've seen him in a long time. The rest of the week wasn't much better, and I don't think that I was imagining the growing tension between my two friends. I felt it especially strongly from Tohsaka, who acted as if she was constantly bothered by some irksome fly.

Aside from that, the weather report announced a high chance of thunderstorms, so we had to put our amusement park plans on hold. Ilya was especially disappointed when she saw that, but I assured her we would still go, on a nice, sunny Sunday. As it was the middle of May, nice, sunny days were not uncommon. Ilya, reassured, smiled at me with an energetic nod, her good mood already restored.

When I saw the report though, I called Neko-san to tell her that our trip has been postponed and that I will be coming to work on Saturday.

"Emi-yan, you can't be serious!" she told me, "You're going to walk all that way here in the rain? You'll catch a cold! There's no way I'm letting you come this Saturday!" She sounded pretty firm. I protested, but she would hear none of it. Therefore, I was forced to accept her ruling and stay home that day.

And this is where I was now - at home, in my room, sitting on the floor, staring out the window, watching the pouring rain, strikes of lightning, and counting off the seconds between the roar of thunder that followed; I let my mind wander as I lost myself in the strange patterns the trails of water on the window made as the downpour showed no signs of letting up. I sighed, and rested my chin on my palm as I sunk deeper and deeper into my reverie.

Saber…How is the after-life treating you? Is the Throne of Heroes as wonderful as they say in books? I read that the Throne of Heroes befits any and all of its souls to the most appealing environment to them. I wondered what Saber's would be like. I wondered if she thought of me at all. Did she regret her decision? Was she as convinced as before that it was for the best? Did her feelings for me change at all?

I looked up at the gloomy sky and the rain splattering my window thinking I couldn't get more desolate than this. I tried to smile though and reason that the weather was the reason behind it.

——————————

That following week, it seemed as if Ayame wasn't satisfied with Sakura's answer, so she decided to pursue me on her own. She cornered me one day after school and, with a determination that I haven't seen in her eyes before, said, "Emiya-san, why haven't you rejoined archery club yet?"

At the time, I was still putting my stuff away in my bag, so her sudden appearance as well as her slightly louder voice startled me. "Because I don't think I have what it takes anymore," I answered honestly.

"You should let the captain decide your level," she said, and her voice sounded like it had somewhat of an edge. As if just realizing it, her face as well as her tone softened. "Mitsuzuri said you were one of the best they ever had."

"'Was' is the key word," I pointed out.

"Your shoulder has been long healed, though I'm sure that incident didn't take away your talent." I didn't say anything, mainly because I didn't know what I could say to that. I haven't practiced much at all and the last time I wielded a bow and arrow was during the Grail War, which was more than a year ago. "Sakura tells us you were the best," she continued.

"I'm not nearly as good at her," I countered back.

"Not many people are," she agreed, "that's why I chose her as my co-captain. But we still need some new talent. Or, better yet, some old talent," she smiled slightly.

I shifted uncomfortably in my place and decided it was safe not to answer so I made a deliberate step forward, not necessarily towards her but towards the door. When I saw that she didn't have any intention of stopping me, I gathered my things and began to leave. I could feel her eyes staring at me the whole time, disappointment mixed with something else I couldn't identify were written over her face. The smile she once held was completely gone.

Right when I was about to leave the classroom I stopped, feeling more rimmed with guilt than I knew I should be. She was only looking out for the club, and I'm sure Sakura appreciated her effort. Just for that, I wanted to make my final decision not such a big blow.

"You're going to be a good captain, Ayame," I said and looked behind at her startled face. "Only Mitsuzuri had as much determination as you do. And, if you're as talented as Sakura claims you are, I'm positive the archery club will bring some new trophies to the school," I smiled at her and saw that she blushed slightly at my praise. I left, before she could say anything else.

——————————

Time passed and, slowly, the early days of summer began in June, as the progress in our research had been slowed to a crawl. I had hoped that after we found out about the Third Magic things would speed up, at least slightly, but I was wrong. I somehow didn't take into consideration how many books Tohsaka had and, even when we had something specific to look for, progress was still was sluggish. Aside from that, every time I tried to bring up Sakura to her, she would either silence me with a scowl of disapproval or would simply ignore my suggestions and protests.

Her attitude, however legitimate and understandable, somehow angered me. In my eyes, she was wasting precious time. Every morning she refused to walk with us was a wasted opportunity, but she didn't want to listen. I gritted my teeth to bite off the comment that I knew she would ignore and looked at my book again, although I had learned almost no new pertinent information so far. I hated that finding out about Rin and Sakura interfered with my research, but it couldn't be helped. Ever since she told me I couldn't stop thinking about it.

At times like this, I wished that I knew what she was thinking, what the reason for her reluctance was. I sighed, feeling frustrated, and closed the book more roughly than I intended. "I'll be going," I said, frowning. I needed some fresh air. Some time to think. Some time alone.

This time, she didn't ask for a reason, although it was early. I had an entire hour to burn. She nodded at me and, without a word exchanged between us, I left, feeling Tohsaka's blue eyes burning a hole in my back. Stuffing my hands into my pockets, I resorted to a brisker pace than I'd usually have and took a familiar route toward the bridge, somehow feeling Saber's absence even more than I did before.

Saber…Saber…I momentarily stopped saying her name, because my chest started to ache at the mere thought of her. I had thought that, maybe, that ache would subside once I had started researching and getting some new leads on how to bring her back, knowing that it wouldn't be long before I did.

But I was wrong, very wrong on that assumption. Instead of subsiding, with each passing day it grew steadier, more pronounced, as if knowing that we will soon be reunited, but that day wasn't coming soon enough.

I sighed, feeling depressed, and I tried to ignore that ache in my chest as I made my way through the usual rush-hour traffic and toward the bridge, quickening my pace automatically to get there faster. When I made the first step on the bridge, I felt a wave of relief wash over me, as if this place alone, so incredibly full with her memory, could instantly soothe away my raw edges.

When I looked ahead, towards the long bridge, for a quick instant I could have sworn I saw her there, arms folded loosely over her chest, a small smile on her lips. Her green eyes softened as I approached slowly, taking each step as cautiously as I could as if not to distort the beautiful illusion that my mind created. I allowed myself to be sucked in all too willingly, but when I extended my hand to reach out to her, Saber's smile turned sad and her image shattered into many tiny specs of light dancing around me, much like that day, at dawn, when she walked out of my life.

I stayed frozen in place, unmoving, trying with all my being to make the image come back. I failed.

So this is the end. Her words rang in my ears as clearly as if she had just spoken them. Indeed, that was the end. But we're steadily approaching a new beginning. I allowed myself to smile at that prospect as I leaned against the metal rail. I bowed my head against the weight of the memories that flooded through my mind as they always did when I was in this place.

Shirou, I love you. I heard her voice again and I closed my eyes for the longest time. How incredibly wrong I was to think that I could just forget about her and go on with life as if she had never set a foot in it. How wrong I was to think that forgetting about her was easy and that I was willing to do it. I frowned deeply, though my eyes were still closed.

I foresaw the fact that I would soon falter under the weight of her memory and the pain of her absence, but that moment seemed to be coming a lot sooner than I originally thought it would. I thought back on how this feeling had intensified as I progressed in research. For the first time in all these weeks, I felt a quick pang of fear. What was I going to do if there wasn't a way to bring her back?

It was already painful to go through each day, acting close to normal in front of my family and friends, putting on that usual fake smile for them and assuring them that I was alright.

I straightened, opened my eyes and peered up at the sky. Can you see me now, Saber? I asked the Heavens. I briefly wondered what she would think if she could see me now. Would she be sad for me, that I couldn't move on? Or would she be happy that I still love her as deeply as I did before? Knowing Saber, it would probably be the former. If she could, she would give me a lecture about taking care of myself better and, possibly, she'd even tell me to consider forgetting about her if that was what it took. A small smile spread on my lips on thinking of her scowling face, but it faded as I thought of her.

Only a dead man thinks of placing others before himself, she said, and I remember her looking me right in the eye as she said it. Then she looked away toward the setting sun. Its fiery colors embedded in her green eyes and her golden, sun-painted hair, making her expression seem even more determined, as well as angry.

Don't ever go meddling in my past ever again! She almost shouted at me and I closed my eyes again, though I didn't try to block out the painful memories. The painful ones and the happy ones were both part of the same core. Denying them would be as if I was denying a part of Saber, and therefore Saber herself.

I recalled the many expressions she revealed to me; the smiling one, the embarrassed one, the angry one, the sad one, her composed expression when she fought, and that one look that was for me alone, that I saw that last night when she took her hair down. I dearly hoped I would get to see her face again, to hold it in my hands and to never take it for granted ever again.

I lost track of how long I stood there in thought. If it wasn't for the sun slowly, but deliberately going towards the horizon, I wouldn't have known how much time had passed. It could've been anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. People walked by me without giving me a second glance. The sound of their cars and shoes against the pavement, though annoying and loud at first, slowly faded to the background, so I didn't pay them any further heed.

That was why, when a soft sounding pair walked towards me and stopped by my side I didn't even notice, until the owner's voice said, "Senpai?"

Although I knew exactly who it was, I still looked up to meet Sakura's worried lavender eyes under her thin, furrowed brows. "Hey Sakura," I said, my tone sounding distant even to my ears. I put on a smile just so that she would overlook my blunder.

She was merciful. Or she was just being as she always was, unnaturally kind. Either way, she tactfully ignored my slip and returned my smile. I started feeling better just by looking at it. "Senpai, you came back here again, I see," she noted. One word in her sentence stuck out to me.

"You saw me here before?" I asked her and she blushed, her eyes widening momentarily, averted from me to gaze at her folded hands, as if finding them rather interesting all of a sudden.

"I sometimes take this route when I go to Senpai's house."

"I had no idea," I mused and realized I was still slumped over. I straightened up, but felt slightly worse that Sakura had to see me during my most depressed moments.

Sakura shrugged, nonplussed by my lack of observation, and looked away toward the sun. "I didn't want to bother you," she answered easily and then we both remained quiet.

I tried to remember the last time I had been alone with her, but couldn't. It was, most likely, more than a year ago, before the Grail War had even started. It felt nice, as if we were walking down memory lane together. I looked at Sakura's face and I suddenly remembered the picture that Tohsaka showed me of the two of them when they were little.

I tried picturing her with dark hair and blue eyes, much like Tohsaka's, but I couldn't. I was used to seeing Sakura this way and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't yield that image.

Sakura noticed me staring at her and she met my eyes curiously, a slight blush forming in her face. "What is it, Senpai?" she asked me and I panicked ever so slightly. I didn't know how to approach the subject. I didn't want to give away what I knew or, indeed, that I knew anything at all.

I looked away towards the sun that was beginning to set and leaned against the rail again. "I was just thinking of the past," I started, "about Kiritsugu and my lost parents." Sakura was watching me intently.

"Do you remember your parents at all?" she asked me kindly, thinking this was a hard subject for me. She didn't know that it was much harder for me to talk about the Fuyuki fire that caused the death of my parents. I mourned over Kiritsugu's death a lot more than my real parents because my mind somehow held no recollection of them or any memories before the fire at all.

I shook my head. "I don't remember anything. That made me wonder, right before you came. As far as I can remember you never talked about your family," I felt the knot in my throat rise but I hoped it wouldn't be obvious in my tone. "Why is that?" I asked and looked at her to see her reaction.

Before my eyes, her frail body stiffened ever so slightly and her eyes widened, my question completely catching her off guard. I never asked this before because I felt as if these were matters that I shouldn't ask about and shouldn't know, unless that person is willing to share. This case was entirely different in my eyes though, which was why I made the exception.

"Senpai," she said slowly as if I was missing something. "You know about my family." Her words struck me as odd at first and then I realized my big mistake and cursed myself internally. I did know about the Matou family, but that wasn't who I was asking about. Sakura, however, never mentioned the fact that she was adopted, let alone what happened after her adoption. I wasn't supposed to know, but Rin told me. Rin and Sakura weren't on the best of relations. How would Sakura react if I told her Rin told me her story?

"Yes," I hedged after a long silence on my part, "I do. But–" what? What could I say now to fix my blunder? Should I tell the truth?

I looked deeper into her lavender eyes and realized that maybe the truth might be the best way to deal with this situation. How else could she find out that Rin really does care about her?

"Senpai?" Sakura's voice brought me back to where we were. On the bridge, close to the time when we would have to go home.

"Never mind," I said, smiling assuredly, "forget I mentioned anything on the subject."She nodded slowly, as if suspicious that I might start interrogating her again. I put my hand gently on the small of her back, and guided her away from the bridge. "Let's go home," I said, hoping she understood the double meaning of my words.

Sakura returned my smile and it was brighter than I've seen it all day. She nodded and followed me, letting herself to be guided by my hand. She leaned against me ever so slightly, but I didn't pull away, thinking that our conversation, though short, might have drained her emotionally. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that she had closed her eyes briefly.

We walked in silence all the way home.

When we arrived and got inside, I was surprised to see that Ilya was already there, her arms folded across her chest, looking sullen. "Where have you been?" she pouted at us. "It's close to dinner time."

"Is it?" I asked distractedly, not really bothered by that information. Sakura, on the other hand, started panicking and almost ran to the kitchen to get started.

"It's ok, Sakura, I'll help you," I said easily, but that didn't calm her down.

"But Fujimura-sensei will be home soon," she said frantically. Despite her panic, I was impressed to see that Sakura was very quick and precise in her movements as she started on the food immediately.

"So? She can wait." I pictured Fuji-nee's face when we tell her that dinner will be late.

Sakura decided on something quick and easy, the main dish being eggrolls with a few sides. We moved quickly working together and with Ilya's help, we were almost done by the time Fuji-nee came.

As she marched into the dining room, she inhaled deeply and said, "Eggrolls!" as if she was being reunited with an old friend. I grinned at the mental picture and put the side dishes on the table. When everything was done, we all settled at the table in our usual spots and we were just about to start eating when—

Right before my chopsticks reached my mouth, the phone rang. We all stared at it for two rings, but then I finally decided to take it.

"Emiya residence," I answered, more out of habit.

I was surprised to hear Tohsaka's voice at the end of the line. "Shirou, you have to come quick." Her voice was odd. She sounded frantic, but I couldn't decide if that was because something bad happened or because she was really happy about something.

"What happened?" seemed to be a safe question.

I heard her take a deep breath as if to steady herself, then she quickly rushed through the words. "I think I found it."

My heart skipped a beat at the possible meaning, but I wanted to make sure before I started celebrating. "What did you find?"

"I think," she emphasized the word, "I found a way to bring Saber back. Or, at least, how to summon her soul after we figure out how to establish the path toward Akasha."

My eyes widened and my breath got caught in my throat. "I'll be right there," I said and waited for her quick reply before I slammed the phone in the receiver.

"What happened, Shirou?" Fuji-nee asked me, looking worried.

"I'm going to Tohsaka's," I answered, frowning though my lips were gradually widening into a grin. I hardly believed that she had actually found something. I regretted leaving her house early now.

"For what? Did something happen?" she asked me, looking confused. She and Ilya were staring at me, but Sakura was looking down at her folded hands in her lap. I couldn't read her expression because her long, lavender bangs hid her eyes. Immediately, as I looked at her, I realized I was leaving right when we were about to start on the dinner she prepared. I felt guilty and ashamed, but it couldn't be helped now. I had already told Tohsaka I'd be coming. I made a mental note to make it up to Sakura later.

"Tohsaka just found some vital information for our research," I answered as I took an eggroll and bit off half of it.

"Can't it wait?" Fuji-nee kept badgering me with questions.

"Can't you at least stay for dinner, Senpai?" Sakura's quiet voice somehow seemed louder in my ears than Fuji-nee's and I was panged with guilt when I answered.

I only answered Sakura's question. "No, I'm afraid I can't." I ate the rest of my eggroll, took another one for the road and went towards the door. "Don't wait for me, but I'll be back as soon as I can."

Right before I exited though, I stopped and unconsciously put my hand on the door frame. I looked over my shoulder at Sakura alone and saw that her lavender eyes revealed she was hurt by my actions - truly hurt. That look was like a punch in the gut.

I gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise." And just like that, I cast a magic spell that only I could cast, that those who knew me understood beyond question; I don't give my promises lightly and when I do, I always keep them. I stood in the doorway and waited for her reaction - any kind of reaction. She gave me a weak smile in return and once I saw that I left.

As soon as I was outside I ran at full speed toward Tohsaka's house, feeling that I couldn't get there soon enough. The sun was beginning to set and if I wanted to get there before nightfall I had to hurry.

Saber…Saber... The ache was back and my heart was pounding frantically, though I knew that it had little to do with the physical effort of running at full speed. My pulse was pounding hard in my ears, sounding more like a pendulum than a heart beat as I felt adrenaline rush through my body, pushing me forward, faster.

Saber's smiling face materialized in front of my eyes, slowly beckoning me to the truth.

Beckoning me to her.

A/N: I'm terribly sorry for the long wait. Homework has literally been eating up my time, but right now, for a while, things should get back to normal. I don't know how close to my usual deadline i can get from now on, which is a week, because i have two beta-readers who are looking over these chapters before i post them on here. These two people also have their lives and their own time and i'm honored that they volunteered to do this for me. I won't hurry them.

Also, another reason why i haven't posted this chapter this weekend like i initially proposed was that it proved to have more difficult things to insert than i thought. It's been though quite some changes, but something tells me it won't be nearly as bad as the next chapter.

Thanks so much for all of you wh are still reading this story, despite my long absence. I hope that what will come next and how things will unfold will be worth it.

Also, thanks so much for all of you who favorited or alerted my story as well as reviewed on it. Reviews with your comments, criticism and opinions are always welcome.

That's it for my rambling. Enjoy the new chapter!