Report to the Board of Governors, Hogwarts School of Magic, for 1989-90
Potions — Severus Snape
… and he has been offered a contract by "Dust and Mildew" publishers to write an updated textbook for the Potions classroom. This reflects very well on Hogwarts as a whole, and on the quality and breadth of Professor Snape's teaching. This should also cheer him up, as his attitude has been exceptionally taciturn this year.
General School Report
… and the snap inspections of the classrooms brought up no nasty surprises. The Potions classroom in particular was spotless, without even any Muggle chewing gum on the bottom of the desks …
Excerpt from the diary of Severus Snape, August 1990
I can't win. I get rid of one Weasley, I get TWO in return. And those two idiots caused more damage in my lab with one of their stupid gags than Shunpike did in a week. Cleaning cauldrons was too good for them — I had great joy in setting them to scrubbing the underside of every desk in the dungeons without turning them over.
Although from the talk of them, Slytherin might be in danger of losing the Cup next year. Dammit.
And what is it with Hufflepuff and their boys? They might not be the brightest, but why is every girl in first AND second year after Diggory, for Frith's sake? It's not like he's anything special or sparkly. Although ten points from every girl going cow-eyed over him and stuffing up their Potions made having him around a little more bearable.
Best moment: Seeing Warrington prove that there's a use for sides of beef. Although I was wrong to think of him as Keeper. When he's chasing, nothing can stop him.
Worst moment: Narcissa coming to see me on a "private" matter. Thought it was to blow me up for the party last year. Instead … I couldn't accept. Lucius is my friend, and I don't have a lot of those. And how could I sleep with Narcissa when all I can think of still is Lily?
Besides, I turned her crazy sister down after she came up to me at a meeting and licked the palm of my hand. Creepy. But sleeping with Narcissa would be too much like sleeping with Bellatrix, and that I couldn't do.
Also, I know she doesn't love me. She doesn't even really want me. She just wants another child, and she thinks she has a better chance with me. Stupid, really. Any child we might have wouldn't look like a Malfoy — and how would that go down in our world?
Second worst moment: Looking over the brightest bunch of first-years I've seen in a long time in the other houses and seeing them ready and eager. If He-Who comes back any time soon, it'll be this lot I have to deal with.