"Hi!" E-A-P (exploding albino potato) here! Here's the next chap! BE WARNED: NEAR IS VERY, VERY, WEIRD! And theres crossdressing...LemonISH refs...But nothig really disturbing...!

"Where the hell is Mello?" Matt wondered as he sat on the couch playing his DS. He should have been back from the pet store about 2 1/2 hours ago. Picking out cat good doesn't take THAT long.

Meanwhile:

Mello had been given a room in Near's house/Kira reserve place that was pretty much like a hotel room, but the fridge had mostly cat food and milk in it and the bedstead had paw-prints on it. And Near had given him some cat toys.

The albino was feeling quite pleased with himself on being able to capture his rival/crush in the pet store and thought up a plan to do so that quickly. He just so happened to be the kind of person to keep chloroform on him at all times. Who knows when you might need it?

He decided to leave Mello (who's chains were removed by the way) in his room and work on the Kira case for a bit, but after an hour he thought he needed to check on his neko friend(?).

Melly had a temper tantrum. The albino could tell by the state of the room. Toys and bedding thrown everywhere and scratch marks on the wall from Mello's long fingernails.

"Uh oh, did Mel-Mel-Chan have a tantrum?"

"I-what? MEL-MEL-CHAN? WHO SAID YOU COULD CALL ME THAT?"

"Your my kitty, so I get to name you!"

"I AM NOBODY'S KITTY!" The blonde shrieked. "I AM MELLO, THE BADASS MAFIA DUDE THAT KIDNAPED SAYU!"

"I got you at the pet store, gave you cat toys and named you. You are SO my kitty!"

"You do know that cats EAT sheep right?"

"Well if a human fed it prepared sheep meant it probably would eat it, but I doubt a regular cat could hunt a sheep itself, and slaughter it."

"A badass mafia cat could."

"Aww that's a cute nickname for you too!"

"0h great..."

"Oh and Mel-Mel-Chan, you are gonna need some more cloths unless you want to stay in your vest and jeans for all eternity, I'm going to go get you some."

"Whatever. I like black. Remember that."

While Near was gone Mello played with the cat toys and plotted his escape. Here are some of his ideas:

1. Jump out the window (cats always land on their feet...?)

Near and escape (Ok that might get him in jail...not that he shouldn't already be in jail.)

3. Bust down the locked door and escape (If he actually COULD break down the door Rester would probably see.)

4. Suicide by chocking with a cat wand toy and become a ghost and then float through the wall (Mello doesn't want to be on 1000 ways to die...that would be embarrassing..."Feminine looking neko boy strangles self with cat toy in the Kira research building..."

When Nia returned with a few bags of clothing Mello looked up to see what he'd got. It wasn't THAT hard to see what kind of cloths Mello likes to wear and he certainly hoped Near hadn't screwed up.

Oh but he would certainly find out that albinos's really ARE scheming evil geniuses...

Near held up a dress, and tossed it to Mello.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS YOU SHEEP BASTARD?"

"I believe most people with basic human intelligence know that, that is a Gothic Lolita dress."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

"You said you liked black." Near shrugged. "it's black isn't it?"

"OH COME ON NEAR, WHEN HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ME IN LACE AND RIBBON?"

"Well I thought you's look kawaii!" He smiled. "Here are are stalkings for it."

Near dug a pair of over-the knee socks and and garters and gave then to Mello who bared his teeth and growled, then jumped up to attack L's first successor, but the. Near pulled his little bottle of chloroform from his pocket and held it up threateningly.

"If you don't put on that dress and socks then I will knock you out with this and put it on FOR YOU."

The neko stopped in his tracks and weighed his options: Put on a dress and suffer utter humiliation, or HAVE NEAR PUT HIM IN A DRESS, and be condemned to shooting himself out of shame as soon as he got his gun back?

First option, definitely.

"I HATE YOU SO MUCH NEAR!"

"Will you put it on?" Near said sternly.

"Only because I rather put it on myself than have you do it." he grumbled. "...And" Mello mumbled, "Who knows what else you'd do...I'm not losing my virginity to a sheep..." *shudder*