Disclaimer: I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! or any of its characters, settings, or adorable weaponized animals.

Notes/Warnings: Spoilers through chapter 246 (Yamamoto's rematch with Genkishi). May also contain some butchering of your childhood.

Summary: In which Gokudera and Yamamoto have a Pokémon battle, because they can.

Mafia Days: Chapter Three - Tornado Punch

"Jirou! I choose you!" The Akita Inu appeared in a flash of blue light.

"Go! Uri!" Uri burst into existence and immediately tried to claw Gokudera's face off. Caught somewhere between exasperation and embarrassment, Gokudera made a sort of hissing noise and pried the cat back off. "No, Uri, him, attack him!"

Yamamoto laughed. "Jirou, use Water Gun!"

"Jirou!" cried Jirou as little blasts of water jetted out in Uri's direction. "Jirou!"

"Ha! Like such a pathetic attack could take us out!" mocked Gokudera, looking as self-satisfied as you've ever seen him. "Uri! Let's show them what we're made of! Flamethrower!"

"Uri!" meowed Uri, opening his mouth (yeah, Uri's a dude in this fic, what) and spewing out molten jets of flame.

"Whoa! Look out, Jirou!" Yamamoto called, and Jirou dodged obediently. "Good job!" said Yamamoto, pumping his fist. "Okay, let's hit them back! Use Surf!"

"Jirouuuu!" Jirou growled as a giant tidal wave appeared behind him somehow and then barreled past without hitting him because of course it was aimed at Uri, and it would just be silly if Jirou got hit by his own attack. It's not like he was Confused or something.

"Uri!" cried Gokudera as the little cat was tossed asunder. "Shit..." he muttered, a drop of sweat appearing on his brow. "I forgot, Fire types are weak against Water!"

"You forgot?" Yamamoto chuckled with one arm behind his head, looking all, 'lol, what?'

"Shut up! Uri... you fought well, but it just wasn't enough after all. Looks like I'll have to swap you out. Return!" He held out his box, and Uri vanished in a beam of light. Then Gokudera reached for his belt and selected another box.

"Garyuu! Go!" he shouted, and an eager-looking kangaroo appeared, ready to do battle.

"Does Ryohei know you borrowed that?" Yamamoto asked.

"He won't miss it," Gokudera said evasively before assuming one of those gung-ho POINTING STANCES that are so popular in Pokemon and also Phoenix Wright. A spotlight fell on him. "NOW!" he shouted. "Garyuu! TORNADO PUNCH!"

"Tornado Punch?" Yamamoto mused.

"That's an attack, isn't it?"

"Maybe..."

"Well, whatever, it is now. Get him, Garyuu! Tornado Punch!"

"GARYUU!" screamed Garyuu with the fire of combat burning in his eyes. "GA..." He leaned back, raising his fist. "...RYUU!" With a mighty swing, he shifted forward and nailed Jirou right in the snout.

"Jirou!" cried Yamamoto, lunging forward to catch his faithful friend as he sailed through the air. "Damn... okay, you've done enough! Return!" A moment later, Jirou was gone, and Yamamoto's ring clicked into another box. "Go! Kojirou!"

Kojirou appeared and did a little show-offy barrel roll in the air to demonstrate that he was ready to rock and roll.

"Looking good, Kojirou!" Yamamoto said. "Okay..." A glint of steely determination set in his eyes. "Let's finish this... Waterfall!"

A huge crest of water rose up and roared toward poor Garyuu.

"Evade, Garyuu!" Gokudera called. "Use Agility!"

Garyuu randomly began to zigzag in all directions like a pinball, successfully avoiding the wave.

"Don't give up, Kojirou!" Yamamoto shouted. "One last try! Ice Beam!"

"How the hell does your stupid swallow know Ice Beam?" Gokudera demanded, flipping rapidly through the strategy guide to see if Kojirous can indeed acquire that technique (they can!). "Damn it!"

"Kojirou!" Kojirou chirped as a ray of pure white light charged in his beak. "KOJIROUUUUU!" The light shot forward, a frigid blast.

"Dodge it, Garyuu!" Gokudera called desperately, but alas, the poor kangaroo was hit dead-on in mid-evasive leap and plummeted back to the ground, where he stood there frozen in place as a sparkling new Garyuusicle.

"Nooo!" cried Gokudera, throwing up his hands dramatically and dropping to his knees in despair.

"Haha! You did it, Kojirou! Way to go, buddy!" Yamamoto held out his hand and the little swallow fluttered to it in triumph as the theme from the Rocky films played in the background.

"Next time..." said Gokudera, glaring at the innocent ground and clenching a trembling fist. "We'll definitely do it next time, guys!"

"Garyuu..." murmured Garyuu from within his block of ice.

"Heh, we'll look forward to it!" said Yamamoto brightly. He returned Kojirou to his box, and when Gokudera had done the same with Garyuu, slung a cheerful arm around the Storm Guardian. "Anyway, so I guess that means you owe me a Coke, Gokudera!"

Grumbling under his breath, Gokudera began fishing around in his pockets for change, and together, the two of them walked off into the sunset.