Chapter 5
They sat like that for a long time, Sabine and Jordan, talking about the quiet things in life, all the places they'd like to visit before they died. Sabine found out that Jordan was obsessed with the Roman culture and that he wanted to go visit the Roman Empire someday. She was quite impressed with Jordan; he was very smart for a boy of eleven, and he sure knew his history. Sabine was in high school, or had been before all this in high school, and she didn't know half the things that he knew.
After wrapping up their conversation, she spotted Jordan glancing at the notebook, ever so often. She couldn't help but be nervous at the thought that he was going to pick up her notebook and read her life story. It was definitely not something that she wanted read by other people. Weren't journals supposed to be private? It was kind of funny, she was about to call it a diary, but she quickly changed her mind, saying how diaries were for young girls—and she was not a young girl.
Surprising her, by doing what she so feared, Jordan snatched up her notebook—her heartbeat speeding up—and began flipping through its pages, where she kept her darkest secrets. No, she wasn't ready for them to be discovered, but what choice did she have? "What's this?" He grinned. "Do you actually carry around a diary?"
Sabine couldn't help but feel annoyed at Jordan for calling it a diary. "It's not a diary," she murmured, with clenched teeth, as she tried to grab the journal from Jordan, but he had a firm grip on it and quickly moved it out of arms reach. "Give it back!"
Oh little boy, how little do you know how much of a pester you are being. Sabine thought dryly. "Not so fast," Jordan objected, flipping to a page and pausing to read it. It was strange that Sabine's, already fast pulse, kept quickening. It shouldn't bother her like this, but it did. She couldn't help but pray that the entry he was reading wasn't about how she was trying to get out of here. By the look on Jordan's face, she was unsure of what he was reading—his face was free of any emotion. All of a sudden, he flicked his eyes up at her. "What's this?" He questioned, showing her the book. "Are you planning on leaving us, Sabine? What is the Elemental cross?"
She let out a loud hiss and managed to pluck the journal from his grasp and hug it to her chest tightly. This was all happening way too fast. No one was supposed to know about her plans. That was what journals were for, right? A place to keep your most inner, private thoughts—away from prying eyes of the public. Now, regrettably, that was no longer true. Someone had found out. What was she supposed to do now? She couldn't very well just go off and tell an eleven year old boy everything. No doubt he would go telling everybody at the academy. Sabine would then be forced to leave.
If she did tell him, she'd then be forced to kill the boy. He was too much of a liability. She couldn't risk it. She regretted the thought of having to kill Jordan, though, because she was actually quite fond of him. It was as if Jordan was a long lost brother. No, she couldn't kill him, unless it was absolutely necessary. "Listen, Jordan. You have to forget everything you saw in this book. It's just a story that I was working on." Please believe me. Sabine thought, crossing her fingers.
Jordan looked at her like he couldn't believe that she was telling him that ridiculous story. Of course, Jordan would never believe such a thing. He was too smart a boy. "Don't give me that, Sabine." Apparently, he dropped the miss in front of her name and he felt like he could call her just Sabine. Weirdly enough, Sabine was actually okay with him calling her that. It was as if they had known each other for years. "I know you're planning on doing something drastic. Why don't you tell me what it is and maybe, I can help you."
It was a kind offer indeed, but how could an eleven year old help her, except by getting in the way. Now, Sabine had to try and figure out how she was going to let him down, without hurting him too much. "I appreciate the offer, Jordan. I really do, but I can't let you help me. This is something I have to do by myself. Not for eleven year olds."
Jordan's eyes widen as she said that. "Aha! So, it wasn't a story. I don't understand why you won't let me help you," he grumbled, folding his arms against his chest. "Two people are much better than one and you know that."
That may have been true, but what did Jordan know about fighting, if it came down to it? He was only eleven, for crying out loud! No doubt he would find a way to get himself killed. Then Sabine would feel guilty for the rest of her life. No, she couldn't bring an eleven year old into this. It wasn't worth the risk. "That may be true, in most cases, but not this one. You're too young and besides, your parents would miss you. What am I supposed to tell them if you were to get hurt? I'm sorry, but no. It's too much of a risk, Jordan."
Anger flashed in Jordan's eyes, as Sabine told him that. "How do you know I can't fight, huh? You've never seen what I can do. I've lived at the academy most of my life, training." That still didn't mean that Sabine could risk his life, just like that. "And you're wrong you know. My parents wouldn't miss me, because I don't have any parents."
Didn't have any parents? The poor boy. Sabine let herself sympathize over that for a moment, before she began to wonder about something. Was Jordan simply telling her this because it would help her to change her mind about letting him come? No, she wasn't going to fall for that trick so easily. Though, Jordan's eyes did sadden as he told her that. It was almost enough to get her to say yes, but she quickly shook her head, clearing her thoughts. "How dare you use that on me!" She shrieked at him.
Immediately, Jordan's eyes began to fill up with tears. Oh, great, here we go. Another trick no doubt. "You think I'm making this up?" He sobbed. Great, now she was the bad guy. Just perfect. "Why would I make something like that up? I sure as heck don't want any sympathy." Jordan spat on the ground in anger, and went to stand up.
Sabine grabbed him by the arm, stopping him before he could get very far. "Jordan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. It's this stupid mouth of mine. Sometimes, I say things without thinking about the consequences first." She tried pulling him back to the ground—thankful when he complied. "How did you parents die?" She asked, not sure if that was a good idea, but it was too late.
There was a brief pause before Jordan said anything. It appeared as if he was trying his hardest not to cry. Why oh why did she hat to say what she did? Big, fat, stupid mouth! "They died when I was only seven years old," he started, closing his eyes as if he was trying to remember exactly what happened. Or maybe, he was just trying to forget that she was here. She couldn't help but hate herself for being so insensitive. "There was a fire," his voice began to quiver. "I didn't mean for it to happen. My mother had lit a few candles one day and she and my father had left the room only for a moment, but that moment was long enough for me to set the house on fire." Jordan brought his voice down to barely a whisper. She had to strain to hear what he was saying. "I-I only wanted to smell the candles. Mother had said they smelled like candy canes. I didn't believe her though. The candles were up on the piano, and I had to stand on my tip-toes in order to get the candles down. I was a small seven year old. Anyway, I still could barely reach and I ended up knocking two of the candles over onto the floor. It was too late by the time my parents came running into the room."
By this point, Jordan was full on sobbing and shuddering violently. It was as if he was reliving that tragic moment. He then began muttering incoherent words and rocking back and forth on his knees, his arms wrapped around himself, as if doing that was the only thing keeping him upright. Sabine had to try and reach him, before he was unreachable. "Jordan!" She shouted, while shaking him, trying to get his attention. "Jordan, listen to me. You're not there. You're here at the academy. Open your eyes Jordan, please. You're scaring me."
At that, Jordan's eyes snapped open. She almost didn't recognize him because of the haunted look in his eyes. It was scary and Sabine hated seeing him like that. After a moment, Jordan's eyes began to clear and he seemed to finally recognize her. He collapsed in her arms, exhausted from his outburst. "I can never forgive myself for what happened. I was the only one to survive the fire. My twin baby sisters lost their lives as well."
Sabine couldn't begin to imagine the guilt that Jordan had been carrying around for years. She then began to wonder how he had managed to survive, while the rest of his family burned to death. She was dying to ask him, but she didn't think that now was the time to be asking such questions. So, she did the hardest thing that she had ever done. She let it go.
Jordan sniffed and rubbed the tears out of his eyes with the back of his hand and sat up. He refused to look at Sabine for several minutes. No doubt he was having trouble dealing with the fact that he was crying like a baby, while Sabine—a girl—was in the same vicinity as he was. Boys weren't supposed to cry. They were supposed to be the strong and brave ones, while all the girls struggled with their emotions. It was the way life was supposed to work, right?
Finally, after what seemed like forever, Jordan looked up at her, and she couldn't help but feel relieved at that. She hated the thought of having him be mad at her. "Sorry 'bout that," he sniffed. "I know what you're probably thinking right now." How could he possibly know what she was thinking? Unless he was telepathic, which didn't seem very logical, seeing as telepaths didn't exist. "You're probably wondering how I survived, while my entire family was being burned alive."
Actually, that was exactly what she was thinking about. "Well, you're right about that. How did you escape that fire?"
"A neighbor had noticed our house was on fire and came inside to try to help. They had made it to my parents, but they shooed the neighbor away and told him to get me out first. I tried fighting with the neighbor, saying how it was my fault and how I needed to stay and be the one to die in that house. I had reached my sister, Delilah, and picked her up and brought her over to the neighbor (I hadn't realized that she was dead already. I was only seven, after all. I thought maybe she was just sleeping). I told him to take the baby and leave me. He refused, of course," he said with a chuckle. "The neighbor held Delilah in one hand and pulled me along by my arm. We had almost made it outside, but not before the right side of my body caught fire.
"Chris panicked, as you could imagine, and threw me onto the grass, rolling me over and over, trying to get the fire off me. It didn't seem to be working until someone spotted us and doused me with a gallon bucket of water." Jordan paused and then smiled; only it wasn't a friendly smile. It kind of scared Sabine a little bit. "You want to know the funny part? The fire didn't seem to have any effect on me. I remained unscathed. Not a burn to my body. I'm immune to fire, Sabine."